Recently I was reading an article in the paper, and a quote struck a chord with me. The person being interviewed said that the way she presented herself to the world was false and, "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me at all."
The 'me' who writes here and enjoys reading blogs and talking to other people interested in spanking is very different from the 'me' that most people see. I like the 'me' that's out here in blogdom. I don't care as much for my other self. You probably wouldn't either. What you see here is the real me, honest and open about a very important part of my life.
Sometimes I get a bit confused between the two me's, and for seconds or even minutes at a time I'm not sure who I am. Maintaining two separate identities was a bit unnerving when I first started this blog. It's becoming clearer now. The two selves aren't as disparate as they once were, and the good things about the self you see here are starting to seep into that other self you can't see. The more I write, the more comfortable I feel about this 'me'.
Bonnie's recent post generated a lot of interesting comments. She said in her reply, "I think it would be refreshing to just be me all the time." Imagine it. What a luxury. The other comments that various readers left made me realize that we are all at different stages of 'outness'.
Some of us are totally out: we use our real names and are completely open and honest to everyone about the lifestyle. Others of us use various combinations of pseudonyms and disguised details, and keep our secrets within the family, limiting our revelations to only our partners and maybe some close friends. Still others of us cannot even bring ourselves to tell our partners the basics: that we read or write spanking blogs, or that we need to spank or be spanked.
Yes, it would be nice to be just one me, all the time.
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