I heard a wonderful startle as I was driving to work. CBC Radio 1 plays an eclectic variety of music, and a song I'd never heard before caught my attention when I heard the line "I'd feel undressed without my cane". I thought it was just a fluke until I heard "...can't be outdoors without my cane".
Then I started paying very close attention to the words, and realized it was a spanko song. Luckily the program host told her listeners the name of the song: My Walking Stick, written by Irving Berlin in 1938. The performer was Jim Byrnes - an appropriate name, is it not?
Here are the pertinent lyrics for your enjoyment.
But my walking stick
You simply must let that be
I mean you can't take that away from me.
Without my walking stick, I'd go insane.
Can't look my best, I'd feel undressed without my cane.
Must have my walking stick 'cause it may rain
And when it pours, can't be outdoors without my cane.
If I ever left my house without my walking stick
It would just be something I could never explain.
The thing that makes me click on Lovers' Lane
Would go for naught if I were caught without my cane.
As for the Lovers' Lane reference, I can imagine a headmaster singing this while off duty. Surely his significant other would be a lady who also enjoys the delights of the rod. The wooden disciplinary type of rod, I mean.