Complete the Caption

These two gentlemen are deep in conversation. Do you suppose the topic is the elegant lady who just passed by?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your speculations in the next post.

Friday FAIL

In some ways, I believe these are FAILs. Some of you may think of them as WINs. In either case, enjoy!

Oh, That Ass

There's a meme or recurring theme over at the Cheezburger Network called "Dat Ass". From time to time someone uploads a picture that simply cries out for that caption. Here are a few of my favourites:

Wednesday WIN

Wouldn't a doormat like this bring a smile to your face after you rang the bell?

Speaking of panties, how do you decide which pair to put on?

A Musical Tribute

Today is the 185th anniversary of the death of Ludwig van Beethoven. In his memory, here is a short excerpt from one of his most familiar musical compositions, courtesy of The Daily What.



Give that girl a hand!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for March 25

This week's topic was names you use to refer to your spanking implements. Here's what you said:


Anon: Big Bertha for the big heavy strap.

Michael: Season and I don't have any pet names or nicknames for any of our implements unless you count when Season refers to an item as "That damn hairbrush!" or "The effin' paddle!" Only kidding about the cussing. :-)

But I do like the idea of having nicknames for implements and may start using them. It would be nice to tell Season to "Get the Stinger." and she knows right away I mean the riding crop.

Thanks for the suggestion, Hermione, as I do think Season and I will be naming some implements.

Dave: My wife has a wooden paddle she calls her "hearing paddle". When I don't listen she says she uses it to clean out my ears! Trust me it never gets near my ears but it sure does improve my hearing! ;(

Joey: I do not have a name for any of my implements, but many of my friends have named their favorite paddle or strap. I just bought a tawse and I think I may give it a name.

Thank you for hosting the brunch Hermione.

It's always a joy to have folks over for a chat and some snacks.

Ana: This question made me giggle! D and I don't have nicknames for any implements, but I certainly call them LOTS of names! Lots and lots. None of which I ever dare to say in her presence. :)

Simon: I don't have any nicknames for any of the implements that my Mistress uses on me. I think it's a good idea though, at the moment there can be some confusion when she says "hand me the strap" and I reply "erm which one Mistress?". If all the implements had names it would be a lot simpler. The only problem is that she has a lot of straps and canes and thinking up names for all of them might be problematic.

Prefectdt: On the whole I do not go in for names for the occupants of my toy box but there is one exception.

I have a short white synthetic cane, that was originally sold under the name "White lightning". It is not the most painful toy in the box (though it does hurt a lot). This cane has an unusual sensation, it feels like it is cutting into the flesh on every stroke, although it has never actually broken my skin. Because of this it is no good for fun play and only ever gets used for serious disciplinary punishment (which I do not go in for very often). This one toy has the nickname "The Punishment Stick".

Tenth Muse Top: I like to think I have a 'friendly' hairbrush and a 'scary' one... the former being light and plastic and stingy and the latter is wooden and very effective... but then, since my lover managed to break the original friendly one with her marvellous buns... she might not agree! *vbg*

Ronnie: No we don't have nicknames for any of our implements. Just things like the stingy cane, the Christmas paddle or the lovely John's paddle. We did (or I did) name one once - a heavy belt and I called it "Black Mamba".

Todd and Suzy: Most of our implements do have names, though many times they're the names they came with (like the stuff we get from Cane-iac.com) or they have really basic names (the "small hairbrush" or the "wood discipline paddle" are two good examples of that). Do have a couple we came up with though. One is 'The Ugly Stick' which is shaped a lot like a paint stirrer, but much-much thicker and heavier. It has glitter and what was probably supposed to be a pretty looking pattern... but, uh, yea... didn't exactly work that way. Plus, it can leave an ugly mark on the bare bottom. So, it's now the Ugly Stick! Can be fun calling it that too... lol.

Also have our Hawaiian Paddle. Simple name, but it makes sense given the wood is from a tree only found in Hawaii. That's probably our favorite hand picked name.

So overall we have named a few implements and have fun with that... but mostly it's either the name it came with or something that is descriptive (which helps when you have like 300 different things... lol).

Hobbes: We have a rubber hose called Mr. Weber. Long ago my father had a parochial grade school principal by the name of Mr. Weber and he kept a rubber hose in the desk for the eighth grade boys. About fifteen years back an auto mechanic left a length of black brake hose in the car after he finished putting in new brakes. That eighteen inch of pliable rubber hose is now called Mr. Weber and gets used often. We found it very quiet and with young children that was great; also terrific sting and nice thin parallel purple tram lines. Highly recommended! You can name yours for whomever you like . . . .

Make Mine Red: We haven't, other than the names our Cane-iac items came with, but it does sound like a fun idea! We may have to think on this & come up with some names. And after reading Hobbes' post I think we may need to get a piece of rubber hose :) Thanks for having us, Hermione~love the topic!

Rod: At school, the slipper had a silly name, quite unrelated to the pain it would bring.

When we starting out with the spanking thing at home, the canes soon got referred to as Klingon pain sticks, as my wife is a Trekkie. I have no interest in that TV franchise, but the name was a fun addition to our games.

OldFashionedGirl: We have a clothesbrush that stings like the blazes. It lives in the wardrobe and is known as Aunty Fanny. From time to time when we're out and I'm being a brat I get told that when I get home I'll be having a chat with Aunty. Which usually alters my attitude.

Sunnygirl: We don't have any names other than what they are.

Saiorse: No names to share except the usual: My Belt. The Crop. Fun to read, though, and thanks for a great topic.

Welcome, Saiorse!

Nici: I don't have names for any of them but I do really like personalized toys so I have a few with engraving/lettering on the wood or stamping in the leather. I am honored that Cane-iac named a leather paddle after me.

That's quite an honour, Nici!

A-non: We have no nicknames. Just "the paddle" or "your hairbrush". Working up to "my belt". I think the nicknames have to develop naturally, from experience with them. A name like "The Dreaded Paddle" might be given to an implement after a particularly painful spanking with the round leather paddle.

Disciplined Boyfriend: Most of our implements have nicknames and I could possibly manage a whole blog post on the subject. There's Lee (Lee Van Cleefe in Good, Bad and Ugly) for a bad strap, Michelle (Michelle Pfieffer in Bat Man as Catwoman) for the rubber Cat, Katie (Katie Price aka Jordon) for the leather slapper, Peter (Peter Andre) because of the unnatural orange colour of a leather strap.

Kiwigirliegirl: LOl great idea. We have Paddy for the wooden paddle, Two Tails for our home made green two tailed whippy thing and White Tail for the fibreglass rod which is the worst implement in the world, I assure you.

Lea: Does Mother F***er count? Lol. I don't have any particular names for implements besides "that thing I hate" which rotates by the week.

Hermione: We have the "Terrible Trio" of leather implements, called "Black Beauty", "Weed Whacker" and "Little Red". Then there are the two hairbrushes, "Ebony and Ivory", and a favourite paddle known as the "Big Bopper". Our first pervertable was a wooden paint stirrer that my husband sprayed with gold metallic paint and called "The Golden Paddle". Ron often makes up funny ways of referring to them on the spot, and those names change from day to day.


Thanks, Bonnie, for allowing me to host brunch this week. We all had a good time, but we missed you.

MBS Spanko Brunch #323

 Bonnie and Randy are away, so today I have the pleasure of hosting this weekend's MBS Spanko Brunch. Today's topic is an old favourite that came to mind after a recent encounter with a particularly evil implement of ours that we fondly refer to as "Black Beauty".

Do you have special names for any of the spanking implements you use? That includes nicknames, pet names, or creative ways of referring to them. If you do, please share them with us. If you don't, would you consider it?

To join the discussion, you can enter your response as a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I'll post an edited summary.

Friday Fail

A Bad Case of Bubble Butt 

A Florida woman is accused of illegally injecting toxic substances such as flat-tire sealant and glue into women's buttocks as an enhancement procedure. She wore a nurse's uniform, gloves and an ID tag during the procedures. Authorities said she also injected victims with caulk and cement. The three victims suffered medical complications and infections.

read the full story here.

Better than the Vacuum

Ron bought me a lovely and quite unexpected gift recently - a light brown rattan carpet beater. It was very thoughtful of him, because I had been telling him about all the posts I had read about that particular implement. Curiosity must have gotten the better of him.

The first time we tried it, I was quite overwhelmed. Never had I felt such a sting! I had expected it to hurt, but not quite that much. It covers a decent amount of surface area, but stings like the dressage whip.

For Ron, it was love at first smite. He has a passion for implements that make a lot of noise, and this one is at the top of our arsenal in terms of decibels. I warned him that he might break it if he kept on trying to make the swats louder and louder. It also made a lovely whooshing sound when he swished it back and forth in the air over my head. I cringed every time I heard it approaching.

Since then, we have rarely had a session that didn't include the carpet beater among the chosen implements. It hasn't lost its sting, and I still feel a quiver of apprehension when it whooshes past my ear. When not in use, it hangs on its own peg alongside our paddles, crops and bats.

My good friend Ronnie didn't have the same pleasant experience with their carpet beater. I wonder if the ones made in Canada have a different feel than the ones made in the UK.

Wednesday WIN

Today I have two book covers for your enjoyment.

This one is real, and available here.

This one is just for fun.

A Cartoon Startle

The comic strip Overboard portrays the lives of two groups of feuding pirates, and usually features the antics of the mice that live on board and the dogs that seem almost human. I found an unexpected startle in it the other day.

How does one discipline a pirate?


For old times' sake, here's a cartoon from the days when spanking was a fairly common subject.

From the Top Shelf - The Spoon

Have you visited Wintermute's Spanking Stories recently? If not, you are in for a real treat. It's a veritable treasure trove of M/f, F/M, F/f and other stories. Real-life, fiction, erotic and disciplinary spankings are all there for your enjoyment. Here's a story I especially liked.

The Spoon

They were browsing through the kitchenware section of the store. He was carrying a plastic basket that contained some of their purchases - a bottle of champagne, some glass ornaments. He picked up the salad spoon and fork. The spoon was made out of blonde hard wood, about eighteen inches long with a flat oval end. It was about half an inch thick. The wooden fork was joined to it with a rubber band. They cost $4.95. He put them in the basket.

"We already have salad servers," she said.

"I know. When we get home I'm going to spank you until you're red with this spoon."

To which she had no answer, but the idea made her pussy tingle.

When they got home he put the champagne in the refrigerator. He took out the salad spoon.

"When do you want it?" he asked her. He knew she had been thinking about the spanking he was going to give her as they drove home. He knew it made her pussy wet, even though she knew it would hurt. Especially because she knew it would hurt.

"May I have it now?"

"You may. Come with me."

He lead her into the living room, unzipped the back of her dress and sat on the couch. She slipped the dress over her head, leaving her on her lace panties and bra. She moved to his right side and pulled her panties down to her knees and lay across his lap.

He started spanking her with his hand, alternating cheeks, the slap of his palm loud, echoing in the room. He spanked her until her buttocks began to blush pink and his hand started to get sore. She spread her thighs as he moved his hand down, opening herself so he could caress her pussy. He ran the handle between her pussy lips and caressed her bottom with the wide flat back of the spoon. She felt the sharp pain of spoon on her right buttock, then then on her left. He paddled her for a long time, alternating sides, stopping every once in a while to caress her bottom and her pussy. As he punished her, her bottom blushing red and hot under the strokes of the spoon, she started to cry out. Finally when her bottom was crimson and very sore, he stopped.

"You've been such a good girl", he told her. He caressed her hot cheeks. "You took such a hard spanking. I want you to get up now and take off your bra and your panties."

She stood up, reaching between her breasts to unhook the bra, letting it fall to the floor. Her panties where around her ankles and she stepped out of them.

"Bend over the arm of the couch."

She bent over the end of the couch, her chest resting on the seat, her bottom pushed up, buttocks red, thighs spread. He looked at her as he undressed. He loved her like this, offered, surrendered...

"Get the strap, please," he said.

Want more? Read the rest of the story here.

You Completed the Caption

Here in the North, it's a little cool for this kind of exposure, but it's fun to dream. Here are your thoughts:


Prefectdt: Sun tanning competition BEGIN. Last one to get tan lines get's the walloping.


Ronnie: The girls were pretending to practice sun worshiping but really they wished the boys in the next field would come and spank them.


Michael: "Worshipping at the altar of Spring."

"Okay, girls, get into position for thong inspection here at Camp Naughty Imp."

"The Ostrich Club meeting is now in session."

"Straw hat and a thong,
That uniform is NEVER wrong,
And I must stay strong,
Like the mighty King Kong,
And strive to prolong,
The spanking of this throng,
And make them sing an ouchy song!"


Bonnie:  "We're not worthy!"

"A tribute to the three of hearts"


Anon: What are these pool cue holders doing out here?


Kingspan: These ladies were determined to get their bottoms tanned one way or the other.


Six of the best: My hat's in the ring, for opening up a new talon salon, if these three naughty beauty 'butts' are my first customers.


Vfrat25000: I am beginning to think our new male yoga instructor may have something in mind beside meditation.

Officer Trimble, could you check the park for a report of three ladies in big hats, wearing thongs with their rear ends stuck up in the air.
 Oh sure, right after I check for that navy battleship someone saw in the city pond.

Megan, I think we may have been tricked. I don't see anybody else in the park in the tornado safety position. I think that civil defense guy may be from the Delta Theta Fraternity.

The last three contestants for the new 2012 Jaguar still remain in position after the previous 97 finally gave up.

Quit complaining, Marilyn. We have tried finding rich husbands every other way possible and this may be our last chance.

Becky' I am still really hungry. Why don't we blow off this Rear End Elevation Diet and go get some Steaks. That is the last diet plan I buy off of an infomercial

Jackie, I am going to strangle you the next time one of your ideas gets all three of us spanked by our husbands and we have to cool our bottoms this way.


A. Lurker: All hail Lord Spanko! All hail Lord Spanko!

Desperate Housewives?


Emen: The start of the Season of the Switch.

As in hearty young plant life capable of burning love songs on these beauty butts with laserlike precision.

Or, in the case of Tops and Bottoms out there contemplating crossing the streams, Happy Season of the Switch to ya.


Spanky: I spotted a girl with two friends,
Displaying their perfect rear ends.
A pose sure to please,
on elbows and knees,
I'm glad that I brought my zoom lens!


Red: Why is the photographer taking pictures of our hats???


Galwaygiirl: What beautiful matching.............hats.


Hermione: The annual four-leaf clover hunt was a no-holds bared competition.


I hope you all had a merry St. Paddy's Day and didn't imbibe too much green beer. See you next time!

Complete the Caption

Warm sunshine, soft grass, gentle breezes and bare bottoms. A perfect setting for...?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your summertime suggestions in the next post.

Friday FAIL

A typical assortment of action heroes going about their daily duties.

Notice how the men are all presented facing forward, while the woman's bottom is very prominent.


Maybe it's time to show a different perspective.

There, that's better!

Whip it Good

Sometimes, when a man loves two hobbies very, very much he combines the two of them into a delightfully kinky spectacle.





Hands up those of you who are imagining a bare bottom on the receiving end of those whips, just out of camera range.

Wednesday WIN

I think you will enjoy these signs, even though they aren't quite all there.

And for a little assistance when you really crave a spanking, just pick up this phone and call a disciplinarian.