Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for September 26

How would you react to someone being outed at a party?

KDPierre: Hermione, this has got to be one of your best brunch questions, ever! How could I not play along?

Well, a lot would have to do with the reaction in the room, since one always needs to 'know their audience'. If it was shock and a bit of vanilla disapproval adding to Barbara's embarrassment, I think my Rosa and I would both jump in and publicly confront the disapproval by admitting to everyone as having the very same dynamic as Barbara and Jane.

If the reaction was more receptive, amused and playful, I might encourage a conversation between them and Rosa and me so we could "compare notes". If I didn't feel Barbara needed 'rescue' I might even playfully tease her a bit myself.....as one in the same boat to another. But either way, I would certainly let the two know they weren't the only couple there that spanks for behavior....or misbehavior, and even in teasing, I would let Barbara know that I was subject to the same discipline as her.

And in either case, I know my darling Rosa would not hesitate to address any questions with adamant endorsement of such an arrangement assuring whomever asked that she would handle a snippy attitude from me in precisely the same manner as Jane.

Bonnie: It's not my business. I would not pry unless I thought there was abuse. I think it's their story to tell or not tell.

Anon 1: Since Jane outed them, I would talk to them privately later on and see if there was some interest in discussing our favorite subject either at the party or at a later date. 

Roz: I think it would depend on how well I know them. Generally speaking, I think I would be too gun shy saying anything in case it's not appreciated. Plus that is one area of our life I keep quiet.

Having said that though, if I know them well enough I may start out with something like "well, I never knew that!" and see where the conversation goes from there.

Dan: I get oddly embarrassed at other's embarrassment, to the point that I will sometimes put the TV on mute if there is a scene involving a character being humiliated in public. So, I'd probably turn red myself and stare at my feet, waiting for everyone to start talking again. But, depending on my relationship with "Barbara," I might sneak over later and tell her cryptically but suggestively that I sympathize on multiple levels.

morningstar: Interesting topic Hermione.

I think IF I had been at that party - I would have been shocked by Jane's announcement - I didn't need to know their personal business nor did anyone else at the party.

My opinion is based on my belief that the party was 'vanilla'. IF it were a BDSM party things might be a little different, though I would still not get involved - the whole scenario sounds like humiliation play and that form of play pushes my buttons.

Jeanie: I think the reason this scenario has such potency is because it is both a huge fantasy and a source of real dread. In real life, if I were to be called out publicly as a spanko, I would never recover. On the other hand, I've fantasized about this happening innumerable times. I can no longer distinguish between what I've experienced in wet dreams and what I've imagined while awake and day-dreaming.

Anon 2: I would likely approach Barbara much later, acknowledge I heard, and tell her from different perspectives I understand.

I dislike humiliation so would never approach her at that moment with others reacting.

Anon 3: It seems disingenuous to discuss the overheard spanking comment with either of them without sharing that my partner spanks me - not something that I would want to do. 

Jack: I would have told Jane later she should have just taken Barbara to the ladies room or someplace private, given her a sound spanking and then returned to the party. It would be known shortly that Barbara was spanked.

Wendel: I would not do or say anything to Barbara or Jane. Every chance I got to glimpse Jane’s backside I would probably image her getting a bare bottom spanking.

Barrel: Like several others, I would approach Barbara and tell her that I too, am spanked by my wife. I’d try to reassure her that spanking is a normal exchange of affection. If it were just the two of us, I’d ask how she was spanked, sharing my last spanking experience, trying to reduce her embarrassment. 

Prefectdt: I am presuming that this is a vanilla party. My first, knee-jerk, reaction would be to think, "If I could upset Jane, would she spank me too?" But hopefully I would not be so crass as to act on this thought, in this situation.

If I got to talk to Barbara on her own, away from other guests, I would ask her if the arrangement was consensual. Other than that, I would not do anything. I do not believe that I have the right to interfere in other people's relationships

Rosco: I might say to Barbara, “Jane can be quite the bitch, can’t she?”, hoping the comment might get back to Jane and she might spank me as well.

One of my fantasies has been going to an unofficial reunion party with friends from high school with my wife Irene. I politely introduce her to folks including Vicky and Susan - two girls whom I briefly dated during those awkward years. Susan is impressed with my manners and tells Irene she must be doing something right because I wasn’t so well behaved in high school. Irene tells them she’s sorry about my past but that she does need to paddle my naughty bottom to keep me in line. I turn red as as beet. Vicky and Susan laugh and ask if they can watch sometime.

A.J. It's my brunch question. And while I know "Barbara" (a cute cyber pen-pal), I do not know her partner, "Jane," nor that much about their relationship. I do know that Barbara does like to be spanked in a fun sexy way, and while she may be spanked as punishment for some silly thing on very rare occasions, I'm sure really hard punishment spankings are not her thing.

I wracked my brain about what I would have said if I had been at that party. I think there is one answer: Humor. Diffuse the tension. I would divert the attention from Barbara and Jane to me.

I think what I would have done is stand near Barbara and say to Jane in one really blurt of words said so quickly no one else gets a word in:

"You're going to spank her? Oh, God; can I watch? Oh, please, please, please....She has such a cute bottom. Will it be it bare? 'Cuz I'd pay cash money to see that!!!! Whatever's in my wallet!!"

Along that line until someone (preferably Jane) laughs. And then boldly with an evil grin on my face:

"And after you do her (put arm around Barbara) - do me, too!! 'Cuz we're pals and we share everything!"

I think I would have said that whether I knew Barbara or not. If I didn't I might have still said it but later privately and quietly ask her, "Are you OK? You're not being abused, are you?" Because there is that possibility.

To Jane later and privately, it depends on how she reacted to what I said. If she smiled, I'd tell her we can all say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and then what KDPierre said above, "encourage a conversation...compare notes," that she and Barbara are not alone.

If she didn't smile, I don't think I would say anything to her.

As a post-script, Barbara was very embarrassed and very angry at Jane for publicly outing her. Their little secret got out! From what I understand, as soon as Jane outed Barbara she immediately knew she had stepped over the line. And later, did what we all do: apologized, and apologized, and apologized. 

Ronnie: Personally I wouldn't say anything at all to either of them.

Hermione: I would like to think that I would go over to Barbara and tell her that probably half the people at the party were also into spanking, then ask the room for a show of hands. In reality, I wouldn't do anything.

Thank you, A.J., for such a thought-provoking topic.