Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 5

 

What has been your experience with restraints?

A.J.:  "Do you ever use restraints?"

Another question revealing how damn boring I must be. 

Unless you consider her panties at her ankles while OTK acting as a kicking restraint, the answer is "No." And "no" when on either side of the lap. That is more spanking ritual than I want to do; that, and she never asked me.  (See?  Boring.)

(And right now I'm thinking of the episode of 'Seinfeld' where Costanza is handcuffed to a bed by a woman who then makes off with his clothes and money.) 

However, as a consolation....one time in my late 20's, I was dating this beautiful out-of-my-class blonde who dropped by one afternoon as I was cleaning out my closet of old suits and stuff.  Came to my scores of ties that I never used anymore, ties I was reluctant to toss because they were so expensive.

Me:  "So damn expensive; and now I have no use for them."

Her, with a devilishly sly look on her face every man yearns for:  "Really?  Can't think of anything...?"

Me:  (One one thousand... two one thousand... three...) Click!  "You!  Get naked!  I'll get the whipped cream and berries!"

There was no spanking, but what a great Sunday afternoon!

Note to beginners:  No matter how many ties you think you will need for a four-poster with your favorite play partner - double it!  And have spares handy.  This is no time to be frugal. 

Note #2:  No whipped cream or berries?  Wing it!  You'll come up with something.  The next time you are in the market - get some!  Like the Boy Scouts, ya' gotta' be prepared!

Jack: My wife/mommy has my legs secured with hers, my hand is pinned to my back. Once she is finished and stands me up, to the wall no rubbing. Once only once I was caught rubbing, another spanking and then she tied my hands so I could not rub. 

Bonnie: Yes, yes, and yes. We use restraints during spankings, though maybe a bit less often in recent years. There is something really exciting about granting my husband complete control over my body. From the moment when I am secured, everything that happens is his choice. I love that. He makes the decisions. If he desires to do something deliciously naughty to me, that is part of the bargain. We both look forward to these special sessions.

Cleveland_Tom: An ex of mine purchased some novelty handcuffs on our visit to the now defunct Geauga Lake Amusement Park, she used them on me a couple of times, they weren't very comfortable, (neither was the paddle she used with them, but I was more into that). The last time she had me cuffed with my hands up and to a decorative headboard behind me. Oddly enough this was in the living room, located in the front of the first floor of the duplex she rented. Her daughter was away at her ex-husband's, so we had the place to ourselves. I'm not sure, but she may have gotten me in a piece of female clothing like a shift or a nightgown, (but I may be miss remembering). The apartment door was right there at the front corner to the hall/stairs to the top apartment, so I was wildly embarrassed and very anxious when a female neighbor came by and Debbie left me where I was and opened the door to talked to her. She only partially opened the door, but I was almost directly opposite and unable to cover up or move. Then had what was probably only a 3 minute conversation even though it felt longer. Debbie did not step out of the way or open the door so the neighbor never saw me, but it left me in such a state that the paddle felt ever harder when she continued our play.
Anyway, would rather use leather cuffs if I ever played that way again. Sadly, I have no playmates.

Wendel: The Misses bought some arm and leg restraints long ago. We each took a turn tying down the other and administering a whipping. It was ok but not our thing. The restraints have been in the closet ever since.

Graham: Sometimes. It adds a nice dimension and also makes it easier for me to reach the point of tears. I do like the feeling of being totally under her control. 

Prefectdt: I never ask to be restrained, but I am not against being restrained for a play scenario, if the other party wishes it. There is are only two conditions to my being restrained 1/ This is not the first time that we have played together. 2/ I feel a certain level of trust for the spanker.

Rosco: Yes. I can’t remember when we started. Unlike spanking, I didn’t have any interest before we did it, but I love it.

That said, it’s tricky. I like to be firmly bound (helpless and vulnerable), but comfortable at the same time. And at times, Irene, wonderful dominant that she is, can be somewhat incompetent in her knot tying.

A few days ago, Irene instructed me to set up the massage table and lie face down. She bound me with yoga straps, including one over my tailbone which kept my bottom in place. After also blindfolding me, she delivered a sound spanking accompanied by a lecture. She left the room, returned 15 minutes later and delivered another spanking - the repeated the whole thing a few more times. I whined and complained of course, but it was pure bliss.

Irene will also often spank me then put me down for a nap, before returning for more discipline followed by traditional sexual activity. She has straps that loop around my thighs connected to handcuffs, and will often blindfold and gag me. After a spanking she’ll turn me into my back and I’ll drift off to sleep (go figure).

This is a pretty loose bondage, I could escape if I tried - but then I’d be in big trouble.

We’ve done a little spread eagle more intense stuff, but honestly the discomfort inhibits my libido.     

Barrel: Yes, we do use restraints. I was wondering if we were crazy, but from the comments so far, I think we are quite sane.

Restraints are always used when we have a session, as the intensity and duration are longer and harder. Certainly the aura is heightened, but our sessions include extended caning with three canes, single tail whipping and an extra heavy tawse.

We use two positions in a session, the first being restrained to a retractable hoist in our garage we normally use for hanging bikes and garden hoses...but it works well as a rack too. I am not hung but stretched enough to prevent movement when she wields the single tail on my back and other implement on my buttocks.

The second is a bench, with convenient restraint points to use Velcro straps to not only bind my extremities but also open my inner thighs just below the crease in my buttocks. This providing unlimited access with her tawse to the most sensitive skin. I wear a protective cup for obvious reasons, but a properly applied tawse stroke can exceed the most intense cane stroke, making the restraints invaluable.

The resulting bonding we both get from these is exceeded only by the intimacy that follows. 

Loki_Darksong: My use of restraints does depend on the play session at hand, usually for both practical and artistic reasons.

The practical is that the restraints make it easier for my play partner to not be concerned about staying in position on their own. The restraints allow them to focus on the play itself, especially if heavy implements are part of it.

Artistic wise is pretty much self-explanatory. People do look good tied up in various positions both in drawing and in photography.

On a side note, for the times when I bottom I do like the use of restraints on me in scenes involving caning and/or floggings. I can't put into words at the moment but being restrained during those types of scene is a big help for me in my mind since I do believe in if you're going to play you should know that you had been for at least a couple days afterwards. And that only works on me if I am restrained.

Roz: We did use restraints occasionally years ago. Mostly soft restraints such as scarfs etc and had a set of novelty cuffs. Also blindfolds. It all definitely added to the experience. 

Hermione: We have a set of silver-coloured plastic cuffs that sometimes come into play. When we last bought a new bed, I chose a headboard that allowed for "attachments".

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #637

Welcome, dear friends, to another spanko brunch. Our good friend Barrel has come up with another exciting topic for us to discuss.

Do you ever use restraints? If so, how often?  Are restraints employed to enhance the aura or to keep the spankee still as the spanking will be especially severe? 

Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion after everyone has had a chance to speak. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 29

Let's discuss lasting effects from a spanking.

Rosco: I’m usually given three or four spankings over the course of an hour or so - each maybe twenty swats with a paddle, leather strap or whip. During this time I descend into another world where little else exists other than my discipline and my disciplinarian. After I’ve been punished sufficiently, sexual activity ensues.

After catching our breath, we’ll usually have dinner. My bottom will be tender, but it’s 24 hours later that it will often be hard to sit.

We don’t use a switch often, but when we do the welts will last a few days and taken a shower brings a delicious reminder. I should go look for a good switch. 

Cleveland_Tom: I was never in a relation where I got a lot of daily spankings. Closest was the time is one I've shared where we had a spanko group party at our "friendly neighborhood dungeon." A women showed up with a hankering to try the other side of the paddle, and I "won" out between the 4 unattached male bottoms in the "slips in a hat" drawing. After a hand spanking over eight oldies songs, we "won" with the reddest bottom prize, (she warned me that her friends said she had a heavy hand). After that I convinced her to try out the all the implements in her toy bag. I wanted to try the spanking blocks they had at the dungeon and we continued the fun, though it went to another level when a male top lent her a heavy wooden paddle. She was able to create some real bruises with that. I checked them out when I got home. I was a little freaked when I started having purple piss while the bruising went down. Still, a very fond memory.

Wendel: We spank often. I have spanked the Misses multiple days in a row and sometime in the morning and then in the evening. On a few occasions the Misses has whipped my butt every night for a week. Hands and wrists hurt from giving the spankings. The bottoms remain sore and marks linger longer. Call us weird but all of this reminds us of the love we have for each other.

Roz: For us there has always been quite a gap between spankings so I always used to love any lasting marks/redness and discomfort as a reminder.

 

Prefectdt: The two short-term effects I get from spanking are usually a high on the day, and what I still call a crash, but what most people describe as sub drop for most of the time the day after a spanking. More long term comes a period that can be from 5 to 9 days after the spanking, when physically I can still have swelling and discomfort from the spanking. Along with that comes an ability to think with surprising simplicity and clarity. This is when I can best think through problems in my life and decide on the best actions to take. In the longest term, I feel more balanced, mentally, to get on with my life, if I am getting spankings at least on a semiregular basis, rather than the imbalance that I suffer from when going through long periods without spanking.

 

Jack: Spankings in this home last for sometime, meaning after the spanking is over. My wife/mommy uses a bath brush when as she states been a naughty little boy. Some spankings might be short, but the after affect is the same as the longer ones. 

 

Dan: Physically, the lasting effects have diminished a lot over the years. In earlier days, I would often get bruising and marking that would last for several days. Now, I get a lot of discoloration that probably qualifies as bruising, but it's not very visible.

Emotionally, it depends a lot on what the spanking was for and all the circumstances around it. Often, when it's over, it's over, without a lot of lasting feelings about it. Other times, especially if the spanking happens in the middle of the day, I'm left with an increased sense of awareness about the fact that I just got spanked and underlying reason for it. 

 

Barrel: Most of our regular spankings are a prelude to intimacy. But that doesn't mean that there are not some effects. My wife likes to use a hair brush with a back that is like a really heavy corduroy texture. When she spanks hard with that brush, I get thin, long blood blisters that will last 4 or 5 days. She also has a heavy, hard plastic paddle that will impart some good welts. Even when she uses her favorite strap or riding crop, the welts and marks fade within a day or two.
I always feel a sense of stress relief where any tension has been cleansed away. With a heavier session, the endorphin rush is unmistakable.

 

Hermione: Because we have been spanking for many years, I don't have many physical after effects. I a session goes on for a longer time, my bottom stays red for a day or two. Since spanking is always followed by intimacy, I often become aroused again after a few hours, thinking of the spanking that we engaged in.    

 

A.J.: "What types of lasting effects do you get from a regular spanking?  How long do these last? If you are the spanker, what are the lasting effects for your spankee?"

"Lasting."  Meaning...? Physically...or mentally?

Unless asked, I'm pretty much a mild spanker; and the same is expected when I'm on the receiving end.  A nice pink tush is, to borrow a phrase, "...sufficient to complete the act."  So physically lasting, to me, is a couple hours.

Mentally, I'm with Perfectdt and the euphoria from the event!  And I don't want that to end.

The real "lasting effects" are the memories of the wonderful women who let me spank them, and who spanked me in return.  Without exception they were all wonderful, I remember every one of them to this day and, most of all - wish I could meet with them again!

Yeah, corny; and probably not what you were expecting.   

  

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #636

Welcome to our weekly spanko brunch on a very significant day in America. If you have time, please join us in our latest topic, contributed by our good friend and regular bruncher, Barrel.

What types of lasting effects do you get from a regular spanking?  How long do these last? If you are the spanker, what are the lasting effects for your spankee?

Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion after everyone has had a chance to contribute. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 22

Aren't fantasies wonderful? Here are yours:

Luvinhub: I have in the past thought about having someone else spank me. When we were actively in a WLM and on occasion my wife would speak to other women around the WLM topic I thought/fantasized about my wife leading/teaching another woman and using me as the spankee to teach the other woman how to truly deliver a spanking. 

Jack: A dream that I have is dating and the person is not my wife, it is the mother that is a friend of my wife. In this dream the mother has rules for her daughter and one is when to be home, not past 10pm. We broke this rule several times and arriving late the mother told her daughter to get to her bedroom and wait for her. Young man, she said sternly to me, my daughter is going to get a spanking, you can leave anytime or get a spanking. I said nothing, the mother was soon giving her daughter a spanking. The bedroom door was open and I saw my girlfriend over her mother's lap, her bottom bared and the hairbrush landing hard. I went to the front room, and can not explain, I took off all my clothes and stood there. When the mother saw me, she smiled and said, saved me some time. Over her lap I went and that hairbrush landed fast and hard and I was soon kicking and pleading. When I woke up the next morning my bottom felt like it had been spanked, my wife looked at me, I said nothing. The dream felt real. 

Prefectdt: I do not really have a regular partner, but I do fantasize a lot about getting spanked by strong-willed, female characters that I see on TV or in the movies. So many, that if I told you about them all, this comment would be as long as a book. There have been a lot over the years. The earliest character that I can remember getting a fantasy spanking from was Colonel Wilma Deering, in the 1980s version of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Lip gloss, Lycra, a high military rank and she was a space fighter pilot. How could a teenage submissive resist? Most recently I have had Hetty Woodstone, from the American version of Ghosts, playing on my mind. But there must have been hundreds in between. I fantasize about the characters and not the actors who play them. As to details of the spanking and sexual content in the fantasy, that varies greatly from character to character. And a Gentleman Sub would not go into individual details. :) 

Barrel: My wife has a female exercise instructor who has been married several times. She works out with the class, is extremely fit and runs the class like a drill sergeant. Plus she can party like a rock star, having hung out at our house during a Christmas party for the class until midnight, drinking wine. I fantasize about my wife hinting I was a jerk during the week and she had plans to deal with me. The subsequent discussions led to the instructor accompanying my wife home and announcing an immediate session. The rest goes as usual except that the instructor won't back off with the caning and I am punished way past normal.

KDPierre: Those familiar with my old defunct blog may recall my very real conversation with my mother over my lifestyle, and her not just politely accepting it all, but enthusiastically endorsing it! it blew me away and was a very powerful and humbling experience. Unfortunately, this conversation preceded a decline in her health and ultimate passing. I often wonder, given how she reacted to what I told her, what might have transpired between us had she lived longer. I have shared these feelings with both my wife and stepdaughter, and both said they believed that had my mother gone on for several more healthy years, that if the circumstances were right, that she might well have taken me in hand and delivered her own discipline as she had in my very early years. I think I would have liked that very much and truly wish it could have happened.

In subsequent years I wrote a trilogy of a fictionalized take on an adult son coming to his elderly mother for a return to their earlier days of discipline and authority as a kind of therapeutic alternative to this actually happening. 

Anon: Well, I'm married, and my Wife periodically checks my computer, and knows about your website, Hermione, so, I'd better post this "anonymously!"

My most common fantasy is really imagining what some real women would be like as spankers. It can happen anywhere (grocery store, mall, etc.), but is most common outdoors on the tennis courts or racquetball courts.

I'm a great admirer of the female posterior and legs. Out "on the courts" you'll see a lot, LOT of women with highly developed legs and butts, swinging hard with their rackets. I can't help to imagine what almost every one of these women would be like if she was actually swinging a paddle or strap: Doing her full windup with her torso, swinger it (racket) back, then letting loose with a powerful, full-body stroke and lots of "follow-through!" Over and OVER again!

Considering the percentage of women who spank (one way or another), I always wonder which of these athletes actually take "their game" home to their hubbies! 

Rosco: Most of my fantasies are based on past encounters which, with enough imagination, I’ve turned into detailed fantasies. (I’ve a few fantasies involving celebrities and female tennis players, but these are the exception.)

One example involves running into Susan at a party. I hadn’t seen her in a few years, but had always found her attractive. She was dressed up more than most. Fixed hair, lipstick, black leather boots and a blouse unbuttoned just enough to see a bit of her black lace bra. (This part is all true.)

We spoke briefly but I was distracted by others for all the wrong reasons.

The fantasy begins “You look great, I love your hair, your lipstick and everything you’re wearing from your shiny black boots up to you lacy black bra.

Thank you she replies, but you’re really not supposed to comment on a girl’s lingerie.

I replied I wondered if she was wearing matching panties.

Susan turned stern. You are a naughty boy. You need to learn some manners. I should put you over my knee and give you a spanking.

I asked if that was a threat or a promise.

She said it was a promise and further she promised me that when she was done I wouldn’t be so impudent.

We left the party forthwith.

I’ve constructed conversations like this oodles of times, tweaking them occasionally as time passes. They almost all start with a real encounter with someone I knew but never had any real interaction with. 

I’ll add a couple of more fantasies and imagined conversations. I delivered a successful spanking to an eager recipient at a young age (I was more interested in receiving than giving but it’s easier to initiate than to ask). At few years later I was quickly seduced by an older schoolmate who said she’d try “anything” but she quickly shamed me for asking about spanking. I didn’t raise the issue again until I was 23 and had gained a little confidence. Until that time I missed a few opportunities when the subject came up - here are two with the real beginning plus how I could have and should have responded.

On my 20th birthday I was walking home from the bus stop with college friends - Bianca, Margaret and her boyfriend James. Margaret opined they should give me a birthday spanking. James scoffed who’s going to hold him down - obviously not wanting his girlfriend to have any part in the idea. I should have said if Bianca (who was single) wanted to spank me, I wouldn’t resist.

But the most obvious missed opportunity was hooking up with a former casual college girlfriend Mary a year after we graduated. We’d gone to different schools in nearby towns, and enjoyed each other but it had always been sporadic due to the distance. I’d gone to her apartment and was drinking wine with Mary and her roommates Suzanne and Julie. Julie had a short dress on with pink lace pantries and I couldn’t stop looking. Suzanne noticed and announced I needed a spanking. Mary brushed off the idea by saying I’d probably like it. This all happened. I could have responded in a million ways and maybe gotten a real spanking, but I flinched and said nothing. I think about this one all the time even though it’s been almost 50 years.

I played a fair amount of tennis during my formative years and had plenty of opportunities to ogle. A couple of courts were elevated a few feet off the ground - during tournaments one could sit in a chair behind the baseline and get great views of firm round bottoms - especially as the received serve.

In my fantasies I am caught for such ogling, and soundly punished. Sometimes it goes beyond a mere spanking.

Thanks to Hermione for posting this question and hosting this blog.  

Hermione: My fantasy always involves a stern relative giving naughty schoolgirl (me) a good, bare-bottom spanking. The situations vary, but the end result is always the same. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #635

Welcome, dear readers, to our first brunch in spring. I had thought that winter was truly over, but yesterday was spent shovelling out from a last-minute snow dump. The robins must be quite puzzled!

Our good friend Rosco has come up with an excellent, multi-faceted brunch topic, for those of you who fantasize about spanking with someone other that your regular partner. 

Is it someone you know, a celebrity or just some mysterious stranger?
Do you imagine a whole scene, including behavior leading up to a spanking, or just the spanking itself?
Is there conversation involved? If so how much and how specific is it?
Does your fantasy take place in a particular place?
Do you try, in your mind, to make it realistic at all? (i.e. not a sexualized activity between consenting adults)  

Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion after everyone has had a chance to contribute.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 15

What has been your experience with bratting?

KDPierre: We always felt that manipulative bratting or intentional provocation was simply the worst thing a sub could do if engaged in a DD relationship, which we have. DD is tricky enough without the mixed signals that sends off. Instead, we just recognized that sometimes a sub just wants to be spanked, and we have ways of conveying it without bratting.

Now, all that said, if we're just playing around, and being silly, and "fun" spanking threats are already flying around, does some playful bratting occur? Absolutely! It's cute and funny. But it has to fall within a very well understood setting. Fortunately, we are able to navigate those two different worlds pretty easily. 

Prefectdt: I love to Brat during a spanking play time, in order to get more or more severe whups. But I will only Brat, physically or verbally, with the permission and pre-negotiations about my actions. Bratting is a lot like spanking itself, it is only fun if all of the participating parties are consenting.

Barrel: I don't intentionally brat, I exhibit enough attitudes and behaviors that justify a spanking and occasionally a session. Our problem is that she doesn't connect poor behavior frequently enough to call for a spanking. Usually, as is the case now, I have to let her know I think we need a session. We work to find times that work, and start the build up, which involves discussion on being a jerk. This guides her into the right mindset to really thrash me.

Rosco: Yes, but only in a fun way. Sometimes I peek at Irene through the keyhole when she’s dressing for example. Sometimes I touch her when I’m not supposed to ( but never when it’s totally unwelcome).

Roz: I have bratted and teased in play which often, but it not always resulted in a spanking. I have also bratted once or twice outside of play which brought mixed results. Thinking back now I think doing so mostly just leads to confusion for both parties.

Wendel: We are not looking for submission or discipline. Spankings for us are meant to be fun. Obviously we will do things that provoke a sore bottom. The Misses will be bad and say things like “I was naughty” or “I guess I deserve a spanking”. Her favorite thing to do is spill or spray water on me. The whipping that follows really turns her on. 

FL: Only in the context of playing, never out of the blue during "normal life".

Graham: Only when it is clearly in fun, as several have described above. Enough unintentional things occur that lead to spankings, and I can always as for a stress relief spanking.

Hermione: As others have said, only in fun. Spankings occur when Ron decides, and nothing I say or do alters that.     

  

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine