Our good friend KDPierre came up with this week's topic, so I'll let him introduce it.
"We all know that some people spank for sexy play and others for punishment, and others yet for a combination of both, yet everyone kind of recognizes that regardless of the REAL reason for a spanking, they all have a certain punitive 'vibe' to them, whether genuine or role-played."
To those who spank only for sexy play, have you, as a Top, ever suggested a genuine spanking for something that bothered you? Or, as a bottom, ever had such a suggestion put to you by your Top? And for those who do use spanking as punishment, have you ever suggested one that took your bottom by surprise? or as a bottom have you ever been genuinely shocked by a spanking your Top decided you had coming?
Please leave your response as a comment, and I will publish a summary of our discussion once everyone has had a chance to speak.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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12 comments:
We had been trading teasing texts all day, where I was threatened with a good spanking. She had an engagement that evening and wouldn't be home until very late, so I went to bed my usual time thinking we'd pick up at a later date. Around midnight I was woken up by being harshly told to fetch the hairbrush and meet her downstairs, NOW! I did as told and received two separate, very hard spankings over her knee. This wasn't a fun, sexy session, it was real and it hurt. And yes, I loved every minute of it, particularly the spontaneity.
I've discovered, since we agreed that my wife could punish me at her discretion, that she really hates the coffee machine being dirty. She had warned me several times, but it rocked me back on my heels when she appeared with the cane and told me to drop my pants and bend over the table. She proceeded to cane me harder than she ever had before. Coffee machine cleaning is now a priority!
Yes, I have on several occasions asked for a strictly disciplinary spanking. They also served as great stress relief, though that was not the primary purpose. Graham
I see it a different way. For me, all spankings have to have an "erotic" vibe, whether that is the sole objective or if they are punitive in nature. Without that element, it would be just abusive. So playful, disciplinary, foreplay, or whatever combination of the above, without some sort of sexual or erotic component I would not be administering one as it would seem like assault.
Our spankings are meant to be fun. Obviously things we do may spark the other to give out a spanking but the fun factor is still present. There are times when the Misses misbehaves and will ask to be spanked because she was a bad girl. I paddle her fanny much harder. Occasionally If I do something that annoys the Misses she will announce that I am getting a whipping. She will retrieve the belt and let me have it.
Our dynamic has gone through many changes over the years and spanking has been both solely for play and also as a consequence at different times. There have been both times I have suggested a spanking and been surprised by a spanking over the years.
Hugs
Roz
Irene has never used and perhaps never heard the terms sexy or punishment spankings. I see them as sexy because at any moment I could say I don’t want to do this. But I never have and probably never will.
I rarely know what I’ll get. Sometimes it’s as few as twenty swats before cunnlingus. Sometimes it’s an hour or more of intermittent intense spankings on the bottom and more sensitive spots, bondage, maybe ice cubes in my rectum and other sorts of “torture”. So far I’ve endured and relished all he discipline and never used a safe word,. It’s only been 44 years.
Rosco
Spankings are a great stress relief, but I also learned that my wife/mommy is a woman who knows that it is the wife that keeps the marriage together, and was taught by her mother that a wife will be the Mommy also, they go hand in hand. My wife/mommy will spank me for being naughty, she will also spank me when my attitude is not acceptable. If I come home from work with a bad attitude, she will allow me to calm down, but a bed time spanking will happen, and nothing worse then going to bed with a very sore spanked bottom. Jack
I don't really have a relevant answer to most of the question, so I thought that I would just answer the part that goes…
Or as a bottom, have you ever been genuinely shocked by a spanking your Top decided you had coming?
Someone decided that I needed a punishment caning once and gave me my first crusher caning. A crusher caning is when a male spankee is bent over a hard surface, in this case a table, and has their legs stretched out straight away from the table, so that they cannot support any body weight. As the spankee bends over to get into this position. The spanker uses the cane to lift the male genitalia onto the table. So that the old boy tackle is between the body of the spankee and the table and not left dangling free. I was given an extensive caning in this position, during which I got a good buzz and ended up enjoying the scene. Then I was instructed to stand up and the blood returned to my testicles that had been repeatedly crushed against the table, as my body was driven forward by the cane and my natural reaction to the strokes. Almost immediately, I was on my knees and fighting the desire to throw up. The type of pain was horrible, and it was about 3 hours before I could stand up straight again. Then I found out the real punishment part of this type of caning. I did find this experience both shocking and surprising, in its effect.
Prefectdt
Interesting Q. My husband and I have a bit of a kink mismatch - despite both being spankos - he prefers them to be more as foreplay or true play, where discipline is at the core of my kink. That's not to say I don't enjoy play or sexy spankings or more light hearted ones, it's just not at the top of my list, so to speak. He definitely prefers them be mostly fun and since he's doing the spanking, that's how most of them default. I have asked for a more true punishment before, but it's me driven, not his decision so to speak, but if he agrees, then he's in control of the "how". Recently, I was teasing him though, clearly trying to provoke a *bit* of bottom smacking, and he came into my office where I was tidying and put me over his knee and spanked me so hard, probably the hardest hand spanking he's ever given me, cold, right from the start. It was amazing but caught me so off guard! His hand is pretty large and heavy to begin with so he's a firm handspanker, but I remember being so (pleasantly - ha!) surprised by his response. Those moments are truly lovely.
We always spank for pleasure and foreplay. But we also use a session when called for due to behavioral needs and certainly stress relief. We are both working to use our tawse to reach the more intimate and tender areas which are being exposes with careful arrangements of restraints. When properly delivered, the results are amazingly intense. We have added a protective cup which allows uninhibited access. Genuinely shocked…yep, in a good way.
Thank you for posting this topic. Rosa and I are kind of a multi-purpose spanking couple, but genuine discipline has certainly been a core motive. Given how long we’ve been doing this there certainly have been times when she has told me I had a spanking coming that took me by surprise, though, to be honest, I usually know when I have screwed up and am not generally surprised by most punishments.
One time that does stand out dates back many years when Rosa and I had just roughed out what our domestic discipline policy would be. For those familiar with my blog or past writings, you may recall that the key tenets were that Rosa would have authority over my domestic behavior, and that she did not want our lifestyle to be kept hidden out of fear or shame, but rather be an open demonstration of one possible alternate way that a couple could choose to live. As such, those in our house (her three kids) and anyone outside of the house deemed worthy of trust, would know that she had this authority allowing for no hindrance in her exercising it. I was initially surprised she wanted to be that open, having chosen the secret route in my prior household with my own kids, but she seemed to think there would be no downside with it and I trusted her, and therefore agreed.
One day we were all having dinner together as a family and there was some playful teasing going on that emboldened me to poke some fun at her. At one point she warned me that I should be careful about what I was choosing to say, but I continued anyway thinking it was all in fun. At one point she just flat out announced in front of everyone that she found my teasing to be inappropriate and disrespectful and that I would be punished for it. She then told me to kindly follow her ‘to the room’. I still thought she was kidding until she insisted she certainly was not, stood, took me by the hand and said “Let’s go.”
Confronted with the reality of the lifestyle I had chosen to live, and obligated to honor my word, I blushed mightily and with an expression of disbelief and embarrassment, followed her behind closed doors still not believing this was happening. Our bedroom was mere yards from the dining room where my stepkids all sat a bit surprised yet amused. And there I got a serious paddle spanking that would be impossible not to hear.
Later I thought that Rosa might have been using my teasing (which wasn’t anything THAT bad) as an excuse to clearly establish a precedent for what things were going to be like…….and when asked, she admitted with a smile that was precisely her intention.
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