With the results of yesterday's US election in all the headlines today, you might want to seriously consider relocating to the chilly but peaceful country of Canada.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
This week we discussed how soon to discuss spanking when dating.
CEM: As soon as possible - right away. If it's an important aspect of your life, and you don't intend to live without it, there is no point in pursuing a relationship with someone if there is no mutual interest. It's just wasting both people's time.
Dan: For us, it
would have been impossible for me to bring it up during the dating
process, as I didn't develop an interest in spanking until we were
almost a decade into our marriage. But, if I were starting a new
relationship today, it wouldn't be at the outset, but it wouldn't be
months and months into it either. I think I would be looking for the
sweet spot where you know this is a relationship you want to be in
long-term, but without waiting so long that it might seem like you were
trying to keep it a secret.
Of course, my response is colored by
the fact that, were I to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't
interested in spankings, or at least DD-style spankings, I could go on
without them. They aren't my entire sexual identity in the way they
might be for someone with a deeply-rooted and long-established spanking
fetish. If that were the case for me, I'd probably bring it up sooner,
before either of us had a substantial investment in the relationship,
since not having that need fulfilled going forward might be a
dealbreaker.
Rosco: What an important question. I haven’t had any need to ask it since 1980.
If I were dating a new person, I’d probably bring it and related kinks up within a month or two.
Roz: This is a great question! I guess it depends on how important spanking in a relationship is to you. I don't think I would bring it up straight away. I would want to get to know the other person well enough first. Also, once I have a gauge on how serious the relationship is.
Jack: It was brought up by my girlfriend now my wife when I was caught looking at spanking pictures and playing with myself. She said she loved me and that I would be spanked, to know how it feels, and to know that I will be spanked when I act like a naughty little boy and naughty little boys look at such pictures.
Prefectdt: I think as soon as possible, just to get it out of the way. But this has never worked well for me, relationship wise.
Bonnie: I think you
could start with a subtle hint that could be easily explained away if
the response is negative. If the response is positive or neutral, a
less subtle hint could be advanced to confirm your original impression.
I
think it's much easier for a bottom to drop these hints. A male top
who expresses interest in hurting a female bottom is scary, even if
you're both kinky. Consent and mutual understanding throughout the
conversation is essential.
Wendel: Do not wait too long to bring it up. I gave the Misses an occasional swat on her fanny when we were dating. This led to the discussion where I learned she liked it.
KDPierre: I am a firm believer in not only bringing this up formally early on in the dating process, but also even before asking a person out by means of observation, hunch, and innuendo. I have never been one to "just ask someone out" and have usually "known' a person to some degree before even being interested enough to ask them out. If someone didn't send off a certain vibe in this regard, they would not be someone I'd ask out in the first place.
Hermione: It's been a long time since I was looking for a date, but it seems that today, much of seeking a partner is done online. So adding a hint about spanking to your online profile might generate interest from those similarly inclined, and the subsequent conversations would be easier.
If we are talking about the old-fashioned way, then I would wait until I felt the relationship was serious before dropping a hint or two.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
This is a repost of a brunch we had exactly ten years ago. I thought you'd enjoy revisiting it.
Welcome one and all to our regular weekend discussion. Today I'd like to
share a question I received in an email. The writer is currently
unattached, but is looking for a permanent relationship with a person
also interested in spanking.
When is it appropriate to bring up
the subject of spanking? Should you wait, or introduce it early in the
dating period? How do you suggest this be done?
Leave your reply as a comment and I will publish your suggestions once everyone has had an opportunity to speak.
I hope the writer of that email has finally found someone who shares their interest in spanking, but we may never know.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
From time to time I order skin care products from an online pharmacy that offers reward points. Recently, the reward offer (50,000 points after spending a minimum amount) was too good to pass up, so I ordered some products that I regularly use.
Included in my offer were several samples of products I have never used: neck cream, upper arm cream, facial mask, booty mask.
Wait, what? A booty mask? The label promised a firmer, tighter bum with regular use. So I tried it. The label warned to wash hands after applying, and that there might be a tingling sensation. I dipped my fingers into the jar and rubbed it onto my less-than-firm bottom.
Unfortunately, some of the cream strayed into the sensitive area between my cheeks, and my "rosebud" was on fire. Yeowch! I tried to wash off the cream in that area as best I could, but it didn't stop the fire. So I reached for my container of Bag Balm and rubbed some on. If you aren't familiar with it, Bag Balm was originally developed to treat the udders of cows with mastitis, but it has since become quite popular with humans. It's like medicated Vaseline, and is very soothing on delicate areas of the body.
The jar of Booty Mask went into the trash, and my butt cheeks sizzled for about an hour or so. I'll have to learn to live with an unfirm, loose bottom. No more masks for me :)
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
How do your pets react to your spanking activity?
Dan: Our dogs are always outside the bedroom when it happens. One of them gets very wigged out by sudden movements, noise, loud voices, etc. So, I don't think they would deal with it well.
Roz: Great question! We had cats. They would often give a look like here we go again looking a bit miffed then slowly exit the bedroom lol. If we were in the lounge they would curl up away from the action.
CEM: My imaginary Pterodactyl digs it. :)
FL: Dogs often confuse rough house playing between children as aggressive attacks on their family member and have then protected their human, sometimes with tragic results. They have been known to do the same with adults. Best to always put dogs in another room, preferably out of earshot as well. Turn on a radio or TV if necessary. If nothing else, nobody needs a cold, wet, inquisitive snout suddenly thrust into an exposed and vulnerable area!
Bonnie: We've had several kitties over the years. Most want to be anywhere but where a spanking is taking place. I think the noise bothers them. However, we had one little guy who was abnormally interested in the proceedings. On occasion, we had to put him out of the room.
Barrel: If the spanking is a short one, we don’t worry about the dog. However, during an extended session, we always keep him on the other side of the closed bedroom door.
Wendel: No dogs or cats here. We had a guinea pig once. She seemed to enjoy watching.
Ronnie: When we had our German Shepherd we would put her in another room with the door shut and the tv on as one time we must have left door slightly open and she came out and started whining and barking outside the bedroom door.
S: Unfortunately, no actual spankings here so the pets are okay.
Anon: We close the door.
49
years ago I had a girlfriend who had an uncommonly close relationship
with her Irish setter. The dog would reluctantly leave the room whenever
things got intimate. It was weird. We didn’t last long.
KDPierre: Our snakes don't seem to mind, nor do the fish.
Hermione: Our budgies don't care one way or the other. The dogs are in their crates in another room, with filled Kongs to keep them busy, and the TV is turned on for them.
Whether you have pets or are animal-free, you'll enjoy the Puppy Chow (pictured above) recipe here.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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