Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for November 26

Are punishment spankings a turn-on for you?

Jack: Not in this home. My wife/mommy finds punishment spankings are just that. Not going to guess when it comes to the female, a male has no clue.

Bonnie: Yep. I said it. Punishment spankings are definitely a huge turn-on for me. Always. 

Barrel: Yes! I relish the planning and mental build up to a punishment spanking. Ours are whippings with the crop, strap and tawse or our two delrin canes. I do admit to growing increasingly hesitant up to the day before, and reluctant the day of, while being strapped onto the bench. However, the emotional connection to my wife and cleansed mental state as I am peeled off the bench are worth every stroke. In fact, we are planning one now ;<) 

Luvinhub: At this time we are no longer in a WLM. However, when we were, punishment spankings were for sure a turn on for me. Not during the spanking but before and after it was definitely a turn on. While my wife never said it was a turn on there was one thing that seemed to say it turned her on. 

Graham: The antipation and preparation are huge turn ons. The actual spanking is, of course, not a turn on. My erection always disappears. The after care, which almost inevitably follows, speaks for itself! 

Roz: For me the turn-on was usually after the spanking. The dominance from Rick, the intimacy, the sore red bottom and greater feeling of closeness.

Rosco: An interesting question that strikes right a the heart of our obsession with TTWD.

I’m not exactly sure of the definition of “punishment spanking”. But I’ll say that if Irene is really angry with me for something, she’s likely to ignore me if she’s not ready to discuss the problem. She wouldn’t see spanking as a solution.

That said, Irene does like to make it hurt. She uses a variety of mostly leather whips, straps and paddles - usually delivering 3 or so sessions over the course of an hour. Sometimes it’s all I can do to endure the spanking without saying it’s too much. (We don’t really use a safe word, but if I beg her not to spank me, it means I want more. If I ask if we can do it later, it means now is not a good time.)

So every session is pretty intense. When the sting subsides, the powerful eroticism returns. The role play is all about “punishment”. Irene will use one of many personas for herself and tell me what rules I’ve broken and why I must be disciplined, taught a lesson - punished. But it’s all role play. Not what most people describe as “punishment” spankings.

Good question.

Prefectdt: Punishment spankings just don't work for me. I can pretend to be getting punished, but it always turns onto a fun event, between my ears. So, can't say that I have ever really experienced something that felt like punishment, in a consensual adult context.

S: I agree with Bonnie punishments are hot or should I say funishments are hot. I love taking a supposedly naughty woman over my knee and telling her how I hate to have to punish her, but it is the only way she will learn. I get a thrill telling her that when I am done spanking her fanny, she will not be able to sit for a week. I enjoy watching her go stand in the corner afterwards to think about why she was spanked. I truly love everything about funishments.

Ronnie: Most of the time for me the turn on is after the spanking has happened. The dominance of P and the emotional connection with him.

KDPierre: I agree with others that it's a before and after, but not during, kind of thing. And even the before and after is more about the turn-on of being in such a situation than the mechanics of it. But punishments are punishments because they are FOR something and if it's something worthy of a punishment, odds are it's not something anyone is looking at with fun or sexiness. It's going to be an atmosphere of hurt feelings, disappointment, possible anger, guilt, and a whole panoply of feelings not generally associated with feelings of being 'turned-on'.

Switch that to something more playful and the spanking itself becomes fun and a turn-on. 

A.J.: I saw that line in Bonnie's comments. It caught my eye and that's why I did a, "Hey, Hermione!"

As KD wrote: "But punishments are punishments because they are FOR something," so if you look forward to it, is it punishment?

I only spank or get spanked (mild vs. wild, a nice pink vs. a scorching RED bottom) for the sexy fun of it, so it surprised me that one could actually LOOK FORWARD to a fierce spanking with implements. (I associate punishment spanking with implements.) I also imagined me after delivering a punishment-level spanking to my GF, and winding up with a crying, blubbering, face full of tears and running mascara woman caring then only about her tush!! And not me? Who wants to make love to that?

But - some people look forward to punishment spankings! Whodathought? Learn something every day...!

KDPierre: TO A.J.: >>>>>>>>>>"But - some people look forward to punishment spankings! Whodathought? Learn something every day...!"<<<<<<<<<<

When responding here to complex questions, words sometimes fail to capture the exact feelings involved, since responses are generally kept short. This topic is actually one of those very nuanced and "hard-to-explain" things, and I would say your 'look forward to' is not what people meant. I only saw a couple responses where anyone said they even had 'before' feelings at all, but what I believe they are talking about is not an eager sexy longing for punishment but a kind appreciation of being wowed and admiring of those who take confident charge of us...which when the shit isn't flying can be sexy to ponder.

Even for me, who admitted 'before' feelings, I'd have to say it's not a 100% of the time thing. There have been plenty where I was in a more resisting, defensive frame of mind beforehand than anything even remotely sexy or eager. Sometimes if the punishment is for something more minor or for something "I" am very guilty over and feeling the need for punishment for, the before can be emotionally positive.

During is generally not sexy.

And the 'after' is again more of a feeling of having been absolved, reconnected, and admiring and respectful of the disciplinarian...which if pondered sufficiently can be sexy things to think about.

But I often wonder when this topic comes up how many people actually DO punishments AS punishments? Some say right from the start that they don't, others refer to "funishment", and even those who say they do engage in punishments might be doing so for very different levels of transgression...  and I can tell you from years of experience, that it is very different to get spanked for leaving the toilet seat up versus getting one because the dominant spouse was genuinely hurt over a remark or deed. Both real offences. Both technically punishments, but MILES apart on the emotional intensity level. The first while 'real' can almost be playful, while the second could come after a highly-charged argument, and be executed with tears of hurt, feelings of anger and remorse and all sorts of things that I stated in my first post are not conducive to sexy anticipation.

So, if you are thinking of things like that being sexy to people, your reaction is valid, but I doubt that is happening in most if not all the cases being considered here. (Just wanted clarity between folks who do things differently and are trying to understand one another.) ;-)

Hermione: Our spankings are foreplay and never for actual punishment, but punishment is what is going on in my mind. The thought of being punished is the only thing that turns me on, so that's what I pretend is happening. Once the spanking is over, I am thoroughly aroused and ready for what comes next.

Different strokes for different folks, amiright?

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine