You Had ONE Job

These workers who couldn't complete the simplest task successfully need a good spanking.

The new fence a home owner had installed after enlarging his driveway.

Seriously?

 

Finished the job in half the time.

 

Throw the bricks into the air and see where they land.

 

I'll go get the paddle.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for December 14

How many smacks are in an average spanking?

Wendel: That is a great question. The only set number of spanks we have is for birthdays.
I asked the Misses if she would be up for a little research on the subject. She agreed and we set out for the storage shed, our equivalent to the woodshed. We keep a strap hanging on the wall and a padded mat to go over bins. The recipient bends over the bins while the other administers the whipping.
The results are in: Wendel – 72, The Misses – 64.
When we are able to put pants back on and sit, I am going to treat her to a nice dinner out. 

Roz: That is a great question. We don't keep count but for me it depends on various factors such as the implements being used and intensity. Sometimes I wish it would end before it does and others I wish it would go on longer.

Barrel: It depends on the implement. If I am spanked with the hairbrush or plastic paddle, I usually get three or four sets of 10, sometimes 12. When my wife whips me with the strap or riding crop, usually two or three batches of 20 strokes. Caning is different. We have worked together and agreed a caning is administered in sets of 6 strokes due to the intensity. When we do a session which is a longer and more intense caning, I usually get two sets of six with the thicker cane. She likes to finish with the thin cane given its ability to lay down weals, and I usually get three sets of 6. I know I have received up to 48 strokes, possibly a few more as I lost count trying to breathe and let it in.
Agree. A great question this week.

A.J.: I'm with Barrel and Roz. "It depends on the implement." And the situation.

Being the wuss of this group, my spankings - when on either side of the lap - are firm but not HARD. And all with the bare hand (although there have been times...!) The objective being a nice pink, tingling tush rather than a RED and really SORE one.

My answer: Given OTK and hand, my experiences is at least 250.
350 is not out of the question, and often achieved.

"The situation" determines the pace; the pace determines the intensity.
A "nice" spanking is one smack per second. 250-350 seconds takes 2-3 minutes+. The "+" being the TLC during the event!

A "you need (deserve?) a good spanking" that the penitent agrees to, the pace is upped to 2 per second. This - is a spanking!!!
At a faster 2 per second the impact force is naturally harder. It just is, you can't spank fast AND easy. THIS will be felt! In both tush - and hand. The objective is a bit of fun - but, dammit - you deserve it! "A damn good spanking!"

Of course, at 2 per second and 250-350 smacks, it's all over in half the time; 1-minute to 90-seconds. (Breaks for both are allowed. Set by the owner of the "lap of justice," of course.

3-4 per second? You don't want that hand (paddle/strap) coming at you at 3-4 per second!!! Or at least of lot of them.   

Graham: As we all agree, it certainly depends. Some have been as short as 6 of the best with the cane. Other, longer, more sensuous ones are several hundred with a nice, long warm-up!

Prefectdt: “How many smacks do you like to receive during a spanking? How many can you actually endure?” Answer - About the same number as a piece of string is long. I will admit to being a moody spankee. On some days the number is small and on other the number can never be high enough. There are a lot of other variables in play as well. This is a hard question to answer. I am away to the UK now and will be back at the brunches after Christmas. So I wish you a Merry Christmas, Hermione.

Hermione: At one time, Ron spanked by the clock, so the number varied greatly. Now, he has a set routine, and as I had never bothered to count before, yesterday was an opportunity to do so. He uses four different implements, and does three rounds with each. The dogging bat is used in a brisk back and forth motion - too hard to count - but a few single smacks as well, so let's say 10. Next the black leather hand, 11. Following that, the leather fly swatter with metal studs (which I hate) only 9. Those two average at 10. Finally the rose paddle with another 10. The second and third rounds were also 10 each. The grand total then was 120, and since Ron is a creature of habit, I suspect it's the same count each time So now I know :). 

KDPierre: The other replies here are making me feel like some kind of freak. We never do less than 50 (with a hefty lucite paddle) but that is the rare minimum for cute 'reminders' or warnings. More typically 250 is the average range. They go up from there. 350 is usually the number that leads to a break, which can last a few minutes, or even a few hours. But in a single day, I've had as many as a 1000, but that is rare. A "pool game contest" which is "for fun" will generate hundreds before the tournament finishes. And these are all hard, given with a paddle, and all on a bare behind. So.....again, given the other responses, I'm thinking I may be a freak.

(Somebody? Please? Add a comment where some hefty numbers are typical. I write stories based on personal experience and now I understand why some readers react with comments questioning the amounts I describe.) 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #621

Let's get comfortable and enjoy good food and good company at our weekly spanko brunch, happening right here, right now. No reservations required. Everyone is welcome.

Ten years ago today I posed this question: how's your math? 

How many smacks do you like to receive during a spanking?  How many can you actually endure? 

Leave your reply as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to participate, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Still More Mondegreens

I've got a million of them! Well, not a million, but plenty more.

And here are even more, thanks to sharp-eyed Fondles, who found these "Eggcorns".

 

The comments are pretty good too.

 

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for December 7

What are your thoughts on floggers?

Bonnie: We've owned a few floggers and there is one in our toy box now, but it's not often used. It's fine, but Randy is a creature of habit and tends to grab one of his favorites at spanking time.

A.J.: Do you ever incorporate a flogger in your play?

No.

…is this something you might consider?

Again, no.
I’m really boring. Need to get out more…

Wendel: The Misses is the owner and user of the flogger. She does not use it much. 

Roz: We had a flogger years ago, which was more of a toy and it broke so not a lot of experience. 

Norse Cavalier: I've tried a flogger once or twice, at a spankee's request, but it's not my thing. I find it too insubstantial - and using my hand is of course much nicer.

Prefectdt: I love getting flogged, both across my shoulders but especially on my buttocks. The big problem with inexperienced Tops using a flogger is the danger of wrapping. Which can cause problems with the end of the strike effecting the nipples or genitalia. The answer to this is to have the person on the receiving end lying on a very low bench or even on the floor, with their legs tight together, to protect the genitalia. The person performing the flogging should stand astride the submissive, either below the armpits or above the shoulders, depending on the height of the Top and the length of the flogger, looking backwards towards the bottom of the recipient. Then flog each buttock alternatively. Any overreach should just land on the upper thighs. In this position, the Top or Dom(me) can work on their accuracy and intensity without hurting the subs front side. Having said that is great for beginners with a flogger, this is still my favourite position to be in when getting my bum flogged :)

Rosco: We’ve had one or two, but they’ve never been quite right. Generally they don’t deliver the intensity that a decent whipping warrants.

The idea of several stinging lashes at a time however is appealing. At one point we had a nice birch that we’d bought from Cane-iac that created numerous tiny delicious welts.

Barrel: We do not have one. I am interested to see the answers as we would be interested in using one if it delivered the desired results. Generally, we strive for a more intense whipping or caning. But if readers show a flogger can be employed with some intensity, why not try one?

FL: Have a rather good quality one, bought it many years ago. It's not much good for spanking and I'm not really into being flogged on the back and shoulders, but it's quite effective when used (lightly!) on my erection. A fun addition to a toy box and great when the mood strikes.

Hermione: Ron bought one as a surprise for me. It turned out to be too long to control properly, and wrapped a lot. I cut about 6 inches off each tail, and it was more controllable, but still rather awkward. I think if Ron had gone to Youtube for advice on technique he might have had more success. It's just an ornament now.

Thank you, Prefectdt, for the precise instructions. A.J., I'm pleased to see your comments are coming through now, after last week's problem.          

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #620

Welcome, one and all, to our weekly discussion time. Since we've been talking about the correct use of implements lately, I thought this would be a good time to get your input on another often used but sometimes misunderstood toy.

Do you ever incorporate a flogger in your play? If so, what advice can you give about its correct use? If you don't have or use one, is this something you might consider?

Please leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish a summary of your responses. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

More Mondegreens

I once worked with a woman who called dachshunds "Datsuns" and another woman who talked about a "human cry" (hue and cry).

I would unfriend that person too!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine