Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Coffee, Tea or Me?

Our good friend Boru has been scouring the interwebs for gifts for that special spanko someone, and he's scored another hit with this mug. Personalize it any way you want here.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, February 26, 2024

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 25

Do you have any positions that are a hard "No"?

Anon: Nope. No limit on position or safe. There are some I would prefer not be in, but wife's decision not mine.

Sage: It's not a hard limit. But we do almost nothing else except that OTK position where my partner sits at the head of the bed and my head and legs are comfortable and supported--and my butt is raised over a pillow that's on his lap. We don't do other positions much, except wheelbarrow a little bit, with my head supported on a pillow on the bed between his calves. We've tried other positions, but that OTK one where I am spread out on the bed feels best. Since this is all foreplay to my dear vanilla partner, he does it the way I am most comfortable. And I have a totally hedonistic attitude toward spanking. 

Oh, it's not just the comfort for arms and legs here that makes this {OTK at the head of the bed} position luxurious. It's the skin on skin contact for both of us, since we wear no clothes when he spanks me.  

Something I don't understand. In spanking story blogs, it sounds like punishment and even funishment spanking people are really into embarrassment and humiliation as part of the punishment. So if a position is embarrassing, wouldn't you do it more? I don't get embarrassed by any position myself. I either feel comfy or not.

Roz: No hard limits as such, in general we stick to a few favourites. However there are a few I don't think I would like, such as the diaper position (which we have used on the rare occasion).

Bonnie: Not really, but sort of. My hard limits are positions that make my back or knees hurt. That's a bad kind of pain.

Embarrassment is never a concern for Randy. He takes great glee in caning me in the diaper position or paddling me while bent over. He knows this is not what I like and that it always hurts intensely. But at our house, this is how spankings work.

Luvinhub: When my wife was punishing me there was no limits. We did not have many positions that were used; the go to as Sage mentioned was on the bed over her lap, I think that was for both of our comfort as well as the intimacy of our bodies touching. Other positions was bent over the bed standing when she had pulled out a wooden spoon in the kitchen. If she had decided on any other position I would have obediently gotten into that position. 

Jack: My wife/mommy from the first spanking, over her lap is the only way I'm spanked. She feels it adds to the spanking, it makes the one getting the spanking to have no control and feel like a child. Also over her lap there is no way I can escape the spanking, I'm totally under her control and that insures that the spanking last as long as she feels needed and I learn to be a good little boy. 

Wendel: We want to be comfy before getting our butts whacked repeatedly with a paddle or belt, so we stick to pretty basic positions. 

Prefectdt: Not so much hard limits, but more preferences not to, are diaper and lunge. Mostly because you have to concentrate so much on holding these positions that you cannot enjoy the spanking.

Only real hard limit, position wise, is kneeling on hard surfaces. This is because I have had three operations on one knee and do not want to risk having any more.

Welcome back, dear friend!

Rosco: Irene likes room to take a full swing with a paddle, crop, whip, strap or switch, so we never do OTK.

I like to be comfortable so I can appreciate the spanking. I recently bought a “pouf” that I can kneel on while putting my chest on the bed. It works pretty well.

Irene sometimes instructs me to spread my legs which leaves my balls in a more vulnerable position. She likes to smack those as well, but does so more gently. But if a stroke intended for my bottom misses it can really hurt - and detract from the fun of it all.

Irene also likes to tie me up in different ways. As long as it doesn’t stress my back or neck, it’s all fun. She’s promised me a spanking today.

KDPierre: Depending on the circumstances I don't think so. I mean unless some position is downright ridiculous, which then would be pretty unlikely to surface, it doesn't seem too receptive to have a Top order a position and then say, "Nah, I don't like that one."

But the point is pretty moot in that we have our usual ones that seem best suited to certain situations and we tend towards just using what works. As for rejecting a position based solely on its embarrassment factor? Um...really? Is that actually a thing? LOL

Mark: We don't have hard limits but we definitely have preferred positions depending upon what implement is being used. I like being paddled over my wife's knee (especially with her holding my wrist behind my back) mostly because of the contact. She however prefers to have me over a bolster where she can get a better swing - part of why it's not my preference!
As per other's comments, I'm also not really embarrassed so that's not a factor. I like wheelbarrow (smaller swing and body contact) but my wife didn't take to it. We've never tried diaper.

Hermione: I love the idea of OTK with Ron sitting on a chair and me draped over his lap, but in reality, it's not at all comfortable. I would gladly submit to any position Ron chooses, but he's happy to stick to the tried and true one with me bent over the end of the bed. I wouldn't care for being made to kneel as my knees aren't padded or very bendable any more.

That was a wild ride! And thank you to Sage Blum, who has given me an idea for next week's question. See you then!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #528

Just when I thought spring was coming, we were plunged back into the deep freeze of winter overnight. Oh well, March isn't far away, and in the meantime I will have to settle for some good old-fashioned seat warming. I'm up for pretty much anything, however I do have some hard limits. How about you?

Do you or your partner have hard limits in terms of spanking positions?  Are there some that are too embarrassing to be used?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for this week's topic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, February 23, 2024

You Completed the Caption

There's the original caption, and I admit I had to look closely before I understood it. Our dogs go nuts for the red dot too.

Now let's see what you came up with.

Anon 1: Spanking 101: Alright, gentlemen, let's start with the basics. This is what you're supposed to spank.

KDPierre: Cat thinking: "I know what ONE set of instincts is telling me to do...but why does ANOTHER set keep telling me I'm being set up?"

Roz: Target sighted.

Simon: The cat is thinking "if I wait a while that'll be a lovely warm place to sit".

Sage: How to entice your partner to spank you.

(Now I see the red dot.) How I became an incel.

Graham: Such a peachy perfect bottom and here I am stuck in a chastity cage! 

(PS: hope mentioning that as a fantasy isn't out of bounds.)

Not at all!

Donn: "Which 'Pussy' is going to jump higher when the cat sinks its claws into the laser-dot?"

Wendel: Neighbor: That’s interesting. The Smith’s have a dog now. 

 Rosco: After the paddling, Louise not only couldn’t sit - she couldn’t even bear the thought of putting on panties.

That was fun! I see I wasn't the only one to miss the red dot.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Complete the Caption

We haven't played complete the caption for quite a while, but when Boru sent me this pic, I knew it was time to renew the tradition.

I invite you to be creative and add a caption to this photo. I'll reveal the actual caption that came with it once you've had a go.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, February 19, 2024

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 18

This week we discussed physiological changes that result from a spanking.

Wendel: When I spank the Misses by hand the palm of my hand is usually red and my heart rate becomes elevated from the excitement of seeing her bottom turn red. During a whipping with the belt the Misses will break out in a sweat and eventually get tears in the eyes. For both of us we also love to have lasting marks. Depending on what we get spanked with the marks may last for at least week. Just an extra reminder of the love we have for each other. 

Roz: Heart rate and breathing rate increase plus a rise in body temperature (not just my bottom). I also sometimes end up feeling a little physically weak briefly afterwards and have been known to get the shakes briefly afterwards also. 

Bonnie: Do screaming and kicking count as physiological changes? If so, there's definitely that.

I also experience rapid breathing, accelerated heart rate, flushed face, perspiration, raspy voice, and sexual arousal.

Sometimes, there are also some residual marks at the points of contact. Later, I may experience an ache, a sunburn-like sensation, or itching.

Barrel: From the thrashing I received yesterday, I have vivid recollection of rapid, heavy breathing, almost to the point of hyperventilating. I sweat and drool on the towel under my head. I tried to kick my feet but the Velcro straps held firmly. Like Roz, I was very uneasy on my feet when I stood up off the bench and needed to hold onto a table for a few minutes. After I sat down, I shook for about 5 minutes. I haven’t looked at my backside but I am sure I have lines from the cane, red spots from the tawse and a bruise or three from the hairbrush. But I deserved everything I got which was the hardest punishment I have ever received. 

Sage: At the time I have the rapid breathing, accelerated heart rate etc. and more of my natural lubrication that I had ever thought possible.

Overall: I sleep more soundly. Am calmer, which is probably related to a decrease in stress hormones. Jillian Keenan on Youtube mentioned the "white noise" of frustration disappearing, once one is no longer frustrated. That's happened to me.

I used to have a nervous stomach and trouble digesting food. Now I have a calm stomach and may have to start watching my diet so I don't gain too much weight. Which isn't a problem, because I can just eat when hungry. I don't need to overeat to deal with stress when we have the famous Vermont Country Store stress releaser AKA bath brush AKA pervertible.

My eyes and skin have lit up, my partner says. He looks more lit up too. Maybe not from spanking me, as he's vanilla & it's just foreplay to him. But he's getting more sex and more Ben & Jerry's (as Hermione so discreetly refers to it) now that we do more "foreplay." He's happy.

I do feel the itching and sunburn like sensation. But I can't have marks. My partner would have a cow if he left marks on me. I'm careful which implements I buy. And I keep checking my butt every 30 minutes or so after he spanks me. As soon as the redness disappears, I show him and announce "See. I'm fine. You didn't injure me. It was just the blood rising to the surface temporarily."

I can't take credit for Ben & Jerry's but I love it!

Jack: My wife/mommy insures my bottom is very, very warm, stinging, and a nice shade of red. I squirm and kick a lot as the spanking takes effect. I feel relieved, hard to explain, but my wife says my make up needs a spanking, and not just a playful spanking.

Luvinhub: For me I would agree with the majority of everyone posted, so far; heavier breathing, faster heart rate, and sweating. Often as the spanking gets intense I thrash about trying to avoid being spanked in the same area. I often have an erection or semi-erection before I am punished, that changes drastically as I completely lose my erection and shrivel to very small. The last portion is my body relaxes and accepts the punishment once I fully submit to the punishment and stop fighting it.

Rosco: It’s oddly relaxing - or maybe that’s not so odd.

Irene will often paddle or whip me with substantial intensity, then leave the room for twenty minutes or even up to an hour. Sometimes I’ll be tied up. As she leaves, Irene will tell me she’ll be back and not to move and to behave.

I’ll often take a wonderfully relaxing nap, then be ready for more of whatever when she returns.

Ronnie: Like others, rapid heart rate, raised body temperature, flushed face and sometimes a little shaky after.

Hermione: What Ronnie said.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #527

My goodness, how the week has flown by. I've been finishing up a project I was responsible for, and it's not been easy. It was a volunteer position, and I was happy to do it, until this year. A complete departure of all experienced members of the group left me struggling with newbies who had no idea of how things worked, so they all did their own thing in various ways. The frustration I felt left me with no alternative but to say that I was resigning. It feels good:)

Now for a little stress relief:

We expect that spankings produce a red, sore, hot bottom.  What other physiological changes do you observe?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for this week's topic.

 Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, February 12, 2024

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 11

Do you have a fantasy spanking implement that you would like to try?

Loki_Darksong: The Louisiana Prison Strap.

A three foot long, four inch wide, three eighth of an inch thick piece of leather with a wooden handle. I had seen one in person many years ago at a party. But while I was tempted to see how it would feel like I, regretfully, chickened out of asking for a session with it. Although if I had been asked I more than likely would have said yes. 

Roz: Great question! Fantasy implement? I'm not sure,but definitely leather. Hmm, perhaps a strap?

Norse Cavalier: I've always wanted to buy a proper cane, of the kind used in schools. Most canes online are shorter and don't have a hook. I usually prefer OTK spankings, usually with my hand, but I'd like to try giving a woman a proper caning at least once.

KDPierre: A "fantasy implement"? I guess it would have to be a Dr. Seuss "newer and neater, stingy Who-thingy, wacky bun-beater" which is essentially a kind of spanking machine that the naked victim (I guess, me, LOL) is secured to with their bare butt suspended just above thick leather paddles on a large paddle wheel powered by a bunch of strong-legged Who's who scamper inside the wheel like overgrown hamsters, turning it so that an endless barrage of whacks slam into your (my) bottom over and over. To make it really fun, I think it would be extra embarrassing for the victim (again likely me) to "dance with jing-tinglers tied onto their heels" which in this case would be oversized bells that ring as one can't help but kick from the pain. And it would probably be very entertaining to anyone watching. And just think: you'd have the sound of the Who's giggling, the squeak of the wheel turning, the loud smacks of the paddles rhythmically slapping against the bare flesh, the jing-tinglers ringing, and no doubt the honest yelps of the victim (still me) reacting to the ever-growing bottom-burn. As the Grinch lamented, "Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!"

Barrel: A dressage whip. They seem so thin and whippy. And I bet the resulting impact delivers quite a precise sting. It’s probably a good thing we don’t have one, as our toys travel with us from summer to winter houses and I’m not sure how I might hide it.

Interesting topic this week. Thanks.

Rosco: Well, it’s amazing how many interesting questions there are.

Irene and I have tried quite a few, and she mainly uses three while a handful of others languish in our lockable box. A fair amount of art and science has lead to the two tailed leather strap, a leather paddle and a riding crop. All produce an intense but not severe sting, and are gratifying for her to swing and she is able to hold on ok with her mildly arthritic hands. She also likes the noise, so uses the riding crop maybe a bit less.

It’s hard to find a good switch in nature in these parts, but sometimes I’ll spot a shoot from a wild plum tree in late spring. We also once had a birch, purchased from Cane-iac, that I’d soak before using. It was exquisite but eventually fell apart. I wonder if it’s still available.

Not exactly an implement, but I’d like to try a spanking bench. Irene often ties me up before discipline, but I like to be tied securely. Also, it would be ideal to have a cradle for my head so there is no pressure on my neck. Yes, I like to be comfortable when I’m being punished.

Wendel: I asked The Misses and we both agree that a Rube Goldberg style spanking machine would be cool to try. Once turned on it goes through thirty steps to bend The Misses over and pull down her pants. After rounding a corner and popping up toast there is another thirty steps to pull her panties down. The machine turns her bare bottom outward to present it along a long corridor to the paddle. Finally she gets lined up for the paddle. Each swat takes 20 steps which gives The Misses time to enjoy the sting of the paddle. The number of steps is controlled by me by filling a hopper with marbles. One marble equals one whack. Maybe a couple bags worth. After a sound paddling the machine fries an egg, spills orange juice and moves The Misses to the presentation area where her sore bottom is presented through an antique picture frame in the gallery for 15 minutes. 

Finally, it is my turn.

Bonnie: I once saw a teardrop shaped wooden paddle on the internet that had a rounded convex surface on one side and a concave surface on the other. I might not like the experience of being spanked with that thing, but I was intrigued. The convex surface directs the same force over a smaller strike area. It would be like a bath brush, only heavier. The concave side would have the opposite effect. Its inward curve would spread each swat over a wider area.

Maybe I'm nuts, but I would be willing to try both sides, you know, just for the experience.

Rene: I would like to be spanked with a carpet beater. It would cover a large area and since it is not solid unlike a paddle would land hard. I had made a small one once but my Auntie lost it during a move. Too bad.

Mark: Mine are the carpet beater and a longer cane. We have a cane that my wife is very skilled at using but ideally would be slightly (6"?) longer.
I have wondered what a carpet beater could feel like - pretty unique I would think.

appleTom: The one that I fantasize about is the tawse, 2 or three tails medium or super thick, (I'm unsure which would be "best").

Once at a SCONY weekend, I got 8 with a razor strop. That caused explosions of lights in my eyes. Since my play encounters have been few and far between, they never really got me to a state of, "OMG I can't take this", at most I got "this is neat, can't believe this I'm taking this so well". It might take a few applications, but my suspicion that a tawse could get me there.

Graham: I've yet to experience a carpet beater or a good switch. I'd love to be in a remote cabin and have my wife send me out to the forest to bring back a bundle of switches. Might happen some day!

Ronnie: Maybe a spanking machine. It would be fun, I think.

Hermione: How about a light sabre? 

Luvinhub: A little late replying...
My fanatasy implement which while fantasy I do believe I would regret having experienced. The first would be a switch. We ride bicycles on rail trails often through wooded areas. The fantasy is that for whatever reason my wife deems that I need to punished while out for our ride. She uses what is available, a switch. So off of the side of the trail she has me lower my bike shorts and punishes me right there. Who might hear the howling. The other would be a cane.

I've experienced several of the implements that some of you have yet to enjoy, so I guess I'm pretty lucky!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Saturday, February 10, 2024

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #526

Welcome back, dear friends old and new. Many of us experienced spankos have an arsenal of implements at our disposal, while newer spankos might have just one or two weapons of ass destruction. But there's always room for one more.

Do you or your partner have a fantasy spanking implement that you have always wanted to try?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for yet another fine topic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Another Gift Idea

Here's another Valentine best-seller, sent to me by a faithful reader. Thank you, S!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, February 5, 2024

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 4

Have you ever used a timer for your spankings?

Sage: I've never had timed spankings. Mine are between half and hour and an hour. But most of it is vanilla activities. But all erotic pleasure activities, including the spanking. So far, at the end he says "Had enough?" and I say "No, I'm, insatiable. Just stop when you are tired." Looking forward to hearing from people who do time them. 

BTW, I learned from your blog about riding crops. That one is a keeper. I return some of the implements back to Amazon because I can't feel anything from them, but not this one. Thank you.

Rosco: Seems a little contrived and there’s no way Irene would want to do it. Sometimes I’ll count strokes to myself, but that’s never been part of our thing.

Most of our sessions (at least those that precede sex) are three spanking separated by about 30 minutes. Sometimes they’re fairly short, sometimes they go on and on. Our “code” (if I want more) is to complain. But pretty much Irene decides how long and hard to whip and paddle me based on her feeling at the time.

Wendel: We tried timed spankings. First was 5 minutes and the second was 10 minutes. Once the buzzer went off the spanking was over. The problem was that to get the most out of it the spanker had to spank nonstop. The arm would get tired from swinging a paddle or belt and that took away from the overall enjoyment. The spankee of course would enjoy the nonstop beating and extremely sore bottom but then it abruptly ended. We have not timed a spanking since. It is more thrilling not knowing when the end is coming.

Chronic: Not my sort of thing. For me, they are spontaneous for the most part. The length, duration, intensity, plus a myriad of other factors are decided at the time, so nothing is really structured. 

Roz: We have never tried timed spankings. The intensity, implements and length of spanking is entirely dictated in the moment by Rick. I think the fact I don't know adds to the experience for me. 

Norse: In the past, I've delivered timed punishment spankings to a spankee of my acquaintance. First a (non-timed) warm-up with my hand, then one minute hard, fast spanking with my clothes brush. Usually, she's allowed to watch the timer while it's ticking away - but if she's been REALLY bad, she doesn't get that. She thinks it's much worse when she's over my knee, squirming and yelping while the brush slams down, if she doesn't know how much time is left. It's led to some remarkable improvements in her behaviour.

For non-punishment spankings, it's better without a timer.

Jack: The only timed part of my spanking is how much time I spend facing the wall. My spankings are never the same, wife/mommy spankings last as long as she decides and for what the spanking is for.

KDPierre: The only time I used a timed spanking was as a part of a bet back many years ago, and for that purpose it worked. For us now it would not work since the main issue I have with spanking is if it is too fast. (My heart races and it can get a little scary.) If this happens, I just let Rosa know and she lets me catch my breath. Neither of us see this as an impediment to the purpose of the spanking though, since it doesn't mean stopping it nor going easier, just possibly slower and with an occasional pause for breathing. [Breathing is good.] LOL)

I truly believe a timed spanking now would just be stressful and serve no useful purpose. (What possible benefit does the limitation of time serve? Isn't the mood, level of guilt release, and even condition of the butt being spanked all more useful metrics?) We much prefer a certain number, which as I have said before is still open to amendment upwards if either of us feel it necessary to achieve that spanking's goal. So no timing here. ;-)

Bonnie: Yes, we do timed spankings. However much I think in advance that it's going to hurt, the reality is always worse. My dear paddle-wielding husband takes this exercise as a challenge. He pulls me over his lap and strikes my bare bottom as fast and forcefully as he can using a serious wooden spanking implement. Unimpressed by my screeches of protest and pain, he continues full speed and full power until the final buzzer. In this scenario, just two minutes can feel like two hours.

It's fun afterward to show my vivid marks to the camera and feeling that dull ouch whenever I sit the next day. But while it's happening, the shocking rush of intense punishment can be overwhelming. It's always more than I think I want.

Note to self: Remember how this feels before you agree next time.

Barrel: We have done it once, on my 60th birthday. 6 minutes with her hand, 6 minutes with the hairbrush and 6 minutes with the plastic paddle. Then I got 6 sets of 6 with the cane. A memorable birthday. As I creep to 70, we will need to think if there is a repeat or a different twist with 7’s.

Sage: Norse Cavalier, that makes me realize that there are all kinds of possibilities with spankos. Even if one doesn't have a partner, I guess they can meet someone at their local spanking club to get together in a limited way for agreed upon purposes like punishment spankings to improve certain behaviors--even if the person is the wrong age range or otherwise incompatible for a romantic relationship. The world of spankos is varied and interesting. 

Loki_Darksong: I find that timed spankings are very useful depending on the type of spanking scenes they are set up for whether that is for fun or punishment or even seeing how far you can go with a particular implement or implements.

Hermione: I once bought an egg timer that I thought would add interest for a timed spanking. Unfortunately, five minutes wasn't nearly long enough, so the timer is now just an ornament.  But it was fun to watch the sand trickle down, and it added to the enjoyment at the time.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, February 4, 2024

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #525

Welcome to our regular weekend get-together. After our mid-week discussion with KDPierre, I hope you are ready for another chance to talk about our favourite percussive activity.

What do you think about timed spankings?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for the topic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Better Late than Never

I want to share with you a letter I received from our good friend KDPierre on the subject of this brunch on punishment and DD.

Dear Hermione:
I had a feeling this would happen, and it did. After I sent you the DD topic, Rosa and I went on vacation for over two weeks. I therefore missed my own topic! I had a response planned and I was wondering if you’d be willing to post it as maybe a mid-week post? (Peru was great by the way)

As someone who engages in both play and serious spankings, it is crucial to the DD element that it be different. After all, how effective can a punishment be if the miscreant enjoys it? For me there are many things that differentiate the two but the main one comes down to the fact that Rosa has always made it very clear that she sees her authority as both genuine and pretty much a given. She says our roles suit our natures so well that living this way is just…natural. She does not see my obedience as a gift, or a concession, or anything other than an expected consequence of us being us. And throughout all of it, her authority always revolves around ensuring reasonable domestic harmony rather than bullied selfishness which makes our DD more about her making me the best ‘me’ and not a fawning slave.

However, on a tangible basis, what makes a punishment spanking clearly disciplinary are a few key things Rosa does when she is serious:

1: First off: she tells me so at the time she decides a spanking is deserved, and then proceeds to seriously lecture me on what I did or didn’t do that earned the punishment. This lecture happens while I am over her lap and can take up to twenty minutes before the first swat lands and can be quite emotional. Then during, she might ask me about my intentions for how I intend to behave in the future.

2: She is not reluctant to make it hurt. I have a high pain threshold and my ‘play’ spankings can be quite severe, so when it’s serious, obviously things can’t go gently. Rosa is a very caring person, especially with me, so it says something about her commitment to effective discipline when she spanks hard, long, and especially when she decrees a second or third installment and then spanks just as hard, even though she knows my butt is sore and the follow-up spanking is hurting mightily. She has told me that she knows these sequential spankings hurt a lot since she can see my honest reactions to them, but she has also said that she knows that the extra spanking isn’t doing any serious extra damage; it just hurts more, so she feels that if what I did earned a spanking that had to be broken down into sequential installments, that’s on me and my behavior, and not on her to go easier. When she does this I know I am being disciplined and not played with.

3: We are ‘out’ to most family and friends and have been for many years. As such, behavior that crosses a line with Rosa may well result in me being warned to behave in front of others in the know who are receptive. Rosa would never make someone else uncomfortable, but if she knows the person or people present are on board with how we live, she will not hesitate to address my behavior publicly. 

4: The goal for better behavior on my part is mutual. And while Rosa is the sole disciplinarian in our relationship, I too can play a part in my own discipline by confessing shortcomings to her and even asking for correction. Rosa expects this level of honesty from me and understands how discipline affects me positively rather than negatively. So if I confess something, she will ask me in detail what bothers me about what I did and why. It is then highly likely that she will take my confession seriously and spank me just as if she herself had caught me misbehaving.

5: Amounts. A punishment can literally be hundreds of swats. That's why they sometimes need to be a series of sequential punishments rather than one long one. But while amounts are usually decreed beforehand, Rosa has no problem changing her mind if she feels the decreed spanking isn't quite enough. And she will simply say so. As for me? I too can amend upwards in the case of extreme guilt. The bottom line is neither of us will walk away from a spanking feeling unresolved, no matter how many spanks that takes.
6: Apologies. Apologies are a huge part of what separates fun from the serious. (I doubt anyone apologizes during a sexy spanking. LOL) But in the case of misbehavior, apologies are expected beforehand, and after. (The ones that instinctively pour forth once the paddle starts landing over and over are taken as in-the-moment pleas rather than sincere apologies, which they kind of are.) In the case where the spanking is for behavior that also affected someone else, or is entirely due to my behavior toward someone else, I am expected to apologize to them formally at some point after the spanking. If the offended party is among those in the pretty large circle of folks in the know, it is highly likely that my apology will be followed by an embarrassing admission of how my behavior was addressed. Several friends and family members have been informed that I was spanked good and hard for whatever I did to them and not one has ever said, “Oh that wasn’t necessary.” Several instead, have actually said, “Good.”

7: Depending on the nature of the issue, a spanking can lead to sexual fulfillment for her, but not usually. For me however, there is no sex following a punishment. Therefore there is no confusion as to what transpired.

8: Punishments require reconnection afterwards much more than play. For Rosa this means me showing her there is no resentment on my part and I demonstrate this by thanking her for the spanking and kissing her feet after I get up from her lap. It’s a brief simple gesture, but it speaks volumes in terms of feedback.

9: Lastly, Rosa has told me countless times that spanking is not just for me to experience consequences for misbehavior. It is also therapeutic for her. She feels like spanking me lets her rid herself of anger and resentment, just as it teaches me a lesson while purging my feelings of guilt. Rather than feeling frustrated, powerless and resentful, she feels empowered and able to take out her anger in a constructive way, even if it is a painful way for me. To her that is as it should be and I can’t help but see her point. It just makes sense. Therefore it is cathartic for us both in different but equally positive ways.

So that’s what it’s like to do DD. It’s not for everyone. But for those of us who benefit from it, there is very little else that works as well on so many levels and I am grateful to be in such a relationship.

All the best!---KDP

Thank you, KDPierre, for this description of your DD dynamic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart