Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 25

How many swats per spanking? You counted them!

Wendel: For hand spankings it is not about how many smacks but how long it lasts. Typically, between 2 to 10 minutes depending why the spanking is given. Not sure how many that adds up to, but the bottom is very sore after. For the paddle it is somewhere around 30 to 50 whacks. 25 to 50 whacks with the belt is typical. I tend to get a lot more then I give the Misses. We are not into canes so no numbers to report here. 

A.J.: Ha! It's my Q to Hermione!

The question came to me after reading last week's brunch question on how many times you had been over the knee getting spanked - as well at the number of times you provided the knee as a platform for someone else's bottom. That's when I wondered about the smacks per session; and what if I took that number and multiplied it by the number of sessions. What would that number be...?

First, years ago I saw a video of a 30-40-something woman spanking her guy. Clip was only 90-seconds long. She sat in the spanking chair as he dropped his trousers, he goes OTK, she immediately bared his bottom - and it began! Noticing something I watched and counted the smacks. In those 90-seconds about 88 FIRM swats from her hand. About 1-per second.

Question: How long do your spankings last? I'll bet it is more than 90-seconds!

The spanking wasn't over so I'm guessing there was more given to this guy; harder and faster, and her probably switching from hand to some implement. How many could he have received? A whopping 500?

Another spanking video, from Nu-West. This one was four women getting together, and one guy getting spanked - with a paddle - by all of them, one at a time. What caught my attention was just before the poor lad went OTK, each woman would pull back her short skirt showing a set of wonderful gams that even I would want to be over! I thought that was video artistry and emailed Ed Lee to say how much I liked it, and ask if that was in the script. Ed said no; the women were allowed to do whatever - but that was a common thing for the female models to do when spanking males. (Fun part: Ed told me two of the women were actually mother and daughter! Didn't say which.)

OTK the guy would go and get that paddle once a second. On a review I counted the swats. Each woman gave between 200 and 250 swats! Arithmetically, he got between 800 and 1,000 swats!! After the first two women you could tell he was really feeling it. The third added more, and by the 4th he was in real pain, and I'm thinking- "Not me!"

I would also watch and count the spanks. A nice spanking between BF & GF was about 1 per second.
How long are you/your partner OTK? 20-minutes? 1,200 seconds = 1,200 smacks? (OK; there are breaks in there, but still!!!)
For the more determined, "You need a good spanking!!!!" kind of spanking either sex - Double the pace. 120 per minute.
Beyond that is what I call "The Angry Girlfriend!"(Or BF.) Double it again. These are memorable. Mercifully, they are also shorter.

Second, I don't do or get "punishment" spanking. "Punishment" spankings are usually quick, fierce, and soon over. All mine are fun, erotic, and always led up to some horizontal testing of the mattress, if-you-know-what-I-mean-and-I-think-you-do.

If it is me spanking her? She will get about 200-225. Pink tush, tingling, and a smile on her face.
Her doing me? 225-250. Same result.

On other occasions and on the receiving end - easily 500. Result: a RED tush, tingle and tender, a smile, but a Glad-that's-over face.

If I had to guess an average - 300?

Times the number spankings I have been an active participant over the decades then - 300 x 250 = 75,000 "Are you effing kidding me!!" smacks?

I should have taken up tennis or golf.

I can't wait to see Jean Marie's response.

Rosco: I was just thinking about this question and thought about you asking it.

Lately Irene has stepped it up a bit and I’ll say 120 = 3 * 40.

It’s been the two tailed leather strap with the round handle (the round handle was hard to find).

I’ll get 40 strokes/spanks/lashes, then she’ll leave for after tying me to the bed.

After half an hour, Irene will come back, deliver another lecture and another 40 whacks.

She’ll come back a third time, administer another final spanking then a different kind of touching begins. There’s been surprisingly little variation as we’re both deeply satisfied (and exhausted) after.

Roz: That's a good question. I really don't know. I would guess 30 - 50

Anon: 40 with the razor strap is standard. Only variation is whether or not she believes the spanking bench is needed.

Jack: How many is not my wife/mommy's concern, it is how I react during the spanking that will determine how long it will last.

Prefectdt: Depends a lot on who is doing the spanking and how long it goes on, so I will do a guestimating for an average hour. Let us presume I get 20 minutes with toys that tend to be used at speed, hand horse batter, light flogger, things like that. They will usually come in at about 1 every 2 seconds, so that is about 600. Then there is the intermediary stuff, slippers, strap, belt, ETC. They could be anything from 6 to 15 swats per minute, let's say for 20 minutes again and call it an average of 10 deliveries, so that is about 200. And then we move on to 20 minutes with the harsh toys, cane, American paddle, birch and the like. If they are swung hard, I cannot handle more than five impacts a minute and that would be around 100. So as a very rough guess I would say about 900 impacts in an hour, but I think that could vary a lot. This is the first time that I have tried to work this out, It has made me think.

Bonnie: I don't like to answer, "It depends," but that is definitely the case here. Just five hard swats with a heavy paddle will leave me hurting a day later. On the opposite side, a recreational spanking with a light implement can go on for quite a while. I have no idea of the count, but it could easily be in the hundreds. In this situation, the pain dissipates fairly quickly, but the warmth, both emotional and physical, remains a while longer.

Jean Marie: I was puzzled by this question, so seeing some other spankos answers helped me.
From the previous brunch question on total spankings, hopefully we all agree that to be a legitimate spanking it ought to (at least) sting (though most go into hurt territory), and it ought to leave (at least) some evidence behind on the behind. To digress for illumination (& because talking about spankings turns me on), I have spoken with girlfriends who think they are "into spanking" because their boyfriends will administer a swat or two, just glancing blows, when they're doing it in the doggy position. In contrast, for me spankings are like potato chips; you can't have just one or two. If my lover is going to spank me during the dirty deed, I am going to need more than love pats. I need a butt-load of spanks to be sated and satisfied! At these exquisite moments, it is no longer clear which act is fueling my desire more. It seems to me that spanking is the vehicle that takes me to my Special Place, that place of fulfillment, of contentment. Submitting to the spanking is my natural expression of my identity, so that spanking naturally evolves out of that moment. Many of my spankings are just 20 to 50 spanks, especially if it is one delivered with an implement. Many of my spankings have been prolonged events that have gone on and on. The intent here is to wear me out, and, though I've never counted each blow, I am sure that such marathons amount to thousands of spanks. And I want, need, cherish, and appreciate each and every one of them!

Graham: Ours are generally 30 to 60 minutes with some rest. When she's on the bottom, probably not much over 100 to 200. With me on the bottom which is 90% of the time, it would typically run well into the 100's -- probably 500 would not be unusual. Many very hard strokes but only after a nice, long build up. Lots of welts but rarely any bruises.

Norse Cavalier:  I delivered a spanking to a young woman yesterday at a fetish party - my first spanking session ever, so I'm quite giddy and lightheaded today. It was wonderful!

By happenstance, I was wearing a fitbit on my right hand, which claims I took 5000 steps over the course of the spanking. I have no idea whether that figure is anywhere near the number of slaps (I wasn't focused on counting), but this was an experienced sub who seemed to have a high pain threshold, so I do wonder. It was a long OTK hand-spanking (25 minutes, according to my fitbit) with fast slaps, followed by her bending over a spanking horse and me applying a wooden paddle, leather paddle, strap and cane. She quite enjoyed it - and so did I. Quite a start to my fetish play!

KDPierre: Spankings for me are as varied as the spices in my kitchen cabinet.....which is three shelves full, or as varied as the booze in my liquor cabinet which is six shelves high. And yes the reason matters in numbers given, as does the person doing the spanking, and also the condition I'm in which determines how 'able' I am to take larger numbers. Also, as mentioned last time, if a single misbehavior results in a declared 1000 swat paddling, but that 1000 is done over three separate sessions, is that one spanking or three? Anyway, to just answer this question and to be clinically concise:

-Spankings can come from different people with different numerical objectives
-They can be playful, sexy, or punitive....all of which affect number though playful CAN mean an even higher number than a punishment because the smacks will be lighter.
-They can be for something, nothing, or as a warning.....also contributing to number
-Hands are never used on me.....since it would be pointless, so all are done with an implement the most typical being a sturdy lucite paddle with enough heft to sting even with a mere wrist flick
-not one person who spanks or has spanked me, ever believed in warm-ups of any kind......even if the purpose was playful
-A low end punitive spanking would be 50 very hard ones, which would be this low due to it being a warning, or possibly being a second over a very sore and sensitive bottom, or just because time is short. But like I said, if it is just going to be 50, they are going to be fairly full-force swats.
-A high end spanking of any kind could be 1000+ for various reasons, and while not typical, nor is such a number exceptionally rare
-An effective median punishment range would be a minimum of 250 and a maximum of 500-600
-due to the extreme variation in purpose and execution, I don't think one could cite an "average" for me. Each one is a case-by-case situation.

Alan: Probably a range of 50 -75 when wood is being used, More and maybe a lot more if its one of those " I own your ass" spankings. With the strap, its fewer, maybe 40 - 45. She doesn't use a cane very often , so maybe 20 - 30. The cane is usually used only after wood or the strap have been applied.

Ava: This question is more challenging. My husband uses a crop, two floggers, a loop, a large leather paddle, a large thin wood paddle, a small thick wood paddle, a bath brush, a cane, and a tawse (one of his favorites). There’s no prescribed number of strikes, and I do lose count when it gets intense. The more painful implements like the cane and the bath brush are used fewer times (thank goodness!), around 10 to 15 each. The others are used for longer, especially the leather ones. I tend to make a lot of noise and if I’m really loud it seems like he switches to something else. The exception is he always finishes with the small red wood paddle used pretty firmly, and he will pause and then start again with that several times. With all that it has to be at least a hundred strikes if not quite a bit more!

Hermione: When we used to do spankings as a separate activity, it wasn't the number of swats, it was a timed event. No matter when we started -- 4:30 or shortly after -- it was over at 4:45 on the dot. So I could delay slightly in order to receive fewer swats. Still, it averaged about 15-20 swats per implement times four implements, repeated four times or more.

Now that spankings are generally foreplay, it's about 10-15 swats from each of four implements, repeated three times, so about 240 per session.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #493

Welcome one and all to our weekly spanko brunch. Today's topic was inspired by our good friend and regular brunch attendee A.J., who has had some wonderful spanking experiences.

How many smacks does your average spanking consist of? Does the number vary depending on the reason for the spanking?

Please leave your response as a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to recall fond memories and count silently to themselves, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Turn on the Heat

I'll be in the kitchen baking today. Sure, it's 30 degrees C outside and the air conditioner is blasting away, but needs must. we're out of cookies! So the oven is preheating and I have a few moments to spare before the first batch goes in. Enjoy these past baking fails with me.

A bum-shaped loaf; very creative.

That dough has proofed way too long.

Oops! Forgot to roll up the crescent rolls.

Plastic in the oven is a no no!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 18

How many adult spankings in total have you participated in?

Jean Marie: At first reading, I dismissed the question. That'd be like trying to count the stars in the night sky! But then curiosity got the better of me, and I started to calculate.

I got my first adult spanking at age 19 in college, I'm 34 now, so that's 15 years worth. This past year I've been with the man I hope will soon become my husband. He spanks me frequently, sometimes for fun, sometimes for punishment, often as foreplay. There have been many occasions when I've been spanked hard twice in one day. When that happens, we often take a break from kink the following day. There was a stretch of time when I was super unhappy (right after we moved across the country), when spanking was the only good thing in my life, and I begged Robert to indulge in spanking me daily. We've just recently opened our relationship up to sharing our bed with a female switch, so on some weekends I get a spanking from both partners on Saturday night and another two spankings on Sunday. So, a realistic, conservative total for this, my 34th year is 475 spankings.

The year before I was solo, didn't want to hook-up unless it was with someone who showed real promise for being "the one." But I did self-spank a lot! I debated whether to count this, but I always spanked myself hard enough to do some damage, that is hard enough to arouse my libido to follow the spanking with masturbation. I'd realistically total that year at about 200 spankings.

The year before that I was in a committed relationship with a wealthy gentleman. I did not work because he wanted me to be free and at his disposal (to travel, attend functions as his date). He most often spanked me in the morning when we awoke, in the mid-afternoon, and before going to sleep at night. I can recall many occasions when I got many more than three spankings a day. I easily received well over 500 spankings that year with Kyle.

In my twenties and later I was serial monogynist. When I couldn't find a suitable Top, I'd try to create one. I'd bring a guy home from a brunch, lunch, or dinner date and we'd make love. I'd ask him to rate the love-making afterward. The guy would generally rate it an eight or a nine, often saying there was no such thing as a ten. I'd respond that for me it was a six, and I knew a way that our next session would surely be a nine for both of us. Intrigued, he'd ask how, and I'd request for him to spank me, usually providing my hairbrush to insure that it'd be hard enough. He'd spank, I'd get super aroused and they'd often tell me that this sex was a full-on ten if not an eleven! I'm sure I got at least 200 spankings per anum for these years, totaling over a decade.

By my calculations my deserving derriere has weathered well over 3,700 spankings. (And counting, I hope to get another barn-burner of a blistering soon!!!!) I'll be curious to see how others tabulate their answers. It is not a competition; I think I'm something of a maniac when it comes to getting my tushy tanned. It was more fun than I thought it would be, and reminiscing turned me on (tremendously).

Dan: A very rough, probably way-off guess is 228. I arrived at that through the very unsophisticated method of multiplying the number of years we've been doing this (I think it's about 19) by a frequency averaging about one per month. The reality is the frequency varies a lot. For example, I had two just last week. But, there have been phases in which a couple of months might go by without one. My reaction to the 228 calculation was that it seems overly conservative, but I don't have any better way to estimate it.

Bonnie: This question started with a bit of napkin math. 40 years x average of 50 spankings / year = ~2000 total spankings. These spankings run together in my memory, as you might imagine, but this number seems reasonable.

When I shared this estimate with Randy, he replied, "You're a bad girl."

I guess that explains it.

Fred: I started adult spanking in my early 20s, I am now nearly 70! Probably had at least one spanking a month: so about 750. 

Wendel: Let me try to calculate. 20*((365+1)*14-Xn2)*πR+3. Shoot, I forgot to carry the 1. . . . Skip it. I will just leave it as a lot. 

Graham: Fun question! Am guessing at least 500 but less than 1,000.

Rosco: Very roughly 5000. 43 years times 3 days per week.

Roz: Oh gosh, I don't know. A very rough guess would be around 460? 18 years, roughly fortnightly.

Rich Person: This is obviously a SWAG, but I'd say on the order of 150, if you take "spanking" to mean "corporal punishment", broadly.

Actual spankings (hand to bottom), probably more like a dozen.

One of the earliest was in the mid-Seventies. That doesn't seem like a lot over that many years, but I guess I'd say that I've used them judiciously.

Ava: At least twice a week for 8 1/2 years, so best estimate: 884! 

A.J.: "...the total number of adult (key word) spanking sessions in which you've participated (also key)?"

"Participated," as in giving AND receiving. (And to Jean Marie's Q on whether self-spanking counts - I'd say if your intent was to make it real and you did - then it counts.)

A heck of a question, but a fun one!

I only spank/get spanked for the sexy fun of it. Not rituals or schedules. While spanking always fascinated me as a horny teen, I also thought it perverted and NEVER did it! Until I was in my 20's and dating a wonderful girl who also thought it was perverted, but finally came out to me that loved to be spanked. And thus began a wonderful relationship.

The always-fun and sexy otk sessions were frequent. A few months later she flipped and announced - "Your turn!", and I had to go otk! Her first time spanking a man (or woman as far as I know), and my first time on the receiving end!

And she loved it! From then on - no one's bottom was safe!

Spanking was then, at least, a weekly event. Until she moved away and I was bottom and lapless. And sad. The next few women in my life had no interest; or if they did, it was OK only "If it's not too hard...!" That was not my interest, so no woman ever got off my lap angry, cursing or hating me.

So how many? I have no clue, but THINK it could be...250? And most of those with my first spanking GF who possessed one of the MOST spankable bottoms I have ever seen!

In closing, to Jean Marie, who wrote: "We've just recently opened our relationship up to sharing our bed with a female switch..."; let me add that BF Robert is - one lucky son-of-a-bitch!!! The mental images of that...!

Prefectdt: My answer to your question is simply, no I can't. My spanking life has been so inconsistent over the years. There have been times when I have been spanked more than once a week and times when there have been months between spankings. And two periods when I did not get spanked for years. There is no way I could even estimate an average number of spankings for a one-year period and work it out from that. I am happy to report that I have had enough spankings to have lost count of the number, many years ago :)

Barrel: I have tried to do the math but that outcome seems too high. So, I’ll speculate around 500. But considering that is over 45 years, that feels too low. Unfortunately, the pace seems to slow as the years pass.

KDPierre: I have no clue. Life is erratic and I'm terrible at math. However, one thing that struck me reading the other responses was some claims of frequency. It occurred to me that what constitutes a spanking has a considerable effect on frequency. For example if one is getting multiple spankings in a day or week, I have to wonder at their severity. For example, just the other week, Rosa punished me so hard she broke her lucite paddle on me....not an easy thing to do......and left me with a very raw abraded area that took about a week to even just partially heal. She wanted to do another about a week later and I still so tender that I could barely handle it and she stopped after a short, but still hard reminder......and also because she was afraid of ruining the healing process on that one nasty spot.

I guess what I'm saying is that it seems a bit inaccurate to equate a 25-50 swat hand spanking to a hard paddling of 500 swats or more. It's like 10 50 smack spankings would equal one 500 spank session in actual pain and yet the prior person could claim they were spanked more than the latter person by a factor of 9! Also, if a single punishment is set at a 1000 spanks and those have to be given over 2 to 3 separate sessions does that count as one multipart spanking, or three separate spankings? It's enough to make a non-mathematical person's head spin! ;-)

Also, on occasion, Rosa likes a series of pretty hard hand spanks as part of rough sex. Her butt ends up pink and even my hand stings from the force used, but in my head I wouldn't consider that a spanking. But maybe others here would?

Anyway, I've been doing this for 44 years on both the giving and receiving end, so......I'm going to join some others and answer this question in nonnumerical terms and just say: "a lot".  

Hermione: We've been enjoying spanking for 37 years, approximately once a week. Multiply that by 52 weeks in a year, round down to allow for some missed opportunities, and that gives me a total of 1,900 trips to the woodshed. Wow!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #492

This weekend Ron and I are celebrating a special anniversary. It was 37 years ago that we began our spanking adventure. Coincidentally, our dear friend Bonnie suggested a topic that is very appropriate for the occasion.

Can you estimate the total number of adult spanking sessions in which you've participated?

Get out your calculators or borrow some fingers and toes and start counting. Once you have arrived at an approximate figure (or an exact one if you're that obsessive) I will publish the results.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Over the Desk is gone

One of my favourite go-to sites for spanking stories is gone. Over the Desk featured school stories in which the slipper and the cane were prominent, but also had domestic spanking stories of various kinds. In addition, there was a separate set of true life spankings, most of which, I suspect, were fantasies or a stretch of a real occurrence, but entertaining nevertheless. I'm hoping that they just haven't paid the bill and the site will be back up soon.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

What will they think?

We regularly get calls from charitable organizations, asking for donations of gently-used clothing and household items, and I always have something to donate. I pack a box of unwanted items, leave it on the doorstep on the designated day, and it is picked up by a volunteer driver. 

So last week I was looking for unused items and came across some paddles from Cane-iac. They were part of a gift set of twelve implements in a red Christmas stocking -- the twelve days of pain, I think it was called -- but I had never shown them to Ron. The Cane-iac site is down now, but this is close to what they looked like:

One was white and the other was pink, and both were made of some sort of thick, rigid plastic-like material. No thank you, not on my butt! I decided they had been in hiding long enough and popped them into the giveaway box. I even left the Cane-iac tags on the handles:) I wonder what the people at the distribution centre thought when they opened that box.

Does anyone remember Mrs Betty? She was a dominatrix and former blogger who worked in a thrift shop. She would have been delighted to find my discarded pain sticks.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 11

Single or multiple implements? Here's what you said:

Roz: It varies, typically a spanking will include the hand and one or two implements, including a leather paddle and more recently a paint stirrer. Man those things hurt!

KDPierre: Here it's usually one: a homemade Lucite paddle custom made to Rosa's preferences. However, since we, as likely most lifestyle people, have an arsenal of sorts, other things DO manage to get the dust spanked off of them now and again though still one at a time. Sometimes, though rarely and not in a while, we will use a combination of said paddle with a strong finishing off with a White Lightning switch from A&G, which really is more like a short cane than the typical cut switch. Even Nickki has used this combination on me.

One time, however, about 12 years ago, Rosa and I did do a fun game where we did a spanking in every room in the house from basement to attic, with a different implement used in each location. So I guess that maxxed out our total used in one session at 10. 

Jack: The bathbrush hangs in the bedroom, and is my wife's instrument of choice.

Bonnie: Roughly speaking, we have two sorts of spankings at our house. The first is a quick skirt-raiser where just one implement, usually a small paddle, is used. It's an attention-getter, reminder, wake-up call, change of pace, and/or refresher lesson.

The other spanking is more involved. Cecil B. DeMille would be proud. It's quite literally a production - lights, camera, pain. Randy enjoys applying multiple implements to intensify the experience for me, and he's very good at it. For example, he'll follow the paddle (which generates a deep hurt) with a cane or a spoon (which inflames more at the surface level). The result is a more complete and lasting impression.

I don't know the maximum number of implements used in one session. It's a lot. There have been times when he's dragged out the toy chests. Just because he calls it a "test" doesn't make it hurt any less from my end. 

Barrel: We too, have two different levels of spankings. While both are preludes to intimacy, the first type is usually her hairbrush, or occasionally a hard black plastic paddle.

The second is a long-planned session where many toys will be employed. Those begin with several days of mental preparation, a lunch or appetizers out where she will tell me, within earshot of others, what she has planned, how long and how intense the session will be. I am expected to lay out all of our implements which total 8 for her selection. While each session is different, she always uses the strap (her favorite), crop, tawse and finishes with the two delrin canes. So 5 implements.

We are on a hiatus as I recover from surgery, but that doesn’t mean we both don’t miss those sessions. 

Graham: We fit in with Bonnie and Barrel. Short often means one implement or possibly hand plus one. Longer sessions can involve a dozen or more. Yes, we have lots of fun!!!

Rosco: Usually 2 or 3, but I don’t usually see them and sometimes I’m not sure.

Except when I’m sent to cut a switch, everything is pretty much leather, but there’s the green leather paddle, at least two straps, a riding crop and a quirt (from Teskey’s, highly recommended).

I think Irene has on a few occasions used everything she can find. And I usually get spanking 2 or 3 times, a half hour apart or so, as foreplay.

Hermione: I always feel the effects of four. Ron chooses three from a rack on the wall of our spare room, and I get to pick one from a box stored under the bed. He then uses them in rotation, so I experience different sensations in rapid succession.

What a variety of answers! Next week, a special anniversary topic, so do come back for more.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #491

My goodness, it's been an interesting week south of the border. I won't say anything more, lest I ruffle some feathers. So enjoy a chocolate glob and get comfortable.

Does your usual spanking consist of a single implement being used, or more than one? What is the maximum number of implements ever used in a single session?

Please leave your response as a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

A Pot Pourri

It's mid-morning, but outdoors it seems like twilight. Canada is experiencing hundreds of forest fires, and although none are close to us, the air is filled with haze from the fires. It smells smoky and there is an air quality alert. Best to stay inside and find something interesting to do. Any suggestions?

The baby bunnies have dispersed and there has been no sign of any of them or their parents since. The garden thanks them!

Speaking of gardens, our tiger lilies are flourishing. For many years they were plagued by lily bugs, small orange beetles that chewed the leaves and ruined the flower buds before they opened. This year there has been no sign of them. Climate change, thank you :)

In blogging news, I have been getting comments flagged as spam. They aren't, though. It's the work of the Blogger bots, ferreting out comments that are many years old from valid readers saying things like "Happy birthday", "Cheers", or "Wow". I sigh just republish them.

In keeping with today's gardening theme, I hope you enjoy these bum-shaped offerings.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 4

How did you finish the sentence "Two spankings in one morning is _____."

Midwest reader: Unpleasant, but presumably warranted! 

Wendel: Two spankings in one morning is going to wake you more than two cups of coffee. 

Roz: One way to wake you up and start the day.

 KDPierre: Two spankings in one morning are HEAVEN compared with getting two separated by several hours or a full day!

THE absolute best way to teach me a true lesson with a genuine punishment, is to spank me hard (naturally) until I'm good and sore, and then, let's say a day later, give me another on top of my still sore butt. IT IS THE WORST! 

Jack: Two spankings in one morning means only one thing, my attitude got me in trouble not only with my wife, but my mother-in-law also. 

A.J.: Two spankings in one morning is (can be) BEARABLE...?

Heck, I got two cheeks, amiright?

For the side note portion:
When I was a kid my farther took a stick to the bare bottoms of me, my brother, and my sister. Then he yelled at us. And then he did it all over again! To already sore and throbbing bottoms. I really resented it as unnecessary as it was excessive.

He died a few years later. I have almost no memories of him. But I have that one. I wonder how he would feel knowing the only memory his first son has of him is violence?

Bonnie: Here are my bottom ten responses to fill in the blank.

      Two spankings in one morning is…

10. Two cheeks twice toasted
9. A warm all-day reminder
8. Exactly what I deserve sometimes
7. The ouch on the couch
6. Remarkably persuasive
5. A good start to the day
4. Wonderful except for the sitting
3. Where tough meets tender
2. Pain with a purpose
1. The salary of snark

To answer your question, I made a joke that could be perceived as unkind and after being paddled, I unwittingly doubled down by trying to explain myself. It hurt, but I know I deserved it.

Ronnie: Just what I wanted.

Hermione: Two spankings in one morning is not on the schedule.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #490

Today's brunch is a throwback to the popular "Finish this Sentence" feature that has sadly fallen by the wayside here. Our dear friend Bonnie had an amazing suggestion for one, and I couldn't resist.

Two spankings in one morning is _____. (Feel free to elaborate if you wish.)

I hope Bonnie will share where she got that inspiration! Please finish the sentence by leaving a comment, and I will publish your submissions on Monday.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine