Sunday, July 15, 2018

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #236

Welcome, everyone, to our weekly gathering for a chat about spanking. Today's topic was suggested by Rosco at last week's brunch, when we discussed who buys the implements. He remarked that "[f]or us it’s mostly whips etc. rather than paddles these days. I wonder how others feel."

So let's answer his question.

What implement(s) are you currently using for spanking? Is there a certain type you usually use, or do you prefer variety?

Leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.
From Hermione's Heart

Saturday, July 14, 2018

You Completed the Caption

This is the full postcard with its saucy, double entendre. Now here are your suggestions:

Hands63: Behold, the crack of dawn!

Storm: Welcome home, Honey! I have a surprise for you behind curtain number 1!

Sir Wendel: I can’t come out and play right now. Daddy is about to spank me.

And that's all, folks! Stay tuned for brunch, coming up next.

From Hermione's Heart

Friday, July 13, 2018

Friday FAIL

Uh oh! It's Friday the 13th. Something very bad is about to happen to these unfortunate souls.




























Be careful out there today.
From Hermione's Heart

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Complete the Caption

This is a naughty postcard from the Fifties, when such things were readily available at seaside resorts and holiday camps. I have removed the saucy double entendre from the card so that you could have a go at adding one.

Complete the postcard caption by leaving a comment, and I will send your greetings on Saturday.From Hermione's Heart

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

From the Top Shelf - So You Think That's Funny?


Today's selection was originally a photo story by the late Alex Birch. He used pictures from Scorpion magazine to tell the tale of a middle-class couple, Gina and Gary, in the garden on a Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, the pictures were lost, so imagine this scene: Gina has been saddled with cleaning the windows while Gary is reading his porn magazine.
(Oh Gawd, it's boiling hot out here! Why did I agree to do this while he sits there reading his softporn mag? What does he see in that stuff when he's got me? I'm pissed off with doing this! My arms ache and I'm fed up.)

(Perhaps if I spread my legs and wiggle my arse a few times he will attend to ME instead of that stupid magazine!)

(Bloody men! He hasn't so much as raised an eyebrow!)

"Garrreeeeeeeee! I'm getting hot doing this and my arms ache. Come and give me a hand, pleeeeeeeeeeassse."

"Jeez, you're a moaning cow! Shurrup will ya and let me read me mag. We had a deal remember? I spent two hours servicing your car this morning and you promised to clean all the windows? Remember?"

"I knowwwwww, but I didn't think it would be this hot and...(whine, whine, moan, moan)..oh come on, Garreeeeeeeeeeeee!"

(Not so much as moved a muscle. Right! I know how to wake him up. Tee hee!)

"Oooops the sponge slipped out of my hand. Sorry Gary...ooo you're all soapy hahaha!"

"You silly cow! That's not funny! You've soaked my 'Nuts'!"

"Oooo - Do you think the water might bring them back to life or is that too much to ask?"

"Right, girlie, that does it! You've been trying to get my attention and now you have! "

"Heyyyyy Gary, I was only kidding around -what are you gonna do?"

"Just what you've been hoping I'd do! Now come here!"

"Gary stop it! I've got the windows to finish!"

"Ha! Funny how the windows suddenly become important now you're arse up over my lap. Well grit your teeth, Gina, you're gonna feel these!"

(Oh God I hope so! I've been dying for this!)

"Owwwwwwww Gary you pig! That hurts!"

(and don't I just love it!)

"Of course it hurts, ya daft mare..and you love every minute of it. You're such a little exhibitionist and you've got an arse that was made for spanking!"

(Damn him..he's right! But I'm not telling him !)

"I thought you said I was going to feel these! You'll have to do better than that!"

"Right, my girl, you really are asking for it! Time these came down!"

"Garreeeeeeeeee!! Donna and Kevin will be able to see from the bedroom next door. I'm showing everything!"

"Good! Serves you right! And anyway it might spice up their love life. She's a sour faced little tart. Might give Kevin some overdue ideas of his own!"

"Owwww it stings on my bare bum!"

"Owwwwwwww....ooooo you bastard..that one REALLY hurt!"

"Bastard am I? Well I WAS just going to let you off with a spanking but this calls for stronger stuff. Stand up!"

"Stand and face the window for a few minutes, girlie, while I decide what to do with you!"

"Oh Gareeeeee...I was only...(whine)

"Shut up or it will be worse"

"Right. Turn around and get that top off. I want you naked for this!"

"B-but we're in the garden, Gary. Kevin and Donna will see....."

"Don't 'ave me on, ya little tart. You love showing off that body of yours. Now get on with it!"

(Oh damn. He knows me too well. I do love it...and I'm getting so wet already!)

"And take that bloody smile off your face! You are such a little tart! You won't be grinning in a minute!"

(Oh I love it when he takes control! Oh God, it's the cane..and there's Kevin grinning out of the window...oh Christ! Why does this turn me on?)

"That's the way. Jeez, those nipples are hard already. You love it, don't you! Now get bent over that table!"

"AAAAAHHH Shit...Gary. That hurt! You hadn't warmed me up properly!"

"Stop complaining and brace yourself! I told you I'd wipe that smile off your face!"

"OWWWW How many are you gonna give me? My bum is sore already!"

"That's for me to know and you to find out! Now GET BENT OVER! I won't tell you again!"

"OWWWW shit that really f***ing hurt!"

"Right, Gina, that's it! Now I'm going to make you really embarrassed. I'm sick of that language! Get up and come back to the window!"

"Oh Gareeeeeeeeee I'm sorry. I won't do it again...(whine, whine)

"Too late for sorry. Get up and stand by me!"

"Right, my girl! Now turn and face the hedge and bend right down gripping the bucket!"

"B-but Garreeeeeeeeee....my bottom is facing Kevin's bedroom window!"

"Dead right it is...and he's going to get the show of a lifetime. Bend right over and spread those legs as wide as you can!"

"B-but Gareeeeeeeeee this is so humiliating!"

(But oh Jesus what a turn-on! Kevin is overweight as it is. He'll have a coronary after this!)

"DO IT!"

"Oh my God, Gary, you've never done this to me before. It-it's awful!"

"If it's so bloody awful, girlie, then why is that pussy of your so wet, eh? Can't hide anything in THAT position!"

(I've never been so humiliated..and I love it! I must be sick or something)

"Please, Gary, this is so embarrassing!. I can see Kevin's face, upside down between my legs. He's gone a funny purple colour! It'll be your fault if he kicks the bucket!"

"You just concentrate on YOUR bloody bucket and don't let go or it will be the worse for you!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh that really hurts, Gary!"

"Oh there's a few more to come yet, girlie!"

"Oh Christ, that one really stung. Please no more. My bottom stings like bees have been at it for an hour!"

"OK that will do...despite that last bit of swearing. Now how do you feel?"

"Oooo Gary, I feel kind of hot everywhere and I need something else now, lover, something only you can provide!" (Muttered huskily)

"You think you can get round me so easily, you little minx. OK I think you deserve something else now and I'm going to do it out here, right now!"

"Oh Gareeeee, with Kevin watching out of the window? You wouldn't!!!" (panting in sexual expectation)

"Oh yes I would. Now close your eyes. I'm going to come behind you!"

(Oh God, this will be fantastic!)

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH....oooooooooo you rotten bastard....oh bloody hell!"

"Right I said I'd give you something you deserved. That should have cooled you off! Now for Christ's sake, finish the bloody windows and leave me in peace to read me mag!"
That was quite a show for the neighbours! It will give Kevin something to think about.
From Hermione's Heart

Monday, July 9, 2018

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 8

Who buys the implements? Let's see:

Anon 1: I purchase all the implements.

Arched one: About 50/50. If I finds an implement I'd like her to use I'll buy it. If she finds something she wants to use on me she buys it.

NoraJean: I can't remember who bought our very first implement for our 'bedroom only D/s' kink we started over 20 yrs ago; it's a crop and since there was no online ordering in those days, I suspect it was Frank because I'd have been too shy. I do know it was bought from the local feed and tack store. About the same time, I did make us a flogger out of recycled leather from the second hand store. Now in our new ttwd path, we have just recently acquired new implements. Two that I purchased online ... a paddle and a strap ... and one pervertable Frank has retrieved from his garden greenhouse ... a whippy little bamboo tomato stake ... Yeouch! ... Frank also has his eye on a split tawse ... I'll have to do the ordering as he is not an online shopper. I think I'll wait until he insists ;))

Windy: Well, I am a newbie, so I have taken advice from blogs.

First, it was on Amy's blog, but was a post by Bonnie. A leather over wood hairbrush paddle appropriately named THUD. He mostly stays in the drawer as he is very heavy duty.

Then, mostly recently, again on Amy's blog, she has something called Sir Strap. We have not named ours yet, but he is a serious fella, but it is actually working out quite nicely here according to me and to Storm.

Storm does all the actual purchasing... and did research on the 2nd implement as well beforehand. That's our story.

Fondles: We have both bought spanking implements, separately as well as together.

Roz: We have mostly purchased implements together, though I have purchased a couple on my own.

Sir Wendel: We both buy spanking implements. It is especially fun to buy the household items that are great for spanking.

Bonnie: Randy jokes, "If you bring one more implement into this house, I'm going to beat your butt with it." The truth is that we both do, usually separately, but occasionally together.

Baxter: My wife was along when I looked at the wooden spoon in the hardware store and when I looked at the wooden paddle in the cooking store. And then in preparation for my knee operation, we bought this very long shoe horn, probably 2.5 feet long, and my wife has been spanking me with that ever since. Very stingy.

Minelle: Most of our implements have actually been gifts.....
I really want to purchase a few fun ones from the net.

Ronnie: We've both bought separately and a couple of times together.

Subone: He tells me what he wants and I try and find it. When I find it and he says ok I buy it.

Anon 2: Most I buy ! some we buy together. When we buy together he has to make sure the clerk knows that they will be used on him. Funny how many different reactions that can get.

A.J.: Together. But rarely as all my SO's (and me, too!) prefer the bare hand.

The one time I demonstrated some "independent initiative" was the one time I told you about in a real-life story where I got the owner of an antiques store involved. Uhhhhh... Yeah. That was a mistake. A BIG one.

Yorkie: Even though I am the one who is spanked I am the driver in our activities and I am the one who buys the implements.

Rosco: I have purchased most of them for my wife Irene to use on me as she sees fit. Originally spanking was my idea, but she might even enjoy it more than I do at this point.

At first she used hairbrushes and ping pong paddles, but then we happened to be alone in the tack room at a place where horses were kept. Nervously she thrashed my bottom with a riding crop hoping nobody would hear. A few weeks later Irene sent me out to buy one. (This was mid 80’s well before online shopping.) I was plenty nervous at the western store as a sexy full figured young woman “helped” me. She offered to show me how much a certain crop would sting, then quickly laughed it off. I bought two crops that day which we kept for some time.

Nowadays buying online or at an adult store is no big deal.

Irene also instructs me to look for switches when we’re out hiking. In our area, wild plum trees often have straight supple shoots in late spring.

She has a strong preference for round handles, and we have yet to find a strap that is totally suitable. I continue to look.

For us it’s mostly whips etc. rather than paddles these days. I wonder how others feel.

I love it when she tells me what implements to get for her and to strip and stand in her closet and wait to be punished.

Hermione: I have bought all the implements we use. I love to shop, but Ron only shops when he needs something, and we certainly don't need any more spanking implements! When we shop together and pass by the kitchen utensils or the bath accessories, he may point out a spoon, spatula or bath brush and grin suggestively, so that's something! I haven't bought any for a long time; we have more than enough.

Anon 3: My wife always, and when I'm present. She has a particular store, the ladies all know her, even have suggestions. It is a reminder that she is in charge, and does not care if others know, I think she enjoys that part.

Thank you all for joining in the discussion, and special thanks to Rosco for a brunch idea.
From Hermione's Heart

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #235


I'm so glad you could make it to today's picnic brunch. Help yourself to a snack from the basket, find a place to sit on the blanket, and let's get started. Our question today is short and sweet.

Who purchases the spanking implements: you, your partner, or both of you?

Leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.
From Hermione's Heart