Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for May 31

We talked about spanking for punishment. Was there a time when you should have been spanked, but weren't?

Rosco: When Irene is truly annoyed with me, she ignores me. I don’t think it’s intentional punishment, but it feels that way.

Spankings are generally for imaginary infractions like being distracted by schoolgirls or maybe not doing my homework (ageplay, they call it). Occasionally she’ll threaten a spanking for not doing something around the house, but I don’t think it ever happens.

I fantasize about real discipline, but I don’t think I’m interested.

Roz: There have been a few occasions when I thought a spanking was forthcoming but it didn't happen.

Jack: If I think I will not be spanked and got away with it, I know I'm kidding myself. My wife/mommy has told me she needs to 'cool' off and just calm down.

KDPierre: I think this happens to just about everyone (in a disciplinary relationship) over time. It's just how life works. Things pop up, get in the way, and then the moment is lost and you either try to revisit it another time or just move on. Living this type of lifestyle is complicated, especially over the long haul, so I think it's best to focus on the positives and let go of the occasional, and inevitable, "what could have beens". 

Prefectdt: The problem is for me that, although I pretend to see spankings as punishment, really I see them as a reward. So yes, there have been lots of times when I have achieved hard to do or difficult things, when I feel that I have truly earned a “well done” spanking, but there is no one around to give me one. Just life, I suppose.     

Barrel: We don't really use spanking as punishment, although our sessions do take on a stern and reprimanding tone. There have definitely been times when I deserved discipline and didn't get it right away. We tend to work things out but remember to reinforce the outcome at the end of her cane when we schedule a session.

TTWD: My experience is similar to KDPierre's. Many (most) of my spankings are disciplinary, but sometimes we just continue doing what we are doing, and by the next day, although I might remember why (or not), Cindy has forgotten. Cindy's spankings have become really effective and strong, similar to what you used to describe for your spankings. At that time, Cindy felt they were too strong, but if she would read them now, she would realize they are the appropriate level needed, and what she gives me, or ours are even stronger. 

Graham: Absolutely! But not everything in life is perfect. And spankings are hardly the only important thing in our lives. 

Bonnie: Yes, definitely. But I usually get that spanking eventually.

A.J.: Did you ever feel you really deserved a spanking, but didn't get one?

No. But did really WANT a spanking, but didn't get one?
Yes.
Give a spanking, but didn't get to?
Also yes.

Was there an alternative punishment, or did the issue get resolved in another way?

I don't believe in punishment spanking unless it is part of playing so, not a good question for me.

Ronnie: Yes, definitely. But things get in the way and the spanking doesn’t happen.

Hermione: For us, spankings are a reward, not a punishment.  If Ron is mad at me, he will postpone our spanking until he's in a better mood.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #645

Welcome to another weekend spanko brunch. Grab a sandwich, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and take a seat on one of the padded chairs.

We all spank for different reasons, and not everyone engages in them for punishment. However, there are times when only a spanking will do.

Did you ever feel you really deserved a spanking, but didn't get one? Was there an alternative punishment, or did the issue get resolved in another way?

Leave your reply as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for May 24

What can you tell us about self-spanking? This proved to be a popular topic and we have several new friends who joined us this week. 

MrBill: I self spank, flagellate, etc. frequently. I just don't get enough from my wife despite my requests and encouragement over the years. I don't masturbate anymore, but when she is away I whip, flog, cane myself. Sometimes bent over on the butt, sometimes inner thighs. Usually with implements including leather strap, belt, flogger, crop, cane, wooden paddle.

Rosco: Yes. For me it was underwhelming. I tried a riding crop. Yes I was by myself.

Any spanking without a lecture is unfulfilling.

Obviously we’re all different.

Bonnie: Yes, at Randy’s direction, but it wasn’t as satisfying as the real thing. I recall making the comment, “Do I have to do everything?”

Roz: I have tried it on the odd occasion when I've been alone. Definitely not as fulfilling as the real thing for me either.

TTWD: I tried a couple of times long ago, but definitely unsatisfying! I need to be spanked, not self spanked.

Wendel: Spanking for us is all about fun and intimacy. Without someone to be part of the experience a spanking is not satisfying.
We put a couple of spins on it by self-spanking when the other was present. For the first we each took turns while the other stood outside the bedroom listening. The second was self-spanking while the other was in the room. I did enjoy watching her whack her bottom and being critiqued by the Misses was a turn on. If a good enough job was not done then a proper spanking followed which happened to be every time.    

Ronnie: Only to tease P.

Prefectdt: Yes I have self-spanked a lot, although I do not get much joy out of it. There can be a long break between spankings and self-spanking helps to keep my butt in order and helps me to keep a decent pain tolerance; it is not done for fun.

I have used plenty of things to self-spank, but the best seems to be a 2 foot (60 cm), peeled, German style rattan cane. By learning to use a flick of the wrist, rather than an arm swing, you can get a respectably stinging stroke. Also, it is not too noisy, so the radio does not need turning up too loud. Usually I am leaning forward over my dining table, supporting myself with my left hand, when this happens.

For a mentally satisfying self-spank, a medical EMS/TENS unit is often attached to my buttocks and set on a half hour pre-program, with the strength of pulse set way too high for normal medical use. This is not as good as a real spanking, but it does help me keep in mental trim, when real spankings are thin on the ground. I can just lie on my front on the bed and mentally absorb the pain, without having to do something myself, as the procedure is endured.

A.J.: Have you ever tried self-spanking?
Yes. And it appears - I'm not the only one!

If so, under what circumstances?
I was bored, felt like I needed it, and no spank buddy was handy.

Were you alone or with another person?
WHAT?? No! More proof I'm the impressionable virgin in this group.

Did you use an implement?
Hand. When that proved to be Meh..., my belt.

What position did you find most effective?
In bed and 'perched' over a BIG stack of pillows to get the more-perfect angle for the job.

Reading the comments it appears the answer is "Yes," but it is unfulfilling.

I got a smile from Wendel's comments. I wish I told my spanking GF that, before I took her OTK, that she go into her bedroom alone, go over a stack of pillows, and spank her bare bottom to warm her tush up before the OTK fun. And adding, "Leave the door open! Make sure I hear it!"

I need to get out more.     

Graham: Several times when alone. Better than nothing, but that's a pretty low bar!

Kiki: I never self spanked before but I decided to try it a few minutes ago. I barely felt it and didn't enjoy it.   

Hermione: Nope, never done it. Well, I might have tried it once, but it isn't easy and it hurts! 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #644

The coffee is hot and the snacks are on the table, so find a comfy seat and let's get started with this week's spanko brunch discussion.

Have you ever tried self-spanking? If so, under what circumstances? Were you alone or with another person? Did you use an implement? What position did you find most effective? If you haven't tried it, would you consider it?

Leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for May 17

Tears during a spanking? Here's what you said:

Rosco: I’d love to cry from spanking, but it’s never happened. (I do cry on emotional occasions more than most people.)

Like others, I’ve had a few super hard or errant blows that were over the top. The intense bliss of ongoing seemingly endless hard spanks puts me in a zone like nothing else.

A few days ago, Irene played the strict teacher role as never before - inspired by that short Marcy film (thanks for telling us about it). It was really great, but I was closer to laughing than crying.

CEM: If tears happen, they happen. Some women are geared that way, others are not. I would never however, try to make that a goal or a result of punishment, as that would be abusive. 

Roz: Tears were seldom here, though I often wanted to be able to cry from a spanking. On the occasions it did happen we were practising dd and the tears were more a result of the emotions behind the spanking.   

FL: Tears during a spanking have remained elusive my whole life. There was one occasion where I came very close and it had more to do with the role play and emotions than the actual spanking. Been chasing that high ever since.

Jack: My wife/mommy insures I'm crying, the bath brush insures that. The spanking is supposed to teach a lesson. I have a wife who loves me, but knows that she must be the Mommy at times and Mommy will insure that I'm crying, saying I'm sorry by the time she is done.

Prefectdt: I have never cried tears (I have cried out loud :) ) from a spanking. In theory, I would like to. Perhaps I will find out in reality one day. I have cried when put in a corner and the spanker has walked away, part way through a spanking. I think that it is the feeling of being abandoned that really gets to me.

Wendel: The Misses will let the tears fly once in a while for a bit. It is not necessary for us to enjoy the spankings. 

Bonnie: Tears are rare, at least when Randy spanks me. I’m not sure why, but that’s just not part of my usual reaction.

Now let the dog die in a kids movie and I’m a blubbering mess.

Dan: Movies and TV shows can make me cry. Same with movies and books. Yet, I've never really cried from a spanking, even though it's something I've been fascinated by since I discovered adult disciplinary spankings.

Hermione: Like Bonnie, if you want to see me cry, just let a dog (or a cartoon lion) die in a movie. But spankings never make me want to cry.  I always wonder about the stories I read in which spanking doesn't stop until there are tears. Mine would last for hours until the spanker's arm gave out.

A.J.: Tears come from EMOTION; not the spanking itself, nor the pain.
There can even be tears and crying even before the spankee goes OTK.
British sailors, VICIOUSLY flogged at sea, did not shed tears - they screamed. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #643

I want to extend a warm welcome to everyone who has come to join us for brunch. Newcomers, please introduce yourselves and don't be shy. You are among friends here. Today, let's talk about tears.

How important are tears in your spanking relationship? Do they happen often, seldom, or once in a blue moon? Are they even necessary? What do you think of the popular concept of being spanked to tears?

Leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of our conversation. If you have never joined in a brunch discussion before, now's your chance. You may remain anonymous if you wish.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for May 10

What about marks? Here's what you said:

 Bonnie: There are marks and then there are marks. I always have some residual redness on my bottom after I receive a proper spanking, but it often dissipates fairly quickly. There are some spankings, though, where Randy’s combination of implement, technique, and duration leaves me owning a more lasting set of marks.

I love my marks and the accompanying ouch back there whenever I sit, stand, walk, or bend. They remind me that I was recently punished, and to a certain degree, that the corporal punishment is still ongoing. These are exciting notions for me. Inspecting my visible marks in a mirror afterward makes the whole experience real.

Anon: My ex was surprised by marks the first time I spanked her, despite it being just surface marks and a few handprints. She got used to it. 

Roz: I used to love having marks and being able to feel the spanking after. A lasting reminder. Rick also used to enjoy seeing the evidence of his handiwork. In the early days we were surprised at the amount of marking on a couple of occasions.

Rosco: Irene likes to tease me about them. She’ll say I deserved them and more. That she hopes I learned my lesson, but she suspects I haven’t.

The most visible marks occur when she uses a switch - tiny welts that sting like crazy when they’re administered but satisfy like cold lemonade on a hot day.

There have been a few errant blows over the years which have caused Irene a bit of remorse, but I’ve always healed in a couple of days.

Prefectdt: I don't mark much now. Sometimes welts from a very hard caning, but that is more that you can see a furrow along my bottom, with no or not much bruising. I did start bruising again, some years ago, when I started taking a medication for my sticky blood syndrome, but that stopped happening about 18 months after starting the medication. I did used to like looking at my marks for a few days after the spanking, and miss that a lot. Still, there is usually swelling of the buttocks now and that is nice to feel for 3 or 4 days after the spanking, but it is not as good as having proper marks.   

Red: Cindy is very happy to see my bottom a bright red, but not happy if any bruising or bad marks. However, a nice grey surrounded by red on my bottom shows a rather very intense and deserved spanking. I like to take pictures of my bottom when it is quite red, but the lighting does not show the deep red. Wonder why on an Iphone. I blogged recently also, but need to re-learn everything, like how to put links to blogs I am starting to re-follow. 

Welcome back, Red. I've added your link to my blog roll.

Hermione: I love seeing marks, but sadly, I don't mark much these days. Redness that lasts a day or so, but nothing dramatic. I'll have to find out how Ron can up his game :)

   

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine