I'm back with the answers!

I'm back in blogland, thank goodness. My hardware problem has been temporarily fixed, and I expect a permanent solution sometime next week. It was so strange to be away from blogging even for a short time. How dependent we are on the internet!

I was delighted with the questions I received, so without further ado, here are my answers. Complete the Caption will appear tomorrow instead of in its usual Thursday slot.



Ronnie asked: Do you have a spanking fantasy that you would like to fulfil?
What was the first implement (other than hand) Ron used to spank you?
One item on your bucket or wish list?
I have often wished that I could have dinner at Hell's Kitchen during a competition, and watch Gordon Ramsay spank one of the chefs for burning the scallops.
The first implement Ron used was a wooden paint stirrer.
I want to learn to play the violin.

Rosie asked: You often refer to English TV programmes and I recall a post you did some time ago about English street signs. Do you have a connection with England?
When I was growing up, every classroom had a Union Jack flag and a portrait of the queen. We started each day by saluting the flag before singing God Save the Queen. I consider myself a British subject first and a Canadian second, and I am an ardent Monarchist. So that's my connection. As far as televisions programs go, we both enjoy the British ones so much more than the Canadian or American ones (with certain exceptions like Breaking Bad, The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire). There's just something appealing about them; perhaps it's the very different lifestyle that is portrayed.

Jan asked: Have you ever done something naughty that Ron couldn't resist spanking you for?
Have you ever been to England? Where is your favourite place to go on holiday? 
Ron doesn't spank for punishment, so when I do something naughty, he would be more likely to withhold a spanking.
I have never been to England but sincerely hope I will visit it one day.

Minelle asked: You probably shared this but, did your spanking relationship evolve after you two began or was it always there from the beginning? 
We had been together for three years before Ron gave me a spanking during an intimate moment. We were both overwhelmed by how much it turned us on, and the rest is history.

Six of the best asked: Hermione, do you have a spanking phrase that you like to hear from your ever loving husband, when he commands you to bend over to be spanked on your bare bottom? I have one, which I use when I spank a naughty woman. Such as "My dear, I am going to raise that dress of yours, and take down your knickers, for being so naughty and cane that voluptuous naked derriere of yours with delight".
Ron often doesn't have to say anything; his look is enough. His usual phrase is, "It's time for your whuppin'."

Downunder Don asked: This may be more of a brunch question but....how many spanking people do you think there are...one in a million, one in a thousand, one in ten???? As time goes on my estimation seems to make the number grow larger and larger.
I have no idea, but I agree, the number must be much larger than most people think.

Baxter asked:  Your bio on your blog says you are a professional woman. Are you a Type A in a powerful executive position that just begs to have your significant other spank your bottom good? Or what - do tell?
I am no type A, and would hate to be in charge of a large corporation.  I'm a hard worker, but not a team player; I prefer to work alone. I am self-employed and work from home, so I can do as much or as little as I like, and the only dealings I have with other people are via email. It's the ideal setup for me.

Cat asked: My question is non-spanking related. If time and money were not an issue, where would you travel? Or would you?
My fondest dream is to travel to Britain and see as much of it as possible. Ron would love to go to Australia, where we have relatives.

Amy asked: How did the Spanking Brunches start and how long have you been hosting them? What is your favorite topic so far and why?
Our good friend Bonnie started the brunches on My Bottom Smarts in January, 2006. The first one was an experimental "open mike" invitation to readers, and the response here was enthusiastic. The first official brunch was posted a week later, and Bonnie explains here why she thought it would be fun for newbies and experienced spankos alike. I hosted a few brunches over the years when Bonnie was away, and when she semi-retired from blogging, I offered to host the brunches permanently. I officially took over in January, 2014, and hope to continue them for as long as there is interest.

Lindy asked: A lot of questions I wanted to ask have already been covered. So my question is where do you get all your stories from? 
Once upon a time there was a blog that published stories regularly. When the owner died, the blog was deleted. I thought it would be a shame for all those stories to be lost, so I retrieved as many as I could from online archives. Those are the stories I am sharing with you now. I have also shared excerpts from books I actually have, and also post stories that readers send me.

Dr. Ken asked: How about something simple, like your height and hair color? You may have this information out there already, but I'm too tired to try and look it up....
And what is your favorite color?
I am tall and my natural hair colour is medium brown. My favourite colour is blue.

Enzo asked: Are there a top three type of spanking stories/fantasies that you enjoy the most?
And one I have always wondered about - why did you choose the name "Hermione" and "Ron"? Obviously you are a HP fan, but is there more to it?
There are certainly some types of stories that push the right buttons for me: 

• naughty teen spanked by a parent in the kitchen or in the study
• naughty teen spanked at school in the principal's office
• lazy or incompetent secretary spanked by the boss 

I chose our pseudonyms simply because I was reading the Harry Potter series at the time. I would have preferred my husband to be "Harry" but that wasn't the way the story ended!

Questions, anyone?

March is question month, so you now have the floor. I can't imagine what I haven't told you about my spanking experiences, but if I've left anything out, now is your chance. You may ask me anything, and I'll answer you to the best of my ability. (I won't give you my cell phone number, though.)

What would you like to know about me?

More Questions

Meredith over at New Twist After All These Years  came up with a fun list of questions. Not 92, thank goodness! I thought they were pretty interesting so I've posted them below with my answers. Please feel free to use them on your blog, and if you like, answer the last one as a comment here.


Do your eyes light up when he comes to you? Like a deer in the headlights.

What sports do you watch together? None. On Sunday, he watches football upstairs and I watched PVR'd shows downstairs.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is lingerie when it usually ends up on the floor? 3

Do you watch Netflix's House of Cards? We've seen season 1 on DVDs from the library. We have also seen the original version on BBC starring Ian Richardson. This week we are watching seasons 1 and 2 of Enlightened with Laura Dern. It's excellent!

What outdoor activity do you do together? Walking and gardening

What is his dream vacation? Travelling to Prince Edward Island

What is your dream vacation? Visiting Britain

What is your favorite book of all time? I've just finished reading a biography of Alf Wight, the author who wrote under the pen name James Herriot, so I'd have to say that All Creatures Great and Small and subsequent books are high on my list of favourites.

What was your last argument about? I can't remember. We never argue; I just say "Yes, Sir".

Are there any words you use that he does not like? He would not be pleased if I told him to f*** off.

Do you have any restrictions about internet time? Ron gets upset if I'm on too long, so I restrict my time to two hours before breakfast (I'm up early with the dogs) and a quick look after lunch.

Do you have a phobia? Spiders. We have giant garden spiders in the fall that build huge webs all around the house. I have to be careful when I open the door in the morning not to walk into them.

When do you melt into his arms? When he slaps my bottom

Are you watching Outlander? It just started last Sunday and it's programmed into the PVR, but I haven't watched it yet. I didn't care for the book but am anxious to see how they do the spanking scenes.

Does your HoH have a motto? "It's time"

What is your question for me?

So Many Questions

Last week Bonnie posted the 92 questions meme that she found on Alex's blog. I liked it, but pared it down a bit, eliminating questions that I didn't understand or couldn't relate to.  I ended up with 70, and that's still quite a lot!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Not likely. It was my satellite TV provider
2. Opinions on sex before marriage? It's a must
3. Best room for a fireplace? A cold one
4. Is trust a big issue for you? It's very important in a relationship
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I hang out with my husband every day
6. What are you excited about? Our new iPad case - it's genuine leather and it was free!
7. What happened last night? Ate dinner, watched Coronation Street
8. Ever have plastic surgery? Not yet
9. Which are better - black or green olives? I prefer Kalamata
10. What is the last beverage you had? Water

11. Ever won a contest? Yes, for a temperance poster at the yearly school fair when I was 10
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? They went to Goodwill long ago
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Cook us a delicious meal then watch Saving Mr Banks
14. What are you going to spend money on next? Groceries
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes, my husband and I are going out to buy groceries
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Change into what?
17. Can you swim well? Yes
18. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Even better, I can hold my nose without holding my breath
19. Have you had sex today? Not yet
20. Regularly burn incense? Occasionally

21. Are you in a good mood? So-so
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Not unless they were the inflatable kind
23. Ever take dance lessons? Ballet, jazz and modern dance
24. What do you want right this second? Play Candy Crush
25. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Not any more
26. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot
27. Tea or coffee? Coffee with breakfast, tea after lunch and in the afternoon
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Our dogs
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes, Canadian folk singer Stan Rogers
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Usually

31. Favorite type of cookie? Mr Maple
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Of course
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No, I have the occasional sugar-free Pepsi
34. Listening to? Coast - an internet radio station in New Zealand
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Every day when I do logic puzzles
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? My husband is in the bedroom, still asleep
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Oh, yes indeed
38. Who did you last call? A female relative
39. Do you study better with or without music? With classical music
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love him

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Can't remember
42. Who would you like to see in concert? Joan Baez
43. What was the last concert you saw? A live recreation of the Ed Sullivan Show
44. Do you tan in the nude? No. Tanning of any kind is dangerous
45. Are you patient? Will these questions never end?
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No, it's hard to talk while wearing a mouthguard
47. Who was the last person to call you? A representative from the Microsoft Security Department, who told me he had detected a virus on my computer, and would walk me through the steps to remove it.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Not if there's anyone within earshot
49. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?  Yes, in high school. I don't want to talk about it.
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes, and I was a pretty good shot

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? University graduation
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some are, some aren't
53. Is Christmas stressful? Yes, but not as bad as it once was
54. Ever eat a pierogi? My grandmother made them regularly, but I didn't care for them much
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Blueberry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Cowboy
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes
58. Ever been in love? Sure, and I still am
59. Take a vitamin daily? Several
60. Wear slippers? Regularly

61. Wear a bath robe? It's a necessity when I take the dogs out at night
62. What do you wear to bed? Panties and tank top
63. First concert? My public school Christmas concert
64. Walmart, Target or Kmart? Walmart - there's so much to see there!
65. Nike or Adidas? I've worn both in the past
66. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheddar-flavoured popcorn chips
67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Roasted almonds
68. Ever won a spelling bee? Only the informal ones in the classroom
69. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? It's possible
70. What is your favorite book? I have read so many I couldn't choose a favourite one
   

More Answers

I received some more questions last week from a few inquiring minds, so here goes:



Q: I think a lot of us see you as an icon, a celebrity in our spanking world. Do you see yourself that way?
A: Goodness gracious no! I see myself as a very small fishie in an ocean of excellent bloggers, many with far more experience and talent than I have. I just do my best to swim along with the current.


Q: Do you identify as more a spanko and not a submissive?
A: Actually, I am very much a submissive. My husband and I have a D/s relationship, and it has been that way from the start. He is in control of how we proceed through life, and I follow his lead. The fact that I love to be spanked is very fortunate for me, as it is a perfect way for me to submit to Ron.


Q: Part 1. I assume when you're spanked you experience the endorphin rush that is often identified as part of subspace. What do you call it?
A: I experience an endorphin rush every time I receive a spanking. I don't have any particular name for it, other than a feeling that adrenalin is flowing. It makes me welcome the pain and crave more. Subspace, on the other hand, feels like an out of body experience to me, although everyone perceives it in a slightly different way. I am aware of what's happening, but sort of floating above it. It doesn't happen all that often, but when it does I quite enjoy the feeling.

Q: Part 2. Does it always, typically, occasionally, or rarely translate into foreplay and then sex?
A: That's up to Ron. Usually the spanking itself is not associated with sex at that moment, although sometimes it happens then or later.


Q: What's your favorite spanking position and has it changed over time?
A: My dream position is being bent over the soft, rounded, overstuffed arm of an upholstered chair or sofa, with my ankles secured to the legs of the furniture.


Q: Is there a position that stings more than the others?
A: If I am lying flat, any implement seems to sting more.


There are still a few days left in Q&A month, so if there's anything you want to ask me, now's your chance!

You asked...

...and I answered. It's Question and Answer month, and here are my answers to the questions you asked me.

Q: How do you keep up with interesting topic ideas to blog about when you post every day?
A: I stay on the lookout for likely subjects for blog posts wherever I go. Some of my material is inspired by television, newspapers, and overheard conversations. It helps to have regular features on several days, so I don't have to think of completely new topics each day.


Q: How much time do you spend looking for the great things you are always posting on our blog?
A: Most of my material comes from email subscriptions to various humorous sites as well as accidental finds on other websites. I'd say I spend about an hour a day just sifting through my emails in search of useable pictures.


Q: What is your favorite flower?
A: I love pansies and violas, with their sweet little faces smiling at me in the spring. For indoor houseplants I like cyclamen and gloxinias best.

Q: What is your favourite game?
A: I would love to try playing a home version of Chopped. It's a cooking show where chefs must create a series of dishes using mystery ingredients. Four contestants begin, but they are "chopped"  one by one after each round, and the last contestant wins the grand prize. I think it would be fun to play at home.


Q: Do you ever get annoyed that spell check doesn't like keeping "u" in words like favourite?
A: Yes. Sometimes there isn't an option to choose the British dictionary. But then, Canadian spelling is a hybrid of both British and American. We add the "u" to words in the British style, but we use the American form of spelling words like "analyze", not  the British "analyse". They haven't come up with a Canadian spellchecker. as far as I know.


Q: Were you spanked at school and do you play on occasions that scenario with Ron?
A: No, girls were never physically punished when I was at school. That was a privelege reserved for naughty boys. Ron and I don't engage in role-play, so that scenario never happens.


Q: What first led you to reading and writing blogs?
A: First I discovered the wonderful world of online spanking sites with Ron's help. Then I accidentally stumbled on one blog, then another, and once I had figured out what blogs were,  I was hooked. It was several months before I left my first comment, but soon I was one of Bonnie's regular visitors. I was thrilled when she asked me to write a guest post and even more thrilled to actually see it in print. I knew then that I wanted to be a blogger too. A few months later, Hermione's Heart was born.


Q: Have and Ron always had a spanking relationship or did one of you initiate it at some point?
A: I told that story on my blog here.


Q: Who would you cast to play you in a movie about your life?
A: Minnie Driver. I loved her in Circle of Friends.

Q: Do you play any type of musical instruments or did you in school?
A: As a child I had a toy glockenspiel that I loved. When i was in high school, folk music had just become popular; I had an acoustic guitar and played songs by Joan Baez and Ian and Sylvia. In university I played alto recorder in an early music ensemble that played Medieval and Renaissance music. Then many years later I started studying piano, and after much hard work, weekly lessons and diligent practice I passed the Grade 8 exam.


Q: If money was no object and you could live anywhere in the world, where would you want to be?
A: Scotland. My grandfather was from Aberdeen, and my heart's in the highlands.


Q: Do you participate in any kind of kink/spanking community IRL?
A: No, that's not our thing. We prefer to keep our spanking within the confines of our home. We aren't social people and would find it difficult participate in an organized group.


Q: Do others in your real life world know about your lifestyle?
A: Nobody knows, as far as I am aware.


Q: Do you switch? If so, Ron is a lucky guy. Not to say that he is not now.
A: I once asked Ron if he wanted me to spank him. His answer was an emphatic "No! I'm the spanker; you're the spankee." We're happy in those roles.


Q: Why don't you post more about your own spankings.
A: I try to do that as often as I can. I think it's important to have something interesting to say,  whether it's about a specific implement, something funny Ron said, or an unusual event. Otherwise it would sound rather repetitious. One spanking is pretty much the same as the next, so I don't want to bore my readers with something that sounds much like what they read the week before. Maybe I need to try to spice things up a bit so I can tell you all about it afterward.


Q: If you could do one thing about your relationship with your husband over again what would it be and why?
A: That's a tough question. Everyone makes mistakes and says or does things they later wish they could take back. But on the whole, I can't look back and see that I took a major wrong turn somewhere.


Q: What do Canadian women call their 'underpants' (knickers, panties, or bloomers)?
A: In advertising fliers and catalogures they are called panties or briefs, but I usually refer to them as underwear.

Q: When did you know Ron was the one for you?
A: It was on the first day of my new job. When we were introduced I remember thinking that I needed to be careful or I would fall for him in a big way. He was exactly my type. It took a while for anything to develop between us, but when it did it was worth waiting for.


Q: Did you have a childhood ambition and did you achieve it?
A: My first ambition was to be a cowboy, but no, I never rode the range. Later I wanted to be a meteorologist because I liked looking at clouds, but that didn't last. I was good at many subjects in school so at university I took a wide range of very different courses. I've always enjoyed writing, so I gues you could say I have achieved my ambition.


Q: Do you find certain foods that you eat, sexually erotic?
A: No, I can't say that I do. I will say that if I'm hungry, sex can wait. Feed me first!


Q: What's the most unusual food you've ever eaten?
A: I suppose what would be considered unusual depends on your point of view. Snails (ho hum), haggis (yummy), tripe (yuck), chia (crunchy).


Q: Do you find Canadians to be more like the British and fond of the cane or more like Americans and fonder of the paddle? And are there a lot of schools (private or otherwise) where the cane was used?
A: Just as they do with grammar and spelling, Canadians tend to take a little from each of those two cultures in spanking. Before corporal punishment was banned, wooden rulers and leather straps were in frequent use both in classrooms and in the principal's office. In some boys' private schools, modeled on English public schools, the teachers used canes.

Q: What makes you happy about blogging and have you made sad experiences as a blogger as well?
A: There are many things about blogging that make me happy, but the one that comes to mind first is being Chrossed. I am also happy that I have made so many good friends in the blogosphere. 

It's very sad when one of our bloggers disappears, and as we all know that happens all too frequently. I was especially sad when Spanking Writers Abel and Haron split up and later divorced. They co-authored a blog for several years, taking turns writing posts. Now Abel carries on alone, and does an admirable job too.


Q: Do you have any kinky things that you would like to try besides spanking?
A: Not really. At one time I might have said yes, but the more online exposure I have to the many other kinks out there, the more I realize that they are not for me. I love spanking, but that's all.


Thank you for all the questions. I'll admit that there were some that surprised me. I'm still taking questions, so it's not too late to ask me anything you're curious about. Leave a comment or email me.

Question and Answer Month

March is question and answer month in the blogosphere, and I have decided to join in.

Ask me whatever you like, and if the question isn't too personal or related to astrophysics (not my area of expertise, I'm afraid), I will try to answer it if I can.

Leave your question as a comment or email me.

I'm looking forward to hearing from you!