We discussed punishment spankings in an otherwise erotic spanking relationship, and here's what you said.
FL: We had been trading teasing texts all day, where I was threatened with a good spanking. She had an engagement that evening and wouldn't be home until very late, so I went to bed my usual time thinking we'd pick up at a later date. Around midnight I was woken up by being harshly told to fetch the hairbrush and meet her downstairs, NOW! I did as told and received two separate, very hard spankings over her knee. This wasn't a fun, sexy session, it was real and it hurt. And yes, I loved every minute of it, particularly the spontaneity.
Mark: I've discovered, since we agreed that my wife could punish me at her discretion, that she really hates the coffee machine being dirty. She had warned me several times, but it rocked me back on my heels when she appeared with the cane and told me to drop my pants and bend over the table. She proceeded to cane me harder than she ever had before. Coffee machine cleaning is now a priority!
Graham: Yes, I have on several occasions asked for a strictly disciplinary spanking. They also served as great stress relief, though that was not the primary purpose.
Jack: Spankings are a great stress relief, but I also learned that my wife/mommy is a woman who knows that it is the wife that keeps the marriage together, and was taught by her mother that a wife will be the Mommy also, they go hand in hand. My wife/mommy will spank me for being naughty, she will also spank me when my attitude is not acceptable. If I come home from work with a bad attitude, she will allow me to calm down, but a bed time spanking will happen, and nothing worse then going to bed with a very sore spanked bottom.
CEM: I see it a different way. For me, all spankings have to have an "erotic" vibe, whether that is the sole objective or if they are punitive in nature. Without that element, it would be just abusive. So playful, disciplinary, foreplay, or whatever combination of the above, without some sort of sexual or erotic component I would not be administering one as it would seem like assault.
Wendel: Our spankings are meant to be fun. Obviously things we do may spark the other to give out a spanking but the fun factor is still present. There are times when the Misses misbehaves and will ask to be spanked because she was a bad girl. I paddle her fanny much harder. Occasionally If I do something that annoys the Misses she will announce that I am getting a whipping. She will retrieve the belt and let me have it.
Roz: Our dynamic has gone through many changes over the years and spanking has been both solely for play and also as a consequence at different times. There have been both times I have suggested a spanking and been surprised by a spanking over the years.
Rosco: Irene has
never used and perhaps never heard the terms sexy or punishment
spankings. I see them as sexy because at any moment I could say I don’t
want to do this. But I never have and probably never will.
I
rarely know what I’ll get. Sometimes it’s as few as twenty swats before
cunnilingus. Sometimes it’s an hour or more of intermittent intense
spankings on the bottom and more sensitive spots, bondage, maybe ice
cubes in my rectum and other sorts of “torture”. So far I’ve endured and
relished all the discipline and never used a safe word,. It’s only been
44 years.
Prefectdt: I don't really have a relevant answer to most of the question, so I thought that I would just answer the part that goes…
Or as a bottom, have you ever been genuinely shocked by a spanking your Top decided you had coming?
Someone
decided that I needed a punishment caning once and gave me my first
crusher caning. A crusher caning is when a male spankee is bent over a
hard surface, in this case a table, and has their legs stretched out
straight away from the table, so that they cannot support any body
weight. As the spankee bends over to get into this position. The spanker
uses the cane to lift the male genitalia onto the table. So that the
old boy tackle is between the body of the spankee and the table and not
left dangling free. I was given an extensive caning in this position,
during which I got a good buzz and ended up enjoying the scene. Then I
was instructed to stand up and the blood returned to my testicles that
had been repeatedly crushed against the table, as my body was driven
forward by the cane and my natural reaction to the strokes. Almost
immediately, I was on my knees and fighting the desire to throw up. The
type of pain was horrible, and it was about 3 hours before I could stand
up straight again. Then I found out the real punishment part of this
type of caning. I did find this experience both shocking and surprising,
in its effect.
Marie: Interesting Q. My husband and I have a bit of a kink mismatch - despite both being spankos - he prefers them to be more as foreplay or true play, where discipline is at the core of my kink. That's not to say I don't enjoy play or sexy spankings or more lighthearted ones, it's just not at the top of my list, so to speak. He definitely prefers them be mostly fun and since he's doing the spanking, that's how most of them default. I have asked for a more true punishment before, but it's me driven, not his decision so to speak, but if he agrees, then he's in control of the "how". Recently, I was teasing him though, clearly trying to provoke a *bit* of bottom smacking, and he came into my office where I was tidying and put me over his knee and spanked me so hard, probably the hardest hand spanking he's ever given me, cold, right from the start. It was amazing but caught me so off guard! His hand is pretty large and heavy to begin with so he's a firm handspanker, but I remember being so (pleasantly - ha!) surprised by his response. Those moments are truly lovely.
Barrel: We always spank for pleasure and foreplay. But we also use a session when called for due to behavioral needs and certainly stress relief. We are both working to use our tawse to reach the more intimate and tender areas which are being exposes with careful arrangements of restraints. When properly delivered, the results are amazingly intense. We have added a protective cup which allows uninhibited access. Genuinely shocked…yep, in a good way.
KDPierre: Thank you
for posting this topic. Rosa and I are kind of a multi-purpose spanking
couple, but genuine discipline has certainly been a core motive. Given
how long we’ve been doing this there certainly have been times when she
has told me I had a spanking coming that took me by surprise, though, to
be honest, I usually know when I have screwed up and am not generally
surprised by most punishments.
One time that does stand out dates
back many years when Rosa and I had just roughed out what our domestic
discipline policy would be. For those familiar with my blog or past
writings, you may recall that the key tenets were that Rosa would have
authority over my domestic behavior, and that she did not want our
lifestyle to be kept hidden out of fear or shame, but rather be an open
demonstration of one possible alternate way that a couple could choose
to live. As such, those in our house (her three kids) and anyone outside
of the house deemed worthy of trust, would know that she had this
authority allowing for no hindrance in her exercising it. I was
initially surprised she wanted to be that open, having chosen the secret
route in my prior household with my own kids, but she seemed to think
there would be no downside with it and I trusted her, and therefore
agreed.
One day we were all having dinner together as a family
and there was some playful teasing going on that emboldened me to poke
some fun at her. At one point she warned me that I should be careful
about what I was choosing to say, but I continued anyway thinking it was
all in fun. At one point she just flat out announced in front of
everyone that she found my teasing to be inappropriate and disrespectful
and that I would be punished for it. She then told me to kindly follow
her ‘to the room’. I still thought she was kidding until she insisted
she certainly was not, stood, took me by the hand and said “Let’s go.”
Confronted
with the reality of the lifestyle I had chosen to live, and obligated
to honor my word, I blushed mightily and with an expression of disbelief
and embarrassment, followed her behind closed doors still not believing
this was happening. Our bedroom was mere yards from the dining room
where my stepkids all sat a bit surprised yet amused. And there I got a
serious paddle spanking that would be impossible not to hear.
Later
I thought that Rosa might have been using my teasing (which wasn’t
anything THAT bad) as an excuse to clearly establish a precedent for
what things were going to be like; when asked, she admitted with a
smile that was precisely her intention.
Hermione: Our spankings have never been for punishment, and as Ron is a guy who prefers routine, there are no surprised in our spankings.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine