Friday, December 30, 2022

Product Review

So, we tried the paddle that Ron so thoughtfully gave me for Christmas. I have one word: Ouch!

Ron: "So, it's pretty good, huh? 

Me: "No!"

That thing hurts, and he wasn't even using much force. It's going into the toy box to replace two paddle ball paddles that have seen better days and have broken handles. The way it works is this. Ron chooses three implements from the wall racks, and I get to choose one from the toy box. Guess who won't be choosing this one any time soon.

If you're interested in experiencing the delights of this bamboo paddle, it's available on Amazon.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Let me count the ways

Far from enjoying her retirement, our dear friend Bonnie has been hard at work. She has discovered 100 ways to say she has been spanked, and here they are:

 How many ways can we say I got a spanking without saying the word?

1. A session with the hairbrush
2. A trip over his lap
3. Accepted the consequences
4. Acquired a sore rump
5. Acquired paddle burns
6. Attitude adjusted
7. Bare bottom punishment
8. Bared my bottom
9. Beat me with a bath brush
10. Beat my butt
11. Behavior modification
12. Bent over the couch
13. Blistered my bottom
14. Blushing at both ends
15. Booty blasted
16. Brat handling
17. Britches dusted
18. Butt busted
19. Caned
20. Corporal correction
21. Corporally punished
22. Cropped
23. Dealt with
24. Did the lap dance
25. Discipline administered
26. Feeling the burn
27. Felt his belt
28. Felt the leather
29. Felt the sting
30. Fetched the hairbrush
31. Fire in my caboose
32. Fixed my wagon
33. Flipped my skirt
34. Flogged
35. Gave me plenty to think about
36. Glowing globes
37. Got a red rear end
38. Got a shiny red hiney
39. Got a whooping
40. Got all I deserved
41. Got out the ruler
42. Got the wood
43. Got thrashed
44. Got to the seat of the problem
45. Got whacks
46. Heat for my seat
47. Hit me where the sun doesn’t shine
48. Hit with a wooden spoon
49. Joined the sore corps
50. Learned the hard way

51. Made it hard to sit
52. Made my bum hurt
53. Met the board of education
54. One hand clapping
55. Only hurts when I sit
56. Paddled
57. Painted my back porch red
58. Percussive persuasion
59. Posterior pain
60. Put in my place
61. Received strokes
62. Received swats
63. Reminded who is boss
64. Removed his belt
65. Roasted my butt
66. Rolled up his sleeve
67. Scorched my buttocks
68. Seared my rear
69. Sent to Sore Bottom City
70. Sent to the principal’s office
71. Served some lap time
72. Set straight
73. Smacked
74. Sorted out
75. Stared at the carpet
76. Strapped
77. Struck with a rod
78. Stung my sitter
79. Switched
80. Swung the hickory
81. Taken down a peg or two
82. Taken to the woodshed
83. Tanned my hide
84. Taught a hard lesson
85. Taught some manners
86. Thoroughly chastised
87. Toasted my buns
88. Took my licks
89. Took my punishment
90. Took the paddle off the wall
91. Visited the seat of learning
92. Warmed my seat
93. Wearing welts
94. Went medieval on my butt
95. Went over his knee
96. What naughty girls get
97. When the paddle falls
98. Whipped
99. Wore his marks
100. Wore out my seat

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for December 25

Did your Christmas celebration include any spanking-related toys or activities?

KDPierre: Not formally a part but certainly 'there' in some way. I think it's too integral a part of who we all are for it not to express itself during a fun time. However, since there is no set tradition, it's fun to see how things manifest differently each year. For example, I have it on good authority from my cosmic daughter (stepdaughter), Ana, that tomorrow she will be giving me a Christmas card with instructions inside for her mom to give me a Merry Christmas spanking as an added gift from her. Rosa also gave me a warning spanking before a recent Christmas party we attended. It wasn't horrific, but she was serious about it.

As for anything else? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Merry Christmas!

 Wendel: Merry Christmas Hermione!
Every year there is “Spanking Under the Mistletoe”. Mistletoe hangs in front of the tree with a chair close by. If one of us gets caught under it, that one has the bottom bared and gets an immediate spanking with the paddle. It can be once a week, once a day or even multiple times a day. It is great fun trying to get by the tree without getting caught. I caught the Misses 3 times a couple of days ago. She was complaining that her bottom was still sore the following morning. Definitely plotting her revenge.
Matching drop seat PJs are waiting under the tree this year. 

Roz: Not a routine for us due to opportunity, and not on the day. However, there is pre-Christmas spanking some years, sadly not this year however.

Jack: We spend Christmas Eve at my mother-in-law. I dread what she gives her daughter, knowing it is intended for me. The second christmas as a bathbrush, my name engraved on it, it hangs in the hallway. The past year was little boy pajamas, how they found one's that fit me I did not ask. Indians and cowboys and this past year my wife has had me wear them on several occassions. These pajamas will be what I will wear at my mother-in-law's. What I get this year I only can think it will be something I never thought of. I messed up early this week and been grounded, early bedtime, this will hold while visiting. I love both of them equally, they are the women I need. I have packed a small pillow, I may not need it, but if so, hope I can use it. 

Anon 1: Just me and HOH wife this year. I, like Jack, have already messed up and will be paying the price today. I'll be cooking up and serving wife an elegant Christmas brunch and plant my nose in the corner while she enjoys it. After which my already bruised derriere will be diapered and I'll be sent to bed, without toys or TV. Most likely before noon.

 Bonnie: Our weather is frightfully expected. Rain is in the forecast for the next ten days.

Yes, this is the season of giving. Randy gives me generous spankings and I give him, um, other things that he likes.

We exchanged gifts last evening. He bought me a medium length, medium weight hardwood paddle. It's well suited to some of our recent percussive activities. Did I mention it hurts? I've already had the opportunity to assess its efficacy.

He also gave me a too short pastel pink satin nighty. This was also tested and found to be satisfactory by him. I would prefer more substantial wintertime nightwear, but these are the sacrifices I make in the name of marital enjoyment.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Wendy: I often give my husband new implements for Christmas, but I’ve run out of ideas there, and our collection really needs to be thinned. We may try a 12 days Christmas spanking. I guess I’ll find out tonight. Merry Christmas! 

Graham: Like Wendy, we have 12 days of spanking with me on the receiving end! We use it to "clear up" anything remaining from the past year and set the tone for the new one. No new implements, but I gave her a nice piece of lingerie that she really likes. Happy Holidays to All! 

Fondles: I remember in the past we had Christmas spankings, but that hasn't been part of our routine for a few years now. Because the situation doesn't allow sadly. But sometimes we DO have pre-Christmas dinners and spankings. Sadly not this year cos we didn't get any private / alone time (dinner was followed by drinks with friends and that ended very late!). Hopefully we'll be able to resume our Christmas spankings (and ANY spankings for that matter) at some point. Merry Christmas everyone!

Anon 2: No spankings for me for Christmas, but I did give my wife a cutting board that I made. Her best friend said it looks just like a paddle.

Hermione: Christmas day was mostly taken up with shovelling snow after the terrible winter storm that blew for several days. Ron thoughtfully gave me a bamboo paddle.

We will try it out later today, now that we are rested from our outdoor exertions. I can hardly wait!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #467

The weather outside is frightful all across North America. Stay inside if you can. Better to forgo your travel plans and not risk your life on the road or in the air. The bright side is you'll have more time to spend here with us. 

Is spanking a part of your holiday celebration? Did you give or receive a new toy, article of clothing or other spanking-related gift?

I hope you will find time to drop by and leave your holiday wishes. I will publish an edited summary of our festivities on Boxing Day.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, December 23, 2022

Deck the Halls

For Erica


Happy holidays to you all. Brunch will be served as usual, so come if you can and stay as longas you like.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Christmas Cartoons

Some yuletide homour for you. Some ofthese are oldies but goodies that still make me smile.


Deck those halls!

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

Christmas in Canada

Even the beavers come in from the cold.

Canadians are polite.

This happens to us every time it snows.


Sounds good to me.


Happy holidays from the frozen north!

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

I am a naughty girl

Just in time for the holidays, our friend A.J. sent me this funny clip from the defunct television series Two and a Half Men, titled "Santa's Village of the Damned."

The episode has Alan dating Sandy, Malibu's answer to a "Fatal Attraction-like" Martha Stewart.  Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.   She actually believes in Santa Claus.

The characters are:
-  Charlie, a wealthy, full-time skirt-chaser with a house on the beach.
-  Alan, his mooch of a brother who lives with him with his son.
-  Sandy, the guest actress who, as one can see, happens to be very attractive!

Alan met Sandy at a gourmet cooking class and started dating her. She is a terrific cook and they enjoy every moment of her skills.  Until....!  In the closing scenes, Sandy has gone all Glenn Close and is sitting in the living room staring into nowhere, turning the Christmas lights on and off.

    Charlie:  I think something's wrong with Sandy.

    Alan:  I just said that!! Do you ever listen to me?  (Turns) Sandy?  Sweetheart?  You okay?

    Sandy:  He's not coming.

    Alan:  Who's not coming?

    Sandy:  Santa.  Every year, I try to make things perfect.  And every year I fail.  Mama was right.  I am a naughty girl.  (Stands, turns and looks at Alan)  Come on, Alan.

    Alan:  Where are we going?

    Sandy:  I want you to teach this naughty girl a lesson.  She needs to be punished.  (Exits to the bedroom.)

    Charlie:  You lucky dog!

    Alan:  What?  I'm not going in there!  She's nuts!

    Charlie:  Yeah, so?  Sеx with crazy chicks is great!  Just make sure you pick positions where you can see what her hands are doing.

    Alan:  No. No, that would be taking advantage of...of a mentally unbalanced person.

    Charlie:  Oh, Alan, that boat has sailed. You might as well hop on board for a farewell cruise.

    Alan:  I don't think so. It just wouldn't be right.

    (Sandy reappears wearing a 'festive holiday outfit.')

    Sandy:  Come on, Alan.  I'm ready.

    Alan, takes one look, turns to Charlie:  Good night.  (Leaves with Sandy.)

    Charlie:  Okay!  Pie for everybody.

Here's the clip. The scene above starts at the 3:11 mark and ends 1:31 later when you can end it, so it's not too long.  But watch it all so you get an idea of the level of Sandy's crazy.  

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, December 19, 2022

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for December 18

Describe your dream spanko B&B.

Wendel: I will call it: The Spanking Astoria.
I believe in truth in advertising. No point in being subtle. The ads would clearly mention all magical spanking fun. Adults 21 and over and a smoke free environment. 

The lobby would be red velvet with spanking benches in the foyer and black light illuminating the check-in counter.  All rooms would have themes from movies and cartoons. There would be a princess castle room. A pirate ship room with one mast as a stripper pole and other the patron could be chained. A classroom suite with desks, chalk board and a cane and paddle hanging on the wall. A train room where the patron could get their caboose paddled on the back of the caboose. A spooky room and, since it is Christmas time, The North Pole Room. It would look just like Santa’s workshop. Mom and Dad spanked often so I would probably design an early 70s home room with kitchen, parents' bedroom and kid room so the patron could relive memories of childhood spankings. Not sure how well that would go over today so that may or may not happen. 

The rooms would have floor to ceiling blackout windows so no one can see in from the outside. This way the patrons, if they choose, could experience the excitement of a semi-public spanking without the fear of being seen. 

It would offer secluded hiking trails with clearings where the patrons could partake in a good outdoor spanking. Maybe even a small amphitheater for those that want to try witnessed spankings.

Jean Marie: Wendel really covered this excellent question comprehensively! The only thing I'd add is to have lots of straight-backed wooden chairs. They work well for spankers to sit on to do the deed, and for spankees to have to sit on afterward.

I don't know if we'll have a brunch next week, & I'm traveling so will be incommunicado, so Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! 

Rich Person: I'd make sure my B&B had a good woodshed. But then, I'd probably have it set in the woods, and it would have a nice, big fireplace, for spankings by the fire.

Happy Holidays. May you wishes be fulfilled

Roz: I think I would call it Spank Palace. The lobby walls would be adorned with an array of paddles, crops and other implements. It would feature themed rooms catering to different spanking scenarios/fantasies including a classroom. 

Jack: A name for my B&B - I have not come up with one. The rooms would each be a theme, such as Naughty little school girl, Mommie Knows Best, so on. Each room would be provided with a bath brush, paddle, hairbrush, a study chair, and assortment of creams. When having breakfast pillows are provided.

I must learn to show my wife prior to posting, she allows me to read your blog and to respond. She stated such a B&B would attract more women who are spanked than males. My wife said she would enjoy such a B&B, would give her a chance to show other women, husbands, males, can be naughty little boys and a spanking does wonders. She then added, that if we went to such a place, my spanking would be heard by all, and I would not be allowed a pillow at Breakfast. I said at least it would be in the room, she smiled, depending of how she feels at the time, and there are adults so don't bet on it.

A.J.: My first thought was mentioned by Rich Person: a woodshed out back.

Jack's wife made a point about there would be more red-bottomed women (The way God wants it!) than men of the same hue. I think I agree with her that it would be fun for her/other women to show/demonstrate to other women that some OTK time for the men in their lives can do wonders!

Imagine that conversation! Imagine the demonstrations!!

Bonnie: Boardrooms and Bedrooms is a new type of B&B accommodation designed for couples who choose to revisit their favorite disciplinary fantasies and explore exciting new possibilities. Each fully equipped luxury suite offers guests a different spanking theme. Popular favorites include the classroom, the sorority house, the dungeon, the headmaster’s study, the corner office, the cheerleaders’ locker room, the woodshed, the dorm room, the rustic cabin, and the tack shop. Everything you need to create lifelong memories is included. Your privacy is protected, but should you choose to visit with a group, larger facilities are available for group activities.

Sore is more: Have you seen the show on Netflix, How to build a sex room? Some must-haves from the show as per very talented Ms Rose, and not mentioned above: tantric chaise, spanking bench, St Andrew's cross, pony chair, floor-to-ceiling mirrors, ceiling mirrors, reinforced four-poster beds with rings to hook up the restraints, hard points. Lots of furry pillows, throws, candles - for more romantic feel.

Now, my own take:
Well-distanced cabins in the woods, for those seeking more privacy, or soundproof rooms. Or some onsite services like professional photoshoots, or the store selling implements, if you forgot your favourite one at home or want to try a new one. Or costumes for rent for roleplay.

As for a name, hmm, Play by Numbers, Paint It Red, Sorely Yours, Main and Mine, Red to Grow, Pink/Red, Spoons and Brushes, Leather Heaven, Wood in the Woods. Shall I go on?

Almost forgot, flowers, for, you know...

Hermione: Welcome to "The Whackings", a discrete bed and breakfast. We are located in the country, in a ten-acre field, so no once can hear your screams. Each room is completely soundproof, with en suite, four-poster bed complete with restraints, and a naughty stool. Complimentary hairbrush and ruler are provided. Breakfast is at 7:00 and lateness will be punished (for a small extra fee). Book now and w will include an hour in our downstairs "playroom" at no additional charge. We bend over backwards to make your stay memorable.

I'm packing right now, and making reservations at all your establishments.

We will indeed have a brunch next week, so plan to drop in if you can. 

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #466

The holidays are a time for travel, and you are about to take advantage of that. Imagine, if you will, that you have realized your lifelong ambition of opening a bed and breakfast or a holiday let. After years of saving and planning, your spanking-themed B&B is open. But now you need to attract visitors who share your enthusiasm for CP.

How will you advertise your spanko B&B? What are the specific features of the rooms, the common areas, and any outdoor attractions? Does the name of your establishment hint at its special nature?  What special amenities, if any, do you provide for your guests' (dis)comfort?

Let your imagination run wild and share your ideas with us all. I will publish your brochures once everyone has had time to think about and record their designs.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, December 15, 2022

Holiday Meme

Thank you, Ronnie, for reminding me of this meme.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Always gift bags of fabric or paper.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Artificial. It smells like the real thing when we put pine-scented spray on it.

3. When do you put up the tree?

The first day of Advent.

4. When do you take your tree down?

I prefer to leave it up until Epiphany (Jan 6) but it usually comes down any time after New Year's Day,

5. Do you like eggnog?

I love it but my waistline doesn't.

6. Favourite gift received as a child?

A white polar bear stuffy with a red collar.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
The budgies. I never know what toy will impress them.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
The dogs. Anything that squeaks delights them.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes, the figures are made of clay.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
I don't send cards.

11. Worst Christmas gift ever received.

A giant Star Wars picture. (I've never seen the movies so am not a fan.)

12. Favourite Christmas movie?
Mine is A Christmas Carol. Ron's is Prancer.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Early in November or even late October.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes. My neighbour gives me gifts I can't use so I pass them along to charity shops or the annual animal rescue fundraisers.

15. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas?
Shortbread, which I always make. I also love turkey. We only have it once a year, but the leftovers are frozen and we enjoy meals for a few months after.

16. Lights on the tree; coloured or white?
We had white for a few years, but now it's tiny blue lights.

17. Favourite Christmas song?

Once in Royal David's City always sends shivers down my spine. I also love John Rutter's Nativity Carol.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

We are at home this year.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Yes, but why?

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star. Ron struggles every year to get it absolutely straight.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Christmas morning after breakfast.

22. Favourite ornament theme or colour?
A large collection of musical instruments. We also have quite a few tiny dog ornaments.

23. Favourite for Christmas dinner?
Turkey with all the trimmings, including sprouts.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
An indictment for the Orange Menace.

25. Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Stocking Stuffers

Gag gifts instead of coal for that naughty one's stocking.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, December 12, 2022

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for December 11

Are spankings ever a reward?

Roz: I love this question. Not sure spanking is used as a reward as such here, but it is used for pleasure at times. A nice slow, not quite as hard (to start anyway) spanking with other activities intermingled between swats.

Jean Marie: Spanking jump-starts my sexuality. My lover telling me to turn over his knee is like those cables being attached. Panties pulled down is inserting the key. The first swat is like him turning the ignition. Bbbbrrrmmm! And we're off!

Yes, spanking my bottom is used as reward all the f'ing time in this household! There's no lecture or tension, like when I've been bad. It is not specifically for foreplay (because of a lack of time or energy may be a limitation). Reward spankings are "good girl spankings"; a way for my lover to tell me in a most meaningful way that we're connected. I could be more graphic than I already have been, but I think I've answered your question.

Bonnie: Oh my, yes! In my whacky brain, even a hard punishment-style spanking can be a reward if I really want it. I realize that makes no sense. But when I get into a certain headspace, spanking is welcome liberation, a gift. My stress can be unwound and spun away in a relatively short time when I'm over his lap. I may squirm in my seat later, but my heart is light and my mind is clear. If that's not a reward, I don't have a better word.

Dan: Definitely not. They may be a kind of relief if I'm feeling the need to be held accountable for something, but I think that's very different from a reward.

Rosco: It’s mutual pleasure in our sex games, but I suppose it’s a reward in the sense that if Irene is mad at me she’s going to ignore me not spank me. (Though she does like to make it hurt,)

But we always role play and pretend it’s punishment. And there’s always a lecture.

Prefectdt: The pay to plays are always a reward, for working for the money and not squandering it on things that I don't need. I think that if I was ever fortunate enough to find myself in a relationship with someone who was interested in a DD arrangement, spankings as a reward would work better for me than spankings as punishment. We would have to find some other method to correct my negative behaviour.

Barrel: I don’t recall that we have ever used a spanking as a reward for positive behavior, but I like it! We have definitely used and thoroughly enjoyed spanking sessions for birthdays, stress relief and emotional reconnection. Our spankings almost always lead to intimacy, which is a huge reward, so indirectly, I’d have to say yes. 

Wendel: Not sure if a birthday spanking counts as a reward. Maybe for reaching another year older? I do not think we ever did the “Hey, great job here is a spanking” but it might be something to try. 

KDPierre: Yes, but rarely and usually only if it's a mutual mood thing. Several of my "Nickki Spankings" definitely fell in the 'reward' column. 

Graham: Absolutely! Or at least for great fun playing games, for birthdays, etc. Not a true "reward" but strictly for fun.

Hermione: Not as a reward for anything specific, but since I am always glad to be on the receiving end, I consider them to be rewards for being me!

That's all for today, but come back soon for more whacky fun!

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #465

Welcome! Come on in; you're just in time for a snack and some lively conversation.

Is spanking ever used as a reward? If so, please tell us about it.

We are bound to have a lot of interesting responses to this one. Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish an edited summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, December 9, 2022

Friday FUN

For those of you who liked the old version of Windows photo in my last post, remember Clippie?

If that was before your time, he was a little helper at the bottom of the screen that you clicked on if you needed some assistance.

In later versions, there were more office assistants to choose from.

Windows was much more fun back then. It's too bad there wasn't a paddle to inspire you to work harder and stop playing with Clippie and company. I usually chose the dog. Which one would you choose?

Glory to Ukraine

From Hermione's Heart