Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 11

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all my Canadian readers. We do indeed have much to be thankful for.

What is the most recent implement to cross your spanking room's threshold? 

Roz: The last implement we purchased was a leather paddle and that was some number of years ago now. It was spur of the moment and we purchased it together.

Bonnie: I had no idea so I asked Randy. He didn’t know either, but thought it might be a leather belt he bought for wearing. Of course it had to be tested in other ways.

Barrel: I last purchased an 18” long by 1/4” delrin cane from Cane-iac. It fits in my roller bag and thus made the trip to the UK this summer. While somewhat quieter than our other canes, it is quite effective, leaves marks and can be administered in intimate areas too.    

CEM: Very much a traditionalist, so I stick with basic wood hairbrushes, small wood paddles, canes, a variety of leather straps, riding crops and paddles. For items purchased, I bought quality implements, for items self made, I made them well, so everything lasts for years and years. And when in season, fresh cut green willow switches. 

Tom: Rather than an implement, you should ask what materials intended for a new implement I last purchased, and that would be some leather scraps, (from a cut up cushion), that I got at the co-op crafting store. I'm thinking about making a dragon's tail whip. Though why, I'm not sure, I'm old with no play-partner/spanker, so I guess it's just more stuff for the people who they hire to clean out this "senior-living apartment", to leer over after I'm gone.

Jack: My wife/mommy bought a bath brush with a larger head, and she had padding added to the handle. She bought two, one for home and one for travel.

Rosco: Maybe 6 months ago I bought Irene a wooden paddle that I found online. It beautifully crafted and causes quite the sting even when used in moderation - almost too harsh.

Irene has some arthritis in her hands so it’s best to have implements with a round handle. Even so it’s a little hard for her to swing the leather strap that she likes or the leather ping pong paddle hard enough.

I may try a putting a thin layer of leather on the new paddle to lessen its impact a tad.

A.J.: Nothing. Just the always ‘handy’ and ever-present hand. (God, I’m boring.)
Luckily for me when on the receiving end, my girlfriends also prefer the hand.

Both of us. Boring. Happily!    

Prefectdt: It was in Spring, this year (April I think) I bought a riding crop, made specifically for BDSM purposes. It was only at the start of the year that I found out the difference between a real riding crop and a BDSM riding crop. The real ones have a stiff (often metal) shaft wrapped in leather. Whereas the BDSM riding crops have a flexible shaft, more forgiving of mis-hits. I have been cropped often, but always with a real crop that I would only like to see in the hands of the highly experienced. The BDSM crop should be easy, even for a beginner or less experienced player to use. I have not had chance to try it out yet. Something to look forward to :)  

Dan: I recently bought an implement that was basically three short canes, bundled together with a leather handle. Sort of like a bundle of switches used for birching. I was still recovering from a tailbone injury, and I wanted something that might pack a serious sting while being flexible enough that injuring that area was unlikely.

Wendel: The Misses’s birthday gift to me was this thing called a weighted fire hose paddle. The sting and pain that follows is incredible although I wished I was not as old as I am. My backend hurt all evening and I slept on my stomach with no pants or covers. It is reserved solely for me when she feels a firm spanking is needed. 

Loki_Darksong: The last implement I purchased it is a leather 10 hole Prison Strap out of Etsy a couple of years ago.

Unfortunately since the purchase I had not found the time to go to proper testing out. It has great potential but still got to find a time to explore that potential.

Graham: A small, round Lexan paddle with tapered holes. Stings a lot w/o doing much damage.

Hermione: Ron gave me a lovely little red strap that he found on Etsy for my birthday. It's beautiful, but doesn't do much besides make a noise. He was disappointed that his choice wasn't as effective as he had hoped, so the strap is merely a decorative addition to our toy rack.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 4

What does the spanker do that lets you now this spanking is going to be different?

Bonnie: Some Jazz musicians claim they never play a song exactly the same way twice. I think that concept applies to my dear husband Randy’s approach to spanking me.

We celebrated my birthday last week in the traditional fashion (for us). Except it wasn’t. I anticipated an enthusiastic celebratory OTK paddling with lots of banter, probably up in the bedroom. That would have been perfectly wonderful and totally appropriate for the occasion.

But no. I ended up down in our basement, cuffed to our spanking bench naked for a caning. Yeow! Fortunately, he didn’t go into full punishment mode, but I definitely felt every year. He had candles burning down there for illumination. I didn’t count them. He proceeded slowly and silently as might befit a more somber ceremony. I was intrigued by the change of pace, quite literally, and loved the excellent set of marks he gifted me.

I’m impressed he’s still coming up with new birthday spanking ideas after all these years. Ceaseless variety makes things interesting, exciting, and fun.

Having said all that, I told him afterward that it’s about time to stow the bench for the winter. It’s cold down there! 

A.J.: How about same room same position. With a candle for each year. After each stroke a candle is lit/extinguished (your choice!)

(Imagine going into that room and seeing all those candles! There's some mind-fucking!

Bonnie: I’ve come to expect there will be surprises, but my Prince Charming still invents spanking scenarios that I don’t anticipate. After the session, he sometimes asks how I liked my spanking. This is the about only input I get to his planning process. At that point, however, my mind is typically scrambled to point where my clever response is something like, “My butt hurts.”

If he chose the incremental candle approach you describe, I’d be fine with it.

Wendel: Normally during a hike in the mountains just the pants come down for spankings. To spice things up the Misses will strip naked for her spanking. The spanking and sex that follows after is quite erotic knowing that someone could come along and spot us. 

A.J.: This was my suggested question. An earlier topic had to do with noise-cancelling headsets that led me to ask about things you hear but do not see. I call it "mind-fucking," but "gaslighting," in the good sense also works; the subtle toying with your partner's thoughts for the pure joy it creates.

So, no sound, sound, now visual. You come to the place of judgement and see her/him* do something that immediately get the neurons firing across the synapses. Something that lets you know, 'This time it's going to be different.'

And by 'different' I don't mean threatening. But you're on alert. My pick.

She is seated in that uncomfortable, armless chair that you know so well, kept only because it has one special purpose. You are standing close to her. Her short skirt is pulled back (No! Further back...!!) exposing the lap of justice, a hairbrush/paddle/strap resting on her right thigh...
Your heart beat increases...
Her (calm but decisively): "Get those pants off!"

And at the same moment - She starts to tie her hair up.

And that's my visual! She ties her hair up!

I have learned/noticed over the years - that when a woman ties her hair up, things are about to get serious! And it's for the most common things; play tennis, repaint the living room, the dreaded spring cleaning, wash the car. "It's a job, it has to get done, and I'm going to do it."

And that simple act thrills and excites you. And warns you! There may be a bit "extra" in this one. Good or bad, but it's there.

The fun one: She smiles so sweetly at you when she does this.

The less fun one: There is no smile, her lips are gently pursed like an impatient woman waiting for you to get moving, and she's staring at you, eye-to-eye, as you do as you are told.

The even worse "Oh, shit!" one: There is no smile, her lips are tightly pursed, and she's staring at you, eye-to-eye and not blinking, as you do as you are told. This is where you consider your past life choices.

Even though I don't give/get really hard spankings, there have been times when a bit more than expected was delivered. Something where the eyes opened a bit wider. A "Pink-plus" tush when it is over. But that's about it.

* I don't know what the male equivalent is of tying up the hair. (Rolling up shirt-sleeves?) You?

Prefectdt: I think that this topic is for those with long term spanking partners, so I will opt out this time. Looking forward to reading everyone else's replies, though.

Rosco: I can get a clue by how she’s dressed. Irene likes to dress up for our “dates”, and sometimes changes once or twice during the two hours or so from start to finish. Irene doesn’t have a huge wardrobe, but she’s creative.

She’s done the schoolmarm thing recently a few times, but also can be a cheerleader, a senorita, and any number of other personas. Hairdo, lipstick as well as clothes, and she has a lot of fun with accents as she delivers the obligatory naughty boy lecture as she intermittently thrashes me.

Tom: After some funishment in the bedroom, I was herded naked to the living room, (with one driving smack from the paddle just as I passed in view of the house next door from the kitchen window). She sat on a low ottoman bench, and pulled me over for a fast and furious 30 swat volley, then she dropped the paddle for an endless set of hand delivered spanks, deftly avoiding my one hand's attempt to shield my bottom. That 'driving smack' should have been my clue, she was genuinely mad at me. It became so painful I actually asked her to stop. In retrospect, I wish I had offered her the choice of stopping, or pinning me down and redoubling her spanking.       

Robert: Not long ago I thought I would just be getting a maintenance spanking, but as she had me bend over the couch and pulled my panties down she said that I had been a little lax in some of my chores. I hadn't done the laundry yet and only vacuumed downstairs, for example, so this would be between a punishment spanking and a maintenance one.

She used her paddle first, which is normal, but after about 15 swats, she surprised me by bringing out her hairbrush, which I hadn't seen yet. I then got a dozen or so with that and then I was sent off to the corner for 10 minutes.

Believe me that I made sure to get my chores done more quickly after that!

Roz: Back in the day we would sometimes incorporate light restraints or blindfold. The biggest clue of a spicier spanking is generally the implements or accessories gathered beforehand. 

Hermione: When I am bent over the end of the bed, if Ron lifts my shirt out of the way to broaden the target area, I know I am in for a serious spanking.

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for September 27

This week we discussed pain tolerance.

Bonnie: I’d say my pain tolerance is probably medium overall, but well above average when it comes to spankings. When I’m in that zone, the pain doesn’t register the same. It’s a familiar sensation and one I embrace and accept.

Dan: I'm kind of the opposite of Bonnie. I have always had a very high overall pain tolerance. When it comes to spanking, however, I'm just average. Especially if I haven't been spanked in a while, I'm often astonished at how much it hurts.

Rosco: I really don’t know how I compare to others. I’ve seen some brutal stuff online and some wimpy ass stuff as well. I can’t imagine getting it with a bath brush. On the other hand some floggers are a joke.

I’m surprised I’ve never bruised much given how hard Irene whacks me. Sometimes it hurts like crazy, that’s it’s too hard but it only lasts a few seconds.

I’ve only asked Irene to stop once. We’d bought a carpet beater that felt like iron. Usually I just suck it up and assume she can tell from my reaction if it’s getting a bit much.

I feel like I can take a lot and enjoy the prolonged intensity, but the next day or two will carry quite the reminder. 

Anon: I don't do pain. When on either side of the lap. I have delivered a "punishment" type spanking exactly once and I had to be pleaded with to so.

"Spank me harder?" Sure. If she asks for it, but it's never harsh.

Just me...

Prefectdt: I do not really judge my pain threshold, for non-spanking events. Stubbed toe, bitten tongue, burnt hand they all just annoy me so much. It all seems so unfair. All of that type of pain is so non-consensual, and that is just not on.

Barrel: Generally, I have a high tolerance for pain. However after an extended period of no spanking, we tried a caning session this week. I had to tap out after the 6 or so strokes. While three were misses that resulted in wrap arounds, I just couldn't take it. I think we are both out of practice and my tolerance level is definitely diminished. So, I apologized for not being able to take it as I handed her the plastic paddle the next day, which she applied. I will hand her the hairbrush when I get out of the shower as a continuing step to build my tolerance. I want to get back to where we were and I can take what she wants to give me.

Roz: I would say I have a medium threshold for pain. The pain from a spanking is definitely more welcome than any other kind of pain.

Ronnie: Medium tolerance for pain, but like Roz, the pain from a spanking is different which I welcome. 

Hermione: I have a pretty high tolerance for pain of any kind. I was encouraged as a small child to be stoic about pain, to endure it and not complain. So that extends to both spanking and non-spanking pain.         

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for September 20

What special sounds enhance a spanking?

Barrel: The unmistakable “whurp” when my wife whips the cane through the air before applying it to my backside. That sound heightens the apprehension I have, knowing what is about to take place.

Robert: I'm sure I'm not alone, but she has one paddle which makes a VERY loud *whack* when appropriately applied to my bare bottom. The pain with the sound reminds me what the next few minutes will be like before I get to head into the corner for a few minutes.

Roz: The sound (and sight) of implements being retrieved. Opening of the drawer, wardrobe etc. Plus the sound of the implement before making contact eg, the whoosh of a belt. Not to mention the sound as it lands.

Bonnie: There are several such sounds: a leather belt slipping through belt loops, a paddle slapped against a hand, Velcro restraint cuffs being opened, an alarm on his phone that tells us it’s that special time again, a snap of the elastic of the waistband of my thong, the drop of a brush on the nightstand, the swish of a crop, when he carefully enunciates the word “Spanking” as he explains what is about to happen to me, and my own rapid breathing as the action warms up.

CEM: Whore Moans. (Hormones.) 😁 The sound of her desire, lust, urgency, passion, distress, desire, wanting it to end, wanting more, hating it, loving it, just the sound of her breathing and utterances...that. I know that was not really the question, but...that's my offering/submission to the topic. 😊 

Rosco: For me (us really) spankings wouldn’t be the same at all without the lecture. Not having the whacking sounds would be odd.

Wendel: I love that ½ second of silence right before the wonderful sound of the whack from the paddle or belt. The Misses crying out, sometimes in tears, is also a great addition to the spankings. 

Jack: My wife/Mommy pats the bath brush against her hand as she scolds me. She reminds me this is just the light sound. I will be standing there either naked or pants and underpants around my ankle. When it does land on my bare bottom it makes a loud sound and I make a loud sound also, which can be clearly heard when being spanked in the bedroom.

A.J.: Oooh!!! My question!

I don't give/get hard spankings. It's all sensual fun. But it is essential to mess with her mind!*

Without saying a word I lead her to a familiar place - the plush arm of the sofa. She knows what's coming.

Over the arm she goes. No words are spoken. Her mind racing because - she knows! A skirt flipped up. Panties sensuously pulled down and off. Legs parted.
You stand near her as she clutches a small pillow; not looking at you. And then she hears it - the sound of the belt being undone. The deliberate jingle of the belt buckle is heard. The slow, sensuous snake-like slithering hissss of a belt passing through belt loops. You can almost see her tush react.

She sees none of this. She's not looking. It all playing out so beautifully in her mind. The anticipation of what's to come. And it's powerful. The sound alone sets what's to come. And that's one of the sounds I most love.

Coincident with that moment:
- Hearing that little 'gasp' as she takes in that little bit of air as her panties come off. (That's for me! Ladies - want to fuck with my mind? Make that little sound.)
- The soft 'slap!' sound of leather meeting bottom. I don't spank hard, so this is no more than hand meeting bottom. But I want to create the sound of that slap so she thinks it is more than it is. Just to fuck with her mind!

In reality, I'm not sure I ever created that sound; probably from lack of practice. I think it requires a leather that is not a belt. Suggestions?

* This is an equal opportunity zone. It's also effective when the bottoms over that sofa arm are switched. No judgement here! Whoo-Hoo!    

Roz said "The sound of implements being retrieved. Opening of the drawer, wardrobe etc."

YES! That!

And why hadn't I thought of that?

Putting her in position over the arm of the sofa, bare-bottom up - and then walk away! And she hears that rummaging sound. Worse - his footsteps back!

What a wonderful mind-fucking! At this point the actual spanking is anticlimactic. It bothers me a bit that I had not thought of this; (probably because I don't have an implements drawer.)      

Anon: Sounds are very much a part of it. The "whoosh" of the cane to the "whack" of the paddle. All part of the excitement.

Prefectdt: It looks like I am with the majority here. It is the sounds during play that trigger the mind fairies. The swish of a cane coming in, that loud THWAP! sound as a slipper/plimsoll lands. The sounds of her shoes on a hard floor, as she walks around, out of my sight. Is she getting another toy? Is she just taking a look at her handywork? Is she going to take a run-up this time? 

Hermione: The click of his glasses as he puts them on the dresser, knowing that he means to get down to business. The swish of the wooden shoehorn through the air before it lands.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for September 13

Panties and spanking go together like... Here's what you said.

Bonnie: For my husband, Randy, spanking and panties are tightly intertwined interests. He loves to order new panties for me in every style, pattern, material, and color. I think I might own more now than I will ever wear. But still they roll in.

Thongs and cheeky styles that provide minimal coverage around back are his favorites. He says he loves how the fabric frames my target. But he’s not beyond an occasional change of pace. One fun kinky scenario involves caning me while I am wearing high-waisted white nylon full briefs.

Upon the arrival of each new shipment, he asks me to model for him. After my private runway performance, he “tests” my new panties by bouncing a paddle off the round parts they don’t cover. His test feels exactly like a spanking from my perspective, but who am I to argue with science?

Roz: Panties do play a role in spanking for us. Rick enjoys the view and tracing the outline. Then there is the moment they come down or off. So intimate and sensual.

KDPierre: Panties have been an occasional add-on over the years. We use them to enhance certain moods for a spanking, and since they are thong-backed, to act as a frilly frame for any post-spanking color. One thing that has gotten much easier, is being able to find and procure "pouch panties". Hell, we have gotten most of ours off of eBay. Easy-peasy. 

Jean Marie: I have strong feelings about panties. I love lingerie but not to wear in bed where they could be ruined; I save them for under slinky sexy gowns. (Agent Provocateur is my favorite brand.) I love plain white cotton panties with full coverage across the seat; I buy packages of cheap ones in bulk. I like to have these ripped right off me, before spanking, before sex. I do not like thongs! I floss my teeth not my ass crack. That is my two cents' worth. 

A.J.: "Do panties play a part in your spanking activities?"

Can't answer. I have never worn panties.

Oh! You mean HER!

I have read stories where she has to stand before the 'Lap of Justice™" and told to remove her panties before going OTK. Supposedly humiliating for her.

Not me.

I want her OTK with her panties still on (and maybe that's all she has on) for a minute or two as I get reacquainted with the target, and telling her what's about to come.

I TAKE HER PANTIES down! (Or off.) And I'm with Roz.

My favorite moment - hearing her suck in a little bit air as the gusset of her panties, reluctantly, springs free from her most personal parts. Her last bit of modesty gone, she's vulnerable. "It" is about to start. That little gasp from her - such sweet surrender. The baring of the bottom is the best moment.

Wendel: The Misses looks awesome wearing panties but they always come down for a spanking. It is quite a turn on watching her bottom being exposed. 

Prefectdt: I have never worn panties :) I do like being spanked through the layers until it becomes a bare bottom spanking. That includes over the tight boxer shorts that I prefer. I nearly always wear a boy thong during a beating, as, most interactions that I take part in are non-sexual, and it is very often appreciated that my boy bits are not on display whilst the posterior can still be bare.       

Barrel: Occasionally my wife makes me wear panties before a session. But they always come off before the thrashing begins. I do wear a protective cup fashioned like a skimpy thong to define the upper limit of the target and protect my parts from an errant lash of the single tail whip. 

Rosco: I am obsessed with panties and spanking both, but I’m the spankee and Irene the spanker wears the panties. (Ok I wear them sometimes)

I definitely appreciate my spankings most when Irene wears a skirt or dress with panties. Decades ago, she allowed me to select her panties. It’s weird to admit, but cotton is a bit of a turn off for me. I’ve got many brands for Irene, but mostly I go back to Olga 913. I love to play with her nether parts though panties before they’re removed for serious action.

I think the allure comes from peeking up skirts in the 7th grade in 1967-68 when skirts were super short. There’s a certain naughtiness on my part. If she’s wearing a skirts without panties that’d be naughtiness on her part which is not part of our role play.

To add a little more, I love to see pictures of female female spanking. I like the idea of a female top and I’d rather see that red round often plump female bottom. A spanking over pretty panties with a raised skirt has a sort of realism for me. I love it when the panties are a bit flimsy - not too small but they might get pulled up into the bottom crack a bit.

It’s common to see someone spanked over panties then having them pulled down then spanked some more. That’s fine, but I also like it if the panties stay up. If there’s frontal nudity one of my turnoffs is shaved public hair.

And since the US Open just ended, I’ve had fantasies about locker room spankings in tennis dresses involving both stars of today and yesteryear.   

Loki_Darksong: When it comes to spanking scenes, panties are a pleasant part of the package.

Not all spankings, whether that is a hand spanking or implements such as a strap or belt, a paddle, or a cane, have to be bare bottom to be effective. Granted there is a slight difficulty in regards to measuring the severity of the spanking if it's done over pansies. But all the more reason to be careful when doing so.

Of course there's also the artistic view of a woman's backside while receiving a spanking over panties due to all the various styles available to panties ranging from bikini to high cut to boy shorts to briefs as well as thongs and g-strings. And of course not to leave out the period piece ones such as the Victorian and Edwardian era bloomers.

Even to this day I find those very attractive on a woman. I have a few on the shopping list for my wife at present! 

Hermione: I am not allowed to have any protective covering on my bottom before or during a spanking. Ron wants my bottom bare and ready for his attention.
 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for September 7

What would you like to learn about spanking? What can you teach others?

 Bonnie: I like to learn through direct hands-on experience. In fact, I’m still learning.

Jack: Resisting, talking back, is not a good idea.

Rosco: Well, I had a few girlfriends here and there, but I never really felt comfortable being intimate until I started a relationship with Irene when I was 24. Discussing spanking, then engaging in it, happened pretty organically at the time.

I wish I’d understood myself better and was able to communicate with girls when I was much younger.

On the other hand, I remember leaving a small New Year’s Eve party when all my old friends had partners and I was single - they’ve all been divorced now and we’re going strong.

Roz: Always learning:) perhaps one lesson perhaps would be the important of aim and avoiding wrapping.

Red: I agree with Roz of the importance of aim and not wrapping. Wrapping with a long tawse hits the bone on the side of your body that has no padding, and not concentrating when spanking can have the end of a bath brush strike like a 2 by 4.

A.J.: What would you like to learn about spanking?

Nothing. Comfortable with what I know.

Is there something about spanking that you have learned the hard way, that you could teach others?

No. Not really. And not sure I would want to teach anyone anything re: spanking. Kinda' intimate to me.      

Prefectdt: What would you like to learn about spanking? 

I would like to know what is in it for the people who like to be the spanker. I do switch myself, although I would not describe myself as a switch, for me being a spanker is just a technical exercise in getting the spankee to the place they want to be in, but it is no great thrill for me. Even when I see an attractive butt under my lash, I am more concerned about what I am doing to that rear end than I am about how pretty it is. When receiving I can get a high that no external drugs could match, but cannot see what the spanker is getting out of it. It would be nice to find out what is in it for them.

Is there something about spanking that you have learned the hard way, that you could teach others?

Yes lots. Horticulturally I am a trained and experienced adult instructor and the skills learned from that have translated well to spanking scenarios. This has been useful when playing with inexperienced spankers. 

Wendel: I think we know enough to keep enjoying spanking. Always nice to read about other’s experiences. 

Hermione: I have learned a lot by watching spanking videos, especially what NOT to do. Videos are a lot of fun to watch and might help convince a reluctant partner to give it a try.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 30

From this brunch ten years ago, the options picked by my readers for most and least comfortable were:

1. Male spanker and female spankee - 7 / 0
2. Female spanker and male spankee - 3 / 1
3. Female spanker and female spankee - 6 / 0
4. Male spanker and male spankee - 1 / 6

Let's see how we fared this year.

Bonnie: I don’t think non-spankos will be comfortable with any of these permutations, except perhaps in a hanky spanky bedroom context. Accordingly, I think their spanko preferences, if they have any, will parallel their sexual preferences.

Spanky53: My experience is that Male Spanker/Female Spankee and and Female Spanker/Female Spankee are a tie. The hardest for Non-Spankos to accept is Male Spanker/Male Spankee. That being said my experience also has been that Spankos have a harder time accepting Male Spanker/ Male Spankee than Non-Spankos.

Graham: I have zero interest in M/M though I certainly don't mind if others are into it -- none of my business as long as it's consensual. I can't possibly know, but I suspect that most non-spankers would find M/M most difficult to understand. But, as noted above, they likely identify most easily with their own orientation.

Dan: I think Female Spanker/Male Spankee has a lot of negative connotations for some, including that the male in that situation is unmanly. Others have said, in response to your question, that Male/Male may be the hardest for some to understand or accept. I'm not sure that's true. I think they may not themselves gravitate to it, but that doesn't mean they can't understand it. There is a Male/Male spanking group I follow on Reddit and, honestly, I think there are more posts on it that I find similar to my DD spanking lifestyle than is the case with the other DD spanking groups, which are predominantly F/m. I've also found that those latter groups tend to be pretty uninviting to those of us in Female/male dynamics.

CEM: I think the majority of people would find M/f the most "normal" due to societal standards of males being dominant. But most people would probably find F/f the least "threatening" due to the presumption that it was a kink, fetish, two lesbians or whatever, but with the so called "patriarchal" aspect removed, and women being physically less strong, less potentially "abusive" and those other misguided notions. 

Roz: I'm not sure on this one but as noted above I'm not sure non-spankos would be comfortable with any of the above but may perhaps be able to understand their own orientation a little more. As also commented above I think perhaps M/M may be the most difficult.

Rosco: I’d guess people in my group would be more comfortable with fm than mf, since it’s less likely to be associated with abuse, and it’s fun!

Like many men, I don’t like much to think about what gay men do.

I love to look at pictures of women spanking. Best if they’re wearing a nice dress or sometimes lingerie. Ok if they’re angry or whimsical.

I’m mixed about seeing the victim. If it’s male it could be me. But I love to look at a round plump female bottom, sometimes still wearing panties.

Even though I might have been a spanker if my wife was willing, I don’t generally like to look at men doing the spanking. It makes me think of abuse. My mind knows it’s not, but I still tend not to look.

Prefectdt: I have to admit to having only limited experience of explaining TTWD to non-spankos. I agree with Graham above, though. Talking to them about F/m play does avoid a lot of preconceptions, that they might have about partnership abuse and manipulative behaviour. Giving us a chance to distinguish ourselves as consenting players, not to be grouped with abusers. In my limited experience, the hardest thing about to non-spankos is overcoming the misconceptions that they already have, ranging from spankos being abusers or victims of abusers to they gave/received a light patty cake spanking, as part of foreplay once. Making them think that they know all about it already.  

Red: Very difficult to say what non spankos think, as we have never talked to anyone about spanking who is not into the idea of spanking. Many would think it abusive, I imagine.
Maybe we should all be saying that we do not find spanking in any way abusive, and just as I am happy in a F/M situation, I know Ron and you are happy in a M/F relationship.
Meeting friends who are in the opposite spanking (M/F) situation might even have the man being reluctant to meet because of what he thinks the new couple are actually thinking.
We do not find spanking to be in any way abusive, but actually enhancing our love for each other.
Cindy has occasionally said she was wrong and should be spanked, and I have agreed by bending down and planting a firm kiss on each cheek, with the firm reminder that if the behavior was worse, it would be on her bare bottom. We both laugh afterwards, and the problem is solved. Every couple might try this just to have a laugh. Just do not tell your partner what you are going to do when saying you should be spanked for this.

KDPierre: I don't think it's possible to answer this question for "non-spankos" since they are as diverse a group in their thinking as spankos and therefore would lean in different directions depending on a lot of factors. Personally, however, as a spanko who has come out to plenty of non-spankos, I have found that me being a sub male who GETS spanked rather than doing the spanking, has amused and resonated more than if I came out and said that I spank my wife. My wife also has gotten more "you go, girl!" responses from non-spanko women that seem to support this trend as well. But our experience is skewed by the type of people we are comfortable coming out to. It is definitely not a random group where I would expect the responses might well be quite different. 

Wolfman7446: male spanker female spankee - feminine, soft, and lovely.

Hermione: As others have said, it's hard to see things from the non-spanko's point of view. But I think, since the advent of the Sixty Shades books, most non-spankos would be most comfortable with M/F.         

   

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 23

Would you let yourself be spanked by a stranger in order to help your partner get ahead? 

Robert: Well, since we're both retired this is a total fabrication, but I suppose if she thought it important enough and my wife asked/told me to take a spanking from a stranger, I hope (and think) I would say "Yes, ma'am. Where and when?"

I think it would make her proud of me to do so. I've never been spanked by anyone else, so it would be quite a step in our relationship!

Bonnie: My first thought is “how strange are they?”

I don’t know why anyone would even think that caning the employee’s naked wife was on the table. The story provides a rather unlikely rationale. I like the fantasy and I would enjoy a bigwig spanking role play with Randy. But in real life, I would have to respectfully pass. Only one man gets the privilege of spanking me. Any retribution would be met with a lawsuit.

Red: I love fantasy! However, I have actually been spanked by three different women with Cindy present, and quite enjoyed it. One was far too severe and left me badly bruised, one was absolute play with only a few real spanks, and the third wonderful woman is a friend of ours. Her spankings were not very hard, but more as strong play.. I have seen her spank much harder, when spanking her husband John.
In reality, if Cindy said that someone should spank me for real, i would say, yes dear, and permit it to happen.

Rosco: I can’t quite make this fantasy work.

But I’ve imagined any number of scenarios where Irene engages another woman to help keep me in line. Once we ran into Susan, the best friend of my high school girlfriend who didn’t seem to approve of me. When I introduced Irene to her, Susan made some sort of comment to the effect that she hoped I’d learned to treat women better. I imagined Irene replying that she had to be a little strict and bossy sometimes, leading to Susan asking questions, Irene telling her about my spankings and asking her if she like to participate.

Most of my fantasies start will real life encounters like this one - I have many and often replay them in my mind with the exact conversation.

Wendel: Nope.

Roz: While the fantasy is tantalising, in reality it would be a no. Spanking is purely between us.

Ronnie: Nope, spanking is just between the two of us. 

A.J.: Foolish scenario. Maybe it is the wife who should be doing the spanking

Fantasy-wise, if my boss was a cute female, and my "wife" was present - that might be fun.

Graham: Fun fantasy but can't imagine it happening in real life. For openers, way too many potential work place implications unless it was a 2-person company. 

Prefectdt: It is a fictitious scenario for me but here is what I would do. I would take the whooping but in a place where I could hide several cameras and sound recording devices, without the knowledge of my partner's boss. Then next time that the wicked work giver tries to be unfair in any way at all to my loved one, we would have a pretty little sword of Damocles, to dangle over their corrupt head.

Brett: I'd go up the chain or get a lawyer and see if we can remove this predator from his position.

Dan: I have kind of a thing for stories and memes that involve being coerced into taking a spanking. So, yes, I think I'd be game for it.

Hermione: The story was a fun read, but in real life it would be a red line never to be crossed.             

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 16

What is your experience with blindfolds, gags, earplugs or similar items?

Wendel: We tried having the spankee blindfolded and wearing noise canceling headphones playing “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies”. The Misses cried out much louder each time the paddle whacked her fanny. She said it seem more intense because the music relaxed her and then the surprise whack of the paddle produced endorphins, adrenalin or whatever chemicals the body makes to increase pleasure. When it was my turn I did not want her to stop. My bottom hurt so bad after that I could barely get my pants back on but the pleasure was well worth the pain.
Restraints? Bought a pair, tried it once and never used it again. We just did not like it. 

Barrel: We tried a blindfold and I didn’t care for it as I like to see what is coming before I feel it. Never used ear plugs, and won’t as I like to hear the “whurp” of the cane before it is administered. We do use a perforated ball gag occasionally to heighten the aura and when the caning will be extended or severe. Restraints are commonly used when we do a session. 

Roz: We have used restraints and blindfolds in the past. For me it definitely added to the experience and my other senses were on overdrive. We have never used earplugs or headphones.

Rosco: Blindfolds, gags and light bondage are usual components of our repertoire these days.

Irene will pull a (sometimes clean, sometimes not) pair of panties or a panty girdle over my head, the tie satin scarves over my eyes and mouth. She’ll tell me she’s tired of my sass and doesn’t want to hear a word from me.

She might strap me down on our massage table for a sound thrashing. Then she’ll put me down for a nap on my back with my wrists handcuffed to my thighs (being too enthusiastic with bondage has caused neck, back and shoulder pain).

Sometimes I’ll be required to give Irene an extended foot massage while blindfolded and gagged.

Oddly, I’ll drift off into an erotic slumber for half an hour or so then patiently wait to hear her footsteps when she returns to give me more attention. Irene will administer another thrashing, always with a lecture, before indulging in more traditional intimate activities.

Dan: We've never tried any kind of sensory restriction, and I doubt we would. As the recipient, I already have a very narrow focus on a single sensation during a spanking -- the sensation of the brush or paddle slamming into my butt. I think my wife gets more out of the other sensory inputs, particularly sounds. She has said she loves the sound of that paddle or strap striking.

CEM: Nope on all three...never would. 

Prefectdt: I have tried blindfolds and gags whilst on the receiving end. Always at the request of the person handing out the whups, not asked for by me. A blindfold and someone who knows how to direct the mind play are a combination that has often added positively to my experience. Gags, on the other hand, especially ball gags, have been for the benefit of the spanker, I just don't mind them. I am happy to be gagged, in the spirit of compromise, but it is more for the benefit of the other party in the interaction. Ear plugs and headphones do not appeal to me, at all, and I would take some convincing to try them out.

Bonnie: Sensory restriction can be either good or bad, depending upon the context. In a playful scene, blindfold spanking games, like guess the implement, can be fun. I have a problem with noise cancelling headphones because they can make a scene too intense for me. Likewise, I don’t like any gag that restricts my breathing. That’s a hard limit.

But if he wants to tie me up or tie me down, I’m all in for that spanking.

Red: Interesting ideas, but we have not ever tried any of these. The idea of guess the implement when blindfolded would possibly add another element of fun to the activity. Not hearing the stroke, and not knowing when it would happen, could be very intense. Another reason to buy noise cancelling headphones for travel on airplanes. 

Hermione: We have used restraints in the past, but after reading Gerald's Game, I'm not too eager for them. I wouldn't mind being blindfolded, but a ball gag is too creepy, even in photos. Headphones might be a possibility if I bought wireless ones.

      

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 9

What do you do if your spanking partner is away?

Bonnie: We’ve been fortunate to not have that problem, at least not for an extended time. Even when Randy was sick, he could still swing a light implement.

Robert: Recently, my wife was away for a "Girl's Weekend," including the day I usually receive my maintenance spanking. She isn't interested in me spanking myself, but she did have some "maintenance" tasks to remind me she's in charge even when away.
For example, I have one pair of nylon panties that are two sizes too small, usually worn on days when I'm to be spanked later. However, in this case, the first full day she was away, I was to wear those panties...uncomfortable all day, but a nice remind.
Other days, I was assigned corner time. It's odd standing in the house all by myself, pants and panties at my ankles for ten minutes, but it's what you do when your wife tells you to do so.
She made up for lost time when she got home and I went to bed with a VERY red bottom.

Wendel: Luckily the Misses has a job that is fully remote. If I leave for a project she will tag along. If I am only going only for a day or two and she does not join I will paddle or whip her bottom good so she has something to remember me by. 

When the Misses goes on a girls' night out excursion she is usually back the follow evening. Before leaving the Misses will give me a rather sound paddling to ensure I behave while she is away.

CEM: I just put everything for the future into the...spank bank. 😁
Sorry, couldn't resist. 😬

Roz: We have had occasions back in the day where we have been apart for a period of time. Regular communication which includes phrases like "you will" or "I want you to" help alongside regular checking in. In regards to spanking alternatives, things like chores, corner time (bleah lol), set bedtime. Of course these can be used whether together or apart.

Ronnie: P hasn’t been away for a long period so not had that problem. 

Rosco: We’re in the midst of a bit of a drought right now. Neither of us is away, but there are numerous distractions and anomalies in our schedules.

When Irene was away and I was missing the attention, I got into bed, pulled a pair of her panties over my face and listened to a Missjenndavis podcast as I drifted off into a nap.

Irene will be eager to reengage when we have an opportunity but that might not be for another 10 days - unless we find time this afternoon. Absence does my the heart grow fonder!

Red: Fortunately, we have almost never had extended periods apart from each other. More than 50 years of seeing each other almost every day. No wonder I need to be spanked at times. 

Prefectdt: My partner is never here, because I do not have one. However, there are often times when I cannot get spanked. During these times, self spanking, with various implements, does help me keep my rear end in condition, but is not at all satisfying. There is an EMS/TENS unit that I have found can give me a half hour electronic spanking, and that helps to keep me in mental balance.   

Hermione: Like others, we are together every day, and neither of us is away overnight, so there is no need to go without spankings.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 2

What is the longest time you have been without spanking?

Bonnie: Randy didn’t want to spank me when I was pregnant. He was worried for the safety of our baby. I got that concern, but I was less certain. There were zero spankings for many months. I can’t remember a time when I needed it more.

Even after our daughter was born, I had to convince him that beating my bottom would not affect my breast milk. In any case, the baby was fine and she now has her own college-age daughter.

Jack: I had messed up at a visit to a friend, we got home late, I knew what was to come, but my wife/mommy said nothing. The next morning I got up after she did, and took a shower. As I was stepping out of the shower she stood there, pointed to the front room, I had dried off and naked went to the front room. I was told to stand, and wait. It was a half hour and finally she took me over her lap and the bath brush was applied hard and fast. This is the longest time I can recall.  

Wendel: We both got the flu that lasted a week and 3 more days before we really felt good again. It was the longest we ever went without spanking each other. 

Donn: Well, so far I think I hold the record for longest period:

Discontinuation: Junior High School football coach was last person to swing a paddle for many years. That was back in 1972.

Resumption: My current wife was the next person, with one of her rubber straps. That was back in 2004.

I think that makes 32 years! (That's a "record" I never again want to come anywhere meeting!)  

Why so long?

Basically, I don't thing I'm really a "spanko." I don't have a spanking "kink" or "fetish."

I do, most certainly, have an empowered female fetish. I've know that for many years since roughly Junior High School. However, it was always felt and express in non-spanking ways.

Back in roughly 2002 I discovered the Disciplinary Wives Club website, which supercharged my  empowered female urges, and linked them to reality, with "Good Old-Fashioned Discipline" and all the accoutrements (mostly spanking and butt thrashing); so easy -- so natural - SO REAL!  

Roz: When we had a dd dynamic back in the day we used to have weekly maintenance so there was that anticipation every week. There were also a few occasions a spanking was 'due' but Rick was away so there may have been a wait of just over a week.

Prefectdt: It was back in the 90s, I gave up for nearly four years. The reason? I mistakenly thought that I could choose to be or not to be a spanko, and it was time to stop this childish thing. I was wrong. It was upon some heavily dropped hints from a psychologist that I ended up seeing on a regular basis, I took up getting spanked again and all became better.

  

A.J.: Twenty (20!) years? From the time I first knew spanking fascinated me as a young lad to the time my GF tricked me into spanking her. Does that count?

(Why? Because I believed that anyone who took pleasure in 'hitting' a woman was a perversion worthy of prison.)

Reversing laps...a year?

 

Dan: It's probably the period I'm in right now, in which it's been over three months; probably more like four at this point. It was the result of an injury that's going to take a while to heal. We had another period, two years ago, in which we went about three months. That too was medically related.

 

Red: Never really kept track of time between spankings. Spankings in the past usually went in spurts of two or three weeks without and then maybe three in the space of a week. We are now doing more often regularly, and if I feel stressed, I ask to be spanked. We are about to try twice a week to see how that works out. 

 

I am spanked while on vacation, and we do not worry of how thin the cabin walls on a cruise ship, nor in a hotel or airbnb. We will never meet the people again that are the opposite side of the wall. However, we do put music on to muffle the sound a bit, but our love-making creating an orgasm is much louder, and we do not muffle them. Neighbors can choose which they like best! 

 

Rosco: Irene has been spanking me consistently since 1980. The longest break during that time has probably been 3 weeks or so due to travel, houseguests etc. when the kids were growing up I came home for lunch, spankings and more.

Before 1980, the only successful spanking was in 1969 which I administered just prior to my first French kiss.

 

Fondles: I think we're down to maybe a handful of spankings a year now. It's hard when there are people in the house! Those waffles looked delicious! (It's the other thing I'm weak for besides scones!)      

Hermione: The longest we have gone without spanking is 18 months. We adopted a rescue dog who hadn't been crated in years and objected to being incarcerated while we were still obviously in the house and he was missing all the fun. He made such a fuss that we eliminated spanking from our bedroom activities until Ron got access to an apartment after a family member had vacated it. We enjoyed spanking for three Sundays in a row, realized how much we had missed it, then resolved to either put up with the dog's fuss or rent a motel room. By then the dog was used to being crated and didn't make a peep.

More recently, Ron had minor health issues that put spanking on the back burner for three weeks. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 26

Sports and spanking. How do you combine them?

Bonnie: My dear husband has a hundred permutations of the “Oops, you lose, now bend over” game. They all end more or less the same way. Card games, board games, sporting contests, dice, wagers on future events - my poor butt always eventually pays the price.

Now I appreciate a good spanking as much as the next gal, but it doesn’t seem fair that even when I win, l still end up over his lap. He offers to skip the paddle if I win, but that doesn’t seem quite right either. I want him to take me out for a nice dinner or go with me to an arts fair or a bookstore. If he did that, I wouldn’t mind all those spankings.

Wendel: Just like Bonnie we can convert any game into a loser gets spanked game. Big difference is that we spank each other, so the loser really does get the spanking. 

Anon: Ditto. Card games, word games, ping pong, pool, etc.

Rosco: I would probably do this kind of thing, but Irene likes to be spontaneous.

We did play a memorable (suggestive to me) game of ping pong in 1979, having snuck away from our erstwhile partners at a party. We got together 6 months later, and she’s been spanking me ever since.

Roz: There may have been a few light-hearted wagers over the years but it hasn't seriously been part of our spanking activities.     

Prefectdt: Can't really think of any vanilla games that have been played in my spankings. I used to know one pay to play Top who used to incorporate mind games into the play. She had me so confused once that the first thing I did, when I got back in the real world, was to buy a newspaper (pre smartphone era) to find out what day of the week it was. I have never really thought about actual physical games to include during a spanking. Something new to consider. 

KDPierre: We have a set of spank-oriented 'tournament rules' for our occasional private games of 8-ball. Needless to say they are ridiculously slanted in Rosa's favor and result in literally hundreds of smacks being delivered to me over the course of the games and after (depending on how well I play). 

Hermione: Ron is a big football fan, so when his team loses, I get spanked. Of course, when his team wins, I get a celebratory spanking.  

Red: Never incorporated anything with spanking . (no sports, or activities). Guess we are a little bland. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 19

First of all, I want to thank my readers for their concern regarding the horrendous forest fires here in Canada. Please be assured that we are well away from the actual fires, although the air has been pea soup thick for a couple of days. Unfortunately, a certain president has decided that our fires are a good reason to implement yet more tariffs on all our goods imported by the US. Go figure! Anyway, let's move on.

 

How do you protect your devices from prying eyes?

 

CEM: Someone would have to literally break into my home, and/or hack into my PC to be able to see anything so, I'm not that worried about it. 

 

Dan: I don't do much to secure that kind of material from prying eyes, separate and apart from what I use to protect everything else. My laptop is where I keep almost all such material, and it requires a password or fingerprint access to open.That's really about it. If someone were to get access to my laptop, it would be very easy to stumble on spanking-related material without looking very hard. One browser almost always has tabs open for my blog and the Google mailbox my blogging profile is registered under. There's also a tab open for my Tumblr account, where many of the things I follow are spanking-related.

In addition to my fairly casual approach to guarding my electronic spanking trail, if anyone looked in my bedroom or office closet, they'd find spanking instruments or spanking-related material, and I have a package of old Disciplinary Wives Club videos that I received from one of the co-founders.

So, it wouldn't be hard to find myself "outed" if someone did get a look at my computer or my personal space at home. If that were to happen, at this point I think I would just own up to it and shrug it off. That is a big change from when we started 20+ years ago. Back then, I was very paranoid about anyone learning about this aspect of our relationship. I kept all our spanking instruments, and anything else that was kinky in nature, in a locked trunk, and I did things like posting to my blog only from the Tor browser. Honestly, it was overkill, and I'm at an age where being "outed" would have no impact on anything important, so why worry about it?

 

Jack: The only devise that has such picture is my wife/mommy phone. She has a picture of me facing the wall, with a well spanked bottom. She said she has the picture to remind me to behave and she has shown a few close friends and of course her Mother. To me it is a continuation of the punishment for being naughty, knowing others have seen and worse knowing that my wife/mommy wears the pants in the family.

 

Rosco: Most of my salacious browsing etc. is on my iPad. No one else uses it, but I do usually clear history etc before visiting my kids and older grandchildren. I have a few telling files that are unlikely to be accidentally found.

I have a few things I’ve written on my computer but again they are in folder that nobody would likely stumble onto.

I did get a virus a few years ago and told the tech guy that I’d gotten it at an adult site. I wasn’t embarrassed and figure that happens often.

Again, it’s my kids and grandchildren that I worry about in this regard.

My wife Irene has her own different ways of finding titillation on the internet.

 

Roz: To be honest, I don't do anything above what I do to protect anything anything else. Password and pin protection on my phone and tablet. There is very little chance of anyone else accessing my devices. If anyone should however stumble across something I really don't know what I would say.

 

Red: My computer is password protected, and I rarely have it on when people are in the house. I always watch it turn in sleep mode so a password is needed to get in. The spanking information I have on the computer are buried deep within folders,but now Internet Explorer keeps bringing up files you saved recently. As I am the one that is spanked, I have less fear of us being outed in any way by my computer.

 

Prefectdt: I cannot say that I am too bothered about people seeing the stuff on my computer. I came out years ago and only one person, in my vanilla circle, believed me. Apparently I am not the type. So if any adult saw my stuff, it might help me to be believed. I would not want any children seeing what is on my computer, but there are two codes to keep them out.

 

Wendel: We have one computer that is used for spanking related stuff and nothing else. Personal business, regular surfing and such is done on other computers. The hard drive is encrypted and cannot be accessed if taken out of the computer. The screen locks after 30 seconds of inactivity so there is little chance of anyone seeing anything. 

 

Robert: My wife and I live alone and our computers never leave the house, so we're okay with that. But it's probably important to share that I can only visit sites, blogs, and the like which my wife has pre-approved. When I discovered this one, for example, I immediately sent her the link and asked if I could please visit here regularly. She read it over and, obviously, gave me a thumbs up.

She will look through my browser every week or so (I'm not allowed to clear memory unless I've been banking) and if there's a naughty site I've not been given permission to see, down go my pants/panties and out comes the paddle.

 

Hermione: Like Dan, I am less concerned about being outed now than I was years ago when I was working in an office. We use a desktop computer for our daily activities, and I keep a separate browser just for blogging. Since it's only the two of us, it is not password protected. Our grandchildren are not allowed in the room where it resides. I also have spanking sites on my iPad, which I put away if we have visitors.

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine