Fun with Grammar

A mixed bag of spelling and grammar errors for your entertainment.

 

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 21

What emotional traits are important in a spanker?

Mark: Any spanker is a great spanker! I like strict when being punished. Like being lectured etc. However but being mocked or teased is also fun. Wanting to be spanked is a bit odd to many people and my wife certainly has no desire to be on the receiving end... as such she can very effectively mock. It feels loving and I do like it.

Roz: Great question. For me it depends on the situation and set up. Whether the spanking is punishment, to reinforce roles or play. For me the demeanour needs to suit the situation.

Strict and lighthearted and light teasing works depending on the situation. Humiliation does not work for me.

FL: I'm all about maternal discipline, so a strict, no-nonsense approach is my ideal, with plenty of scolding. Post-spanking, I like being comforted and cuddled and knowing I'm loved and forgiven (until next time).

I don't care for humiliation or ridicule. 

Jack: My wife/mommy is nothing but strict. She will not be anything else and does not matter if someone or others are present.

KDPierre: As stated here before, I see "spanking" as a multi-faceted activity with many different flavors, motives, goals, and feelings at different times. So, 'yes' to all of it...but not at the same time. 'Strict' is great for our DD aspect. It helps for Rosa to be serious and consistent. A bit playful and mischievous is also great for the more playful times.

But the teasing/humiliation aspect is complicated for me. Having my situation pointed out in a teasing way can be deliciously embarrassing. Being scolded in front of others or having an impending or past punishment told to others is embarrassing in a different way, but I feel a necessary part of the disciplinary package and still something I appreciate...if not in the moment then after. Teased about how sore I'm going to be, or how sore I am, is also OK. BUT, if it was something like: "You are so immature and worthless that you can't even function like an adult and I have to treat and spank you like a child." said in a derisive, condescending tone, I would be very hurt, and feel angry and upset, and probably end up in a nasty argument. Thankfully, the last example is something that doesn't happen here. 

Rosco: Thanks for posting this question.

While I crave, relish and savor the sensation of a good spanking, it’s not the same without the role play. (Irene and I aren’t serious about it - if she were truly angry, the last thing she’d want to do is spank me.)

Often, Irene crafts a scenario as she goes along based on stories I’ve told her about growing up ogling girls, trying to get furtive glimpses of panties and generally being too shy to talk to them. In these stories, I’m still Rosco, but she plays many parts both older women (neighbors, teachers et al) and girls my age or thereabouts.

The older women will be strict, no nonsense types. If I’m in a mood to have Irene dial up the intensity, I will resist, claim I didn’t do anything wrong. She does enjoy playing the bossy, bitchy martinet and giving me a good thrashing (I like to make it hurt, she has confided).

Often, she’ll leave me tied up after a spanking and encourage the girls to come find me. Irene will change clothes and play other roles, this time mocking, teasing and giggling as she spanks me again - telling me how embarrassed I should be, that she’s going to take pictures and show all her friends. I’ll be serving as her pussy boy going forward.

(We’ve never engaged in the small penis or sexual inadequacy teasing that is prevalent in some corners of the internet and real life I assume.)

On the whole I really appreciate it when the girls laugh as they spank me. Go figure.

Graham: So much variety! Strict and scolding for "punishment" spankings. Otherwise, fun spankings have lots of scenarios. But neither of us is into any real humiliation. 

Bonnie: What I prefer is typically a secondary consideration. My role is to accept what he delivers, and I do. If he's headed my way at a high rate of speed and holding a wooden hairbrush, I know this will be punishment. If he gives my bottom a quick pop with his hand while we are kissing, He has other things in mind. These variations or anything in between are usually fine, if not always what I expect.

Prefectdt: I like a spanker who knows how they like to do it and concentrate on doing that way, the best that they can. Variety is the spice of life, and experiencing different styles of coercion and control only adds to the fun.

A.J.: "...a spanker who is strict? Who mocks, embarrasses, laughs or teases? Or is their emotion not important?"

I'm with Roscoe's 1st and last paragraphs. I only (give or get) for sexual reasons. All the spankings in which I participate in lead to "ROMANCE!" (Yes; I'm being polite.) And I never do punishment.

Strict? As role play, OK.
Mocks? For real? No.
Embarrasses? Me/her? No.
Laughs? At the situation? Enjoying the moment? Yes! Deprecating laughter - no.
Teases? Sure!

Emotion? It's all emotion. If there is no emotion it is cold and heartless.
To me.

Hermione: I love strictness, but laughter has its place too. It all depends on the situation. But a big NO to any form of humiliation, which Ron would never do.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #549

Welcome, everybody, you're just in time for our weekly discussion. Our good friend Rosco sent me a series of questions, so let's start with the first one.

Do you prefer a spanker who is strict? Who mocks, embarrasses, laughs or teases? Or is their emotion not important?

Please leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 14

Are your spankings in need of some variety?

Jack: Never truly the same, over time my spankings have brought on more... As for the actual spankings, yes always over my wife mommy/lap, moved on from the hairbrush to the bath brush... She reminds me that I seem to find news ways to get in trouble and so she finds new ways to address it...  Been spanked in a hotel room and knowing others will hear and will look at me.

Rosco: It’s been 44 years, so there’s been a lot of change - but week to week the physical part changes little. The role play changes a lot, at least for Irene. She’s always assuming different characters - age, profession, nationality, accent but my transgressions change less.

Mostly she drives that bus so to speak. Once in awhile I develop a scenario and write her a letter, ostensibly from a woman or girl that explains to Irene what she caught me doing. Irene will take from there.

The most recent physical change is not spanking but the ensuing cunnilingus - normally reverse cowgirl. As Irene’s wrists have weakened, she now leans on a small gardening bench/stool that we bought for the purpose. A bit of an odd to bring into the bedroom but we haven’t missed a beat.

Roz: Our dynamic has gone through many changes over the years so the circumstances surrounding a spanking, set-up etc have changed a lot over the years from scheduled maintenance spankings which included some ritual to impromptu, erotic and light BDSM play. Nowdays they are slightly more routine but never quite the same as position, intensity and implements change.

Spanky53: For me and my partners I think our spanking play continues to evolve. We've never been into roleplay, but the style and intensity always varies. We do change up how we use implements or location as often as possible. But the reality each time is unique because the energy we come to the play with is the key component to how we play. 

KDPierre: Our interactions have evolved and the others "in the know" have changed as well, which always brings new possibilities into the mix. Always keep moving forward!

Bonnie: I am married to a man who lives for variety, especially when it comes to my spankings. As I've documented, we do a lot of experimenting. The primary commonality is that my bottom hurts a lot when he's done.

We have a few familiar templates, like the midday hem-hoister or the Friday night special, but even within these familiar routines, there are numerous permutations involving timing, duration, intensity, scenario, implements, dress, location, technique, tone, position, dialogue, rituals, restraint, video recording, corner time, and many more courtesy of his devious spanko mind.

My short answer is no. Even after many years, there are still plenty of surprises.

Wendel: A bare bottom spanking or paddling in the kitchen will never get old. We do have enough variety that the spankings do not get boring. 

Barrel: While we have a normal rhythm that might seem a bit regular, we do add variety through the build up, number of implements she employs, duration, severity, scolding, wardrobe for each of us and location. And when I am getting thrashed, it hardly seems boring.

Graham: Wow! I never tire of getting spanked, and I suppose each one is somewhat similar as the others but never exactly the same.

Yes, we do play lots of games and mix things up. Plus, a plethora of different instruments, butt plugs, dildos, lingerie, etc. keep things fresh.

No complaints here!

Hermione: ours always follow the same pattern, except for the choice of implements. We are both comfortable with routine, so I'm not bothered by the lack of variety or spontaneity.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #548

Welcome back, one and all. It's great to see friends, old and new, gather here regularly for a spanking discussion. Regular schedules and predictable events are an important part of life. But can there be too much of a good thing?

Do your spankings seem like the same old, same old? Are they usually pretty much the same each time? What are your suggestions for adding some variety to your activity?

Leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spankings are Wonderful

Of course we all knew that!

A big thank you goes out to Norse Cavalier for sharing this with us.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 7

Dressed or completely undressed? That was the question.

Anon: Yes. Always. It may start with a short skirt, but ultimately...!

That goes for me, too, when it's "my turn" (but without a skirt.)

Bonnie: It depends upon the circumstances. For routine spankings, I just hoist my hem to expose my bottom. For our special Friday night spankings, I may dress up or undress down depending upon the scene that Randy chooses.

Mark: Yes for me, always naked. 

Dan: For me, always naked. She's always fully clothed.

Rosco: Sometimes I’ll be naked, sometimes Irene will put me into panties or a frilly nightie. (While she quickly got into spanking 40+ years ago, it took her longer to appreciate feminization as part of my discipline - but now she’s fully into it.)

Once in a great while I could be wearing a shirt but never pants or, god forbid, socks.

Irene usually wears a dress or skirt, sometimes changing two or three times for a second round of spanking or the ensuing cunnilingus and intercourse.

B: I'm always required to be completely naked from the waist down. This is for a time before, during, and after the spanking. I'm allowed to leave a shirt on if I want. A thong is usually the required bottom half attire for the rest of the day, It's a good reminder that she could give me a meaningful whack at any time.

Wendel: We are a big fan of pulling pants down and baring the bottom for spankings but there are times when the spankee strips naked. We find corner time after a spanking is more arousing for both if the pants are down.
The last few mountain hikes we have made ended with the Misses stripping naked and getting spanked/whipped.
And..for Halloween we dress up in costumes. It is fun to spank Cinderella. 

Norse Cavalier: She's usually wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and over the course of the spanking, I pull her jeans and panties down. I like to start over the seat of the jeans, but it always ends on her bare bottom. I've never given a spanking to a naked woman.

Roz: It depends on the circumstances. Sometimes I an naked, sometimes just in lingerie or fully clothed with jeans down or skirt raised.

Prefectdt: That mostly depends on who is spanking me, I usually let them decide. For my own desires, I do like to be wearing at least a man thong. There do seem to be a lot of women in the world who enjoy the humiliating scenario of CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male). I do like it when most of the clothing stays on, though. There is nothing so wonderfully humbling, as having to shuffle about with your trousers and underpants around your ankles.

Jack: When I have as my wife/mommy been a very naughty little boy, the spankings are always when I'm naked. I will either go to the bedroom, remove my clothing, get my jammies out and lay on the bed and wait, or if she wants to insure I learn my lesson, she has me undress in the front room, scolds me, then applies the bath brush. If others might drop in, the spanking is still applied. The bedroom, means once the spanking is over, I must put on my jammies no matter time of day, means I'm grounded, going to bed early, and getting a bath prior to bedtime.

Barrel: Most of the time, I am naked unless the spanking is a daily warm up to a planned session. In those cases, I am bare below the waist for the time it takes to provide ample notice what is coming in the next few days. No intimacy, just the hair brush or paddle. During such a session, I may be required to wear panties or hose to add humiliation to the thrashing. However, regular spankings I am sans clothing.

Alan: For a formal "punishment spanking," the command is "strip," and I am nude from the start, clothes neatly folded; for most else, I am naked below the waist before it begins, although underpants may be at knees or ankles; for the rare "on the spot spanking," usually only my bottom is bared, with other clothing left in place.

Donn: It depends upon the circumstances and location.

For inside our house, if the chastisement is "on the spot" (close in time and location to the transgression), my wife will direct me to strip below the waist and grab my ankles.

For other, more formal or pre-planned punishment sessions, my wife has always required me to be completely naked. (The only exception is that sometimes she requires me to wear a nylon safety strap around my waist, supporting both ends of a nylon and high-density foam strap (like a thong) that protects my coccyx, separates my cheeks, and widens into a front-pouch to hold and keep my genitals up-and-out of the line of fire. She has no desire for a high-strike, or wrap-around of my inner-thighs, to contact anything "critical.")

My wife is always dressed when raising my self-discipline. I personally like if she wears a skirt or dress (or particularly, a nightgown), but timing and weather seem to be determinative.

Graham: Rarely naked at the start, but always naked at the end! The clothing usually comes off gradually. If I'm told to strip immediately, I'm likely in more trouble than I'd like!

KDPierre: Nearly always naked for me with her clothed, unless it's really cold in the house. LOL I'm not even sure how this started, but now it's just sort of an automatic thing. 

Hermione: I usually remove everything below the waist for a spanking, then the rest comes off for intimacy.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #547

Welcome to another spanko brunch. Today's topic was submitted by an anonymous reader in the early days of my taking over the weekly hosting of brunch. I thought it was worthy of a repeat, and I hope you do too.

When you engage in spanking, is the spankee naked? If so, is this a requirement or an option? If not, what else is the spankee usually wearing?

Everyone is encouraged to join in the discussion, and you may remain anonymous if you wish. Leave your thoughts as a comment, and I will publish an edited summary after everyone has had a chance to speak their mind.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Butts Galore!

Our good friend Wendel and his Misses saw this booth while visiting an exhibition recently. Apparently Butts on Things is, well, a thing! Featured here are butt pins, so you can even wear your butt on your sleeve.

Visit the Butts on Things site and browse to your heart's content.

Thank you, Wendel.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 30

Does your spanking ever include an "evening up"?

Rosco: Irene is spontaneous. She probably evens up but doesn’t thing about it.

When she’s used switches or birches or certain whips, sometimes the wrap around on the far side gets the brunt of the action - she doesn’t like to leave much in the way of welts or bruises. But mostly she’s been using a leather strap or paddle and things come out pretty even.

Let me add that some implements whack only one cheek at a time. Irene’s leather paddle, most hair brushes, the hand etc. 

Irene’s strap inflicts a pretty equally across both cheeks. So would a sorority/fraternity style paddle I imagine.

Switches and riding crops tend to be more severe on the far cheek, but it depends on how they’re used.

Overall right-handed spankers may therefore end up concentrating more on the right cheek under normal positioning. Some photos of severe discipline on the internet will show such results from caning for example. In our case the difference is slight.

KDPierre: I'm confused. Wouldn't adding extra to one side "uneven" things up?

Anyway, to answer the question.....no. We do equal numbers 'while spanking cheek to cheek'.

Roz: In general Rick spanks evenly as a matter of course rather than a deliberate action I think. There has been the odd time he has added extra to one side, but it's generally been done in a lighthearted way. I may have commented on thinking one side took more than the other for instance. There have also been times he has deliberately directed most or all spanks to one cheek for various reasons, such as position and access, or just because.

Jack: Once my wife/mommy is done with the spanking, it doesn't matter which side is spanked more or less, I have a very sore and red bare bottom.

My wife/mommy reminded me that equal spanks may be what some may think but when one side gets more spanks, it means more squirming, and that adds to the punishment.

Prefectdt: Some play partners don't, but most do. I appreciate this, as it is not pleasant to be “Lop Spanked”. This is especially necessary when very flexible, usually leather, toys are involved, that tend to be a bit “Endy”.

Wendel: When it comes to hand spanking or paddling it is pretty even. I think the control just come naturally. The belt or strap is different. During a whipping the implement lands where it lands on the bottom and we do not try even out the sides.
I have paddled the Misses on one cheek only. She seems to like it and will occasionally ask for it. I enjoy watching her standing in the corner after or squirming in a chair trying to get comfortable.

Barrel: My wife tends to spank for color, welts and wales rather than count. Having honed her skills over 40 years, she is adept in getting what she feels is appropriate. She does alternate where she stands when she uses the strap, riding crop and tawse although she is quite proficient with her backhand strokes. I agree with Rosco, the cane tends to wrap when vigorously applied, and she will add strokes to get the welts she wants evenly distributed. While I do not like cane strokes that wrap, I don’t have any say in it. My role is to breathe, let it in and cherish the moment, no matter how difficult that may be.

Great oldie question. Thanks.

Bonnie: I think evening up is important and necessary. The more distant cheek tends to receive fuller and therefore harder swings. For a right handed spanker, that means the spankee's right buttock gets the worst of it.

When I am being punished, I don't get a lot of say about what happens, but Randy knows uneven spankings are an issue for me. It's so easy to fix with a half dozen good hard swats on my left side. There's just no excuse for not doing the whole job.

A.J.: WOW! Whata' question! Had me smile!

I know I have mentioned my first spanking GF, and that she tricked me into spanking her. My first time spanking a girl, her 1st time as an adult getting spanked.

After, she, now embarrassed by how it turned her on - and my noticing her getting turned on to a volcanic orgasm, and her embarrassment!!! - she finally admitted she like to be spanked.

Our relationship began anew with more fun and surprises to come!!!

Fast forward a couple months.

I'm coming out of the shower and there she is with this "look" on her face an glint in her eye. Said that she had always wanted to spank a boy, and - here I was! And reminded me that I had told her that the last and only time I had been spanked was at least 20-years earlier, and that no way in hell was I a "good boy" all that time. I must had "gotten away with it!" And,

"You're overdue. Today's the day; AND NOW Is the time!"

Fair's fair, amiright? You give you better be able to take. (Privately I had known this for a long time.) Thought I was going to "get away with it." Nope!

OTK I go!

And she's like a giddy school girl! For a first-timer, on a scale of 1-10: a 7?
She was pretty good. Using just her hand. But in her first 75 firm smacks - were overwhelming applied to the outside cheek. And it started to really hurt. Sitting after would be PAINFUL! So much to starboard I finally turned back and in a loud voice:

"HEY!!! I've got TWO cheeks!!!"

She saw the problem. And this wonderful woman apologized, sweetly chalked it up to inexperience, and that it would never happen again. (There's going to be another one????) And then:

Cheerily: "Let me even it up for you!!"

And did so. And we both laughed. She "rewarded" me after. (Or did I reward her? Could go either way.)

To me one-cheek spankings are for the punishment I never do because it really hurts. "In all things, balance."

One other quick one.

Saw a short video clip of a woman taking a man otk and spanking him. Straight backed chair, the woman late 30's to mid 40's. Never got a good look at the woman, but got a good look at "the lap of justice," and my first thought: "Me next!" She looked that inviting.

And all business.
In the first 4-5 seconds: "Drop your pants!"
As he did, she sat down.
His shorts on the floor - OTK
Shorts pulled down.
And the spanking began.
1-2-3! It was that fast.

Not a particularly hard spanking of the lad, but each smack of her hand was delivered firmly; giving him what I call "a good spanking!" At a two firm smacks per second.

Then the cljp ended. After about 100 smacks she paused. There was going to be more, but I was not to see it. (Seeing that woman spank, my eagerness to be "Next!" subsided a bit. But just a bit.)

I watched it a couple more times and noted/counted, of those 100 firm smacks, 80 of them were to the lad's outside cheek!
80% to one cheek!
And it showed! Right cheek visibly RED; the left just a bit pink.
And there I was, in my mind, telling her from personal experience - "He's got TWO cheeks!"

He would have difficulty sitting for quite a few hours; more so if her hand hurt and she switched to hairbrush/paddle or strap! (And I'm guessing she did.)

Love to see that clip again. And share it with you.

Graham: Absolutely! On the receiving end, I hate it. :-)

Hermione: Ron is usually methodical about giving both cheeks equal time, but some implements favour the right side. The long leather strap doesn't make much of an impact on the left side. Then there is the right side wrap of the switch and the dressage whip, and no way to equalize that without Ron going left-handed.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #546

It's great to see you all here again. You're just in time for brunch. Today we have a topic that first appeared on our dear friend Bonnie's My Bottom Smarts waaay back in 2012, and I thought it was high time for it to reappear.

Do you or your partner ever deliver extra spanks to one side in order to "even up" the spanking? If so, is this a regular practice or an exception? Does the use of "evening up" swats depend upon the position, implement, or purpose? How does the spankee feel about this technique?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Just Another Day on the Help Desk

Le sigh!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 23

We discussed possible breathing difficulties during an intense spanking, and this is what you said.

Rosco: Thanks for posting this, Hermione. There seems to be no end to interesting questions about TTWD.

Irene and I discuss our spanking/discipline/sex relationship from time to time, but almost never during our “dates” as that would ruin the roleplay. Over the years I’ve provided lots of specific elements and she’s done the same.

But I’ve never brought up the frequency of whacks rained on my bottom. Irene likes a certain spontaneity, to go with the flow so to speak. She doesn’t want to do a lot of thinking about how fast or hard or long to spank me.

But sometimes it’s especially satisfying to breath in, get spanked with the powerful leather strap, then breathe out. Often I find myself able to exhale only after every second or third blow.

This happened last night at bedtime. Most spankings are followed by sexual activity, but not yesterday. I think the same is likely to happen today. Perhaps I’ll try to behave.

KDPierre: I definitely suffer from this and it can be very scary in a not very good way at all. My Rosa also can be very spontaneous and energetic, and sometimes she just doesn't realize what her pace is doing to my breathing and heart rate. I'm in fairly good shape, but still if the smacks are too fast, I just start gasping and my heart starts pounding. This is especially true at the beginning of a spanking. The solution, however, is just letting her know. After all the punishment is supposed to be a sore bottom not a coronary. Our compromise is simplicity itself: her force can be whatever she feels appropriate as well as the total number of spanks. I have no say in that and feel it is absolutely appropriate that I don't. But I can ask her to slow down or even to give me the occasional "breather" and being a reasonable and loving person, Rosa will naturally oblige......knowing that slowing up a bit or pausing here and there, is not going to lessen the effect of her paddle in the long run.

Wendel: We have experienced being out of breath several times during OTK paddlings. If either one of us has issues we use our safe word and everything stops. Health and safety first, sore butts second. 

A.J.: "...have trouble catching (your) breath when spankings become rapid and intense?"

No. Not really; although breathing is important. We just don't play that hard where it is a big factor.

That said, this Q reminded me of a time when, after the usual moderate otk spanking, I thought I could use a bit more and asked my lovely masseuse for a bit more - but this time harder, i.e., role play the "Angry Girlfriend" spanking.

Oh, Lordy! She did. Don't ever get this girl angry at you! Took all of 25-seconds for her to "finish me" off, and all of it was her bare hand to my bare bottom! And I knew from the first smack I had royally screwed up. It wasn't so much catching my breath because I was HOLDING it! Unable to breathe through my clenched teeth trying to not make a fool of myself.

Funny now. At the moment it was happening - not so much!

Barrel: I have never had difficulty in catching my breath, but I almost always breathe heavily and pant as our session goes on. My wife does take breaks between the changing of implements, so I do have a chance to catch my breath. I learned long ago that controlling my breath during a whipping or caning helps me endure the session.

Roz: I find myself focussing more on breathing, mainly trying to prepare myself for the next spank. I definitely breathe harder as a spanking intensifies.

Hermione: I too have to tell myself to breathe when the heavy-duty implements some into play.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #545

I love receiving suggestions from my readers for brunch topics. Today's topic is from our good friend Rosco, on the subject of breathing.

Do spankees have trouble catching their breath when spankings become rapid and intense?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

Something for everyone :)

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 16

I apologize for the Blogger gremlins who put many of your comments into the Spam timeout. I have released them all here. I suppose it was because they contained 'BDSM',  which we were discussing as a follow-on progression from spanking.

Wendel: We tried tying each other to the bed and whipping the bottoms once. Not really our thing so it was the only time. 

Rosco: For us, yes at least as far as bondage goes. (Isn’t most spanking a sort of discipline?)

I don’t remember how spanking escalated. But it included lectures about theoretical transgressions from early on - often related to peeking up skirts or sneaking into a sorority or locker room.

Nowadays, bondage is central to our play. Typically I’ll be spanked then tied up (sometimes blindfolded and gagged) and left for up to an hour. Oddly I fall asleep at least for awhile. No idea what Irene does during this time. When she comes back, she’ll usually give me another spanking and often demand a foot massage. Then usually it’s cunnilingus ( reverse cowgirl) followed by intercourse.

I never would have figured on the bondage part. But it works. Oh, how it works.

Roz: What a great question! We started with spanking for play only and decided to take it further. Since then we have tried different dynamics starting with domestic discipline, some bondage and D/s. Also an element of Daddy/lg. For us it's continually evolving and changing.

Simon: Well over 45 years ago I just knew that I enjoyed spanking ladies' bottoms. Then I realised I actually enjoyed ladies spanking my bottom. Then I tried canes and paddles etc both giving and receiving. And now nearly 50 years later I have tried various forms of bondage, whipping and other bdsm play. Some I haven't enjoyed and only did once, some I do only if the person I'm playing with wants to and some I've enjoyed immensely and have done frequently. In the end we are all different and enjoy varied things but I do feel that as long as all parties want to there is no harm in experimentation.

 Prefectdt: Yes, I definitely have, over the years. When I left the UK, I was strictly Spanko only. But having lived in two countries that do not have such a Spanko culture as the UK, I have changed over the years. In pay to plays In like to stick to CP play as much as possible. In amateur interactions, with people who are more from a mainstream BDSM culture, I have found that compromise is the only way to go. There are some things that I won't do. And there are some things that I don't mind doing. But it is not for me. But is more for the other participant, there are two people who want to have a fun play time. I think that we all find, over time, that there are a lot of grey areas between Spankos and mainstream BDSMers.

Jack: Discipline spankings is what happens in this home, my wife/mommy only enhanced this with the use of the bath brush, longer handle, quicker results. She has included pajama punishment, meaning wear during the day, grounded, early bedtime. The marriage is very strong, the sex life is great, but spankings and sex do not go together in this home, one for pleasure, the other for punishment.

Dan: I have a hard time drawing a real line between domestic discipline spanking and BDSM. I think it comes down to the disciplinary motivation, with DD revolving around accountability and behavior change, which aren't really part of BDSM or are part of play-acting a scene and not meant to be "real."

Very early on, we did some erotic spanking scenes that probably qualified as BDSM. But, it didn't last very long and was supplanted completely by DD once I discovered that was a thing.

I've been restrained with leather cuffs a few times during a spanking, but it was a long time ago and didn't happen more than handful of times. Neither one of us is into bondage. 

Anon: Nothing wrong with a change of pace every now and then!

Spanky53: For me I only compartmentalized Spanking and BDSM activites because the Spanking community did so. It seemed to minimize Spanking as some sort of gateway activity to the REAL thing. I think the Spanko friends who attended my events over time merged into things identified as BDSM activites, rope, flogging, wax etc because our parties over time became more wide open.

As for personally, the only BDSM activity that wasn't already included in what I did with my partners is rope. My partner really benefits from being tied in various forms for more intensive play because they like the vulnerability of not being able to get away when I am feeling more primal.

Barrel: Yes, we did. We started hand spanking for play over 40 years ago. I added a few riding crops that led to paddles and hair brushes. As our tendencies grew, we added bondage, partly to heighten the experience and allow more intense sessions without movement. We now have many restraints, a spanking bench and rack in the garage which we use for special sessions. And yes, we use nipple clips and plugs regularly. We also employ sounds and sharp things to add excitement and diversity to our play. All in good fun.

Great question this week. Thanks to all for sharing.

Graham: Yes! Pegging, chastity play, discipline. Lots of harmless areas to explore, but we're still mostly spanking.

Bonnie: Randy can tie me up or tie me down, as long as there's a spanking.

Donn: I can't answer for other people, but from my observations and personal experiences, the "opposite" is more common (again, my observations).

I was originally into the BDSM "scene" (clubs, parties at private residences, etc.).

I myself moved away from that for several reasons:

(1) I was searching for a life partner, and I considered the "non-spanking/thrashing" elements of potential partner's personality and orientation to be more important -- believed those "everyday life" characteristics were more important to forming a long-term, stable relationship. And I did!

(2) I came to view the BDSM "scene" as really "just a scene," a form of "psychodrama" or "performance," detached from real life partnership and the true needs of maintaining and improving a real life partnership.

(3) Practicing / maintaining a full-time FLR-DD dynamic, something integrated into a real life, and using it to facilitate solving real life conflicts is much more fulfilling.

(4) Much (not all) of what occurs in "BDSM scenes" is directed and intended to directly facilitate eroticism. I have no objections to anyone using BDSM to enhance their relationship. However, for myself, I find the "all encompassing" erotic tension that fills my current relationship, arising from DD and how it facilitates our high-functioning relationship, and how DD has empowered my wife and allowed her to be more comfortable in expressing her priorities, desires and own sexuality, far surpassed anything I have observed in the "BDSM 'scenes'."

In my experience, I have observed a substantial number of people, both men and women, leave the "BDSM 'scenes' to go forward and form FLD-DD marriages.

In fifteen years experience (before my own marriage) I NEVER OBSERVED ANYONE LEAVE A FLD-DD MARRIAGE, OR WHO HAS PREVIOUSLY BEEN PART OF A FLD-DD MARRIAGE, MOVE FROM THAT DYNAMIC INTO THE "BDSM SCENES." (This may be partly due to the stability that FLR-DD dynamic provides for appropriate marriages and partners, and partly due to previous members of such relationships realizing what they want to reestablish.)

Of note: I have observed very few long-term stable BDSM relationships [where people originally met in the "BDSM Scene"]; BDSM, by itself, appears to be a very poor basis for forming stable relationships. Which is NOT to say that BDSM incorporated into an existing, functional relationship, cannot be enhancing and quite fun! (However, our experience agrees with many other couple's: It is very hard to mix BDSM and FLD-DD in the same relationship; the boundary lines become very blurred and hard to discern, interfering with BOTH dynamics.)

Just my personal experiences and observations. EVERYONE else's mileage will vary!

Loki_Darksong: In my case it was the exact opposite.
Originally, I started out with a predominantly BDSM desire. As Time passed my focus shifted more and more towards Spanking, which I considered to be Domestic BDSM.

Currently I have a balance between both BDSM and Spanking loving both as either conjoined or separate lifestyles and activities.

Ronnie: We've tried bondage a couple of times. We decided not for us.

Hermione: We've also tried bondage, and it was fun, but just plain spanking is enough for us.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #544

Welcome back, everyone. Last week I read a spirited discussion on our good friend Dan's blog, The Disciplinary Couples Club, about spanking, DD and BDSM. That reminded me of a topic suggested by regular brunch attendee Sage Blum.

Do people who enjoy spanking widen their horizons to include Bondage & Discipline (BDSM) over time?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for June 9

Have your spankings needed to be longer and more severe to overcome a tolerance to pain?

Bonnie: Yes, I think there's definitely a tolerance that builds up with experience. But this tolerance plateaus eventually. Regardless of previous frequency, intensity, or duration, there are certain types of spankings that always hurt.

Rosco: I don’t think so, from a physical perspective. It hurts like the dickens at first, then I slip into a euphoria where each smack is as delicious as cold lemonade on a hot day.

From a mental perspective, I used to worry about bruising etc. I thought for sure I’d be black and blue. But bruising has always been minor.

Roz: What I find is that if there has been a gap between spankings I sometimes struggle a little.

Prefectdt: Yes, that does happen over time, when I am getting spanked regularly. It is not that it feels less painful, I just seem to be able to handle the higher pain levels. I can still get a good buzz for the normal level spankings, but I get sort of proud of being able to handle it harder. Long gaps between spankings make that tolerance level lower, too.

Jack: Tolerance? Not from my wife/mommy; from the first bare bottom spanking over her lap she made it clear it would hurt.

A.J.: "Have you built up a tolerance to spanking over time? Do you have to be spanked harder and harder with more and more severe implements, in order to feel the same impact?"

Since I/we only spank for the sensual erotic purposes, my/our answer is no.

I do remember one time where I thought she could do a bit more but harder. She asked, "You sure...?" I said, "yes."

Big mistake! Boy, did she ever!

Funny now.

Sage: Thanks to all who have commented so far.
I've only been doing this a few months so my tolerance hasn't changed so far. I hadn't expected it to yet, but had been wondering if I should expect it to change over time. So far, it always hurts but it hurts really good. 

Dan: I do build up a tolerance, but it's temporary. The one "good" thing about getting spanked frequently is the spankings are slightly more tolerable than if it has been several weeks since my last one. There have been a few times when I've gone two or three months, and the first spankings after each of those breaks was excruciating.

Hermione: I did need longer and harder spankings at first, as my tolerance increased. But as others have said, it plateaued. I get satisfaction from all my spankings, and even though I can tolerate more, they all still hurt.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine