Monday, November 8, 2010

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 6


This week's topic under the microscope was when does an interest become an obsession. As usual, there was a wide variety of opinions.

OnHerKnee: I'm sure that anything becomes an obsession when it begins to interfere with other aspects of life.

Yes, an interest in Spanking can easily grow into an obsession... rapidly.

In fact IMHO it can become an obsession not only when involved in a spanking relationship but probably even more so when not in a spanking relationship!

 R Humphries: I think I have always been obsessed with spanking and most particularly writing spanking stories ... many years ago I was involved in a vanilla relationship and I had to be somewhat circumspect about writing which probably made me quite cranky and was not altogether fair on my partner as I couldn't really explain why I was in a bad mood.

Fortunately my wife MBJ is a spanking enthusiast and not only encourages me to write but acts as collaborator, editor and is, of course, my eternal muse ... so I can now indulge my obsession with complete freedom ... that's the good life.

barely pink: Mine is most definitely an obsession, both in the doing and in the writing about it. But it is not an unhealthy obsession. Having an obsession in itself is not a bad thing; it is when it overpowers all other aspects of life that it becomes problematic.

I am quite happily obsessed by spanking. At least it is not shopping so my bank account remains safe. (Unless it is shopping for implements, in which case I must hide the credit cards.)

Prefectdt: Obsession = n. fixed idea; Domination of the mind by one idea.

Or so my little pocket OED said.

Well with spanking, as there is not a time that I cannot remember not having my mind dominated by it, the obsession must have started at birth.

The blogging has to look after itself, if it becomes a problem, then I will stop, therefore it is not an obsession.

KellyRed: It's an obsession when it starts to interfere with daily life.
Then your significant other might have to lay down the law and set up some rules with consequences (one of which is NOT getting spanked).
I've been obsessed with other things in my life. Spanking is a positive obsession.

Poppy:  I think anything becomes an obsession when it has a negative impact on one's life, when it decreases rather than improves the quality of life.
I think that includes being unable to observe social rules such as not understanding when it is appropriate to discuss spanking or related issues.

But I do think about spanking (all that goes with it) many, many times a day. I think this is made worse (or better!) by blogging. i am always on the lookout for a new idea. It could be said to be an obsession but I am happier and more at peace than I have been at any point in my So maybe it is an obsession but a miraculous, healing one that breaks all the rules of obsessions. I like that it breaks the rules, but I would, wouldn't I?

 Season: I think for me it had been an interest from my earliest memories. As an adult I'd go through periods of time when I thought about it everyday. Then I'd succeed in suppressing the desire for stretches of time, but it always popped up again. I'm not sure I was ever to the point of obsession, but perhaps close at times. One of those times I finally found a community here online, delurked, made friends, and eventually found not only a spanking partner, but the love of my life. Now it is just a lovely wonderful part of life -- more than an interest, less than an obsession.

Daisychain: I feel it definitely has the potential to become an obsession, and agree with the opinion that this is more likely if it is not actually happening!

Michael: Interesting question from Ron.

When something becomes an obsession it becomes all consuming. You think about it or do it constantly. Now being an obsession is not necessarily a bad thing, it is only negative when, as OnHerKnee said, it interferes with other areas of one's life. Spanking is a wonderful obsession, a lifestyle really, but endanger your job security by missing work to stay home and indulge in spanking activity with your partner then that obsession becomes unhealthy. Most things taken to the extreme are unhealthy. As Season says, spanking is now a wonderful part of our lives - more than an interest, less than an obsession.

dublin paolo: The line between interest, albeit great, and obsession lies in the priority one gives it. When you begin to trade in things that also give you pleasure which you would normally do in a day, a week, a weekend you are then headed for obsession. When you begin to be reminded that you're NOT doing the things you are supposed to be doing in order to keep your life in order, you are headed for obsession. Obsession and addiction are partners of sorts so be careful to balance your life in a way where it's not tipped in any one direction. Balance is key.

Ronnie: I can see spanking could become an obsession for some, more especially when it's not actually happening for them. Personally I would say it would only matter if it was damaging your mental state of mind and interfering with other areas of your life.

Please thank Ron for the question.

Throck: I certainly have a spanking obsession, and I think it does matter. I spend way too much time reading spanking blogs, and thinking about spanking, and I often neglect my own blog. I think if C spanked me more it might help. We will see since I'm scheduled to get my first maintenance spanking in a few hours. We decided to do scheduled maintenance spankings based on comments a few brunches back. Maybe it will help cool my obsession, but certainly not my bottom. I'm a little nervous.

Good luck, Throck!

Anonymous: An interest will often become an obsession, but is also a hobby like fishing or stamp collecting, so why not spanking? It is easy to pursue one's spanking hobby; assessing every female bottom one encounters as to its spankability, and the remote possibility that it's owner might offer it to you for a spanking; collecting suitable implements and restraints either from ordinary shops or special sex shops, or even making your own - paddles, switches and birches easily made by a handy man; reading or watching the huge selection of spanking books or internet sites; and then of course there is the real thing. Not so easy to come by, and you must be absolutely sure that your spankee is a real spanko and happy to be spanked, and also that you do not overdo it, which could mean that you never get a second chance.Spanking a non-spanko might mean the end of a nice friendship or even a charge of assault!

So sometimes the hobbyist's dreams come true, and he finds a curvy female bare bottom bent over his knee for him to turn it from snowy white to flaming red.

Morningstar: I have to say at one point in nearly all my relationships spanking - BDSM - became an obsession. However - in my case - over time the obsession settled down to a quiet rhythm in my life.

But I have also noticed that when stress or illness rears its ugly head spanking/BDSM almost disappears from my life/imagination/mind

I always know I am coming to an end of a "bad" period when fantasies start dancing and flirting with my subconscious.

OldFashionGirl: Most certainly an obsession! I'm 24/7 thinking up ways to get me spanked.

Maryann: I don't know when an interest becomes an obsession. I think spanking needs to be a bit more than just an interest for it to really work in a long-term relationship. Yet, if it becomes an obsession for one and not the other, that could also be bad.

Karl Friedrich Gauss: I wonder if Ron suggested this topic because he thinks YOU are obsessed, Hermione.

Anyway, I suspect "obsessed" is just a nice euphemism for "addicted". And yes, I wonder if that's what *I* am.

That's partly why if you've followed my writings on the net, you'll have noticed that I'm sometimes not around for like a month or more at a stretch.

It's because I'm trying to take a break from thinking and reading and writing about spanking, working on asserting a freer relationship to this whole realm.

Can't say how that's going yet. Reading books like The Brain that Changes Itself give me the impression that I may be programming myself to run in a kind of "loop" through my spanking related activities.

In my view, the problem with addictions is not so much that they interfere with one's daily obligations, as that they retard our development as individuals. We get stuck in a rut, and don't evolve towards self actualization the way that we otherwise might were we not devoting so much of our attention towards satisfying "needs" that are, shall we say, "lower" in the hierarchy (ref Maslow).

I think this is a big question that's too often not asked. Thanks for being the one to broach it, Hermione!

CurtisG: If an obsession is thinking about spanking many times a day, then I'm obsessed. On the other hand, I don't agree with those who say you become more obsessed when you don't have a spanking relationship. You may have greater longings, but the ides that you can fulfill your needs, desires and the core of your sexuality all the time is much more consuming than having tto do without.

Em: I think something becomes an obsession when you follow it to the exclusion of other things in your life.

Sometimes we need to be a little obsessed, but if it becomes a regular occurrence, we may want to step back and re-evaluate our priorities :)

houston_switch: When you can't stop thinking about to acting upon the impulse...spanking can become an obsession.


Mistress160: I have to admit, I enjoy my obsessions. But might I ask others here ... could a spanking obsession truly burn out?

A spanking obsessed friend recently claimed her own obsession had done so. But I think OnHerKnee is right ("it can become an obsession not only when involved in a spanking relationship but probably even more so when not in a spanking relationship!") and it just needs a new play partner to relight my friend's obsessive flame...

Hermione: This question came up when Ron thought I was spending too much time at the computer doing spanking blog-related things. Reading and  commenting on blogs plus managing my own do take up a lot of time. Thinking about this question made me realize that I am moderately obsessed with the subject. While I don't believe this is a bad thing, sometimes it takes a higher priority than it should.


Thanks everyone, for visiting and commenting. Brunch will be back at the usual location next week.

From Hermione's Heart

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