Sunday, November 2, 2014

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #44

Welcome one and all to our regular weekend discussion. Today I'd like to share a question I received in an email. The writer is currently unattached, but is looking for a permanent relationship with a person also interested in spanking.

When is it appropriate to bring up the subject of spanking? Should you wait, or introduce it early in the dating period? How do you suggest this be done?

Leave your reply as a comment and I will publish your suggestions once everyone has had an opportunity to speak.

From Hermione's Heart

11 comments:

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

I would wait until the relationship is a little established. Even if someone might not be interested if the issue is sprung on them early, they may be willing to try for someone they are comfortable with.

Baxter said...

it was well into our marriage, which this year is 31 years. probably I brought it up early and was turned down as being a pervert. but probably 10 or so years ago, she understood after reading a Fiona Locke book of spanking novels. I had to ask her for a spanking and she gave it. It now is becoming more of her telling me to bend over. Just as I want it.
Baxter

alex reynolds said...

While I know lots of couples who were able to introduce the idea of spanking into a relationship after it was already formed with great success, I honestly think that if you're looking to find a new relationship and spanking is important to you, it might make sense to date in the spanking community intentionally. I know lots of people who have met on sites likes www.spankingpersonalads.com and it's worked out really well for them. It can be tricky to find someone who is both compatible with you as a person and a spanko, but I think that starting with the common spanking interest can be the better way to go!

Anonymous said...

Our spanking started later in our marriage. It started with me giving her light pats during sex, then one night she told me to roll over and spanked me. After it was over she said you liked that didn't you. I told her yes and later we checked a few spanking sites and she has been spanking me since.
archedone

Anonymous said...

As early as possible; decide if your future partner can live with an often red and smarting bottom, and before her trial spanking whether she is going to charge you with assault or snuggle happily in to your arms on completion. Her first spanking should not be on her bare bottom, tight jeans or skirt will be fine, nor with an implement, a well applied hand will provide all the sting she needs. If she is ok with that, it won't be long before she graduates to a hairbrush on the bare, and then who knows ?! D>

Our Bottoms Burn said...

I would not want to be with anyone that did not share my spanking interests. I would introduce spanking after a few dates.

sub hub in phx said...

In my FLM, the idea was brought up well into the marriage. The only way I felt comfortable bring it up at all was because I loved her very much, I trusted her very much and we always had a policy that we could be honest with each other without fear of, well rejection. That being said< there was no guarantee that this lifestyle was something she would agree to jut because I brought it to her. Thankfully, everything worked out that way.

Wisdom comes to us later in life. Knowing what I know now, I would've now always recomment that whenever the desire is realized is when an honest converdation about to be had within a relationship.

Just my opinion.

Ni Na said...

Hubby introduced spanking, and he did that early, while dating, before marriage. But we started with the playful version and he communicated that he wanted dd in our relationship. I had no clue about dd until he told me, but I felt absolutely safe with him and trusted him completely. It was good that I did that. Maybe he was just clever in how he introduced dd, because I already knew the good-girl version of spanking from him and was open to try dd.
Whether this approach would always be the best, I don’t know. But if dd is so important for one of the partners, they should really discuss this, the other partner should learn about it and try small steps. I think honesty is important here and I cannot imagine that a partner who craves dd but does not communicate this need, could be happy in the relationship in the long run.

Nevertheless, I know that not everybody is open for dd and discussing the topic then could cause problems.

sixofthebest said...

If your date, displeases you. Tell her she needs a 'good spanking', if she consents. Give her one right that moment. Hopefully she will also consent to you giving it on her knickers down bare bottom.

Sir Wendel Jones said...

I would suggest finding out early in the relationship. I tested the waters during dating. When the opportunity presented itself I would give her a little smack on the bottom. Turned out she liked it and often returned the favor.

Jenn said...

If he's completely opposed to the idea, it doesn't matter when you do it. If he's into it, earlier is better. So go for it and bring it up on the third date. If he's pure vanilla, at least you'll find out early.