Overheard

It's a rainy day, so time to go shopping at Walmart. You won't believe what I overheard!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Still Staying Safe

Even though official restrictions have been removed and things are pretty much back to normal, Covid has NOT gone away here. We still have new cases reported each week, and sadly, a few deaths. So Walmart shoppers are taking no risks as they hunt for bargains.

Stay safe!

Glory to Ukraine

Overheard at Walmart

Although Walmart is now open again, occupancy is limited, and I don't fancy liming up for an hour to shop. But some people are eager to grab those bargains. 

 

Stay safe, folks!

Friday FUN

I'm not venturing anywhere near Walmart these days. The parking lot still seems almost full, and there is a lineup out to the road. But here are some conversations our hidden microphones picked up.

Stay safe!

Friday FUN

Ron and I went to Walmart yesterday, just to look around, and as usual we saw several Walmartians doing their shopping. Ron later sent me a funny story  to share with you.

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Did she think, that I had an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Walmart won't let me shop there anymore.

Have a great weekend!

Friday FAIL

I need to pick up a few items at Walmart, so let's see who else is shopping today.

 #selfie

It never gets any better, does it?

Friday FAIL

In the meme I wrote this week, one of the questions was about Walmart. That reminded me that I hadn't posted my latest Walmartian pictures, so here goes! There are bottoms galore on display today.

 Are those hands measuring the size of her butt?

That's how he rolls.

 Patriotic cheeks!

 Waaaay too much to spank here

Quite enticing, doncha think?

Happy Friday!

Friday FAIL

After my husband Ron retired, he insisted on accompanying me on my trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, like most men, Ron found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, I love to browse and that leaves Ron with endless time to fulfill.

Yesterday I received the following letter from our local Wal-Mart:

Dear Ms. ______:

 Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.  We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. ______, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice: "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away".
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

 6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" EMTs were called.

 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed, "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked,  "Where is the fitting room?"

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here." One of the clerks passed out.

Thank you,
The Management

Now we do our shopping at Target.

Friday FAIL

It's Black Friday, a day for pandemonium at the malls and retail outlets, when people commit mayhem to buy something they don't really need for a few dollars off except that the prices are artificially inflated so there are few real bargains to be had but it's a post-Thanksgiving Day tradition and everybody does it so we will too!

Yup. We're going to have some fun at Walmart today.

Believe it or not, these are not boobies or extra-high bumcheeks.

And what is your bottom saying?

Meanwhile, in the changing room

Well, there's always the competition. Let's go to Target!



Happy shopping, everyone!