I have never cried during a spanking. Usually I'm enjoying it so much that I want to cheer! On the odd occasion when the pain is just too much, I may wish I could escape, but crying wouldn't occur to me.
So what makes me cry? Tall ships in full sail on the water. A sad movie. A parade. Ever since 9/11 I cry whenever I see a fire fighter or pass a fire station. Then there's the ramp ceremony on the tarmac at the airfield in Afghanistan, when our Canadian forces say good-bye to yet another fallen comrade returning home, and a piper plays a lament.
For situations of personal sadness, such as the illness or death of a two- or four-legged loved one, I usually hold myself together and stay strong for the sake of those around me. I'll deal with medical emergencies, handle practical matters, make decisions and organize whatever arrangements are necessary. When everything is in order, then I can let myself go, sometimes not until days after a crisis.
I will cry when I am frustrated and helpless to control a situation. It's pretty rare now, but it does happen. I suppose that if I were being spanked against my will, or unfairly, or if I really didn't want it and was being forced, then I might cry. But that has never been the case. I know that if I have to, I can always call a halt. And since I am almost always a willing and enthusiastic participant, tears are highly unlikely.
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10 comments:
Well said, Hermione. To me spanking is for enjoyment, and there are many other situations, like the ones you mention, where tears are appropriate. I have given some strictly disciplinary spankings, but these were usually at the insistence of the spankee, and I did not enjoy these.
Michael
Hermione, I suspect as long as you limit your spanking to sex and pleasure, crying would be unlikely. Aside from punishment, (which I think is not something you believe in) I have only cried during a spanking when I have already had tears (emotions) ready to erupt right under the surface. Then an even moderate spanking can send me over the edge. I also know it took me a long time, maybe 12-18 months to get to the point where I could allow myself to let go like that. For me it had to do with learning to be vulnerable. Crying is only important, imo, if that is something you want to be able to do.
Hello Hermione!
Back to school soon eh?
Spanking is frequently a stress buster for big stuck emotions...so tears come for me at times, but it is not because of the spanking directly.
Hermione,
I have only cried during a spanking a few times. Normally, like you, it doesn't even occur to me. Those few times, though, the tears were quite welcome. I love the release and intimacy/vulnerability of it. Max is getting to the point that he is disappointed if he doesn't spank me to tears, so my stats may be changing soon.
Thanks for writing a nice blog.
Maryann
Interesting post, thought provoking.
I cry over sentimental things too - embarrassing sometimes isn't it? Hubs and I are fairly new to this, but I also find that I only cry when the emotions are already right under the surface. I think it will be interesting to see if that changes in the future.
Michael - I agree, spankings are meant to be enjoyed.
Sara - Vulnerable. That's a tough one for me. I'm not sure I could get there from here.
Greenwoman - School starts the day after Labour Day up here.
Maryann - It's too bad that Max depends on tears as a sign of effectiveness. That might not be the best approach, unless you are okay with it.
Fanny - I can understand that. If the tears are imminent, spanking is a convenient way to release them.
Hugs,
Hermione
Crying during spanking, in my mind, can only happen if you were already on the verge of tears, and already feel emotionally overwrought. We have tried a few minor spankings with Lynn receiving the spanks, and once she was in tears from the second spank... That was also the last spank. It had nothing to do with spanking, except that it provided a way to release the emotions. Ten much harder hand spanks, any other time, has no effect whatsoever. Lynn has never had me crying during a spanking.
cheers
Mike
For me, spankings come in a variety of shapes and sizes from sexy/fun ones to stress relief to the more serious "punishment" spankings. While obviously not true of all of our spankings, for some, tears are quite appropriate.
That said, it took me literally years before I could cry from a spanking. It is definitely more a matter of where my mind is, rather than the severity of the spanking. In fact it's often more difficult for me to let go during very hard scenes than during their more moderate counterparts.
Is being able to cry a blessing? Well, there are some times that it really helps me let go of the stress I tend to carry around. However there are also times I definitely resent the level of vulnerability necessary to get there. I'm still working on that balance, but overall I'd say that the most memorable, most intense scenes I've had have involved tears and I certainly wouldn't have wanted them any other way.
I never have and doubt I ever would cry during a playful spanking. Even when they hurt, it isn't 'that' type of pain.
I do cry during punishment spankings, however, and frankly feel that it's important that I do so. One thing to keep in mind, however, is that I do not get punishment spankings for trivial things. A few swats, yes, but the only real punishment spankings have been for big issues that really needed resolving, and the tears were primarily tears of regret because I realized that my behaviour had been hurtful.
Being able to cry that way, really expose my vulnerability, let go of my sorrow, my stress, my regret, and then be taken up in my lover's reassuring arms...I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I didn't expect to cry when I got spanked for the first time.
And I've only cried once. But it wasn't from pain I don't think. It was my first disciplining (My first good disciplining) and I started crying on the last whack.
I don't know what triggered it.
But I most certainly never cry during a play spanking
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