Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's Hallowe'en!

Are you ready for some tasty trick or treat goodies?

 Biscuits, please, or we'll leave a little something on your lawn.

Everyone loves a slice of ghostly pizza after a hard night of haunting.

Whoever thought this up needs a good spanking!

Shortcut to a quick and tasty evil potion.

Have fun tonight, but play safe!

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Wednesday WIN

The spookiest day of the year is almost upon us. It's a time to hone your knife skills on that popular North American vegetable, the pumpkin. Because of its size and rounded shape, pumpkins often resemble bare bottoms.

As seen in its natural habitat

Don't pinch my cheek!

Wearing a thong

Dressed for the occasion

Lovely carving, but not suitable for the front porch where children will see it

A mooning scarecrow. Now that's scary!

From Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

You Completed the Caption

No assignment is too risky for this brave and daring squad. Here are your captions:

Michael: Sgt. Nick Fury - soldier looking in window: "Okay men, we're going in and we're going in hard. This panty raid will have international consequences."

Leigh: Why am I out here. I want inside now.

Minelle: I am waiting!!!

Vfrat25000: Gentlemen, we have reached our objective: The Victoria’s Secret Panty Research Lab. Remember men, let’s all be professional!

This is sure a lot of work to see my new hot neighbor in her underwear. It would have been a heck of a lot easier to set up a telescope in my bedroom window.

I recruited 100 specially trained mercenaries, brought in 10 armored vehicles and 6 helicopters to rescue this diplomatic goober and he is having a great time with a room full of Spankees. Operation “Granny Panty” is officially concluded.

I hope those ladies like men in Berets.

Guys, I think our Intel may be wrong. What I am seeing doesn’t look anything like 67 year old General Portersmith.

Ronnie: Bill knew he should be with his men but he couldn't take his eyes off the scene inside.

Bonnie: The 3rd Tactical Bikini Corps gives new meaning to the phrase, "Behind enemy lines."

Smuccatelli: Talk about coitus interruptus...

Sir Wendel: His orders were clear – “Wait until you see the white of her panties.”

Baxter: War is hell, but I have to defend my country and deal with that pantied young lady once and for all. Ahhhhhh!

Anonymous: The new IO had not yet completed the de-briefing of the patrol commander, when the enemy struck.

Six of the best: "I'll give this naughty lady a pass, so I can get to her ass. Be she mine, for having a spanking good time."

Prefectdt: The Marine Commandos secured the perimeter as the F/m information extraction team got to work.

Mitch: C'mon, Lieutenant, I know we never leave a man behind, but do you really want to pull Sarge from this?

OK, guys, give me some cover. I'm going in, and the grenades tossed into the woods will cover the bottom smacks.

From the halls of Montezuma,
To the shores of Tripoli;
We spank all ladies in the way,
With verve, and joy, and glee! 

Hermione: Er, kids, I think we should skip this house and go next door for trick or treat.

Thanks, everyone, for such an enthusiastic response. See you all next week for more creative escapades.

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, October 28, 2013

From the Top Shelf - Susan, Part 2

Last week we found Emily and Susan in the attic, awaiting the Master. I won't keep you in suspense any longer; let's see what happens next.

"You know the penalty for disobedience?" he asked.

"Y-yes sir..." stuttered Susan.

"Give me the whip." Susan took the riding crop which was hanging by the strap from her wrist and placed it in his hand as ordered.

"Now adopt a proper riding position. I ordered you not to mount this beast and I come into the attic and find you doing exactly that. Well, you'll get a hotter ride than you bargained for, my lass."

Susan straightened her legs in the stirrups and lowered her head in the classic jockey position. Master Grimes lifted the tail of her jacket with the end of the horsewhip so that the full expanse of her exquisite backside was visible, its pertness emphasised by the skin-tight riding breeches which enhanced the roundness of its contours.

Without warning, the master delivered six stinging blows to Susan's rear in rapid succession.

"AAAAAAAAAOWWWWWWW" Susan cried. Her white-gloved hands, which had been gripping the reins, flew back instinctively to protect her punished posterior.

"Did I tell you to put your hands there?" the master asked.

"N-n-no." Her voice rose in pitch as she uttered the word but she kept her hands on her bottom. This meant she had to use her shoulder against the horse's neck to remain in position. Emily marvelled at Susan's skill in doing this and at the position she was able to maintain; her head low and her bottom impossibly high in the air. She must have had a lot of practice.

"Take your hands away, girl," the master ordered, his voice calm and authoritative.

Slowly and hesitantly Susan complied, placing her hands back on the reins. The young master produced a pen-knife from his pocket and, reaching forward, cut a long straight line from the top of her riding breeches down to the crotch under the cleft of her buttocks. This meant that the skin-tight material split, pulled apart and formed a perfect 'O' shape.

Susan's bottom was now exposed; perfectly framed in the oval of the straining white cloth. Emily thought how ingenious this was. It meant Susan could be punished on the bare without having to dismount and remove her breeches. Master Grimes seemed unhappy with his work. He reached out again and adjusted the cloth so that even more of the maid's voluptuous bottom was exposed; still framed in the perfect O shape. Resting the whip across Susan's waist, Master Grimes removed his waistcoat and rubbed his hands briskly.

"Now," he said, "let's get down to business!"

Susan's feet rested in the stirrups and she held the reins tightly, her bare bottom pushed high in the air as the riding crop descended on the bare for the first time.

Emily watched. She felt a warm glow inside, feeling more and more that she belonged here. Outside the world was gripped by the stresses and strains of the 1990's, but here, reality seemed far away. It was like living a dream; a fantasy.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaooow!" cried Susan.

The crop gave a crisp thwack! each time it descended on the quivering orbs of her buttocks.

Several more times the crop descended and Susan's cries followed each one.

Obviously, Master Grimes did not believe in sparing the rod. Emily lost count of the strokes as Susan's bottom became red with criss-crossing stripes. All of this was being done for her pleasure and she sighed ecstatically when the master ceased belabouring her glowing rear and rested his arm.

"Now then," he said, "since you think you're such an accomplished rider, young lady, I'd like to see you work up a fine gallop."

Whimpering quietly, Susan began to work the rocking-horse into motion. "Come on, girl, faster!" urged the master as she gained momentum. Emily thought she looked like a prize jockey in the Grand National and put her hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle. The huge rockers trundled back and forth on the wooden floor relentlessly until the master was satisfied with the speed and motion generated by his senior maid.

Then, each time the horse tipped forward, he began to apply the crop to Susan's straining buttocks.

"Oh, Master, please stop..." she moaned.

"I'll stop when it pleases me to stop," he replied tersely.

He was now making use of the twin leather flaps at the business end of the whip rather than the pliant staff which had previously created a striped pattern. The result was a dappled effect of reddening rectangles over horizontal stripes. Wickedly, Emily thought of Susan's thrashed backside as a canvas, with Master Grimes the artist, and the O-shaped cut in her breeches as the frame.

"Enough!" he called eventually and Susan stopped her rocking action. As the movement abated, he reached out and caressed the chastened girl's glowing nates, admiring, as he did so, the extent of his handiwork.

"Excellent!" he declared. "Now you may dismount."

Sorely, poor Susan got off the horse and stood before him.

She dabbed at her eyes with one white-gloved hand and rubbed her bottom with the other. Master Grimes raised her face with his hand. "Keep your chin up, my dear," he said.

Turning to Emily he ordered her to bring a wooden stool. Nervously, she located one in the corner of the attic and brought it to him. Sitting thereon, he pulled Susan over his knee and unceremoniously yanked her mutilated breeches down to the bend of her knees, fully exposing her bare bottom and the backs of her thighs. The unfortunate maid began to struggle as he administered a thorough and sound spanking, on top of her already glowing buttocks, ignoring her kicking legs and unconvincing pleas for mercy. Emily looked on, beginning to understand the consummate pleasure that Susan and Mrs Dickens derived from such rigorous chastisement.

Master Grimes finally allowed Susan to get to her feet. "Do you see what happens to young ladies who disobey my strict orders?" he asked Emily.

"Yes sir...indeed I do," she replied meekly.

"Good, now go to your room and consider what you have witnessed this afternoon. Consider what will happen if you choose to disobey me."

Despite her pain, Susan gave Emily an encouraging smile as she turned and walked to the door. As she opened it, she turned briefly and saw that Master Grimes and Susan were locked in an embrace, her arms around him as he soothed her bottom.

Closing the door behind her, she again asked herself; when will it be my turn?

When indeed? We will learn the answer to that question next week.

From Hermione's Heart

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Complete the Caption

There's plenty of action here, both indoors and out. What do the soldiers have in mind? Are the women on the same wavelength?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your speculations once the smoke clears and it's safe to walk the streets again.

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, October 25, 2013

Friday FAIL

My good friend Erica sent me these photos of products with dubious labels. Google Translate has a lot to answer for.

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Not just for breakfast

We all get our share of spammy comments on our blogs, and sometimes I think I'm getting way more than my fair share. Still, there are some comments that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside; that is, until I see that the comment includes a link to knock-off perfumes, discount drugs, cheap holidays, or other nonsense.

If I truly believed these spammers, my head would be very large indeed. But I know that these comments are made on thousands of blogs, so I take them for what they're worth - nothing.  Here are a few of the most complimentary ones. As you read them, keep in mind that they are referring to a spanking blog, and enjoy!

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Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.

I must thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this site. I am hoping to see the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well.

I'm impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that's equally educative and engaging, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head.

It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd most certainly donate to this excellent blog! I guess for now i'll settle for bookmarking

It's amazing to go to see this web page and reading the views of all mates about this piece of writing, while I am also zealous of getting experience.

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Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I'm impressed! Extremely useful information specially the remaining phase :) I handle such information a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a long time.

This website was... how do you say it? Relevant! ! Finally I've found something which helped me. Thanks!

On the flip side, many of the spammers try the opposite tack. They complain and criticize in the hopes that I will respond to defend myself (and in the process perhaps I might buy some fake designer handbags or male member enlargers). All spelling and grammar errors have been retained (aargh!)

The very next time I read a blog, I hope that it won't disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read through, but I actually thought you'd have something useful to say. All I hear is a bunch of crying about something that you could possibly fix if you were not too busy seeking attention.

I do not even understand how I finished up right here, but I believed this post used to be good.

I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

Thank you, I have recently been searching for info approximately this subject for a while and yours is the best I have discovered till now. But, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you sure in regards to the supply?

naturally like your website however you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very troublesome to tell the truth

I believe what you said made a bunch of sense. However, what about this? suppose you added a little information? I mean, I don't wish to tell you how to run your blog, however what if you added something to maybe get people's attention? I mean "Spam and spankings" is kinda boring. You might add a video or a related pic or two to get readers interested about what you've written. In my opinion, it would bring your blog a little bit more interesting.

I do consider all the concepts you've introduced on your post. They're really convincing and can definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for beginners. May just you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time?

You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me.

Spelling mistakes? I don't think so! Spam and spankings boring? Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wednesday WIN

I was searching for something special for today's post and came across an assortment of cartoons with a common theme. I hope you like them.

That's so wrong!

Thousands wouldn't.

It was also Bob's last day on the job.

This part-time job sometimes has an unexpected bonus.

Happy hump day!

From Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

You Completed the Caption

Are the stockings coming off or going on? There might be athird option. Here's what you said:

Our Bottoms Burn: The third option is that they are staying on. The pleasure of nestling between legs encased with nylon is lost on younger men.

Leigh Smith:  "Why do I always get these assignments?"

Dragon's Rose: Put that silly gun away. There are no men to chase off. Just you. Now behave or you will be sleeping in the dog house.

Ronnie: I love it when we do role play.

DelFonte: Miss Moneypenny really couldn't understand why 007 had to do everything with a gun in his hand.

Smuccatelli: I wish I was a leg man... Now bend over!

Michael: "Oh, Harry, I'm so glad you didn't put any runs in my nylons when you were wearing them earlier. Wouldn't the gang get a kick if they knew their tough gun-toting boss liked wearing women's undies *giggle*"

Six of the best: 'Stocking Up', his wife, plus her garter-belt. Hubby's eyes glazed with glee at her bare bottom, that was to be spanked.

Vfrat25000: I forgot the bullets for my gun and worse yet, I forgot my Viagra. This isn’t my day!

I think I just met my next ex-wife

Cinemax presents: The Brady Bunch, The Empty Nest Years.

What would be the chances of me receiving an order from headquarters to SPANK HER like the guys on that TV Show I Spy?
He Opens the classified document: “Take her to Rome immediately!”
He opens the second document: “Just kidding, turn that spoiled brat over your knee and paddle her pink!”
ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GaryNTboy: Dorothy thought it was about time she showed Jack where she really wanted his ' big shooter ' to be holstered.

Hermione: Roger knew he had a mesmerizing effect on women, but he wished she hadn't chosen that position to freeze in. He would have to content himself with cleaning his gun until the spell wore off.

Thank you to everyone who participated. I really enjoy reading your captions, and for some of you, it's the only time you leave a comment on this blog. I'm glad to have the chance to get  to know you through humour.

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, October 21, 2013

From the Top Shelf - Susan, Part 1

We have been introduced to the strange "Victorian" household created by S.T. Rogers here. In Susan and the Old Rocking Horse, the story continues the next morning.

The attic was full of the detritus of a bygone age. Emily's eyes swept over the peripheral flotsam and jetsam in the chamber; dust covered books, old board games, porcelain dolls, toy soldiers, trinkets and bric-a-brac were strewn everywhere. It occurred to her that all of these items combined would fetch a pretty penny at auction.

Although only two o' clock in the afternoon, the attic seemed quite dim; the two large windows in the ceiling being largely neglected and filmed with dust. As her eyes scanned the corners of the room, Emily caught sight of her reflection in the looking-glass. She was dressed in the uniform of a Victorian chambermaid. Sometimes she had to remind herself that she was living in the 1990's. Still, Master Grimes insisted that his servants dress in that fashion and she was by now quite used to the idea; enjoyed it even.

However much her eyes wandered, they always came back to the centre of the room. This was quite understandable because of what was happening there.

Susan, Emily's friend and fellow maid, was sitting astride the exquisite rocking horse which occupied that space. The grey dappled mare was almost life-size. Susan's feet rested in the stirrups and she held the reins tightly; her bare bottom pushed high in the air as the riding crop descended...

* * *

After witnessing the thrashing of Mrs Dickens, Emily's mind was in turmoil. She had intended to go straight to Susan's room and discuss the matter with her friend and fellow maid. But she was so full of confused erotic impulses that she decided to go straight to her own chamber and try to calm down.

As she lay in her bed in the darkness, she realised that there was no logical answer to any of the questions forming in her mind. She had never been spanked as a child; she'd been blessed with the archetypal 'modern parents' who believed it was wrong to physically discipline children. In fact she had never witnessed anyone receiving corporal punishment in all her nineteen years - until tonight. So why had the sight of it affected her so? Perhaps it was the knowledge that both the participants knew exactly what they were doing and gained immense satisfaction from their actions; a kind of erotic role-play.

A delicious game.

The bottom line (Emma giggled at her pun) was that the sight of Mrs Dickens having her bare backside tanned by the young master had turned her on. She had actually been jealous; wishing it was her own pert bottom receiving his strict attentions.

And he was so handsome...

The next morning at breakfast Emily exchanged glances over the table. Emily would peek at Mrs Dickens who was behaving, as ever, like the indomitable matriarch and then at Susan, and she was barely able to suppress a giggle each time.

"Do you find something amusing, young lady?" said Mrs Dickens. "Perhaps you would like to share it with us."

"Oh no, Mrs Dickens," Emily replied hastily, "I was just thinking what a lovely breakfast this is."

Mrs Dickens eyed her suspiciously as she lowered her eyes and gazed at her plate. Turning to Susan, the housekeeper said, "The master has requested that you attend to the dust in the attic this afternoon, Susan. As you are senior maid I am sure I have no need to detail the duties involved, you are no stranger to them."

Susan nodded assent and continued with her breakfast. Emily wondered at the implication in the housekeeper's voice. She glanced at Mr Balfour for some sort of clue but the reticent butler merely chewed his toast and stared vacantly at some point in the space ahead of him.

After breakfast the two maids were assigned to clean the master's bedroom and Emily at last had her chance to question the older girl about the events of the previous night. Susan listened patiently as the younger maid gushed out her story.

"And what is your opinion of what you witnessed?" Susan asked when Emily had finished.

"I found it very...unusual."

Susan smiled. "You mean you found it...exciting."

Emily hesitated and then giggled. "Yes, I did."

Susan took Emily's hand and they sat on the bed. "You are becoming aware of what is required of you, as a maid, in this household. The master has his ways and Mrs Dickens and I are well used to them. What happens is mutually rewarding. The master is merely providing what we want...what we women require, deep down. Do you understand?"

"I think I do..." said Emily.

"When I am to clean the attic this afternoon you will come with me. Then your understanding will be complete."

Emily tried to question Susan further but the older maid told her to be patient; she would find out soon enough.

* * *

At ten minutes before two, Emily heard a knock at the door and answered it excitedly. She blinked in amazement at Susan, who was standing there looking, for all the world, like a horse-rider in a dressage competition. Black jacket and boots contrasted delightfully with white shirt, cravat and skin-tight riding breeches. Her dark hair was swept up and held under a cocked black riding cap. She held a riding-crop in her gloved right hand.

"Susan, " Emily gasped, "what are you doing..." Susan simply smiled radiantly and then led Emily up the stairs to the attic.

"I don't understand," Emily was saying, "I thought you were supposed to dust the attic. Why are you dressed like this?"

"It is part of the game, Emily," replied Susan. "The master used to punish me in the conventional manner - in maid's attire. I grew tired of it and suggested this outfit."

"So the riding uniform is all your idea?"

"Of course," smiled Susan. "You're so naive, Emily, you have so much to learn. Did you really think I was being asked to clean the attic this afternoon?"

They reached the top of the stairs and Susan paused in the narrow passageway. "Emily," she said, "the master knows of your recent appointment and your presence in the house. He does not know that you witnessed the thrashing of Mrs Dickens last night and he does not know you will be present in the attic. When he comes into the attic in a few minutes, it is best that you busy yourself and say nothing. He will see you and realise that I have brought you, and he will act accordingly."

Susan pushed open the attic door which creaked noisily on its hinges. Almost as soon as they had closed the door behind them, the sound of approaching footsteps reached their ears.

"Quick," said Susan, "the master is coming up the stairs. Go and stand over there, Emily."

Emily obeyed and Susan moved over to the old rocking-horse in the middle of the room. She put one booted foot in the stirrup and quickly mounted the creature. Turning to Emily she whispered hoarsely, "Remember what I've told you." Then, working her thighs and buttocks she set the rocking-horse in motion.

The door opened and Master Grimes entered. Emily turned and pretend to be busy clearing up junk on the floor.

"Well," said the master, "what have we here?"

He was standing with hands on hips staring at Susan when Emily looked at him. "Haven't I told you not to ride that beast," he said to Susan. It was more like a statement than a question.

Susan stopped rocking. Apparently flustered, she attempted to dismount.

"Stay where you are, girl," he commanded. Susan obeyed. Turning his head he became aware of Emily's presence. In the brief moment before she lowered her eyes beneath his gaze, Emily detected uncertainty in his eyes; like an actor momentarily forgetting his lines. But when she dared to look up again, she saw that he was back in character.

"Ah, the new maid," he said. "it is good that you are present, my dear. You will have an excellent opportunity to see how I deal with recalcitrant young ladies."

Taking a wooden box from the floor, Master Grimes placed it next to the rocking-horse and began to roll up his sleeves. Susan began to whimper softly as he stood on the box and surveyed her.

"You know the penalty for disobedience?" he asked.

"Y-yes sir..." stuttered Susan.

"Give me the whip." Susan took the riding crop which was hanging by the strap from her wrist and placed it in his hand as ordered.

I see that we have run out of time. Next week we will find out why Master Grimes asked for the whip, and how Susan felt about it.

From Hermione's Heart

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Complete the Caption

Stockings. Are they coming off or going on? The man in the background knows.

Complete the caption by leaving a comment and I will publish your suggestions once everyone has had a chance to participate.

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, October 18, 2013

Friday FAIL

Just when you hoped it would go away, the "book that shall not be named" is in the news once more.

No wonder Charlie Hunnam changed his mind about playing Christian Grey.

A little juvenile, but here are Fifty Shades of Toast, just in time for breakfast.

Coming to a theatre near you, the Fifty Shades parody is making its way across North America, to mixed reviews.

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Ripe Bottoms

In the part of the country where I live, there isn't much opportunity to sample Southwest or Mexican  cuisine. I had never tasted tomatillos, but thought that I would try growing them in the garden last summer. They look pretty much like tomatoes, and if they could survive in our climate I would worry about what to do with them later.

After a few anxious months of searching for non-existent fruit on the blossom-covered plants, I did some online research. It seems that they take a long time to set fruit, but once they do there's no stopping them. Unlike tomatoes, which self-pollinate, tomatillos require at least two plants in order to fertilize the flowers. Check. I had two monster plants. So I patiently waited and was finally rewarded with little round parchment balls hiding the succulent fruit within.

They looked like little round bottomcheeks, and even more so when the fruit swelled and burst the paper-like covering. I thought I was seeing plumber's butts.

Or maybe I was having a Walmart flashback. Oh, no!

They looked even more bum-esque in pairs.

Well, not really. They simply couldn't compare with the rosy roundness of good ol' tomatoes.

Doesn't that look spankable?

How about upside down?

Even more so! Gardening can be such a naughty occupation if you let your mind wander.

And just so you know, I roasted those naughty green butts and turned them into a salsa verde that was delicious as an accompaniment to my Canadian version of quesadillas.

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Wednesday WIN

I struggled with today's choice because for the person involved, it's a FAIL. But I decided that anyone who can't resist a voluptuously rounded bottom must be a WINner.

From Hermione's Heart