Naughty Words

A recent article in a daily Canadian newspaper said that women like it when men "talk dirty" to them during intimate activities, and that some men try, but don't do it very well. What I found remarkable was the frequency of statements that I perceived to be refreshingly non-vanilla.

The author did a little survey of friends and found that women do like to hear naughty words, but rarely did. One woman said that once she found a man who used them "the kinky dialogue that ensued made her feel more sexually confident than ever."

"Pleasure begins in the brain and... [talking dirty] operates within the realm of fantasy, and fantasy is the match to the fire."


Part of talking dirty can involve theatrically using the language of degradation. Men raised by feminists may have a problem with this, but there shouldn't be one "if it's what a woman wants to hear." A conversation about pornography may turn to "the idea of a woman being tied up or spoken to in a humiliating fashion should not be arousing, and yet there are women who are turned on by that... It's sometimes the woman who wants to be playfully humiliated who takes the risk in asking."

I especially like the way the article ends.

"The key word in role play is play...And what if you try to play and your girlfriend tells you you're bad at it? Well, then, maybe you have the wrong playmate. Or you could ask her if she needs to be punished for that."