50 Shades of Grey - America Speaks Out

 The satirical website The Onion asks Americans what they think of the phenomenal success of the novel 50 Shades of Grey. Publishing house Vintage has sold 10 million copies in just six weeks.

Here are three opinions:

"Whatever happened to the good old days of finding a cheap paperback with women spanking each other on the cover in your dad's sock drawer?"

"I was really excited about it until I opened the book and guess what? It's just a bunch of words."

"Idiots. There's no way there are more than 12 shades of grey."



And there you have it. Don't take these seriously; they are meant to be tongue in cheek. (Click here for the original article.)

From the Top Shelf - Too Much Information

This week's selection from the top shelf is from the satirical news site, The Onion, and describes what happens when a couple is too out in the open about their kinky preferences.

S&M Couple Won't Stop Droning On About Their Fetishes

SANTA FE, NM–According to friends of Jason Roder and Gina Von Poppel, the sexually adventurous couple won't stop droning on about spanking, caning, ball gags, erotic photography, fetish parties, leather, rubber, PVC, latex, whips, floggers, and countless other S&M-related objects and activities.

Roder and Von Poppel, who have been dating for almost four years, began experimenting with sadomasochism in July 1999 after buying a few S&M-related items at Santa Fe's Naughty & Nice adult video and novelty store.

"It wasn't until I began experimenting with domination and mistress role-playing that I really discovered myself sexually," Von Poppel has told dozens of people over the years. "It's so liberating to explore the threshold between pleasure and pain."

Meredith Engler, a close friend and former college roommate of Von Poppel's, said she has frequently found herself subjected to hours-long accounts of the couple's S&M exploits.

"Gina and Jason have a pretty open-minded group of friends and, at first, we all thought it was cool that they were being so frank about sex," Engler said. "That was our mistake–giving them an opening."

As Roder and Von Poppel delved deeper into sadomasochism, they began dominating nearly every party and social event with endless talk of fetishes, secret fantasies, and forays into bondage and discipline.

"As Jason is constantly pointing out, it's not S&M that they're into: It's BD/SM, which is bondage-domination and sadomasochism,'" Orwitz said. "Apparently, there's a big difference between S&M and B&D. Just ask them. I dare you."

After many unsuccessful attempts to subtly communicate her irritation to Roder and Von Poppel, Engler determined that she needed to be more direct.

"Last Friday, Gina was blathering on and on about domination, and I couldn't help but say, 'Well, you're certainly good at conversation domination,'" Engler said. "I can't help but wonder if this S&M thing is all a cover-up for their real fetish: talking to people about fetishes."

There's more. Read the full article here.