Welcome back, everyone. It's been a hectic week for everyone and everything, so let's relax and talk of pleasant things - like spanking. This week's topic came to me from an avid reader of this blog.
If you had to leave your home in a hurry and could take only one spanking implement, which one would you choose?
I invite you to leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has
had a chance to speak, I will publish the results of our discussion.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
This week we discussed disposal of spanking toys and the possibility of heirs discovering them.
CEM: The only way to assure no one found anything would be to dispose of it all now, as anything could happen at any time. But then if I live another 50 years...go without? Nope. Too many implements, links, homemade movies, photos, books both written by me and others, blogs, still have CDs, even old VCR tapes sitting around somewhere. So I guess at that time "someone" will just find everything and wonder "Who the hell was this guy"? and either be intrigued and fascinated, or offended and repulsed. :)
Wendel: In our home in Ireland the paddle already hangs proudly in the kitchen for all to see and the strap hangs in the front hall closet. They will never be disposed by us even if we lose interest or can no longer spank. The hope is that when we are gone whoever collects them will continue to spank with them.
A.J.: Already
have. (Not that there were many as my preference is my/her hand.) But
it was easy as the couple I did have were everyday items you see around
anyone's home.
Now working on the photos!
Note: Any
pics on your computer, cell phone, etc., are probably duplicated - even
if you have deleted them! - on the cloud. Deleting all your pics is a
multi-step process.
Mija: That's a great question. I don't have kids and a lot of people think I'm pretty strange. Paul has access to all my accounts -- so I guess he'll be stuck with my digital debris -- I hope the pictures get sorted. For my implement (mostly hairbrushes) and uniform collections, I think I'll look for a boarding school for wayward adult students.
One of my great sadnesses is that when Alex Birch passed away his family took down his blog. I get why, I guess, but I did enjoy it.
FL: I'm widowed, live alone. I don't have much in the way of paraphernalia but it'll give my (adult) kids something to talk about when I'm gone.
Prefectdt: I have made no plans at all. Perhaps someone can pretend to be taking the pile of stuff down to the recycling park, whilst really thinking “YOOHOO! I am going to have fun with all this stuff”. Or at least the employees down at the recycling park can get a good laugh at what has turned up. :)
Jack: At one time my wife/mommy did not want others to know that she spanks her husband other than her mother who encouraged it. Now, others know and so the bathbrush which hangs in the hall, need not to taken down.
Bonnie: We decided
that when one of us departs this world, the other will have the
responsibility to dispose of our spanko stuff. If I am the survivor, I
would probably retain a few items as mementos.
If I go first,
there's no telling what Randy might do. He jokes about selling
thousands of our private spanking photos and videos on the internet. I
could be the first posthumous spanking model. I care, but maybe I don't
care. It would be his problem at that point.
If we die together, our poor daughter could end up dealing with the aftermath. I hope that doesn't happen.
Rosco: I guess I
assume one of us will go first and the other will toss them. Its
possible we both go together and a child or someone would open the
locked box and probably discreetly dispose of the paraphernalia.
I don’t know if they’d be surprised. I suspect they’d know who spanked whom, but maybe they wouldn’t be certain.
Barrel: I've never thought about it until now. If she goes before I do, I will retain what we have in the hopes our arsenal can continue to be put to good use, unsure who will be on the receiving end. Then as I wane, perhaps offer them privately through a group like this? If I go first, I am sure my wife will dispose of them just as she did with the vhs tape and caning guide I bought from Aunt Kay when I bought our two delrin canes.
Dan: When our
kids were young, I had an arrangement with a close friend that, if
something were to happen to both my wife and I, she would take
possession and dispose of a locked trunk that we kept all our spanking
implements (and some other kinky stuff) in.
Today, I not only
don't care if our now-adult kids find that kind of stuff when we're
gone, it kind of gives me a chuckle thinking about the scandal. KD
Pierre has a cartoon I've always loved that depicts a couple going
through the wife's grandmother's stuff after her death and finding all
sorts of kinky stuff. I think it's funny as hell and am fine with the
prospect of my own adult kids having a similar experience.
Donn: Something
my wife and I had never before seriously considered before Hermione
posted this question. So the two of us talked about possible "kink
inheritances" last night.
Her thought, if I might die first, was
to toss everything except for one item as a memento. I thought that was
a good way to deal with it, so that's also my plan. We did briefly
discuss of either of us might resume DD with a future partner if one of
us was gone. My wife was certain I would try, so she was happy with my
plan to NOT use any her toys with any other woman. My wife was
uncertain if she might resume with a different future husband, but she
did say it certainly depended a lot on how he behaved toward her.
Frankly, I would not want my wife using our toys with another man, so
her disposal plan works for me.
What would happen if we both
died in some a terrible accident (auto crash)? My youngest brother is
appointed the executor of my will and would be responsible for the final
inventory and distribution of property. He is very kink friendly
(for a long time he ran a BDSM Sensory Deprivation Group in a large West
Coast City), so I'm sure he will find some appropriate "cause" or
"charity," either here in LA or up the coast where he lives.
Mark: As a kid I confess to doing a bit of snooping into my parents stuff, and not so long ago my daughter confessed to doing the same growing up... so I don't think that there will be any surprises to her. Accordingly I've done nothing about it. If I go first, I expect that my wife will dispose of then.
Hermione: If I go first, I assume Ron will dispose of everything. If he goes first, or we become unable to remain in our home due to physical issues, I'll dispose of our things. The books will be placed in the various Little Libraries that have sprung up in our neighbourhood. The old laptops with all my blogging stuff will go to an electronics recycling place. The implements will go to a thrift shop, perhaps in several shipments, to give the employees some fun. If we suddenly go together, Ron's son will have to deal with our kink.
KDPierre: Hmmm,
perhaps I shouldn't admit this, but if someone went through my stuff,
"spanking implements" would be of least concern. LOL Still, I'll be
dead, so, it won't be an issue for me. If the person discovering things
has an issue with what they find, I suppose it will be a 'them problem'.
;-) However, if my atheistic views are wrong, and my 'soul' continues
after death, I suppose I could just haunt the hell out of whatever room
has the most stuff, so that no one dares go in there. LOL
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
My last post appeared on blog rolls just as it should, so I am hoping the Blogger glitch has been resolved. We are expecting some pretty bad weather over the next 48 hours so I have prepared this post a day in advance, in case we have no electricity on the day I usually publish.
It's not a subject we like to think about, but preparing for the future is something that we all should consider doing. This topic was suggested by a good friend and regular brunch attendee.
What plans have you made to dispose of your spanking goods (toys, books, implements, clothing etc) in the event that you can no longer use them because of age or infirmity? If you happen not to prepare, who are you afraid might find them and discover your secret passion after you are gone?
I invite you to leave your response as a comment, an once everyone has
had a chance to speak, I will publish the results of our discussion.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
...now you don't. Whether this post pops up on anyone's blogroll or not, I hope you enjoy it.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Prefectdt noticed that my brunch post did not show up on any blog feeds. I have no idea why this happened so thank you to those who showed up anyway.
What if your spanking partner no longer wishes to engage in that activity? Here's what you said:
Wendel: I have never run into that situation. The Misses has been the only one for me and does not show signs of ever losing interest.
If
The Misses decides not to want to partake in spanking I will just
accept it. Obviously, I will give her one more sound spanking just to
see if I could change her mind but she is My Misses and I love her no
matter what.
Anon: Well, Hermione, you sometimes post some risky questions, possibly not understanding the range of possible responses.
My
wife and I had been in a long-term D/s (F/m) relationship that included
a lot of spanking for 29 years. Then one day when I (half) jokingly
suggested she should spank me for something I had done that severely
annoyed her (many times in the past). She responded: "I've always hated
that; hated the whole thing. It's disgusting!"
Well, we never
managed to reestablish any form of honest communication after that. Her
story and position kept changing, and I could never tell what her true
feelings were. That is, except for the "spontaneous utterance" of
emotional speech.
That was basically the end of both physical
and emotional intimacy and romance for us. I couldn't stand for her to
touch me; dreaded the prospect that she might try to initiate something.
I went into deeper and deeper depression, eventually requiring double
and triple doses of antidepressants, multiple types of AD's at the same
time. I was cycling, long term, between being OK, then having to
suppress my needs so strongly that I would drive myself back into
depression, then requiring even strong AD's to prevent self-harm. I
would rise up again from the AD's, but then the needs would come back to
strong I had to press myself back down with all my strength.
That all started that one awful day about 18 years ago. All those 18 years of abstinence in all forms.
About
three years ago I decided to go off the AD's and give it one last
chance to save our relationship. Over several months I started
conversations about how I thought I was who I was; why I had these
needs. How these needs had been with me my entire life, since I was a
young child. How I has struggled, and coped with multiple rejections
until I had met her. I made a few lighthearted references to her
possibly spanking me. The result was always the same: she's either
totally ignore me, or repeatedly (verbally) "slap me down!"
After
recovering from that last attempt, about 2 years ago I went to her, on
one knee, and most sincerely apologized to her for my not understanding
her feeling the conflicts she must have been feeling during the first 29
years of our relationship. She just sat there. She wouldn't acknowledge
my apology, must less "accept" it and possibly forgive me. That was
the end!
About six months later she started to have severe,
critical health problems. She was diagnosed with severe vascular
dementia, and it steadily progressed. After multiple hospitalizations
and surgeries, about one year ago she started confusing me with her
older brother. About six months ago she couldn't recognize me as anyone
else she knew. About four weeks from now she will be transferred to a
special, full-time care facility (close to where the rest of her family
lives). There they will have both specialists, as well the attendants
who will take over her feeding, bathing and diaper changing. In effect,
she has passed away, while still being alive.
I'm not sure
where I will go now after 47 years without my best friend. I'm 67 years
old, very smart and very fit. Most friends and acquaintances think I
am more like 50 (it gets tiring having to repeatedly pull out your driver's license). I've tried posting some profiles at various online
dating sites, listing my real age, and no one interesting will even look
at me -- basically no one under 63 has ever contacted or responded to
me. I'm not particular about looks, but I do care about intelligence,
gross obesity and total lack of any physical fitness. Right now, it
looks like I'll either have to lie about my age or give up. (Certainly
little or no chance I'll meet someone compatible in the grocery store,
plus it's creepy hitting on someone just trying to go about their everyday lives.)
If I could do anything differently, I would
have been more probing and insistent that my wife talked about ALL of
her feelings during those first 29 years. She certainly appeared to be
enjoying herself, and our lives together, but she was hiding her
internal conflicts, possibly in hope to make our relationship work. It
is only possibly to suppress some things for so long before something
breaks!
Prefectdt: This is only a theoretical scenario for me. But definitely number 1 “Discuss the situation and try to find out the reason for the decision?”. Finding out why could help a lot. If that has no result, then direct to number 4 “Discuss the possibility of finding another spanking partner for yourself?” But there already would be other spankers. I could happily stay sexually and emotionally faithful to a long term partner, but I would never lie and say that I would not look for play with multiple partners, right from the start of the relationship.
A.J.: I'm going to go with: "OK. If that's your choice. But now you have to find me a suitable replacement, who also has to meet my approval. Friend, pro, whatever - Your job!"
Anon 2: 1 and 2 with hoped success or compromise. If not, then 3.
KDPierre: This is a
complex issue with no simple one-size-fits-all solution. For me,
depending on a myriad of other defining circumstances, the response
would range from everything listed to even the extreme but possibly
inevitable conclusion of ending the relationship.
There are a
lot (too many if you ask me) people who see spanking as this weird thing
that anyone must feel absurdly grateful for having indulged, while
other forms of sexual or domestic expression are to be expected as a
person's due. I call "BS" on that. I see no difference from a partner
suddenly refusing to spank and one suddenly refusing to kiss or indulge
in sex. Both are legitimate, and both withdrawals indicate some problem
of a deeper kind.
Mark: I agree with
KD. It is one thing where a particular variant of sex is no longer
physically possible, but another entirely where one decides not to play.
I'd be being spanked one way or another.
Hermione: I might ask why he made that decision. But if he was no longer interested, I'd understand and accept it. Ron is still my one true love, and spanking is part of our mutual sexual experience, so the paddles would be put away. I'm monogamous, and would not pursue another relationship with anyone else.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
From 1990 to be exact.
The lady knows what she likes.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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