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Do you ever put off doing something that you know has to be done? Our dear friend Bonnie experienced just such an affliction, but she was lucky. Her husband Randy helped her to overcome it. Read on:
The Price of Procrastination
I'm good about getting things done. My career as a journalist/writer taught me respect for deadlines. Finishing on time is the right thing to do for many good reasons. This belief lies at the very core of my being.
But some tasks I avoid. A while back, I mentioned to my ever vigilant husband, Randy, that I needed to make an appointment to see a certain grumpy doctor. He's a specialist who I visit periodically. At least I should, but I know I won't die if I put it off. But I could get a spanking.
Recently, Randy asked me whether I had made my appointment with Doctor Grumpy. "No, not yet," I replied. I was surprised he recalled my offhand comment from weeks before. But he told me that my health is very important. I suddenly realized that the health of my butt was rapidly dropping in importance.
So I got spanked with the paddle for procrastination. I told him that he wouldn't like this doctor either, but that didn't seem to help my case. He grabbed a solid hardwood paddle with an oval shaped head, sat in the center of the couch, and directed me down over his lap. I was face down and bottom up, positioned for a traditional corporal punishment. That's a tradition we uphold.
He raised my skirt and lifted the paddle. "Bon, you must learn not to procrastinate." He lectured a while longer, but my attention by then was on more immediate concerns.
The smooth blade of paddle impacted against my exposed skin. It hurt. It always hurts. I cringed in expectation of a follow-up swat. But he paused. For what seemed like an eternity. Am I still getting a spanking? I wondered.
I got a confusing answer when Randy reached over and grabbed the TV remote. As I awaited my inevitable destiny, he surfed through channels (as men do) until landing on a sports program. Satisfied with his choice, I smacked me again.
"Ow!" I exclaimed. I wasn't ready. I thought we were beginning in earnest. But no. He halted once more and just rubbed the wooden surface across my cheeks. He seemed to be paying more attention to his show than my scarcely blushed posterior.
After a third delayed swat, I recognized that he was teaching me a lesson about procrastination. This lesson was more way annoying than it was painful. I'd had enough.
"Are you going to spank me or what?" I can tell you his response was everything but "Or what." He whacked me good. Then he whacked me bad, pausing every so often to drive home his point. By the time he finished, my home fires were definitely alight.
After my punishment concluded, Randy surprised me again. He pulled a marker from his pocket and handed it to me along with the paddle. At his instruction, I wrote these words on the face of the paddle – "On [date] I was spanked for procrastination." Then I signed it. He displayed the paddle on the wall. He said it’s a better reminder than just a sore seat because it lasts longer.
I made the appointment the next day and I will see Doctor Grumpy on Tuesday. Fortunately, he won't be examining my bottom.
So did I learn anything? Yes, I did. I learned that my queries about getting spanked are always answered forcefully in the affirmative.
Thank you, Bonnie, for sharing that painful lesson with us.
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Have there been times when you just didn't feel like engaging in spanking? Do you postpone?
Wendel: Spankings are postponed when one or both of us are sick.
Bonnie: Yes, sometimes that occurs for any one of many reasons. We postpone, but the spanking always happens eventually.
Mija: Yes, and I could totally have done that - safe words are real and absolutel. However, what I've realized over the years that because this is about giving up control, the after effect of being spanked when I *don't* feel like it, of giving that control of telling my partner that I don't want to be spanked, that I'm scared, and his going ahead anyway is mind blowingly powerful. Not to be cliche, but there's something about not wanting it, but needing it/getting it anyway that goes somewhere really deep. Sorry for being so vague, but I've really written about this before.
Roz: Yes there have been times I have not wanted a spanking in the moment. Rick was very good at knowing whether it is a minor protest, in which case the spanking would happen or if there was more to it, in which case the spanking wouldn't happen.
Mary: My wife gives me a spanking once a month (First Friday after dinner). I suggested we try spanking once and she made it a permanent part of our now FLR relationship. I hate it but I know that she sends me up to our room at the appointed time and I do. I have asked her if this is permanent and she just answers "We'll see". Right now it is 36 hours later and my bottom is still sensitive.
Rosco: Generally
Irene and I know each other well enough to tell if it’s a good time
without asking, so it’s rare that a spanking wouldn’t take place when
suggested.
But we do have a code. If she asks if I need a
spanking and I say I don’t, that I don’t deserve one and I’ve been
obedient, it means please spank me. The more I protest the harder and
longer the spanking.
If I ask if she can do it later, it means now is not a good time. But that’s only happened a handful of times in 46 years.
Ronnie: Yes we have postponed spankings. It happens.
Graham: Of course. Very rare, but sometimes there may be other pressing matters unrelated to spanking that take precedence.
Prefectdt: There are times when a spanking does not sound so good to me. But I have the advantage, over most that come to chat here, in that I just do not go to be spanked. The exception to this is when a pay to play has been arranged sometime in advance and then on the day the mood is just not there. On these occasions I keep it to myself and go and play anyway. Just don't want to get a reputation as a last minute no show.
Hermione: We postpone when there's work to be done - snow shovelling or lawn mowing - that will leave one or both of us just too tired. If it's just that I'm not in the mood, we carry on regardless since, as Mija said, it's all about submission.
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Glory to Ukraine
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Our good friend Jean Marie was inspired by a recent brunch to compose a song parody. She gave me permission to share it with you, and here it is:
The Sounds Opposite of Silence
By Jean Marie
Hello bedspread, my old friend
I’ve come to stare at you again
Because my new boyfriend wants me OTK
He’s going to make me rue this day
With a spankin’ that my butt will ne’er forget
It’ll still remain
After the bruises have faded
In restless dreams I stand alone
As skirt goes up and pants come down
“Neath the halo of a bedside lamp
My pussy grows both sticky and damp
Then my butt is pained with the flash of his spanking hand
More than I could stand
Man, I’ll be bruised forever
And in that naked light I saw
Ten thousand spankos, maybe more
People spanking with a sense of fun
Bottoms hoping it’ll ne’er be done
Kinksters writing poems in their lover’s flesh
Eloquent
Bruises on butts unfaded
“Ouch” cried I, “That hurts so much
Spankings get so hot to the touch
Hear my pleas that you might back-off
Read my signs, you brutish jack-off!”
But I feared my words like silent teardrops fell
Unheeded like my bruises
But then this Top, he stopped and prayed
To the altar that he claimed my pert butt had made
He worshipfully deified
The derriere he almost crucified
The Top prayed, “This butt is near perfect
It just needs some color, some heat…”
“Proceed,” I said, my other cheeks blushing
And the night was filled with the sounds opposite of silence
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Do you and your partner discuss spanking?
Bonnie: A casual
observer might think Randy and I should have long ago said everything
there is to be said on this subject. But we're still talking all the
time. Sometimes the subject is serious, but sometimes funny. Sometimes
it's logistical. Occasionally, it's just a sly aside slipped into an
otherwise vanilla topic. Or a joke.
The conversation can also be
non-verbal. A paddle strategically placed on the bed. A random swat
on my butt. A fashion choice meant to intrigue.
So, yes, our answer is yes.
Roz: Rick and I have always been able to talk about any subject. We share our thoughts and feelings on issues and our desires. That includes spanking. Sometimes a serious conversation, sometimes designed to titillate or just fun. Importantly I think, we have been able to discuss what works and doesn't work for each of us spanking wise. When we had an active dynamic the topic would come up fairly frequently and would be raised by either of us.
Wendel: Spanking comes up pretty much every day. It is just a fun thing we like doing and talking about.
Barrel: Yes, we talk about the subject regularly and openly. As we are using spanking to support behavioral change, she brings up the subject weekly or so. We are both desiring for the frequency and duration to increase, and we have agreed either of us are encouraged to bring the subject up.
Rosco: Yes. I’ll
distinguish between talking about spanking during our role play, usually
sexual, encounters, and when we’re talking about those times. During
those sessions I’ll complain and beg not to be spanked which is our code
for more spanking.
Outside of those times, Irene will tell me
I’m due for a spanking and I’ll joke about it. If I ever say I don’t
need one, again it’s code that I do want one. If I say “later”, it’s
serious - now is not the right time.
We do talk about implements
and severity. I bought her a vicious wooden paddle to make it easier on
the arthritis in her hands - but it’s often too intense for my bottom. I
like it to hurt, as does she, but only to a point. I’ve also brought
home switches that leave welts which don’t bother me but they do bother
her.
Recently she got carried away and whacked my testicles with
the tip of a whip that took me, and thus her, out of our blissful zone.
She felt bad about it, but I reminded her that subs get over these
things quickly but, as I’ve read, sometimes they never get over these things
quickly, such as the wrong kind of verbal insult.
Prefectdt: I don't think that this particular is for me. I am, genuinely, looking forward to reading other peoples comments about this.
At least your comment wasn't identified as spam by Blogger this time :)
Dan: We talk about it fairly often. Not all the time, but probably once every two or three weeks. I initiate most of those discussions, but not all.
Hermione: Not serious discussions, but once in a while Ron will make a joking reference to it.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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After we talked about our favourite spanking movies last week, our good friend A.J. asked me how today's list compared with the one readers contributed to ten years ago. Here are my readers' favourite movies back then:
McLintock
Secretary
Of Freaks and Men
Ups and Downs of a Handyman
Les Memoirs de Monsieur Leon - Maitre Fesseur
The Father of the Bride
9 1/2 Weeks
Love Camp #7
Community
Meet Me in St. Louis
Spencer's Mountain
Tank
As you can see, there are a few movies that are all-time favourites!
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Are your eyes closed or open during a spanking?
Roz: I tend to fluctuate between eyes open and closed. I think I tend to close them as the spanking intensifies.
Prefectdt: I have never thought about this one before. But as I have a great memory file, in my head, of floorings and carpets, that I was looking at whilst being spanked, It can only be concluded that the eyes were always open.
Jean Marie: All of my senses are heightened/sharpened during a good spanking. I never feel more sexual than when I'm getting a really good, hard spanking, not even when I share sexual intercourse. So I try to keep my eyes open to register everything, along with that exquisite percussive sound, and the many smells, chief among them my aroused scent, contrasting with my cotton-dry mouth. I love having my vision prismed with a kaliadescope of rainbow colors as my eyes fill with tears. I can vividly remember closing my eyes with an alarmed blink when the pain grows to be too much, as when a heavy wooden paddle is utilize on my sensitized tushy, and then closing them tight as the paddling reaches its crescendo, and fireworks go off behind my closed eyes.
All of those sense memories are now a thing of the past. I don't think I'll ever have my bottom punished properly again, due to a series of unfortunate events.
Welcome back, Jean Marie!
A.J.: "...my vision prismed with a kaliadescope of rainbow colors as my eyes fill with tears"
That's a great line!
When you are being spanked, are your eyes open or closed?
Open. (Now ask if I'm smiling, gritting my teeth, or pursing my lips.)
Have you tried the opposite?
Hmmmmm. Opposite of what?
If you are a spanker, what have you observed in your partner?
Well, from her position OTK, not her eyes. Besides, there is this wonderful bare bottom inches away that I need to pink up.
Barrel: I always keep my eyes open. If the spanking is for maintenance or a prelude to intimacy, my wife usually dresses in lingerie or hosiery. As I am normally OTK and face down, I look at her feet. If we are having an extended session, I place all the implements she wants on a table in front of the bench where I am restrained. I do that so I can see what implement she starts with and know what she is using next when she makes a change. Although I can almost always tell what she is using, discerning between the two delrin canes is difficult.
Rosco: Closed
mostly. Usually these days I’m kneeling on a pouf and lying over the
edge of the bed with a pillow supporting my chin and neck looking
straight down so I can savor the experience. I like to know when the
next swat is coming but sometimes I have to guess a bit.
Sometimes
I’ll peek, either directly or via the mirror but I really prefer to lie
still and feel the sensation while absorbing whatever concurrent
lecture Irene may be delivering.
Sometimes Irene will blindfold me (and maybe tie me up) so my eyes are effectively closed anyway.
Part of our routine is that she’ll spank and lecture me, put me down
for a nap (sometimes tied up blindfolded) then return for more
discipline an hour later before other conjugal activities ensue.
Jack: My wife/mommy will during the spanking have me looked at her, she will ask me why I was a naughty little boy, I have looked at her and pleaded for her to stop I'll be a good little boy. Doesn't do any good. At the times that my mother-in-law is present, I will close my eyes and turn my head away, those spankings are the worse because of being seen by someone and my kicking, squirming and pleading, I'm reminded that is how naughty little boys react to being spanked.
Hermione: I would have thought closed was preferable, but I realized that I keep my eyes open, although there's nothing much to look at other than the pattern on the bedspread.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Welcome, one and all, to our regular weekend brunch, when we have an
opportunity to discuss a spanking-related subject. I've been battling Yahoo (my email provider) and Google all week. Yahoo has inexplicably demanded that I use two-step verification to log on. Alas, the phone number it wanted to send me a text to is my landline number. Hours later, I managed to add my cell number by using a laptop where I was already logged on to Yahoo.
That was for my vanilla Yahoo mail. It was different for my blogging email, since the only way I have to verify is with a Gmail account. Google wouldn't let me simply log on to Gmail, though. It insisted I use my current Google account and create a new email. No way! I solved this problem by using another browser where I wasn't logged on to Google. Success at last, and I also added my cell number to my blogging email, so no worries in the future.
Whew! That left me exhausted, so today's topic is
pretty simple.
When you are being spanked, are your
eyes open or closed? Have you tried the opposite? If you are a spanker,
what have you observed in your partner?
Please leave your reply as a comment, and once everyone has contributed, I will publish a summary of your responses.
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What's your favourite movie spanking scene?
Roz: I don't know about spanking movies as such, but there have been various clips in films or old tv shows. Some of them tweak the interest others just lame or funny.
Rosco: Even though I’m not a fan of John Wayne, McClintock has a great spanking scene at the end - I’m a big fan of petticoats as well.
I
thought the scene in Weeds (TV, not movies) where the drug dealer
spanked Mary Louise Parker in the car was pretty great - she thought so
too.
Of course I’m a male submissive. I’ve had some powerful
fantasies of being spanked in 60s TV shows - by Mary Ann and Ginger on
Gilligan’s Island and Billie Jo, Bobby Jo and Betty Jo on Petticoat
Junction.
There was also a scene in Dogville when a bratty kid begs Nicole Kidman for a spanking. I liked the scene but not the movie.
Wolfman: My choice is 50 Shades Darker. The reason is a romance with our female lead not depicted as being mentally deficient, In fact she comes to embrace her submissive life without sacrificing her acquired leadership skills. She remains charmingly feminine without becoming dumbed down. All in all a refreshing change.
Prefectdt: It was an F/f production from Sting In The Tail (SIT) spanking video productions. I no longer have it, as it was on a VHS tape, and is a long time gone. Unfortunately, the name of the film is also gone from the memory. But it was the first proper spanking film, in watchable quality, that I could find to buy, when I was living in The Netherlands. It was important to me, as I could show it to other people and point out the main differences between Spanko play and mainstream BDSM play.
KDPierre: I would say
"Secretary". There are things about it I didn't like, but compared to
the other possibilities, it's better by far than say, "Exit to Eden" or
"50 Shades". I think I like the main character's unapologetic
acceptance of who she is by the end. I don't like the implication in
most spank-themed movies (including Secretary) that the characters are
the way they are due to some personal damage or flaw.
My
favorite kinky scene in an otherwise non kinky movie is "Antonia and
Jane" where they play a trivia game with spanks for wrong answers.
Dan: A Dangerous
Method has a very graphic spanking scene that it also the best I can
think of for depicting what a hard spanking (or, in that case,
strapping) is like. And, unlike some other common examples, it's in a
truly good movie.
Given that I'm a "bottom" who gets hard
disciplinary spankings, I can't help but be attracted to the school
paddling scene in Dead Poets Society, though more specifically the
student's pained attempts to walk and sit afterwards.
Although
it's not a movie, Season 4 of Fargo opens with a long series of school
paddlings. There are two spanking scenes in Weeds, both of which are
pretty hot.
All of those are, of course, movies or series that
have only a scene or two with spanking. Among those where spanking, BDSM
and D/s are more central to the plot, I'd probably have to agree with
KD regarding "Secretary", though like 50 Shades, it associates power
differential relationships with having psychological issues in a way
that I don't like.
Bonnie: I've not
seen a mainstream film that didn't depict spankos as some combination of
defective, weird, cruel. victimized, fantasized, or confused. I wish
someone would make a film that shows a normal couple expressing their
mutual love and respect in a consensual manner. I dunno. Maybe that
doesn't sell like the fake stuff.
We do enjoy specialty spanking content.
Wendel: Professor Marston & The Wonder Women has my favorite spanking scene. It is an
OK movie, but I will just forward to the scene. Just wish the spankee’s
bottom was bared.
Anon: McClintock
and Blue Hawaii are the best scenes. Actresses admitted all scenes real,
partly as costumes were not conducive to fake scenes.
Hermione: The movie Tank has a good scene. Although you don't see the belt come in contact with the bare bottom, The camera concentrates on the young woman's facial expression.
I also love the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where all the ladies ask for spankings.
A.J.: Roz hinted at it: Movies that have a spanking scene, or movies about spanking with a story written about them? (I'm eliminating the companies that only make spanking videos and clips like those from (the now defunct) companies like Nu-West.)
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But it's not all work. We Canadians have a good sense of humour.
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Hard is good for spanking; not so good for baking.
A few weeks ago I decided to make a bundt cake. In case you aren't familiar with the term, it's a cake baked in a special bundt pan with a cone in the center. This allows a large cake to bake from the inside as well as the outside. I browsed through the cookbook that came with the pan and chose a recipe that included almonds and raisins. Sounds yummy, right?
 |
| Not the actual cake |
Alas, the results were not what I expected. When I tried to slice the baked and cooled cake, it put up surprising resistance. It was so hard! I thought serving it with a dollop of Greek yogurt would help, but it didn't. Either the recipe was defective or else I overbaked it, or a combination of both.
"Steak knives?" Ron quipped. The following day I carved another pair of slices and let them soak up some maple syrup before eating. That wasn't an improvement.
What to do with a large quantity of inedible cake, other than feeding it to the squirrels? I consulted Ms Google, and found a recipe for bread pudding made with cake. Cake cubes are soaked in a mixture of milk, eggs and sugar, along with more raisins, then baked. We enjoy bread pudding for breakfast so I decided I had nothing to lose.
The result was a winning dessert! Each time I served it Ron asked if we had more cake so I could make it again. No worries, there's plenty of cake in the freezer.
 |
| Not the actual cookies |
The second mishap was not mine. When family came to visit during the holidays, they gave us a small bag of Christmas cookies, made with crushed candy canes. After lunch with Ron the next day I brought them out for us to try. I selected one, trying hard not to think of the grubby childish fingers that had rolled the dough into balls then flattened them. I bit, but nothing happened. The cookie was not going to be eaten. I grasped it with both hands and tried hard to break it. No dice.
Ron tried too, but he couldn't get his cookie to yield. The candy cane crumbs had solidified during baking and had formed a solid mass of sugar. I checked some reviews for this type of cookie but didn't find any complaints about their hardness. I suspect they were just not flattened out enough to make them thin and crispy. I wasn't going to go the bread pudding route with these. They went outside for the squirrels to enjoy. Squirrels can chew through hard nut shells, so these would be no problem for them. I did wonder, though. Hadn't the cookie bakers tried one before giving them to friends and relatives?
Hard is good for spanking; not so good for baking.
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This week we discussed buying implements from a vanilla shop.
Barrel: Interesting that I look for spanking implements in many places, including antique stores, garage sales, hardware stores, adult stores and the like. And I look for more than just the implement such as gloves my wife might wear to protect against a lash rebound, mirror that I might be asked to use to watch the thrashing, pillows, fetish attire, restraints, etc. I admit to being kind of embarrassed. But I met a sales lady in an adult store several years ago who, over a lengthy conversation about what I was looking for, helped me accept who I am, I like impact play and TTWD. So, if a clerk smiles at me or nods, I acknowledge it with a wink and look to get home as soon as I can to put my purchase to work. All good!
Dan: A couple of
times. When we first started domestic discipline spanking, my wife sent
me to the mall on a mission to find a good quality, heavy wooden
hairbrush. I was convinced that every employee in the stores I went
into knew why I was there. (And, I never did find a truly heavy brush.)
The
only other time it's happened is when I bought a bath brush at The Body
Shop. I'm convinced that no one ever uses their brushes for anything
BUT spanking, so my embarrassment at that purchase seems to me to be
perfectly legitimate.
Jack: I showed my wife/mommy this question, she said how would they know, she said they want to make a sale, I don't think spankings cross their mind. I reminded her of a trip to the store, oh that one she said. I had just been spanked, it was a store where mostly older women work. Ask if she was looking for anything in particular, she said a long-handle bath brush. I looked away. At the check-out the lady smiled and said the long handle makes the difference; my wife/mommy said she hopes it does. Just when we were about to leave the lady said, my husband can tell you it does. She said the way he is walking he must have gotten a good spanking prior to coming. My wife/mommy smiled and said he did; husbands can be very naughty little boys.
Wendel: The Misses
is always a little embarrassed when we buy wooden hair and bath brushes.
She will toss in a towel just to cover it up while we continue
shopping.
At the Paula Dean restaurant and shop we got some odd
looks from the clerk that checked us out as well as shoppers. Then again
we did buy one of each design of spatula. BTW Paul Dean must be a
spanko. There were over a dozen different designed spatulas.
Roz: I have definitely felt embarrassed and uncomfortable on the couple of occasions we have gone to a adult store. Not so much in vanilla stores looking at wooden spoons etc but I can't help wondering what the staff think.
Norse Cavalier: The first
implement I bought was a clothes brush. The girl behind the counter gave
me a smirk, as if she suspected I didn't buy it for its intended
purpose, but neither of us said anything, and I didn't feel particularly
embarrassed. Let her think what she will, it doesn't bother me.
If
this was a story or a movie, there would have been some back and forth,
and it would probably have ended up with me asking her whether she'd
been a naughty girl, and whether she'd like to volunteer and let me test
my purchase on her, but those things rarely happen in real life.
I've never had any other reactions when buying pervertables, and I'm never particularly embarrassed about it.
Prefectdt: I cannot say that I feel particularly under suspicion when shopping for pervertables. Although I wonder if the staff in these shops wonder why I am buying all those spoons, but never any bowls. There is one Omnishop, that I often visit, where they have an equestrian section that includes some nice crops, batters and long, flexible, training whips in it, but I do not have the nerve to buy anything from that section. Anyone could take one look at me and conclude “Not the horsey type”, so yes, the embarrassment factor does have a swing there.
Graham: I've bought several items at vanilla stores including a carpet beater at an antique shop, one of those paddles with a saying on it at a curio shop and a riding crop at an equestrian store. The latter was sold to me by a very attractive lady. The store was empty, and I almost asked her to give me a sample. I had the sense she might have agreed but I didn't have the nerve at the time to follow through. Missed opportunity!
Hermione: I think it depends on where you are shopping. If it's a big box store and I have several other items as well, I can't imagine anyone would suspect. If it's a small shop and a one item purchase, then maybe I might feel uncomfortable. But on the whole, most cashiers aren't paying any attention to what you're buying. They want to sell this stuff and you want to buy it, so it's all good.
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It's time to go back to work after the holidays, but some people just don't care about doing a good job.
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Which will it be? Docking their wages or a spanking?
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