Spanko Brunch 2.0 #537

The pictures and stories about your favourite implements are flooding in. Thank you to all who responded. If you haven't, you can still send pictures of your favourite implement to my email address in the right sidebar. If you leave a comment without a picture, I'll try to add a reasonable facsimile when I create your post.

Now on to our discussion. All good things, including spankings, come to an end. Let's consider a specific form of aftercare.

Do you think ice or lotion are helpful for comforting a recently spanked bottom? Is this something you regularly apply?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for yet another great topic.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

KDPierre's Favourite Implement

 

This is a photo of our homemade lucite paddle resting against the very lovely feet of my Honey, Rosa. The paddle was made by using different types of saws to cut the shape seen from a piece of thick, clear, acrylic plastic, and then ground and sanded so that its edges were smooth. I have a typically smallish "boy-butt" and this paddle was custom designed to allow Rosa to spank it very efficiently whether bent over a bed or table, or over her lap. The paddle is rigid and hefty which means it imparts admirable sting with even a mere wrist flick, but is durable enough to be employed forcefully if Rosa chooses.....which she often does. 

We have other implements, but this one is probably used at least 90% of the time if not more. It's easy to use, concealable for transport, can be used in a variety of positions and for various situations from play to punishment, and can deliver anything from a crisp sting all the way to a blistering whack.

Thank you, KDPierre. I've had many responses, so watch for more favourites in the weeks to come.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

What's Your Favourite Implement?

At last week's brunch, Sage Blum suggested that readers tell us about their favourite implements. Our good friend Barrel then reminded me that he had made that same suggestion some time ago, with an added enhancement. Barrel, I apologize for the delay, and Sage, thank you for the idea.

Do you have a favourite implement that you would like to tell everyone about? If so, please send me a picture of the implement, along with a description of why you love it, how and when it is used, or whatever details you wish to share. My email address is on the right sidebar of this post (without the spaces). Do use an anonymous email, if you can, or specify what pseudonym you would like me to use.

Here's my favourite implement, the dogging bat. It's leather, which I love, and makes a lovely loud smack. It isn't severe at all, but is great for a warmup before the main event.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and I'll post your replies as they come in.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 21

Are any implements a hard "No" for you?

Anon: I always refuse to use any implement which may crack skin. Redness rocks, bruising and handprints or brush prints are fine. Breaking through the skin level is a hard will not do.

Mark: We don't have discussed hard limits but we had a heavy rubber paddle that bruised me badly and I quietly disposed of it...

Rosco: Sure.

Irene likes the satisfaction of being able to deliver a good whack. Nice I bought a carpet beater but it was too stiff and hurt way too much. Once in a while I cut switches - they’re delicious but you gotta get em right.

Intense but not severe.

She’s overdone it a few times, but only a few - and sometimes she misses the sweet spot and whacks my testicles hard or a whip wraps around to the far hipbone. I like it to hurt but there are limits.

Sage: I retired the lexan paddle we had, and probably will retire the cane. Everything else we've tried seems good by me. I really don't like serious pain. And like sting rather than thud. Have returned things just because they were thuddy. We use wooden implements less often than leather ones, since I like leather better on most days. And since my vanilla partner would have a cow if he left marks on me, he doesn't. I am pink or red after a spanking, but if a mark looks like it's starting to appear, he adjusts his use of the implement so that doesn't happen.

Roz: We haven't really discussed hard limits when it comes to implements, but are on the same page that we wouldn't anything extreme, such as whips etc. I would like to add canes.

Dan: Rubber straps. All of our spankings are disciplinary and meant to hurt a lot, but those showed me that, even within our spanking niche, there is such a thing as too much. They also had a tendency to break skin, which was a big issue for my wife. Also, one of them smelled like an old tire. So, the rubber straps all ended up in the dumpster.

KDPierre: Over time we've just sort of mutually gravitated to what works best for us, with some implements being eventually retired, others kept for special times, and still others given hallowed status, but I can't recall anything that was a "hard limit".

A.J.: Pretty much "hands on." Maybe a small strap/belt if the hand starts to hurt.

I'm romantic that way.....

Prefectdt: Just saying “Delrin” seems to sum it up for me. I have a delrin cane, that has not cut the air for nearly 2 decades now, and that languishes at the bottom of the toy box. It just gives the wrong type of pain and I cannot process it, mentally. I hope one day to find someone who likes delrin and I can donate it to them. It seems such a sad waste to throw away a perfectly good toy.

Graham: Nothing that could cause real damage. We do like canes, which can certainly draw a little blood on occasion which is a sign to stop very soon! 

Wendel: We are not fond of canes or whips that can wrap around the hips. Paddles, straps and belts are favorites.

Barrel: We do not have any limits and have continued to dial our sessions up, both in duration and intensity. My wife likes the feeling she gets when she puts me into compromised territory because she knows it is what I want, and most often, what I need. We both get the endorphin rush from a serious thrashing. She really tries hard to not let our thin delrin cane wrap onto the sides of my thighs, and has grown quite proficient with it. However, in the heat of the moment, it will and deliver a deep wale. I am fine with it and wear them as a badge of honor, with fond memories.

Marie: My personal hard limits (with anyone) are anything with holes (like a paddle or strap with holes), anything rubber, lexan, synthetic canes like delrin, frat style paddles that cross both cheeks, and typically anything plastic other than the Mason Pearson hairbrush I have.

I tend to gravitate towards thud and especially enjoy leather.

Ronnie: We know what works for us. We don't do hard limit implements though some would say the cane was:), but not for me.

FL: Not so much a hard limit as being perfectly happy with the classics; hand, hairbrush, belt, and (rarely) cane. Both for their physical effects and their compatibility with domestic discipline role play.

Hermione: One of the early episodes of "Doc Martin" comes to mind. A man with a variety of injuries was a frequent visitor to the surgery. When Doc Martin went to their house on an emergency call, he found the man wearing leather and stuck in an apparatus that belonged in a dungeon. The couple were inexperienced and a little too enthusiastic in their BDSM explorations, and the result was a myriad of sprains, lacerations and dislocations. 

As for us, I submit to anything Ron cares to use, because I know he won't cause me any real harm. I'm not a fan of the dressage whip, and there is a delrin paddle that has never been used. 

On the flip side, Ron once bought a lovely red leather strap for me on Valentine's Day. After one use, he was disappointed that it didn't produce much of an impact. He's only used it once since, when I had hidden all our implements due to a family visit, and hadn't put them out again, so he had to use what he could find.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #536

For those of you in the US, tax time has come and gone. We in Canada have another week and a half before our deadline, so Ron and I will be busy getting our forms together and hoping our tax software will cooperate. 

Our good friend Bonnie suggested this week's topic, which might provide some incentive for not procrastinating with those taxes.

Do you or your partner have hard limits in terms of spanking implements?  Are there some that are too extreme to be used?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for April 14

This week we discussed inaccurate assumptions made about ourselves or others.

Anon 1: Of course, initial assumptions are pretty much always 99% of time wrong.

Anon 2: My longest term spankee had me alarmed by first picture she sent me. It was from the front and her wrists looked so tiny, I incorrectly assumed her bottom would be insufficient to take my spankings. I was delighted to find myself wrong when we met.

Graham: Indeed. Some folks will draw conclusions from seemingly anything. Our current tendency to communicate by emails and texts is a poor substitute for talking in person, and that also applies to business and other important communications. Of course, in person communications on sensitive issues like spanking and sexual preferences is not practical in many, if not most, instances. As they say, it is what it is.

Dan: I think that people who aren't in F/m relationships sometimes assume that because I am in a relationship in which I receive disciplinary spankings from my wife, I must be submissive or meek in other parts of my life. Far from it.

With respect to whether I have been in error in assumptions about someone else, I'm sure it's happened more frequently than I think. The specific example I can think of is that when we first started with F/m disciplinary spankings, I assumed that most of the men who were seeking it were dominant personalities in their daily lives and that they were attracted to being on the receiving end of a F/m discipline/spanking relationship because they want to give up some of the control that went along with their dominant/Alpha personalities. I now believe that belief was based on a small data set (a limited number of guys I had interacted with on-line), and also a fair amount of psychological projection on my part, i.e. I assumed that because I fit that profile, others did as well. 

Sage: When I first started reading spanking blogs, just a few months ago, I thought every spanko except me was into punishment. Because that seems to be what most of the writing is about. Was glad to find out I'm not alone being into erotic spanking and stress release spanking.

Communication is difficult among humans in general. So we shouldn't be surprised when sometimes it isn't clear. It's super easy to misunderstand one another.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ― George Bernard Shaw

Bonnie: Yes, definitely, many times. I describe who I am on my blog, but guys (it's always men) want to write to me without even reading the summary.

I'm a happily married and monogamous spanko grandmother. I'm not a top. I don't play with anyone but my husband. I'm not a young girl nor have I been one for a very long time. I don't sell my panties. I don't know anyone who will play with you in a town 2000 miles from here. I don't do 1:1s. I don't sell photos of my butt or spanking videos. No, you can't come over. I may be submissive, but I'm not your submissive. I don't want to FaceTime. And I really, really don't need to see your revealing selfie.

I am willing to exchange email with just about anyone, especially if it's about our favorite subject, but please show a little courtesy.

Wendel: Amen Bonnie. I fully agree--except that part about being a grandmother, a girl and the whole panties thing for erm, you know, obvious reasons. I did ask the Misses once if I could sell her panties and I did not sit for a week.
Seriously, This is the only spot where I post anything. If I did post or if the Misses posted we would not care what anyone thinks. We do our thing and enjoy it. 

Prefectdt: Yes, but it is mostly a historic problem for me, pre-internet days, when meeting someone face to face was often the first time that you got to know anything about them. It is worse when I am suited and booted, but has happened at other times too. Some people would presume that I was a disciplinarian rather than a submissive. Just something about my appearance, I suppose.

KDPierre: The worst experiences I have had, which were frequent enough to indicate that this is a trend among folks locked into a power dynamic mindset, and not a fluke, are the assumptions that one's role equates to the validity of their opinion or their knowledge, with Tops of both genders being treated by the subs of the opposing gender as though anything they say is like genius advice written in golden script while opinions of subs are dismissed as irrelevant. This is pure nonsense and it is demeaning and infuriating to have subs turn on other subs just so they can appear to kowtow to the resident dominants. Being a dominant doesn't make you right, being a sub doesn't mean you should just shut up, and being in a power dynamic relationship with one person doesn't mean one is submissive to anyone and everyone who feels like calling themselves a Top.

On my end, I have made assumptions on whether people are who they say they are, that may or may not have been true. Online no one will ever know, although in a couple of instances later slip-ups and revelations have confirmed my assumptions. These assumptions are based on a gut feeling that arises when reading certain things that just don't sound like something a person of that gender would say. But again, unless some instance later reveals the truth, we often will never know, and as I admitted, it is quite possible that I have been wrong about some people. 

Sage: I think that one thing that makes communication about sex or romance so difficult is that sex is infantile. I don't mean for kinky people. I mean for everyone. Who truly understands anyone else's infantile fantasies that their sex & romantic life is about? Who of us truly understands our own ways of feeling cared for and secure when treated in certain ways that don't necessarily make other people feel cared for or secure? 

Roz: I would say undoubtedly yes. Online communication rather than face to face always has its limitations and we have a tendency to only share snippets, especially with such a intimate topic.

Hermione: Within the last group of people I worked with, I would have been considered a domme rather than a sub. They would have been amazed to know I was a submissive spanko. 

A.J.: "...has anyone ever made inaccurate assumptions about you, or treated you differently, based on the role you told them you were in?"

Actually, no. But I'd have to think about who I ever told of my "activities" outside TTWD, if they too were not into it in some form. I'm too private about that, and so were my partners (in fact, more private than me.)

More surprising to me was my thinking THEY were weird or obsessed about it, bordering on perversion (Who LIKES to "hit" people?), and my finding - they were all very nice people! Who simply happened to like spanking from either side of the lap.

And Sage, "...every spanko except me was into punishment"?

Nope! Not me, and not any of the women that played with me. We were all interested in the erotic fantasy of it, most of the time leading something sexual, or wanted a stress release spanking.

I do remember the first time my GF, feeling a lot of stress from work, one day asked for a spanking, but this one was to be HARD. A REAL spanking so her mind might get focused elsewhere.

I told her, "No." I can't do it and wouldn't like doing it.
She asked again. And again. And I relented.

I quit about a minute into it. She felt it!!! And I saw it. And I saw her bright red bottom! I asked her what her feelings were, and it was, "Well, I'm not thinking about work anymore!" while furiously rubbing her tush.

That was on a Sunday afternoon. The next day she was at work and nothing had changed. A spanking was not going to change the reality at her place of work.

We stuck to fantasy/erotic spankings. Welcome to the club!

Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream. - Buttercup

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #535

Greetings to all my readers. We are currently experiencing a spell of wet weather over the next several days, so it's the perfect time to stay indoors and chat with like-minded friends. Our good friend KDPierre sent me this topic, which is certain to provoke some lively discussion.

When discussing your interest in spanking, either online or in person, has anyone ever made inaccurate assumptions about you, or treated you differently, based on the role you told them you were in? Conversely, have you ever made incorrect assumptions about someone else?

Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine