Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 30

This week we discussed disposal of spanking toys and the possibility of heirs discovering them.

CEM: The only way to assure no one found anything would be to dispose of it all now, as anything could happen at any time. But then if I live another 50 years...go without? Nope. Too many implements, links, homemade movies, photos, books both written by me and others, blogs, still have CDs, even old VCR tapes sitting around somewhere. So I guess at that time "someone" will just find everything and wonder "Who the hell was this guy"? and either be intrigued and fascinated, or offended and repulsed. :) 

Wendel: In our home in Ireland the paddle already hangs proudly in the kitchen for all to see and the strap hangs in the front hall closet. They will never be disposed by us even if we lose interest or can no longer spank. The hope is that when we are gone whoever collects them will continue to spank with them. 

A.J.: Already have. (Not that there were many as my preference is my/her hand.) But it was easy as the couple I did have were everyday items you see around anyone's home.

Now working on the photos!

Note: Any pics on your computer, cell phone, etc., are probably duplicated - even if you have deleted them! - on the cloud. Deleting all your pics is a multi-step process.

Mija: That's a great question. I don't have kids and a lot of people think I'm pretty strange. Paul has access to all my accounts -- so I guess he'll be stuck with my digital debris -- I hope the pictures get sorted. For my implement (mostly hairbrushes) and uniform collections, I think I'll look for a boarding school for wayward adult students. 

One of my great sadnesses is that when Alex Birch passed away his family took down his blog. I get why, I guess, but I did enjoy it. 

FL: I'm widowed, live alone. I don't have much in the way of paraphernalia but it'll give my (adult) kids something to talk about when I'm gone. 

Prefectdt: I have made no plans at all. Perhaps someone can pretend to be taking the pile of stuff down to the recycling park, whilst really thinking “YOOHOO! I am going to have fun with all this stuff”. Or at least the employees down at the recycling park can get a good laugh at what has turned up. :)

Jack: At one time my wife/mommy did not want others to know that she spanks her husband other than her mother who encouraged it. Now, others know and so the bathbrush which hangs in the hall, need not to taken down. 

Bonnie: We decided that when one of us departs this world, the other will have the responsibility to dispose of our spanko stuff. If I am the survivor, I would probably retain a few items as mementos.

If I go first, there's no telling what Randy might do. He jokes about selling thousands of our private spanking photos and videos on the internet. I could be the first posthumous spanking model. I care, but maybe I don't care. It would be his problem at that point.

If we die together, our poor daughter could end up dealing with the aftermath. I hope that doesn't happen.

Rosco: I guess I assume one of us will go first and the other will toss them. Its possible we both go together and a child or someone would open the locked box and probably discreetly dispose of the paraphernalia.

I don’t know if they’d be surprised. I suspect they’d know who spanked whom, but maybe they wouldn’t be certain.

Barrel: I've never thought about it until now. If she goes before I do, I will retain what we have in the hopes our arsenal can continue to be put to good use, unsure who will be on the receiving end. Then as I wane, perhaps offer them privately through a group like this? If I go first, I am sure my wife will dispose of them just as she did with the vhs tape and caning guide I bought from Aunt Kay when I bought our two delrin canes. 

Dan: When our kids were young, I had an arrangement with a close friend that, if something were to happen to both my wife and I, she would take possession and dispose of a locked trunk that we kept all our spanking implements (and some other kinky stuff) in.

Today, I not only don't care if our now-adult kids find that kind of stuff when we're gone, it kind of gives me a chuckle thinking about the scandal. KD Pierre has a cartoon I've always loved that depicts a couple going through the wife's grandmother's stuff after her death and finding all sorts of kinky stuff. I think it's funny as hell and am fine with the prospect of my own adult kids having a similar experience.     

Donn: Something my wife and I had never before seriously considered before Hermione posted this question. So the two of us talked about possible "kink inheritances" last night.

Her thought, if I might die first, was to toss everything except for one item as a memento. I thought that was a good way to deal with it, so that's also my plan. We did briefly discuss of either of us might resume DD with a future partner if one of us was gone. My wife was certain I would try, so she was happy with my plan to NOT use any her toys with any other woman. My wife was uncertain if she might resume with a different future husband, but she did say it certainly depended a lot on how he behaved toward her. Frankly, I would not want my wife using our toys with another man, so her disposal plan works for me.

What would happen if we both died in some a terrible accident (auto crash)? My youngest brother is appointed the executor of my will and would be responsible for the final inventory and distribution of property. He is very kink friendly (for a long time he ran a BDSM Sensory Deprivation Group in a large West Coast City), so I'm sure he will find some appropriate "cause" or "charity," either here in LA or up the coast where he lives.

Mark: As a kid I confess to doing a bit of snooping into my parents stuff, and not so long ago my daughter confessed to doing the same growing up... so I don't think that there will be any surprises to her. Accordingly I've done nothing about it. If I go first, I expect that my wife will dispose of then.

Hermione: If I go first, I assume Ron will dispose of everything. If he goes first, or we become unable to remain in our home due to physical issues, I'll dispose of our things. The books will be placed in the various Little Libraries that have sprung up in our neighbourhood. The old laptops with all my blogging stuff will go to an electronics recycling place. The implements will go to a thrift shop, perhaps in several shipments, to give the employees some fun. If we suddenly go together, Ron's son will have to deal with our kink.     

KDPierre: Hmmm, perhaps I shouldn't admit this, but if someone went through my stuff, "spanking implements" would be of least concern. LOL Still, I'll be dead, so, it won't be an issue for me. If the person discovering things has an issue with what they find, I suppose it will be a 'them problem'. ;-) However, if my atheistic views are wrong, and my 'soul' continues after death, I suppose I could just haunt the hell out of whatever room has the most stuff, so that no one dares go in there. LOL    

      

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #584

My last post appeared on blog rolls just as it should, so I am hoping the Blogger glitch has been resolved. We are expecting some pretty bad weather over the next 48 hours so I have prepared this post a day in advance, in case we have no electricity on the day I usually publish.

It's not a subject we like to think about, but preparing for the future is something that we all should consider doing. This topic was suggested by a good friend and regular brunch attendee.

What plans have you made to dispose of your spanking goods (toys, books, implements, clothing etc) in the event that you can no longer use them because of age or infirmity? If you happen not to prepare, who are you afraid might find them and discover your secret passion after you are gone?

I invite you to leave your response as a comment, an once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish the results of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Now You See Me...

...now you don't. Whether this post pops up on anyone's blogroll or not, I hope you enjoy it.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 23

Prefectdt noticed that my brunch post did not show up on any blog feeds. I have no idea why this happened so thank you to those who showed up anyway.

 What if your spanking partner no longer wishes to engage in that activity? Here's what you said: 

Wendel: I have never run into that situation. The Misses has been the only one for me and does not show signs of ever losing interest.
If The Misses decides not to want to partake in spanking I will just accept it. Obviously, I will give her one more sound spanking just to see if I could change her mind but she is My Misses and I love her no matter what. 

Anon: Well, Hermione, you sometimes post some risky questions, possibly not understanding the range of possible responses.

My wife and I had been in a long-term D/s (F/m) relationship that included a lot of spanking for 29 years. Then one day when I (half) jokingly suggested she should spank me for something I had done that severely annoyed her (many times in the past). She responded: "I've always hated that; hated the whole thing. It's disgusting!"

Well, we never managed to reestablish any form of honest communication after that. Her story and position kept changing, and I could never tell what her true feelings were. That is, except for the "spontaneous utterance" of emotional speech.

That was basically the end of both physical and emotional intimacy and romance for us. I couldn't stand for her to touch me; dreaded the prospect that she might try to initiate something. I went into deeper and deeper depression, eventually requiring double and triple doses of antidepressants, multiple types of AD's at the same time. I was cycling, long term, between being OK, then having to suppress my needs so strongly that I would drive myself back into depression, then requiring even strong AD's to prevent self-harm. I would rise up again from the AD's, but then the needs would come back to strong I had to press myself back down with all my strength.

That all started that one awful day about 18 years ago. All those 18 years of abstinence in all forms.

About three years ago I decided to go off the AD's and give it one last chance to save our relationship. Over several months I started conversations about how I thought I was who I was; why I had these needs. How these needs had been with me my entire life, since I was a young child. How I has struggled, and coped with multiple rejections until I had met her. I made a few lighthearted references to her possibly spanking me. The result was always the same: she's either totally ignore me, or repeatedly (verbally) "slap me down!"

After recovering from that last attempt, about 2 years ago I went to her, on one knee, and most sincerely apologized to her for my not understanding her feeling the conflicts she must have been feeling during the first 29 years of our relationship. She just sat there. She wouldn't acknowledge my apology, must less "accept" it and possibly forgive me. That was the end!

About six months later she started to have severe, critical health problems. She was diagnosed with severe vascular dementia, and it steadily progressed. After multiple hospitalizations and surgeries, about one year ago she started confusing me with her older brother. About six months ago she couldn't recognize me as anyone else she knew. About four weeks from now she will be transferred to a special, full-time care facility (close to where the rest of her family lives). There they will have both specialists, as well the attendants who will take over her feeding, bathing and diaper changing. In effect, she has passed away, while still being alive.

I'm not sure where I will go now after 47 years without my best friend. I'm 67 years old, very smart and very fit. Most friends and acquaintances think I am more like 50 (it gets tiring having to repeatedly pull out your driver's license). I've tried posting some profiles at various online dating sites, listing my real age, and no one interesting will even look at me -- basically no one under 63 has ever contacted or responded to me. I'm not particular about looks, but I do care about intelligence, gross obesity and total lack of any physical fitness. Right now, it looks like I'll either have to lie about my age or give up. (Certainly little or no chance I'll meet someone compatible in the grocery store, plus it's creepy hitting on someone just trying to go about their everyday lives.)

If I could do anything differently, I would have been more probing and insistent that my wife talked about ALL of her feelings during those first 29 years. She certainly appeared to be enjoying herself, and our lives together, but she was hiding her internal conflicts, possibly in hope to make our relationship work. It is only possibly to suppress some things for so long before something breaks!

Prefectdt: This is only a theoretical scenario for me. But definitely number 1 “Discuss the situation and try to find out the reason for the decision?”. Finding out why could help a lot. If that has no result, then direct to number 4 “Discuss the possibility of finding another spanking partner for yourself?” But there already would be other spankers. I could happily stay sexually and emotionally faithful to a long term partner, but I would never lie and say that I would not look for play with multiple partners, right from the start of the relationship.

A.J.: I'm going to go with: "OK. If that's your choice. But now you have to find me a suitable replacement, who also has to meet my approval. Friend, pro, whatever - Your job!"

Anon 2: 1 and 2 with hoped success or compromise. If not, then 3.

KDPierre: This is a complex issue with no simple one-size-fits-all solution. For me, depending on a myriad of other defining circumstances, the response would range from everything listed to even the extreme but possibly inevitable conclusion of ending the relationship.

There are a lot (too many if you ask me) people who see spanking as this weird thing that anyone must feel absurdly grateful for having indulged, while other forms of sexual or domestic expression are to be expected as a person's due. I call "BS" on that. I see no difference from a partner suddenly refusing to spank and one suddenly refusing to kiss or indulge in sex. Both are legitimate, and both withdrawals indicate some problem of a deeper kind. 

Mark: I agree with KD. It is one thing where a particular variant of sex is no longer physically possible, but another entirely where one decides not to play. I'd be being spanked one way or another.

Hermione: I might ask why he made that decision. But if he was no longer interested, I'd understand and accept it. Ron is still my one true love, and spanking is part of our mutual sexual experience, so the paddles would be put away. I'm monogamous, and would not pursue another relationship with anyone else.

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #583

Hello and welcome back! This week, let's consider the following scenario that we first discussed ten years ago:

You have been in an intimate relationship for several years with a person who enjoys spanking as much as you do. One day, your partner tells you that he or she no longer has any interest in spanking, and will not participate in any future activity. What would you do? 

1. Discuss the situation and try to find out the reason for the decision?
2. Try to talk your partner out of the decision?
3. Quietly accept it?
4. Discuss the possibility of finding another spanking partner for yourself?
5. Look elsewhere for a spanking partner, but don't tell your partner about it?
6. Some other possibility?

I invite you to leave your opinion as a comment, an once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish the results of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

A Blast from the Past

From 1990 to be exact.

The lady knows what she likes.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 16

What three words describe your emotional state before a spanking?

Jack: My first three words are always 'I'm Sorry Mommy'. My wife learned from her Mother that husbands could be little boys and especially naughty little boys and should be punished like naughty little boys. When I know I'm getting a spanking I just want to let her know I'm sorry. She said she knows but I will really know once I get off of her lap.

Wendel: Before every spanking, paddling, whipping: Oh Yea Baby!
When The Misses makes me strip to whip my bottom: Oh My God!
When she makes me strip for a paddling before a girl’s night out: I’ll Be Good.
After every spanking, paddling, whipping: I Love You.

Roz: Three words that describe my emotional state before a spanking are, excited, nervous and aroused.

FL: Roz captured it perfectly: excited, nervous, aroused. And it goes between all three leading up to the moment of, "Get over my knee."

Prefectdt: Fear, Joy, and Adventure.

Fear - Of that first part of the spanking, when it is just a lot of pain, before the magic starts happening.
Joy - If I did not think that it was going to be fun, I would never do it in the first place.
Adventure - Every spanking is different. You never know how it is going to go. It is always an adventure.

Dan: Anxious, nervous, and yet aroused.

Rosco: Relaxed, aroused, grateful.

I do know it’s going to hurt, but I know that’s temporary. The relaxation comes from the elimination of all distractions. Some people meditate. I get spanked.

Barrel: Anxious, relieved and appreciative.
Anxious about the pending sensation; relieved the time has come and appreciative that I am about to get spanked.

A.J.: "In anticipation of a spanking..." The implication - I'm the one about to "get it!"

I don't have three words, but I do have six:
"I can't believe I'm doing this!"

And that's when she smiles and tells me to get otk.

When it's reversed and she's the one otk, I do have three: "God, I'm lucky!"

Bonnie: Just three? A hundred would be so much easier.

How about excited, concerned, compliant?

Mark: Excited, scared, nervous.

Hermione: Aroused, anxious, appreciative.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #582

Top of the morning to you! It's a fine day to talk about all things related to our favourite percussive activity. Some spankings are quite unexpected, but most of the time, we know they are coming.

In anticipation of a spanking, what three words describe your emotional state?

Please leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak I will publish a summary of our discussion. 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 9

This week we discussed birthday spankings.

Barrel: Forgive me as I may have shared this previously. On my 60th birthday, I planned out the birthday spanking I wanted...I know, topping from the bottom. 6 minutes with the hairbrush, alternating with the hard plastic paddle. Then 20 strokes with the strap, followed by 20 with the riding crop, topped off with 20 from the cane. It was one of our most memorable thrashings.
But this year I turn 70...hmmm. The topic this week has me thinking. I am hoping others will share their experiences and I can use them in a few months. Great question.

Graham: Wouldn't be a real birthday without a good spanking...or maybe two...or maybe more! Bare bottom, of course. Hopefully some intimate fun with my wife after.  

Roz: Happy Birthday and Blogiversary Hermoine! Wow, 17 years. I'm sorry I have been awol lately. I have had a lot on my plate here.

We don't generally celebrate birthdays with a birthday spanking. We often try to have a nice meal out.

Glad to see you back, Roz. I was worried!

Prefectdt: Happy Birthday and Blogiversary, Hermione.

No, I do not celebrate life milestones with spanking celebrations. I have often fantasized about getting a hard Birthday caning. But as I am approaching 60 now and taking one extra to grow on, that could be a bit of a challenge, if administered cold, like in my fantasy.

Rosco: Yes, birthday spankings have been a regular thing for 45 years now. Irene is a wonderfully creative, whimsical and strict disciplinarian, but normally not much of a planner. So it’s an anomaly that she’ll count the strokes on my birthday.

When we were first together, I summoned up the courage to talk about spanking. (My attempts with previous girlfriends had been rebuffed, embarrassingly so, after an initial memorable experience at the tender age of 13). Irene responded positively, that she’d give it a whirl, but then she didn’t follow through. So I took the occasion of my birthday to remind her and tell her this was a serious interest of mine. It worked. These days, I think she enjoys dishing it out even more that I relish receiving.

S: I love the idea of birthday spankings. Sadly I don't get to give them out.

Wendel: Happy Birthday and Blogiversary, Hermione. I hope a good spanking was part of the birthday celebration.
We spank each other with a paddle on our birthdays. It is very traditional so the birthday suit must be worn. The spanker counts off the whacks. One whack is given for each year old and then many more for various reasons. One for good luck, one for good health, one for no reason whatsoever and so on. Followed by sex and then cake. 

CEM: For me, her behavior, mood and temperament determine things, not a calendar. 

Betsy: Happy Birthday and Blogiversary, Hermione! Wishing you many more years. I always get a birthday spanking. My husband really looks forward to them.

Ronnie: Hermione, Belated Happy Birthday and Blogiversary.

Yes I get a birthday spanking and I get one when it’s Ps birthday. 

Hermione: For me, the ideal birthday would be nice presents, a tasty cake, then a trip to the woodshed for a birthday spanking - one for each year plus one to grow on.     

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #581

In this past week I celebrated both a birthday and my 17th blogaversary. There was quite a celebration, but I managed to save some cake for you, dear readers. 

We've discussed this question in the past, but I think it will be fun to try it again.

Do you celebrate birthdays, anniversaries or other special occasions with spanking?  If so, do tell! If not, please describe how you wish your special day could be celebrated.

Please leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 2

What is your favourite fantasy?

Dan: I tend to have a lot of fantasies about being taken to a literal woodshed or barn and given a very hard punishment spanking.

Rosco: I have several with very similar themes, usually involving girls I knew between ages 15 and 25. I’m caught peeking up their skirts or maybe in a locker room. Then I’m spanked, lectured and otherwise punished by the group of them.

Some of these fantasies take place in a single afternoon. Others are played out over many months. I may write some of the up some day but I don’t know how much interest there would be.

Wendel: For the last year or maybe more my fantasy is to be taken to the kitchen by 3 naked older ladies (65+) and paddled with my pants down by each one.

The Misses mentioned that her fantasy spanking is to be spanked naked at the top of the Eifel Tower. I am thinking it is more of a dig to take a trip to Paris than a desire to be spanked. 

Mark: Mine is to be pulled up on something by my wife when she has her two best friends visiting, and be forced to get naked and take a hard caning. Ideally be put into the corner afterwards while they carry on their socialising.
This is not a fantasy that I have when being punished, definitely other times... such as when awake in the middle of the night, or when said ladies are visiting.

Prefectdt: I have a lot of fantasies that tend to come and go, as my fancy changes. Recently, ever since I got a butt plug tail, that I still have not used in play, some have revolved around this. Mainly, they go along the theme that the tail is symbolic of myself being temporarily owned by the person spanking me. Myself becoming some spanker's “Bit of Tail” for a defined period. Meaning that I must follow every whim and instruction of my Top, from the time that the tail is inserted, until it is pulled out, when I regain the right to free will.

FL: The scenario details change from time to time but the underlying theme is always strict maternal-style discipline.

A.J.: Fantasies are all (almost all) fine. We all have them. As long as you don't frighten the dog!

I think what triggered this was a common fantasy by many woman I know to be taken otk, bottom bared, then "spanked like a little girl." My first spanking GF had this fantasy.

Here are two of mine:

1. Being spanked by a woman with another woman watching, enjoying it, and then getting in her turn. On the flip side, me spanking both of them as the other watches.
That's not so hard/freaky is it?
And one shared by Roscoe, Wendel, and Mark above.

Fun fact: It happened! Twice! Two wonderful women let me live that fantasy. Both spanked me, I spanked both them, than I got to see them spank each other! In between - we talked. It was enlightening!

2. A girl I was with asked about my fantasies. I told her I wanted my GF (her) to TAKE ME to a pretend couples therapist for counseling because I was a neglectful of her sexual needs. (See? Fantasy.)
In her office and after hearing I was neglectful of her needs, the therapist was shocked and - there is only one cure for that! And she would spank me as the GF watched.
Then she would spank the GF for also being neglectful for not doing this herself!
Then the therapist would have us make love as she directed, her instructions encouraged by her use (on both of us!) of a small strap.

The GF loved the idea! (I can still hear her voice go deep and looking right at me, "I would so do that...!")

Now to find a playmate! GF then pulls out her iphone and goes through the photos of her GF's, trying to find one who might play.

(I pointed out one really cute I liked and was told no; While she would be perfect, but she would want to jump in and and be "serviced" too. And I'm looking at her saying, "Yeah...And? And the problem is...?")

It was left for her to pick on of her friends and sound her out.

Sad fact: It never happened. She found a couple girls, but they were "rules" and conditions, then life got in the way. It never happened.

There will be tears on my pillow tonight.

 Ronnie: To be spanked after a riding session, I would have to be correctly attired and so would he, I would have failed to impress in some way, or been disobedient or lazy not tending to my horse properly, something along those lines. It would perhaps have been a repeat offence for which I'd been warned and now I'd gone too far. He would deal with me firmly in the stable, bending me over a hay bale or something and giving me a good cropping.

Hermione: I have several variation of my favourite fantasy, which I hope to put into print and submit to LSF someday. They all involve being spanked by a parent OTK. There is almost always a third person in the scene: Aunt Mary. She usually provides the hairbrush for the finale, and sometimes she is the disciplinarian. 

MrBill: I have soooo many spanking fantasies but reading Ronnie's horse riding fantasy reminds me of one of mine from long ago. I was dating a young lady at the time who worked at a local horse stable. I had a strong fantasy about taking her to the stable, stripping her naked and putting a bridle/harness on her head and using the "cross ties" in the stable that were used to keep the horse in place, attaching those to the bridle on her head and then cropping her body front and back. Getting excited just thinking about it!! 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #580

Welcome to March! I'd say it came in like a lion, with plenty of snow last night. But the pizza delivery came through, so it's all good.

Today's topic was suggested by our good friend A.J.

What is your favourite spanking fantasy? Is it something that you imagine during a spanking? Or is it for other times?

Leave your response as a comment, and once everyone has had a chance to speak I will publish a summary of our discussion.

 

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine