Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Still in Lockdown

We are still in lockdown here, most businesses closed, no indoor dining, pickup at the door or delivery from some of the larger non-essential places. I wonder if nurseries are considered an essential service. Otherwise, where will everyone buy their summer bedding plants?

Stay safe everyone!

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, April 12, 2021

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 11

This week we discussed the use of titles.

KDPierre: Rosa and I don't use anything like this, but Nickki seems to like to have me use different 'titles' at times. It's just a personal preference I suppose. I've done it both ways in the past as well, and when I did it more formally it seemed like a big deal, but when I didn't I realized it made little difference. It can add an edge, but only if it seems important to the parties involved. 

Roz: During play time Rick is often Sir, sometimes Daddy. Sometimes it's a requirement but mostly it's just something that evolved from the early days when spanking was purely for fun and may be scene based. It does add to the tone.

Anon: My spankees know not to fail to use the term Sir throughout any spanking. The last time one salutation was missed while a spankee was counting spanks as ordered, 50 hairbrush spanks were added. She never forgot again.

Wendel: "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" are the common titles. It is just something we have always done. 

Rosco: We do all kinds of role play. Mostly Irene initiates it and I’m not really sure who she is. Depending on the situation, I’ll call her mistress or ma’am or princess or queen or senorita or fraulein or Mrs Robinson etc.

She calls me by name but describes my behavior as pouty, petulant, obstreperous, disrespectful etc.

Jack: My wife decided after the first punishment spanking I would address her as Mommy. She told me her mother said once she got married she would be a wife, friend, and Mommy. She did not understand at the time, but that first spanking she did. I will address her as Mommy until told otherwise. 

Morningstar: In my past relationship I used to HAVE to use the term 'Sir', honestly I found it tiresome and not natural. Being the brat I can be, I used to say "Yes Sir ... No Sir" and then mumble "3 bags full Sir", which didn't win me any brownie points.

Now in this relationship, the only time I use 'Sir' is when I write my blog or when we used to play publicly, otherwise he doesn't want any titles. Much more sensible in my mind, though I could see using an honorific if you are role playing. (We don't - never have never will - small smile.)

 Barrel: With normal spankings, we don’t use any special names as she usually just wants to get started. However, during our longer and more intense sessions where she will lecture or question me during a pause, I refer to my wife as ‘Miss’. The hardest question for me is when she asks if I am able to take more, and the answer she has trained me to give is, ‘only if they are harder, Miss’.

Good topic this week. Thanks.

Prefectdt: It depends upon who I am playing with. I am usually happy to go with the other parties wishes on this as long as they are not too complicated. "Princess Caranthorp The Third Of Thrashsilvania" for example, is a bit too much to remember in the heat of play.

If I am asked for a preference, I kind of like being referred to as "Boy" when I am on the receiving end.

Ronnie: I've used Sir when we've done role play and I sometimes cheekily call P Sir during a spanking. 

A.J.: Have her call me "Sir" or "Master"? Nope. Would not even think of doing that.

1. I wouldn't want that.
2. The pointing and laughter from her!

Bonnie: I have addressed him as Sir on occasion when it seemed like it fit the mood, but it's not a regular feature of our sessions.

Alice: Yes, I address him as Sir when we are playing. It does make me feel more submissive and gets me into that headspace. If he wants me to use it at other times he uses my full name, rather than my shortened name as a signal.

Hermione: I sometimes call Ron "Sir" and it always makes him smile. There's no requirement for it; I do it just for fun.

And there you have it! Stay safe and wear your mask.

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #378

Welcome back, dear friends. I hope you've had a good week and are staying safe. Let's discuss spanking. 

Do you or your partner ever use titles like Sir, Master, Mistress or something similar when it's time for a spanking? Are these titles used because of a demand or rule, or are they used spontaneously? How do they affect your interaction?

Please leave your response as a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to reply, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, April 8, 2021

What a Bum Bum!

Ron and I have been enjoying a series called How it Really Happened with moderator Hill Harper. One season gave details on all the famous mass murderers and how they were caught. The season we are watching now features famous musicians and actors, and how they met their sad ends. Last night we saw how Selena Quintanilla, a Latina singer on the verge of releasing her first English-language album, was murdered by a trusted friend. 

One of the songs she sang on the show made our ears perk up. The lyrics sounded like "bitty bitty bum bum". I found the song on YouTube and thought you might like to enjoy it with me. Hint: Selena's bum is anything but bitty. There are some lovely shots of it in the video.

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Colour me Happy!

I'm doing the happy dance today. I finally got an appointment for one of the covid vaccines, so in two weeks both Ron and I will be protected.  Our second shots are booked for August, which is the standard wait time here.

To celebrate, here are some silly FAILs that will make you smile.


Mermaids have butts?

April Fool!

There's a third option?

'Tis the season to be jolly

I want my money back.

Come a little bit closer...

A nice souvenir of London -- NOT!

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, April 5, 2021

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 3

What's your take on using a professional spanker or spankee?

Roz: What a great question. For me spanking is something I enjoy within my relationship, it brings a greater level of connection and intimacy and enhances our sex life. It is also such an intimate act. Therefore no, I don't think I would go to a professional. 

QBuzz: When I was single I did visit a few professional spankees to 'keep my hand in' ;)
As for my submissive side, I took the opportunity to explore my bi curiosity and meet up with dominant older gentlemen rather than pro spankers/dommes.

I love the idea of being a pro spanker/spankee but for men I think it's just a fantasy :D
Again when I was single I did enquire about doing some modelling as a male spankee (which is usually unpaid, and understandably so). But I never heard back.

 Joe: This is a great question and I am sure everyone has different thoughts on it. For me it is something I have thought about for a long time and would accomplish a few things. My wife is still unsure of giving a strong spanking, I have a desire to have my spankings witnessed. Visiting a professional can show my wife a strong spanking can be given without causing real harm and how to do it also I can have a witness without shocking a friend. We have talked about it and we just may do it.

Wendel: I would not go to a professional spanker. For myself the enjoyent of being spanked is not just the act or the pain but also comes from knowing who is doing the spanking. Beside, the Misses can and has spanked quite hard in the past so I am good there. 

Prefectdt: Would you ever consider going to a professional for a spanking? - God yes and as soon as it is possible I will again.

If so, what would be the circumstances? The circumstances would be that I want a competent spanking from someone who is experienced and skilled, has a good selection of toys, offers their services in a place where I can go ouch and argh as loudly as I need to and hopefully enjoys their work

On the other hand, does the idea of being a professional spanker (or spankee) appeal to you? - I would love to be a professional spankee but I doubt if I would get many clients.

A.J.: "Would you ever consider going to a professional for a spanking?

Uhhhh, will actually, I have.

"If so, what would be the circumstances?

The circumstances was my spanking GF had a career change and moved far, far away! With almost all the women I met hinting "No!" I began to really miss it. And one day I was in Los Angeles, discovered one of those underground papers that had ads for giving and taking spankings. Come in, pick your spanker/spankee, and go home all pink and tingly. No sex!

It got to me. I decided to do it. And let me be very clear, IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO DECIDE TO GO THOUGH WITH THIS! For more than a day before I made that call, I wondered if I should be doing this at all! It was not an easy decision. Even walking into the building that afternoon I was nervous, doubting myself, and ready to turn around.

In the end I went. To a place that had maybe 4 or 5 women on staff, comfortable being on either side of a lap. I told the woman I had scheduled with: "Really new at this! Never done this before. So I'm a bit nervous."

And she was wonderful. Understood, explained everything. Made jokes. Spanked me otk and bare-bottom, and let me return the favor. And we were both all smiles!

It was fun! On the way out she introduced me to the other women working there, "This is A! It's his first time and I just had him over my knee! He's a nice guy." (That was a recommendation to them that I was OK to play with.) And they were all so nice. Asked me how it was, what happened, was my tush sore, was it hard, and - will you come back...?

Yes. And I did. Met one girl who became a favorite. One day after we did switch play I asked her if she was native Californian or from somewhere else? Somewhere else. "Where?" She lived 9-miles - from my boyhood hometown. We were neighbors!!

It was fun and I never had a bad playtime. (I should note that it is usually a 1-hour session. But later I always opted for 2-hours because I know I'm going to talk to them so much because THEY ARE SO DAMN INTERESTING! All of them have great stories and want to hear yours. Even though we only talk for that second hour, I still compensate them for their time. Or tip them REALLY well if we go over.)

It has been a while but would I go again? Yes.
Recommend you go if you are thinking of it? Yes.

And by the way, I know of two pro women; one with a client who brings his wife to be spanked/played with; the other who has a married couple visit with her and she does BOTH of them! Together!

So, recommend you go with your spouse? Yes! Neither of you will forget it.

Graham: Absolutely! When I was single, I visited many pros and got to know some of them fairly well. Never once had a bad experience, and it only got better as the pro learned more about you.

I took girlfriends with me on more than one occasion. They always had fun and liked the pro. We never had sex at the establishment, but things sure heated up once we arrived home!

Now that I've been married 20+ years, I've not returned to any pros. My wife has no interest in a joint visit, and things are so good at home that I have no reason to pressure her.

KDPierre: In a word, no. The money aspect would color things in a way that would be difficult for me to ignore. I get why some people do it and also why it may work for others, but I think there are enough people around for me who can take on that role without money changing hands. I'm not sure why money so negatively affects things for me, but it does with so many things. (We have a pool table right in the center of our living room, had it for decades, and in all that time my one rule for guests, [besides being careful with the felt and not putting drinks on it] has been: no money bets. I hate playing cards for money as well. Anything. Money just makes things...tainted.)

Hermione: I think that in cases where a partner simply won't agree to spank, it's acceptable to seek out a professional to do the job, as long as both parties agree to it.  I'm thankful that it isn't necessary for us. I would not care to be a professional spankee, but perhaps being a "Domme for a Day" might be fun.

ricky: Hi Hermione,
Long time no email from me. My fault. I've had to change residences recently and had no online access, but fortunately have now, and want to say hello and chat again, if that's OK.
Yes, I've been to professionals because of their very professionalism and accessibility. I found them all very courteous, instructive, compassionate, and in no way sadistic, nor cruel.
I am too timid to ask a woman I've become friendly with to spank me, let alone the other way
So spank me! (PLEASE!!!)

Those were awesome answers! Stay safe, everybody.
From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, April 4, 2021

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #377

Welcome to our weekly brunch. You are all invited to share your thoughts here. A comment that my dear friend Red made on a recent post was the inspiration for this week's topic. 

Would you ever consider going to a professional for a spanking? If so, what would be the circumstances? On the other hand, does the idea of being a professional spanker (or spankee) appeal to you?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, and all the hidden Easter eggs have been found, I will publish a summary of our conversation.

From Hermione's Heart

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Food for Thought

Since we are still socially isolating, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Yesterday Ron sent me some cute food-related pictures, and I just have to share them with you.


Bon appetit!

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, March 29, 2021

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 29

How would you spice up your spankings if you could?

Baxter: I have actually fantasized about going to a disciplinarian who would give me a real hard OTK spanking, the kind that you can't sit comfortably for several days. While we would talk about the spanking and the various implements and positions, there would be a bit of role play about something I did wrong and have to be punished for it. I have never had that kind of spanking and won't get it from my wife, who does spank me, but is vanilla about the subject.

Bonnie: Spice up our spankings, you ask? I feel like our spankings are already a triple decker habanero, cayenne, and vindaloo curry sandwich. I have little doubt my dear husband can conjure more heat (figurative and literal), but I never know what it will be until he serves it up.

Fondles: Ah, a fantasy partner would be ANY lead I'm watching at the moment in a period flick.

Jamie Fraser (Outlander), Ross Poldark (Poldark) ... heck, even Sister Julienne (Call the Midwife)

Morningstar: The early tease of Spring got my blood flowing again ... and my imagination! I would love - LOVE - to be spanked at the camp..... we have this clump of trees down by the creek and the fire pit ...... I would love to be tied between them and let Sir Steve run the gamut of toys we have... especially the whip.

Roz: Spankings nowadays are sporadic, quick and light. Therefore my fantasy spanking at the moment would be just more!

Simon: I've been enjoying spankings for over 40 years and in that time I've tried almost everything. Some favorites include being punished outdoors, being punished in front of a group, and punishing and being punished by a number of ladies. I can't think of an implement I haven't had used on me and whilst I dislike wooden spoons and heavy paddles I'm always ready to experiment. Of course there are some things I haven't enjoyed and probably won't try again. These include very strict bondage and being punished by another man which I tried at the behest of a lady.

QBuzz: Definitely being spanked in public and/or in front of others.

Wendel: We spank in Halloween costumes and we spank in the woods. Both are a spice all their own. Putting them together would probably be the next step. 

Jack: I had thought about being spanked in a woodshed. My wife's best friend has a farm, we visit often, there is a woodshed. I have been told it is not where you want a spanking. 

Red: I sometimes fantasize about meeting other spankos, like yourself. It could be just for a drink on a patio, and a get to know the people. However, Covid makes this even less possible. However, the best fantasy would be both of us bent over the couch, maybe the arms, facing each other, and our partner bares our bottom and we both get spanked by our partner. Love to do this with any spanko couple, including both men being spanked by their partner.

Barrel: My wife is in an exercise group with a leader who is several times divorced and quite active socially. I fantasize about my wife setting up a session involving her exercise leader. The two of them would explain, over lunch, their plan for the afternoon. First to spank me over their stocking-clad knees. After a thorough warm up, they restrain me over our bench and thrash me to their hearts content, concluding with a hard caning. 

KDPierre: My spice rack is pretty well-worn and I can't think of anything that hasn't been tried. At my age now, I am open to whatever, but find myself refining existing "recipes" rather than pursuing elusive novelties. LOL

Ronnie: Fantasy I have is to be spanked after a riding session, I would have to be correctly attired and so would he, I would have failed to impress in some way, or been disobedient or lazy not tending to my horse properly, something along those lines. It would perhaps have been a repeat offence for which I'd been warned and now I'd gone too far. He would deal with him firmly in the stable, bending me over a hay bale or something and giving me a sound cropping.

Rosco: I would love it (I think) if my Irene were to spank me in front of a friend or two, and perhaps give them a turn to whip my bottom. I could be the maid and serve them tea or, better yet, cocktails.

Other fantasies might take place in a women's locker room, where I am found as a Peeping Tom. Or perhaps I am caught filching Mrs. Robinson's panties from her clothesline.

Another builds on a real life experience when I was visiting and getting reacquainted with Maria, a former college girlfriend. Sitting in her living room, I could not help but look up the skirt of one of her roommates, who was wearing some very pretty pink panties. (Was the view intentionally provided? I will never know.). The third roommate noticed and suggested to Maria that they spank me for peeking. Sadly Maria laughed it off.

Irene knows this and engages enthusiastically in playing the roles of all the women who are spanking me for various reasons. My bottom is in fact rather warm from yesterday's obedience lesson.

But it seems very unlikely to ever happen. We are pretty private and she and I would not want to share TTWD with any of her friends. The only way I could imagine it happening is with a stranger that we met on vacation or something like that.

I am more than satisfied with the status quo.

Prefectdt: I would like to say that I have a list of things that I want to try as long as your arm but that could only be true if you were an Orangutan. So I will just pick one, that has been on my mind lately.

I want to be spanked in the wheelbarrow position, just to find out what it is like.

Graham: Being spanked by my wife in front of a like-minded audience would be a high. Also, having my wife take me to a a pro for a thorough whipping would be highly erotic. On the other hand, quite happy with what we have!

Hermione: I would love a real punishment scene. A lecture for something I'd done wrong (real or imagined) then OTK for a hand spanking, followed by the hairbrush and paddle, then corner time.

May all your wishes come true!

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #376

Welcome! I hope you had as good a week as I did. There's something about the disappearance of snow and the sighting of robins and crocuses that puts a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I seem to have much more energy too, and that make me think of this week's topic.

What could you do to spice up your spankings? Is there something you have always wanted to try? Perhaps a different implement or an unusual position comes to mind. How about a change of location, or a fantasy partner? The sky's the limit.

Have fun with this one and use your imagination. Please leave your response in the comments section below. Once everyone has had a chance to respond, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, March 25, 2021

You Had One Job

 See what happens when you don't pay attention to the job at hand.

Spankings for everyone, don't you think?

From Hermione's Heart

Monday, March 22, 2021

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 21

Do you have a humorous anecdote related to spanking?


I had so many stories I had to break this into a few posts. This is part 1.

Since I offered this brunch question to Hermione, some background.

This all began more than a year ago when I was really sick. Doctors and drugs every day, all of which led to my sleeping for a hour or two at night, then awake for another hour or two. And repeat. And repeat. During those times I was awake, to think about anything else, I often thought about spanking and tried to remember all the women I have spanked or been spanked by, or just anything humorous about spanking.

So, some humor....

We were getting ready to do some sexy-play and I asked if she would mind spanking me.
In an instant, eyes wide open and all excited, she came back with: "Want me to use your BELT????"
At another moment I MIGHT have said yes, but she seemed waaaaaay too eager to use that belt on me.
We settled for a simple otk, girl-spanks-boy - and vice versa!

I was out of college and the Army, finally home in years, my sister me tells the story of my born-in-Ireland aunt who visited in my absence. She tells my sister the time her father (so Ireland around the 1880's) had left the house to go to the local pub and got warned - "Only ONE!"
Several pints later.... He comes staggering home, into the house, past his now-pissed-to-the-brim wife, and fell into bed. Passed out from the drink.

His wife then got out her sewing kit and SEWED HIM UP INTO THE BED SHEETS!!
And then gave him a beating with a broom handle!

Not exactly a spanking, but still funny.

I had rented my beach house to a group of women, most in their mid-20's, for a bridal shower.
It all worked out great.
I get a thank-you note from the Maid of Honor telling me they had a great time.
I asked if they were able to use the outdoor upper deck and see the great sunsets?
She says they did, and included a group-photo - and a pic of the gifts they had for the bride-to-be. I took the image and enlarged it to get a better view, because something....

I think one of those "gifts" was one of those gag paddles with "Wife trainer" on one side and "Husband trainer" on the other, but it was very hard to tell.
I email her back.
"Is that a paddle among all those gifts? Oh, my, I do hope everyone behaved themselves!"
Her reply: "No comment!"
I'll let your spanko-minds take it from there.

I'm dating this girl who had zero interest in spanking, but would let me play-spank her if it was not hard, and she had no problem with having me otk when I wanted it.
We are out to dinner one night and I ask her, "How about tonight? You do me?"
We get back to her townhouse and her sister is in her car out front.
There goes my otk time until she leaves.
My GF’s sister was gifted with head-snapping beauty! I'm talking cover-girl beauty!
But she still has one glaring problem: Picking the men in her life.
She is horrible at that, with guys giving up because they would tire of her.
This was another one.
So it's sister-time and I stay out of the way as they talk.

I stay in the open kitchen. I can see my friend's face directly, and the back of her sister's head.
Yhey talk about why she has this problem with men, maybe she demands/expects too much, etc., etc.
At some point the drop-dead gorgeous sister says, "What I need is to be spanked."

I heard that!!!!!!!

My eyes go wide as dinner plates. Behind the sister's back I put my hands together in silent prayer as in a 16th century painting while silently mouthing, "Oh, please, oh, please, please, please...!"
Behind the sister's back!!

My friend shot me "the look." An unblinking look of fire, and death, and destruction, and "Don't you even think about it!"
I went to bed to leave them alone. The sister left sometime after 1AM.
We laughed about it the next day.
I held it against my friend that she would not let me "help" her sister at her obvious time of need. That was ruuuude!

Driving down a highway I pass this car. It then rushes up next to mine in the right lane, the driver honking the horn.
I'm all "What the hell...?"
And then notice - I know the driver!
A woman I worked with few years before; a cute blonde who didn't know or believe how cute she was.
She had recognized me when I passed her, caught up, and motioned for me to follow her to the first exit where we can talk and catch up.
I do. We talk for quite a while. And she says she is not as quiet a person as she was years ago.
Into a lot of stuff, and mentions going to a lot of rock concerts with her roommate.
She opens her wallet and shows me a pic of her and her roommate. BOTH are damn cute!
Tells me her roommate is just like her, socially, but also a bit kinky.
"Kinky? How"
"She likes to be spanked."

I about lost it! I told her that was not kinky, but sexy; and I'd love to spank her friend!
"You, too????"
Without going into a lot of detail I told her about my first spanking girlfriend who got turned on by being spanked; so yeah - it's sexy!
I told her if her roommate needed a 'spank-buddy' have her give me a call.
Never heard from her friend. Dammit.

At a nice bar one evening and in troops about five or six women, all in early 20's, cute, and all dressed up!
They were there to party because it was one of the women's 21st birthday.
And around the neck of the birthday girl, her friends had hung a sign that read: "I'm 21! Spank me!"
Did I mention how cute she was, with a tush everyone reading this would love to get their hands on...?

She stood at the bar wearing that sign, and you could come up and give her a small birthday smack to her cute tush! Neat, eh?
There was a catch: You had to buy the birthday girl or one of her friends a drink.

Cute tush, so - fair enough! I bought a drink and got to give the BD girl a little swat, just enough to make her giggle "Oooooh!"
Then I told her happy birthday, that she was cute, and I wished I could have spanked it a bit more. She thanked me for the compliment and laughed.

Then I spoke to one of the women who got the drink I had bought.
Me: "So. You're pimping out your friend's butt so the rest of you can get free drinks. Is that it?"
Her: "Pretty much. Yeah!"
And laughed!

Later I thought I should have offered to pick up the entire tab for all of them in exchange for me taking the BD girl otk (mine!) for all her 21+1 smacks. I don't know if the BD girl would have agreed to that, but I have NO DOUBT her party pals would have been enthusiastically all for it (i.e., alcohol was involved)! I'll never know.

It was a late February during a cold, miserable winter. I have "Had it!" with winter and make reservations for - Maui!
I'm with a "spank-buddy" (Spanks me, I spank her if it is light; no sex) and tell her I've had it with winter and I'm going to Hawaii, and that I'm going alone because the last time I took my GF she complained so much I vowed to never take her again."

Her: "God, I've never been there. I'd love to go to Hawaii."
Me: "Well, the room is already paid for, and I have the frequent flyer miles, so if you really want to go - here's your chance. Want to come with me?"
Here it comes:
She comes and hugs me, and whispers in my ear with a breathy Marilyn Monroe like voice: "For Hawaii, I'll spank you every day."
Spanked every day, even in paradise, was a bit much but - we went!

I will never forget hearing that sexy, "I'll spank you every day."

People I know in a spanking group of friends, telling stories.
A woman relates she and her husband were looking for a new home.
The wife wants go back and look again at two of the homes they liked.
She brings along her 3-year old daughter for whom life is at 100-MPH.
She tears though the first house in curiosity.
Mom finally notices, "Where is she...?"
They seqrch and see the girl's feet sticking out from underneath one of the racks of clothing in the master closet.
Mom and realtor push aside the clothes as the 3-year old looks, points, and says in wonder, "Look! They must have horses!"

Mom and realtor see a small rack of hooks holding implements that everyone reading this would immediately recognize, none intended for horses.
Speechless, the realtor finally says, "Suzie! Have you seen the bathroom? It has a tub so big you can swim in it!"
Girl runs off all excited.
Realtor looks at the mom and goes, "Kink-eeee...."
And the mom instantly thinks, "If you only knew..."

A woman in her late 30's/early 40's, yearns to either spank, be spanked, or both.
Summons up her courage and contacts the group.
Husband gets her email and responds.
She is very nervous about the whole thing.
Husband says that's normal, but how about you and my wife meet over coffee and you can talk and ask all the questions you want?


They meet. Questions asked and answered. Still nervous, the host wife offers she should come to their next get-together, look at how we play, you can meet people, no commitments. "I will be by your side all the time. If you decide it's not for you, you can say so - and leave!"

She shows up!

The wife host meets her at the door and personally shepherds her around, introduces her, "She's new! Be nice!" All is going well. They go into the kitchen where two couples are talking.
Wife-host: "You just have to meet this couple! They have been with us the longest and are the best people."
Comes up behind the couple, taps one of them on the shoulder. They turn around and...

Breath-taking silence. Eyes wide open silence. "Please earth; open up now and take me!" kind of silence.

The host: "Do you...know each other...?"

Still stunned into I-can't-talk silence. Finally the woman manages to say: "These are my - grandparents."

The host is now all "Oh, shit!" and backs away, saying, "Uhhhh, I think you have a lot to talk about..." and leaves them. (Coward.)

Dead silence reigns. Then grandma laughs out loud. Her arms wide open and laughing she embraces grand-daughter n a huge hug with grandpa right behind her. Because what else can you do?

In the end it turned out just fine. And as the woman telling this story said, "Guess who instantly became the favorite Grand-child!"

She was later invited to the grandparents home where she was shown the ultra-private and always-locked room in the attic, filled with "toys" and more the grandparents used on each other and with friends from that group.

It's an episode from the half-hour British comedy Coupling, a show much like "Friends" or "Big Bang Theory." In this episode, one of the guys discovers that his new GF, on her own, decided to thoroughly clean his apartment while he was out.

You will see the "Oh, no!" moment hit at the 4:42 mark. Copy and paste this link into your browser:

Right after that 4:42 moment the video will (annoyingly) stop to run ads, and then return to the episode. This will happen a couple times. And then you get to the 19:50 mark where a more detailed and embarrassingly funny discussion of spanking takes place!

Happy Spring, everyone!

Bonnie: I think I have posted most of my humorous spankings. I don't have a new one that immediately comes to mind, so I'll share this story from almost ten years ago. On this occasion, I wasn't the one who got spanked.

Roz: The humorous spankings that come to mind are the few occasions where an implement broke. On one particular occasion Rick was in full on lecture mode while wielding the cane, sounding serious etc and the cane broke. The mood was broken and we both ended up laughing. However, Rick quickly recovered and declared the cane was still usable and resumed spanking.

Barrel: The only one I can recall was when I secretly recorded one of our sessions, where the spankings are longer, very intense and I am restrained. It was a really good one where my wife vigorously wielded the strap. When she watched the recording, which almost triggered an encore, she laughed at how well she landed the strap with backhand strokes.

Ironically, we have a session planned for later today. If I can, I’ll try to take note if she is backhanding that strap again.

Prefectdt: There have been a few unexpected farts but I think that happens to all of us.

I was once being caned by a German lady, who unexpectedly started asking me about what I had seen in the news the previous day. When I told her the latest about a conflict, that was happening at that time, She gave me four extremely hard strokes accompanied by the phrase "Don't mention zee war".

That was the only time that I have heard a real life German use the word Zee instead of The. She was a big fan of Faulty Towers.

Ronnie: I found it funny. P was reddening my bottom with a wooden spoon and it split, I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, P wasn't too happy. We didn't resume the spanking.

Hermione: Once we had a phone call during a session. Ron stopped and we let it go to the answering machine, then resumed. It was my fault. I'd phoned my neighbour M to see what she needed from the grocery store, and she said she'd get back to me. 

So we started to think up excuses for why we hadn't picked up the phone. Out doing errands? No, our car was in the drive. In the crawlspace getting out decorations? Christmas was long past. Gone for a walk? She might have noticed we hadn't walked past her window. I called her back later and M didn't think to ask why I hadn't picked up, and I didn't volunteer. But now, we always laugh about it, and ask each other if M is going to call, or say let's hurry up so we're finished before M calls. 

Stay safe and keep smiling!

From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, March 21, 2021

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #375

Welcome to the first day of Spring here in the northern hemisphere. To celebrate the end of winter, our good friend A.J. suggested this cheerful topic to take our minds off the ever-present virus threat.

Can you tell us a humorous spanking-related story? Did something ever happen that made you laugh at the time? Do you have a funny anecdote that will make us all smile?

I can't wait to read your humorous anecdotes, so please leave them as comments below. Once everyone has had a chance to contribute, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation, with a suitable laugh track.

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, March 19, 2021

Friday FAIL

Let's have some fun with quotation marks, When they are added unnecessarily, they are called scare quotes. Using them casts doubt on the truthfulness of the word in quotes.


Stay safe, everyone!

From Hermione's Heart