From this brunch ten years ago, the options picked by my readers for most and least comfortable were:
- Male spanker and female spankee - 7 / 0
- Female spanker and male spankee - 3 / 1
- Female spanker and female spankee - 6 / 0
- Male spanker and male spankee - 1 / 6
Let's see how we fared this year.
Bonnie: I don’t think non-spankos will be comfortable with any of these permutations, except perhaps in a hanky spanky bedroom context. Accordingly, I think their spanko preferences, if they have any, will parallel their sexual preferences.
Spanky53: My experience is that Male Spanker/Female Spankee and and Female Spanker/Female Spankee are a tie. The hardest for Non-Spankos to accept is Male Spanker/Male Spankee. That being said my experience also has been that Spankos have a harder time accepting Male Spanker/ Male Spankee than Non-Spankos.
Graham: I have zero interest in M/M though I certainly don't mind if others are into it -- none of my business as long as it's consensual. I can't possibly know, but I suspect that most non-spankers would find M/M most difficult to understand. But, as noted above, they likely identify most easily with their own orientation.
Dan: I think Female Spanker/Male Spankee has a lot of negative connotations for some, including that the male in that situation is unmanly. Others have said, in response to your question, that Male/Male may be the hardest for some to understand or accept. I'm not sure that's true. I think they may not themselves gravitate to it, but that doesn't mean they can't understand it. There is a Male/Male spanking group I follow on Reddit and, honestly, I think there are more posts on it that I find similar to my DD spanking lifestyle than is the case with the other DD spanking groups, which are predominantly F/m. I've also found that those latter groups tend to be pretty uninviting to those of us in Female/male dynamics.
CEM: I think the majority of people would find M/f the most "normal" due to societal standards of males being dominant. But most people would probably find F/f the least "threatening" due to the presumption that it was a kink, fetish, two lesbians or whatever, but with the so called "patriarchal" aspect removed, and women being physically less strong, less potentially "abusive" and those other misguided notions.
Roz: I'm not sure on this one but as noted above I'm not sure non-spankos would be comfortable with any of the above but may perhaps be able to understand their own orientation a little more. As also commented above I think perhaps M/M may be the most difficult.
Rosco: I’d guess
people in my group would be more comfortable with fm than mf, since it’s
less likely to be associated with abuse, and it’s fun!
Like many men, I don’t like much to think about what gay men do.
I love to
look at pictures of women spanking. Best if they’re wearing a nice dress
or sometimes lingerie. Ok if they’re angry or whimsical.
I’m
mixed about seeing the victim. If it’s male it could be me. But I love
to look at a round plump female bottom, sometimes still wearing panties.
Even
though I might have been a spanker if my wife was willing, I don’t
generally like to look at men doing the spanking. It makes me think of
abuse. My mind knows it’s not, but I still tend not to look.
Prefectdt: I have to admit to having only limited experience of explaining TTWD to non-spankos. I agree with Graham above, though. Talking to them about F/m play does avoid a lot of preconceptions, that they might have about partnership abuse and manipulative behaviour. Giving us a chance to distinguish ourselves as consenting players, not to be grouped with abusers. In my limited experience, the hardest thing about to non-spankos is overcoming the misconceptions that they already have, ranging from spankos being abusers or victims of abusers to they gave/received a light patty cake spanking, as part of foreplay once. Making them think that they know all about it already.
Red: Very
difficult to say what non spankos think, as we have never talked to
anyone about spanking who is not into the idea of spanking. Many would
think it abusive, I imagine.
Maybe we should all be saying that we
do not find spanking in any way abusive, and just as I am happy in a F/M
situation, I know Ron and you are happy in a M/F relationship.
Meeting
friends who are in the opposite spanking (M/F) situation might even
have the man being reluctant to meet because of what he thinks the new
couple are actually thinking.
We do not find spanking to be in any way abusive, but actually enhancing our love for each other.
Cindy
has occasionally said she was wrong and should be spanked, and I have
agreed by bending down and planting a firm kiss on each cheek, with the
firm reminder that if the behavior was worse, it would be on her bare
bottom. We both laugh afterwards, and the problem is solved. Every
couple might try this just to have a laugh. Just do not tell your
partner what you are going to do when saying you should be spanked for
this.
KDPierre: I don't think it's possible to answer this question for "non-spankos" since they are as diverse a group in their thinking as spankos and therefore would lean in different directions depending on a lot of factors. Personally, however, as a spanko who has come out to plenty of non-spankos, I have found that me being a sub male who GETS spanked rather than doing the spanking, has amused and resonated more than if I came out and said that I spank my wife. My wife also has gotten more "you go, girl!" responses from non-spanko women that seem to support this trend as well. But our experience is skewed by the type of people we are comfortable coming out to. It is definitely not a random group where I would expect the responses might well be quite different.
Wolfman7446: male spanker female spankee - feminine, soft, and lovely.
Hermione: As others have said, it's hard to see things from the non-spanko's point of view. But I think, since the advent of the Sixty Shades books, most non-spankos would be most comfortable with M/F.
Slava Ukraini
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