Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 7

If you wanted to explain how your relationship operates to a sympathetic but vanilla friend, how would you do so?

Bonnie: Thank you for posting the link so I could go back 15 years and see what I wrote. I like that explanation, but I think this post, originally from the following year, says it better.

Quentin QBuzz: 'We both enjoy spanking and being spanked, and we spank each other regularly, usually as a prelude to sex'. Seems pretty straightforward when you put it like that! 

This might actually come in handy as I am occasionally shocked at just how vanilla some of our friends are, and there's always a chance they might stumble across one of our paddles or something...

Years ago before I found blogland, I didn't plan on telling a friend about the spanking, but I decided to tell her that I was working on being more submissive instead. Because she had a religious background, I thought maybe she'd be okay with that even though what Storm and I were practicing at the time was NOT CDD. Anyway, she laughed and laughed. So I just let her assume I was joking.

I wouldn't tell anybody, but if we got "caught", I would just say marriage needs a little bit of kink in it.  

Jack: I would say it is what I need, being a male, that would sound different and not the norm. Dating, I learned that the woman being in charge, taken the lead, was less stress. I would bring up the spankings, remind them not sexual, put punishment, crossed the line. I would tell them our sex life is strong. Mostly I would stress I got married, knew it would be hard, but knew my wife was the person who would keep it going. 

Roz: Hi Hermione, I definitely don't plan to tell anyone, but I would emphasise that spanking is entirely consensual, we both enjoy it and that we are equals in the relationship. Plus it's hot lol, and leads to greater intimacy and connection.

Barrel: I think the key word here is sympathetic. I would explain that in my professional life, I was an Alpha/driver. I learned early on that becoming a bottom and asking for spankings helped me balance myself. I have been blessed to be married for over 40 years to a wife who understood that need and was willing to indulge with me. This form of intimacy has, and continues to help our marriage. Now we both use it to relieve frustrations, stress and almost always as a prelude to intimacy. 

Prefectdt: I have not got a relationship to explain to a vanilla friend. Not so long ago I did try to tell a cousin about my spanko side but as he did not even know what BDSM stood for I found it impossible. In the end I sent him a WhatsApp link to my blog.

Hermione: I hope it never happens, but if I felt the need to explain I would say that spanking is something that turns both of us on, and it's foreplay for us. I would emphasize that I am NOT being abused, and that it is entirely consensual. My elderly friends might be shocked, but most people are quite aware of kink and might in turn share their own secrets.

Thank you all for joining the conversation. Until next time, stay safe!