Role Play

Which scenario do you enjoy the most? teacher / student doctor / nurse employer / employee governess / pupil matron / ward parent / child politician / constituent master / servant military officer / recruit police officer / offender viking / victim pirate / serving wench all of the above something else none - I don't do roleplay Current Results

Wednesday WIN

As a companion to the Friday Fail, I'm also starting a second series called Wednesday WIN. If on Fridays I show you implements that just wouldn't work, and are best left to perform their vanilla functions, on Wednesdays I'll be doing the opposite. I'll present pervertables that look like they would work very well in some spanking-related way.

Here's the first one.

Here's the description as it appeared on the website that sells it:

The Portable Gel Seat
Unlike bulky seat cushions that are heavy or difficult to carry, this compact gel-filled cushion weighs only 2 1/2 lbs, folds in half, and is easily portable due to its integrated handle. The soft, pliant gel- and supportive foam-filled pads disperse weight across the width of the cushion, relieving point of contact pressure inherent in long periods of sitting. For additional comfort, the center groove eliminates contact pressure on the tailbone and soft tissue. The surface slopes forward a gentle 5° to encourage proper pelvic posture, while 16 small vented openings allow for adequate ventilation.

This would be very welcome to a well-reddened posterior. Especially the 16 vents to help dissipate all that heat.

Butt Obsession

A columnist for a Canadian newspaper told of how, when she was out jogging, a male passerby stopped her and said, "Nice butt". She was astounded, and went on to describe her bottom as "a workaday tush - unaugmented, unremarkable and...unthought-of."

She explained that that bottoms have become the new tops. Women are becoming less obsessed with their endowments above the waist and more so with those below. "Like its perky upstairs neighbours, the new backside is highly circumscribed and protocol-bound. It must be small (but not too small), hard (but not too hard), eerily spherical (imagine two halved melons side by each) and virtually impossible to achieve through biological accident."

It's nice to know that bums have become mainstream. They aren't just a secret obsession with those of us who do you know what to them. But the description seems a little off, don't you think? I mean, not everyone enjoys a small rear end. Bigger is better to many people, from the perspective of both the owner and the viewer. As the reporter observed, "one woman's ideal butt is another's...disaster."

Upon asking a male friend if he liked a large behind, the columnist was told, "Men like small bums, and anyone who tells you differently is lying." Obviously he's not a spanko.

Read the whole article here.

Spanking Haiku

A haiku is a non-rhymed verse, conveying an image or feeling in two parts spread over three lines. There are 5 syllables in the first sentence, 7 in the second and 5 again in the last sentence.

I composed a few for you.

Lovely roundedness
quivers with expectation
and glows in response

Polished wood approaches
swoops, lands fearlessly, ascends,
Leaving its signature

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and a spanking.
Guess which has occurred

Leather belt is used
to embrace the waist and then
to caress the bum

I like being spanked
o joy, o rapture, o bliss,
spank me, spank me now

Naughty one, you erred
punishment will swiftly come
and wipe your slate clean

Now it's your turn. Try one, either here or on your own blog.

'Tis the Season...

...for wondering how long we can get away with being naughty before we have to start being nice.



Or vice versa.



Both items are available here.

Brushstrokes

Bonnie told us all about Randy's favourite implement here, and it seems that the shop it came from - Crabtree and Evelyn - no longer carries them. While wandering through a large downtown shopping mall last week, I passed a Crabtree and Evelyn, and on impulse I went in to check for wooden bath brushes.

I found a wooden bath brush. Not like the one in Bonnie's post; it was straight and the bristles were set into rubber. I had to reach around a customer to examine it and a couple of other wooden items. She and the sales assistant helping her must have wondered what the attraction was.








There was another interesting shop, filled with an eclectic assortment of gifts, clothing and toiletries. In a corner, beside the soaps and lotions, I saw a dark wood cabinet with several shelves and locked glass doors. Each shelf contained a variety of shaving brushes and stands. (Did you know a shaving brush lasts longer if you hang it from its own little stand?) The prices were pretty steep, but the brushes were lovely to look at.









Then on a lower shelf I saw two hairbrushes lying side by side. The long, narrow one was labelled as a man's brush, and the shorter, wider one was a woman's. The man's brush cost twice as much but I thought the ladies' model would do a much better job. And I don't mean brushing hair.

Friday FAIL

Pervertables that shouldn't give up their day jobs in the vanilla world.

Color Sticks
Toss two or three color sticks near the base of a crackling fire to create sparkling, multi-colored flames. They'll create brilliant, varied colors - encouraging warm fireside chats and wonderful memories. Natural hardwood. More than 30 pieces per package. Basket not included.

I'm not opposed to wooden implements, especially those made from hardwood, but I'd rather not take the risk of having them burst into flames when my bottom heats up. I like the basket, though. Pity it isn't included.

Personalized Weighted Bookmark
Traditional and very handy for all readers. Weighted ends hold the book open without breaking its spine, and the suede face stops sliding. We’ll personalize with three gold initials. Leather back, suede face.

Traditional? Obviously not for spanking. I've never had a personalized implement before. But "weighted" sounds kind of ominous, so I'll pass on these, even though I love leather.