From time to time I order skin care products from an online pharmacy that offers reward points. Recently, the reward offer (50,000 points after spending a minimum amount) was too good to pass up, so I ordered some products that I regularly use.
Included in my offer were several samples of products I have never used: neck cream, upper arm cream, facial mask, booty mask.
Wait, what? A booty mask? The label promised a firmer, tighter bum with regular use. So I tried it. The label warned to wash hands after applying, and that there might be a tingling sensation. I dipped my fingers into the jar and rubbed it onto my less-than-firm bottom.
Unfortunately, some of the cream strayed into the sensitive area between my cheeks, and my "rosebud" was on fire. Yeowch! I tried to wash off the cream in that area as best I could, but it didn't stop the fire. So I reached for my container of Bag Balm and rubbed some on. If you aren't familiar with it, Bag Balm was originally developed to treat the udders of cows with mastitis, but it has since become quite popular with humans. It's like medicated Vaseline, and is very soothing on delicate areas of the body.
The jar of Booty Mask went into the trash, and my butt cheeks sizzled for about an hour or so. I'll have to learn to live with an unfirm, loose bottom. No more masks for me :)
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
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6 comments:
I'm sure you're husband would have gladly volunteered to carefully apply it, as you were draped over his lap, avoiding the ultra sensitive areas. Missed opportunity!
I thought a burning butt was what we were all going for - carefully applies of course.
Ouch. I’ve gotten Ben Gay or something similar on my testicles and in my eye on occasion. Very painful.
But I recently mistakenly brushed my teeth, or began to anyway. Curiously minty fresh, i thought - but I just rinsed it out and there was no pain or harm.
Rosco
I would have thought a "booty mask" would have been known as...underpants. :)
Hi Hermione,
For some reason your blog keeps disappearing from my blogroll then re-appearing.
Ooh ouch! I 'm always skeptical about these lotions and products with miracle claims lol.
Years ago I used to read on domestic discipline blogs about product such as capsicum cream being used to create a fire when spanking wasn't possible. (A "silent spanking". This kinda reminds me of that.
Hugs
Roz
You found something that did all that and you threw it away? ;-)
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