Yesterday I made a Ukrainian paska or Easter cake. I'd never made one before but our local paper published the recipe and it seemed only right to make it as a small tribute to the Ukrainan people at this time. I hope you like it.
Our good friend Bonnie suggested this week's topic.
Do you think that adult spanking is inherently sexual?
I know my answer to this one, but what is your opinion? Leave your response as a comment, and I will publish an edited summary of our conversation when the cake plate is empty.
Glory to Ukraine
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14 comments:
I would say yes/no, I get an erection once I know I'm getting a spanking. Never fails, and worse if someone is present. My wife reminds me all her female friends have seen it before, no big deal. Doesn't take long for it to go limp once the spankings begins. So sexual, in my case I needed a Wife/Mommy, it is the Mommy who does the spanking, not the Wife. Being seen by others, Mommy baring my bottom or telling me to take all off, others present I enjoy it to a certain extent. Being spanked, kicking, squirming, pleading, can't help it but wish no one would see it. Facing the wall, red bottom on display, comments made, not fun. When told to come to my Mommy, say I'm sorry, hands at side, all on display, I sometimes not always think it is sexual. My Mommy now has me put on my jammies, no matter time of day, just part of the punishment. She then tells those present, I'm going to bed early, will be given a spanking prior to bed time, in the morning will be given a bath. I stand there say nothing,the looks I get, I want to run and hide. Once again depending on what I did to get a spanking, I could be back facing the wall, Mommy pulls down the bottoms, no rubbing or talking, understand, Yes Mommy. Jack
I suspect there is almost always a sexual or erotic component to it, though I do think motivations and reactions can vary a lot. Most of the people I've "met" through various spanking blogs say they had a very strong interest in spanking from an early age. That wasn't true for me. I didn't discover and try adult spanking until I was well into my 30s, and I didn't have much interest in purely erotic spankings. It was only when I kind of stumbled on upon adult disciplinary spankings that something clicked very strongly within me. I definitely had a sexual reaction to it, but I don't think the reaction was to spankings per se but rather to some mix of accountability and authority. If you take out those two elements, spanking isn't really arousing to me. For me, spanking carries with it a lot of erotic energy, but it's kind of indirect. So, if by "inherent" you mean something like "inseparable" or "inextricable," then for me the answer is mostly "no." I think spanking can be separated from the sexual elements, though I don't deny it's a very complicated mix.
Spanking is sexual for me. Not necessarily during, but definitely the build-up and afterwards.
Hugs
Roz
For me more sensual than sexual. I've never used it for foreplay and I can think of only a handful of times that spanking led to sex. I'm a dedicated sensual sadist spanko. Sex has never been the end game for me.
Yes it is. It is a part of our having sex. I get erect when thinking about getting spanked and my wife does a good job of the spanking, just enough to keep me erect and not go limp. We get into the sex and she always has the riding crop ready and throughout sex, she spanks me with the crop, again just enough to keep me erect and she will also tell me how naughty I am, while I am performing. My wife acquiesced to the spanking of me probably 20 years ago after saying early in our marriage it was perverted. Good topic
For me and for Irene, absolutely. Occasionally a spanking may not directly lead to sex, but it’s still sexual.
Rosco
Yes. Spanking (to me) means hitting a fleshy area of the body with your hand. As a general term, it means hitting the buttocks. It can also mean hitting the thighs or the breasts, which are all intimate areas.
Spanking someone's bottom stimulates the nerves that serve their genitals. That makes spanking inherently sexually stimulating.
There's also the presentation of private parts during the spanking, which is sexually stimulating as a rule.
Plus, it is intimate, so that in any relationship it also serves to reinforce the intimacy of the relationship, and therefore the sexual relationship.
That doesn't mean it can't be other things. It can certainly be a punishment even if it is also sexual. It can reinforce submission, even where that isn't sexual.
I think spanking can be more sexual or less sexual, but just as a matter of degree. However, I know there are people who perform spankings and claim not to have any sexual component. That can come from it having an association purely with some kind of non-sexual dominance or the infliction of punishment to correct behavior.
But I think in that case, the people involved are working around the sexual stimulation of the spanking itself.
When getting spanked was just a fantasy, it was completely erotic.
When my wife finally agreed to assert control of our marriage and take me over her knee, it became a lot less simple. She decided that she would give me a monthly maintenance paddling on the first Friday of the month. A ritual spanking. Over her knee, time in the corner and then a lecture and back over her knee. The second spanking is long or short based on whether or not I have been a 'good girl'. There is absolutely nothing sexual about the spanking itself.
But the period before and after is incredibly erotic. She refers to it as my time of the month. The days leading up to that Friday, I make every effort to please her. I am convinced that the happier she is, the milder the spanking.
The days afterward my wife is incredibly sexual. She takes me whenever and however.
I LOVE this topic!
YES, spanking is extremely sexual for me. Spanking is the BEST foreplay, and aftercare is best expressed for me with sex. If left up to my druthers, I'd get a moderate, loving (not TOO harsh) spanking every morning upon waking, followed by a quickie (but super satisfying) coupling, maybe in the shower together if we were pressed for time. Then, after a day filled with opportunities to earn a real punishment, I'd get my just desserts, followed by more involved (lengthy, creative, dirty) sex. I agree whole-heartedly with Roz in that I don't find the actual spanking sexy, but the before & after are the EPITOME of sexuality for me.
Now just to find someone who feels the way that I do (and meets other criteria) to complete this aspect of my life.
Warmly,
Jean Marie
We find spanking a sexual interface and connection. We almost always have sex after a spanking. Occasionally small, short spankings without intimacy will be part of the build up for a longer and more intense session. But for us, they are definitely connected.
Nice topic,
Barrel
Yes, for us, it is absolutely always sexual. This might not be my first thought at the moment of impact, but if not, it's certainly the second.
For me, simple answer, spanking is not usually part of a sexual encounter. Although I do not mind if it is, but like many male spankees, spanking makes Mr stiffy go away. So on the occasions that it has happened, there has to be a lot of alternative foreplay between the spanking and any act of penetration. This is great, but you have to have a lot of time available.
Prefectdt
A yes and no answer. Many of my spankings are sexual, in that they lead to sex shortly afterwards, but some only two or three days later. Some ae because Cindy is really upset about something I did, and they are simply punishment, as our outlet of not staying mad for days, or at one time not even talking to each other. However, the sex, whenever it occurs, is also wonderful after one of these spankings. Short small spankings usually do nt even eliminate a on the spot erection.
bottoms up
Red
Absolutely! I can't remember when I was ever spanked and didn't give my wife an orgasm almost immediately thereafter. Mine is sometimes delayed for a while but is always connected.
This is clearly a "to each his/her own" topic.
Graham
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