Now that the holiday season is officially here, it's time to do a bit of shopping. Times have changed over the years, so here's a list of what NOT to buy for that special someone. Yes, these are real ads.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Are punishment spankings a turn-on for you?
Jack: Not in this home. My wife/mommy finds punishment spankings are just that. Not going to guess when it comes to the female, a male has no clue.
Bonnie: Yep. I said it. Punishment spankings are definitely a huge turn-on for me. Always.
Barrel: Yes! I relish the planning and mental build up to a punishment spanking. Ours are whippings with the crop, strap and tawse or our two delrin canes. I do admit to growing increasingly hesitant up to the day before, and reluctant the day of, while being strapped onto the bench. However, the emotional connection to my wife and cleansed mental state as I am peeled off the bench are worth every stroke. In fact, we are planning one now ;<)
Luvinhub: At this time we are no longer in a WLM. However, when we were, punishment spankings were for sure a turn on for me. Not during the spanking but before and after it was definitely a turn on. While my wife never said it was a turn on there was one thing that seemed to say it turned her on.
Graham: The antipation and preparation are huge turn ons. The actual spanking is, of course, not a turn on. My erection always disappears. The after care, which almost inevitably follows, speaks for itself!
Roz: For me the turn-on was usually after the spanking. The dominance from Rick, the intimacy, the sore red bottom and greater feeling of closeness.
Rosco: An interesting question that strikes right a the heart of our obsession with TTWD.
I’m
not exactly sure of the definition of “punishment spanking”. But I’ll
say that if Irene is really angry with me for something, she’s likely to
ignore me if she’s not ready to discuss the problem. She wouldn’t see
spanking as a solution.
That said, Irene does like to make it
hurt. She uses a variety of mostly leather whips, straps and paddles -
usually delivering 3 or so sessions over the course of an hour.
Sometimes it’s all I can do to endure the spanking without saying it’s
too much. (We don’t really use a safe word, but if I beg her not to
spank me, it means I want more. If I ask if we can do it later, it means
now is not a good time.)
So every session is pretty intense.
When the sting subsides, the powerful eroticism returns. The role play
is all about “punishment”. Irene will use one of many personas for
herself and tell me what rules I’ve broken and why I must be
disciplined, taught a lesson - punished. But it’s all role play. Not
what most people describe as “punishment” spankings.
Good question.
Prefectdt: Punishment spankings just don't work for me. I can pretend to be getting punished, but it always turns onto a fun event, between my ears. So, can't say that I have ever really experienced something that felt like punishment, in a consensual adult context.
S: I agree with Bonnie punishments are hot or should I say funishments are hot. I love taking a supposedly naughty woman over my knee and telling her how I hate to have to punish her, but it is the only way she will learn. I get a thrill telling her that when I am done spanking her fanny, she will not be able to sit for a week. I enjoy watching her go stand in the corner afterwards to think about why she was spanked. I truly love everything about funishments.
Ronnie: Most of the time for me the turn on is after the spanking has happened. The dominance of P and the emotional connection with him.
KDPierre: I agree with others that it's a before and after, but not during, kind
of thing. And even the before and after is more about the turn-on of
being in such a situation than the mechanics of it. But punishments are
punishments because they are FOR something and if it's something worthy
of a punishment, odds are it's not something anyone is looking at with
fun or sexiness. It's going to be an atmosphere of hurt feelings,
disappointment, possible anger, guilt, and a whole panoply of feelings
not generally associated with feelings of being 'turned-on'.
Switch that to something more playful and the spanking itself becomes fun and a turn-on.
A.J.: I saw that line in Bonnie's comments. It caught my eye and that's why I did a, "Hey, Hermione!"
As KD wrote: "But punishments are punishments because they are FOR something," so if you look forward to it, is it punishment?
I
only spank or get spanked (mild vs. wild, a nice pink vs. a scorching
RED bottom) for the sexy fun of it, so it surprised me that one could
actually LOOK FORWARD to a fierce spanking with implements. (I
associate punishment spanking with implements.) I also imagined me after
delivering a punishment-level spanking to my GF, and winding up with a
crying, blubbering, face full of tears and running mascara woman caring
then only about her tush!! And not me? Who wants to make love to that?
But - some people look forward to punishment spankings! Whodathought? Learn something every day...!
KDPierre: TO A.J.: >>>>>>>>>>"But - some people
look forward to punishment spankings! Whodathought? Learn something
every day...!"<<<<<<<<<<
When
responding here to complex questions, words sometimes fail to capture
the exact feelings involved, since responses are generally kept short.
This topic is actually one of those very nuanced and "hard-to-explain"
things, and I would say your 'look forward to' is not what people meant.
I only saw a couple responses where anyone said they even had 'before'
feelings at all, but what I believe they are talking about is not an
eager sexy longing for punishment but a kind appreciation of being wowed
and admiring of those who take confident charge of us...which when
the shit isn't flying can be sexy to ponder.
Even for me, who
admitted 'before' feelings, I'd have to say it's not a 100% of the time
thing. There have been plenty where I was in a more resisting, defensive
frame of mind beforehand than anything even remotely sexy or eager.
Sometimes if the punishment is for something more minor or for something
"I" am very guilty over and feeling the need for punishment for, the
before can be emotionally positive.
During is generally not sexy.
And
the 'after' is again more of a feeling of having been absolved,
reconnected, and admiring and respectful of the disciplinarian...which
if pondered sufficiently can be sexy things to think about.
But
I often wonder when this topic comes up how many people actually DO
punishments AS punishments? Some say right from the start that they
don't, others refer to "funishment", and even those who say they do
engage in punishments might be doing so for very different levels of
transgression... and I can tell you from years of experience,
that it is very different to get spanked for leaving the toilet seat up
versus getting one because the dominant spouse was genuinely hurt over a
remark or deed. Both real offences. Both technically punishments, but
MILES apart on the emotional intensity level. The first while 'real' can
almost be playful, while the second could come after a highly-charged
argument, and be executed with tears of hurt, feelings of anger and
remorse and all sorts of things that I stated in my first post are not
conducive to sexy anticipation.
So, if you are thinking of things
like that being sexy to people, your reaction is valid, but I doubt
that is happening in most if not all the cases being considered here.
(Just wanted clarity between folks who do things differently and are
trying to understand one another.) ;-)
Hermione: Our spankings are foreplay and never for actual punishment, but punishment is what is going on in my mind. The thought of being punished is the only thing that turns me on, so that's what I pretend is happening. Once the spanking is over, I am thoroughly aroused and ready for what comes next.
Different strokes for different folks, amiright?
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Welcome back, dear friends. I hope you aren't too tired after Black Friday shopping, if you ventured out to the malls instead of shopping online. I did the latter and got some great deals on clothing.
Our good friend A.J. pointed out something that Bonnie said at last week's brunch, and thought it would make a good topic for discussion. I agreed, and I hope you do too.
"Punishment spankings have always been a huge turn-on for me, the best in fact." Is this true for you, too? Sometimes? Never?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a
chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
We discussed a possible euphoric feeling after being spanked. Have you ever felt it?
Jack: It is not happiness after a spanking, more or a feeling of relief. The reason for the spanking has been addressed and time to move on.
Bonnie: Yes, whether you call it post-spanking euphoria, subspace, or spankee's
high, this phenomenon is real. When my spanking begins, I feel
overwhelmed by the intense pain radiating from my target region. But as
the spanking progresses, the pain becomes less immediate. It still
hurts, but it's now manageable. My mind slows and I drink in the spicy
experience of being punished. I eventually surrender to those feelings,
relax, and embrace my fate.
Punishment spankings have always been
a huge turn-on for me, the best in fact. But I don't connect with that
aspect until the festivities are well underway. At these moments, I am
open to almost anything. Any residual tension and stress have melted. I
am happy. I am at peace. I am willing. I feel love for my man. I am
eager to show him.
Rosco: I’d call the feeling delicious rather than euphoric.
Probably
2/3 of my spankings are followed by sexual activity within an hour. For
those that aren’t, I’d say that delicious hot feeling lasts 6 hours or
so.
The feeling varies slightly by implement - wooden paddle vs
leather vs strap vs riding crop vs switch. The little welts left by the
switch might last the longest.
Roz: Yes, I have definitely experienced a 'high' post spanking and there have been times we have both felt it. I think it's a mixture of relief and a greater connection to each other. For me there is also a sense of dare I say pride? In having endured the spanking. There is nothing like feeling the effects of a spanking for some time afterwards as well.
Prefectdt: I most certainly do get a high after a spanking. Strangely, usually not just after (although sometimes that happens), but it usually kicks in twenty minutes to an hour, after the event. It is typically more intense than the high that I get during a spanking and it is what I crave most from a play event. How high I get and how long it lasts is frequently related to the intensity of the spanking. Anything from twenty minutes to the whole rest of the day, until bedtime. The most notable thing that happens during this high, is the loss of any sense of time. Back in the early 2000s I had a memorable pay to play, with a very talented, German Mistress. Afterwards I sat on a concrete bank, overlooking a river, feeling my pulse, through the welts across my buttocks and watching the boats go by. It seemed like ten minutes, but when the watch was checked, I had been there for over an hour and a half.
Wendel: Always, that euphoric feeling is our favorite part of the spanking, even more so when spanking outdoors on a mountain trail. We just love the feeling of a sore bottom.
Barrel: I absolutely get a euphoria that is unmatched from anything else. The strongest feelings are the result of an intense and prolonged session. I am unsteady on my feet when I stand up off the spanking bench, with spinning sensations and full body weakness for about 30 minutes. While the physical effects may be felt for up to a week, I find I have a mental fog for an hour or so. However, the most pronounced feeling is an emotional cleansing and sense of well being that again, I do not get from any other experience. I am well…for the most part. Thanks for the thought provoking topic this week.
KDPierre: It's an elusive thing that needs very specific conditions to manifest,
primarily a substantial length to the proceedings, pain which is
significant but not so severe as to be distracting or turn into
something else, and a receptive frame of mind. And depending on the
reasons for the spanking, those conditions will intentionally be
avoided. (It's pointless for a Top to conduct a punishment spanking and
have it end up in blissful sub space. Punishment is meant to elicit
contrition not euphoria.)
When this euphoria does hit though, in
other types of spanking, it lasts first until the spanking that caused
it lasts, and after the spanking stops extends a few minutes more, but
not longer than that. It's an endorphin buzz after all, and those aren't
prone to lengthy duration unless kept going with more spanking to keep
the endorphins flowing.
A.J.: "There is nothing like feeling the effects of a spanking for some time afterwards...." - Roz.
I'm with Roz.
I'm
a switch and don't give or take hard or punishment spankings. That
said, on the receiving end I still, and often do, wind up with a
pink-to-red tush. (Sometimes bright red!)
Not sure "euphoria"
is the right word, here. I enter the moment knowingly, it was my choice,
and the apprehension before is pounding in my head and, every time I am
thinking, "What ARE YOU DOING???"
But to Roz's point, it
is what happens after. The thrill of "It's over..." Bottom is tingling,
a bit sore but nothing much. "Do I want a bit more...?"
It will
not last too long; maybe an hour. Then I will concentrate to remember
how it felt, and what it was like to be OTK, over her beautiful warm
thighs, and how much I loved (Yup!) the women kind enough to do this.
MANY
hours later, around midnight and in bed, tingling gone or near gone, I
re-live it all over again in my mind. That's the impact (Sorry...) it
had on me. "Euphoria?" Sure. But add "love" to it.
If it's me doing the spanking then it is always sensual. And memorable. I dream about that, too!
Graham: Have definitely experienced that feeling though, as noted above, it may
come hours later or even the next morning. If we go straight to sex,
which is most often, then it leads to the greatest orgasm imaginable!
Hermione: I certainly have felt a sense of bliss during and after an especially long and hard spanking. The afterglow can persist for close to an hour, if I'm lucky.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
You're just in time for brunch, so come in and find a soft place to sit. Today's topic was first suggested by our dear friend Barrel, who I hope is feeling well and will join us today. It was subsequently suggested by Bonnie, so I think it's well worth discussing.
Some spankees experience a euphoric feeling after they have been spanked. Have you or your partner felt this afterglow? If so, how long does it typically last?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a
chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
This week we discussed regional spanking customs.
Jack: Nothing regional just a very traditional spanking.
Wendel: For traditions we always spank each other on our birthdays. In the birthday suit.
Not
sure if is a custom but the paddle hangs proudly in the kitchen of our
Irish home. Just like the olden days it is easily retrievable for
spanking when naughty. It is not removed when people come over. Very few
have ever made a remark about it hanging on the wall.
KDPierre: I'm 100% Polish and am well aware of smigus-dyngus day tradition on the Monday after Easter, but not only is my wife Peruvian, but she is the spanker in our relationship so the tradition which typically plays out in M/F fashion just doesn't click for us. So, aware? yes. Participate? Unfortunately, no.
Rosco: Well Irene takes on many personas in her role play. She doesn’t plan
ahead, but sometimes she’s decidedly British. -maybe a governess,
sometimes a senorita, sometimes French. And I did buy her a sexy dirndl a
few years ago so sometimes she’s a luscious Madchen. She also does
various American roles - cheerleader, southern belle, teacher etc.
It’s all pretty spontaneous and I can’t imagine her thinking a senorita would spank differently than a governess.
Roz: No regional customs or traditions here. Our spankings are spontaneous, in the moment and we go with the flow.
Prefectdt: Back in my early days, as an adult Spankee, I used to do the adult schoolboy thing. Right up into the 1990s. I think that many other countries do this around the world, but it was highly prevalent amongst UK adult role players. I know that schoolroom stuff is a bit looked down on now, but it was a lot of fun at the time. In the low countries, it does seem to happen a lot, that at the end of an F/m OTK spanking, that the guy gets shoved onto the floor. I am not sure if this is a tradition or not, but I have been shoved onto a lot of floors. Never had that happen in the UK or Germany.
S: I love American style funishment spankings especially bending over for swats utilizing wooden paddles and over the knee for a good hairbrushing on a deserving bare bottom.
Bonnie: Here in the US, we have lots of spanking traditions, some being more authentic than others.
We have birthday spankings with one swat per year plus one to grow.
There are school paddlings where spankees lean forward and places their hands against the wall.
There are sorority paddlings too. Those paddles definitely got used. Kinky college girls!
There is the tradition of paddled cheerleaders which I suspect was propagated by video producers.
There are southern whoopings with a belt, strap, or switch.
Next, we have domestic spankings delivered OTK with a small paddle or hairbrush.
In
school, we played a game called spanking machine where the honoree
crawled between the legs of a series of classmates who swatted them as
they passed.
Our mainstream movies and TV from the sixties and before contained lots of spankings and spanking references.
I'm sure there are more, but these come to mind.
Hermione: Way back when I went to school, the strap was in common use for disciplining naughty boys. They were used by the principal in his office, while teachers wielded wooden rulers to maintain discipline in the classroom. Even though girls were never sent to the office to "get the strap" it is still my favourite implement. Rulers not so much.
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Glory to Ukraine
Lest We Forget
In many countries around the world, we honour those who fought in the two great wars on November 11.
Now on to our friendly discussion of spanking, which is also enjoyed all over the world. (Just scroll down to the bottom of this blog to see how many countries I've had visitors from.)
Are there any regional spanking customs or traditions that you incorporate in your sessions?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for the idea.
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Glory to Ukraine
Since I lost my cache of folders full of images destined for this blog, I have had to revert to the last ones saved, which are over a year old. So some of these signs may have appeared here before, but they're still funny :)
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Glory to Ukraine
For those of you with an interest in the study of bees, from a regular reader.
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Your thoughts on cowboys.
Wendel: I do love the cowgirls. Long flowing hair, jeans and boots, oh my.
And who does not love watching John Wayne spanking Maureen O’Hara in the barn.
Roz: Oh yes, cowboys! The sometimes rough, tough looking exterior. Yes, the jeans, boots, hat etc. Mostly the sense of strength, power and masculinity.
Bonnie: I think it's all the attributes that Roz mentioned, plus one more big one - Leather! Belts, gloves, harnesses, reins, crops, whips, cords, even saddles, coats, and boots. They're all made of leather. I think about how all that leather must smell and how it would feel to the touch. So many soft, flexible stinging pervertibles.
Rosco: Well, I’m a heteronormative submissive man, so I can’t speak to cowboys, but I’ll speak cowgirls more or less.
I’ll commend the Bellamy Brothers song “Redneck Girl” - not exactly a cowgirl but close enough.
And we once had access to a tack room with all the riding crops lined up. Not really western but also similar.
Then there’s the idea of the barn, a literal roll in the hay, boots, petticoats or tight jeans and, of course, attitude.
Jack: It was a time where women respected their man, they had a role in life that meant being who they were, a woman, a female, one who needed a man, one who wanted to have children. Was brought up knowing this. I suppose there were a few trips to the barn in those days, and some trouble sitting in church, but was just a part of life.
KDPierre: To me there is absolutely nothing appealing about cowboys/cowgirls in
the context of the spanking lifestyle. I also believe that the concept
of the romantic/sexy and especially noble cowboy is as much as myth as
other popularized aspects of the "Hollywood Western". They were all just
people like anyone else and probably just as prone to being shitty as
everyone else. (If you think about it, historically cattle towns had to
employ all sorts of methods to keep these people from behaving too
unruly. Saloons provided opportunities for gambling, excessive drinking,
and prostitution...hardly traits that make for an admirable
authority figure.)
And while driving cattle is admittedly a
difficult and necessary task requiring effort and skill, it is not an
occupation known for employing intellectuals and academics. And given
the nature of the job, I can only imagine they had to smell like a
combination of sweat and horse...not for me, thank you.
Prefectdt: The Hollywood depiction of a rough and ready guy, used to controlling great herds of large steaming beasts. Always with a length of rope, a whip, and other leather things ready at hand, who could drop from their horse and easily take a female in hand. This all adds up to a great Toppy figure. However, the same filmmakers did not treat cowgirls in the same way. They were usually the ones getting spanked, so cowgirls do nothing for me. If I am going to fantasize about someone on a horse, it will be the lady of the manor. Wearing skin tight jodhpurs and a well tailored riding jacket, crop in hand, ready to hand out swift justice to any transgressing person on her land.
Dan: I don't disagree with KD about the attributes of real cowboys. But, the
unruliness, the excesses, the fact that they rebel against efforts to
control them...I suspect that's exactly why many submissives fantasy
about them as dominants. Other male dominant archetypes in the romance
books seem to include mafia dons and bikers. Some people are clearly
attracted to not just bad boys, but bad boys who are uncontrolled and
plain old dangerous.
My father actually was a cowboy and, without
going into details, kind of the epitome of the unruliness and excesses
KD identifies. I've wondered whether some of that is at the root of my
adult desires to be disciplined, subject to someone else's unpredictable
power, etc., even if it manifests in a F/m dynamic.
And, as Bonnie says, there is the leather. :-)
Anon: I have no insights to offer, but when both the spanker and spankee are wearing cowboy hats it seems much more sexy, fun, and dynamic.
Hermione: I'm with Prefectdt on this one. I much prefer a tall, lean riding instructor in tight breeches and shiny black boots, armed with a riding crop, surrounded by a handy hay bale and all that supple, well-oiled leather.
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Glory to Ukraine
Welcome back, dear friends. I've been doing some reading this week, here and there on various spanking book sites, and was amazed at the number of stories that featured cowboys as the chief disciplinarian. Obviously this has an appeal for a segment of our spanko population. What do you think?
What is it about cowboys?
Please leave your response as a comment below. Once everyone has had a
chance to speak, I will publish an edited summary of our conversation. Thank you, Bonnie, for the idea.
Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine
For those of you who are fans of all things bum-related, here's the perfect holiday gift. Adore You and Love Your Bum is a personalizable mug featuring you and your significant other. The clothing, hairstyles and background are all changeable, as are the sexes. Go take a look.
Thank you, Boru, for sharing that link.
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