Friday FAIL

You all know what a stickler I am for good grammar. It's time for another lesson.

"Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner." Here's an example:

Ron sent me these aphorisms and told me that he'd spank me if I posted them on my blog.

Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble...but shouldn't that be an even number?

I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you fall in love with someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!


Now, don’t you feel better knowing what an aphorism is? Oh, Ron, see what I just posted!