Famous Last Words

Ron likes to get the last word in whenever he can, and spankings are no different. A while ago I shared some of the lines he uses to bring a spanking to a close. Here are a few more:

"You've been purple-ized."

"My work here is done."

"Your bum is fluorescent orange."

"And now for the finale..."

"You're done like a dinner."

Ron: "That spanking was a three."
Me: "How many levels are there?"
Ron: "Fourteen."

Naughty Words

A recent article in a daily Canadian newspaper said that women like it when men "talk dirty" to them during intimate activities, and that some men try, but don't do it very well. What I found remarkable was the frequency of statements that I perceived to be refreshingly non-vanilla.

The author did a little survey of friends and found that women do like to hear naughty words, but rarely did. One woman said that once she found a man who used them "the kinky dialogue that ensued made her feel more sexually confident than ever."

"Pleasure begins in the brain and... [talking dirty] operates within the realm of fantasy, and fantasy is the match to the fire."


Part of talking dirty can involve theatrically using the language of degradation. Men raised by feminists may have a problem with this, but there shouldn't be one "if it's what a woman wants to hear." A conversation about pornography may turn to "the idea of a woman being tied up or spoken to in a humiliating fashion should not be arousing, and yet there are women who are turned on by that... It's sometimes the woman who wants to be playfully humiliated who takes the risk in asking."

I especially like the way the article ends.

"The key word in role play is play...And what if you try to play and your girlfriend tells you you're bad at it? Well, then, maybe you have the wrong playmate. Or you could ask her if she needs to be punished for that."

Double-take

I was leafing through the only book in the waiting room, a book about the origins of words and phrases. Being a dyed-in-the-wool spanko, I flipped to the chapter on S words, and scanned it quickly.

Aha! I quickly hit pay dirt; an interesting-looking entry:

Spanking. What is the reason love-making is called "spanking"?
It's because kissing can produce a tingle that's not unlike that produced by a static electric "spark".

Spark? What does that have to do with.... I reread the entry again and realized my mistake. It was "sparking", not "spanking". Honestly, I guess the light must've been dim or I was tired and my eyes were playing tricks on me. I swear I saw "spanking".

There was an entry for "whipping boy" too, but I hesitate to mention it here in case it was actually "whiffle tree". I had to drop the book when the receptionist called me in for my eye examination.

Your Six Words

Last week I asked my readers to contribute their own six word memoirs about spanking. What an eloquent group of readers you are. Your six word spanking memoirs, submitted by Tops, bottoms, and switches, get right to the heart of the matter.

Loving you, spanking you, loving me.Always the spanker, never the spankee.Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, More Please.I came, I saw, I spanked.
In Latin it's "Veni, Vidi, Spanko"Mutual respect, pain, flying, balanced minds.Spank me with love and respect!Beauty lies beyond the rosy cheeks.I saw, I spanked, you came!Over the knee, switch with me.Glowing red bottom, warm loving heart!

Thank you all for contributing.

Six Words

Two years ago, editor Larry Smith invited readers to send him a six word memoir of their lives. The response was so overwhelming that it resulted in a New York Times bestseller.

Ron and I tried it using a spanking theme and here's what we came up with.

Spank them and they will come
Spank me, hug me, repeat daily

You can probably guess who wrote which one!

I invite you to come up with a six word memoir that summarizes what spanking means in your life, how it has affected you, or simply how much you enjoy it. Funny, serious, poignant - anything goes! Leave a comment, or email me.

I'll share the results with you next week.