Overheard at the Office

Recidavist recently wrote about aliens in our midst. Here are a few snippets of titillating conversation that I encountered at work. The third one definitely leads me to believe I am closer to other spankos than I thought.

A few of us were lamenting the outdated training videos in our library, especially the one that featured a presenter wearing bell bottom trousers and a wide leather belt.
"Wide belts are coming back in style," said a woman with a fashion-conscious teenage son.
"Yes, they're very popular," I said, suppressing a giggle and trying hard not to hyperventilate.

An office mate was telling me about her daughter, who had come home for Spring break.

"She turns on the computer every morning, goes to a website, and writes about what she is wearing, how much gas costs, and who she went out with the night before."
"It sounds like she has a blog," I explained. "I read blogs. Some of them are pretty interesting."

If she only knew!

The husband of a very pregnant co-worker arrived to accompany his wife to an appointment at the clinic. On their way out they stopped to chat with the man in the cubicle next to hers. This fellow is a good friend of both of them, and he gave the father-to-be this advice about the miracle of birth:
"What you do is turn her over, spank her, and the baby pops out".
"The young woman replied, "That's what got me in this condition."

Spanx - The Verdict

The name of this product is what appeals to us spankos, and here's why the creator chose the name she did:

"Sara Blakely recognized the value of the "k" sound. Kodak and Coca-Cola are two of the most recognized brand names in the world and in comedy. It is a trade secret that "k" words make people laugh and feel good. So Sara felt that the "k" was good luck and had to be in her product's name. SPANKS hit her one day like a lighting bolt and eventually became SPANX with an "X" because she also knew that made up names were more successful than real names. We feel the name is edgy, fun extremely catchy and for a moment it makes your mind wander (admit it). Plus, it's all about making women's butts look better, so why not?"

With a name like that, I really had to try these out for myself. I found a store nearby that sells them, bought a couple of items, and am wearing them as I write this. Two general impressions: they aren't cheap, and it's a good idea to buy a larger size than you think you'll nee<d.

Putting on the Power Panties, very similar to bike shorts minus the padding, was like trying to squeeze into a tube sock. In future I will wait at least half an hour after taking a shower before attempting this. Any stray water molecules definitely impede the process.

Once on, they're reasonably comfortable, although a bit constricting. I probably should have gone with the next size up. Or two. But I'm not impressed with the effect. The big advantage is supposed to be an alternate way to avoid those dreaded panty lines. But, as opposed to wearing a thong, which reveals two rounded bottom cheeks, the Spanx produces a single large, flat backside known as 'uni-bum'.

Esthetically speaking (and my husband, a confirmed butt-man, will back me up on this), the rear view is not at all appealing. The slacks I am wearing usually mold snugly to my posterior. With a pair of Spanx on underneath, the fabric hangs in folds. I had no idea there was so much of me in need of serious compression. But that could be a plus. I can go shopping for new pants in a smaller size.



If you try wearing Spanx during a spanking, you'd better plan on a considerable pause in the action if you decide to take them off part way through. And the spanker had better stand back! As for wearing them after, they aren't very kind to a well-spanked bottom. Trust me on that one.

I also bought a bra, and had help with choosing the size, thanks to the price sticker. It displayed a size considerably smaller than the one on the box. I used the sticker size to choose a good fit. Although I won't be posting any pictures, you can trust me when I say I'm nowhere near a double D, yet I couldn't have shoehorned my girls into anything smaller.

Just one woman's opinion.

The Benefits of Snow

We have had record amounts of snow this winter. Ron has been out shoveling nearly every day, and sometimes several times a day. It's hard and tiring work, and he's been getting a real workout.
His upper body strength has increased quite remarkably.
Especially in his strong right arm.
I hope it snows again tonight.

Should I be spanked for saying that?

The Club

One of the first comments I received on my very first post was from swan, who welcomed me to the club.
That really got me thinking. I'm pretty much a loner, and usually do my best to avoid group activities. And now here I am, a member of a club, feeling comfortable about it, and enjoying being part of the blogging world that up till now I had only peered into from outside.
The last time I really felt like part of a group was during the year after graduating from University, when I returned to get a Bachelor of Education degree. For that single year, we were all equals. There were no in-crowds, no established cliques, no seniors and juniors. We were a very mixed group of students of all ages and from all parts of the province and beyond. Our single shared interest was education, although each of us majored in a unique combination of specialties, based on individual expertise and interests. We shared our triumphs and terrors of the student teaching rounds, and got through the year by supporting one another.
Until today, that year had been the best year of my life. Now I feel that, as a blogger, I am again on a level playing field. We live all over the world, with unique lifestyles, perspectives and opinions. Our common enthusiasm for some form of spanking is what binds us loosely together.
One of the terms I learned in my first month at the college was 'isolate'. An isolate is a child who stands by himself at recess, eats lunch alone, and is always chosen last for teams. When our professor first explained that term, a chorus of murmurs rippled around the room. Many of the people in my class had been isolates. When we discussed it, we found that it was partly what had motivated us to become teachers. Almost unanimously, we wanted to prevent other children from suffering as we had.
It's pretty easy to feel like an isolate if you're interested in pursuing a spanking lifestyle and can't find someone to share it with you, or even to understand where you're coming from. It's not easy for many of us to explain or even understand why we are the way we are, and why we do that thing we do.
The other remarkable thing I remember about that year at teachers' college was the fear that had been instilled in some of those young teachers-to-be by their past teachers. In my elementary education classes, it was startling to see educated young adults afraid to play with fingerpaints, make a collage, shake a tambourine, or mime a day at the beach. It was so hard for them to let themselves go and 'colour outside the lines'.
As spankophiles of various persuasions, we are all, to a greater or lesser extent, colouring outside the lines. Our preferences aren't necessarily something we want to advertise to the world, but the blogosphere gives us a safe environment in which to talk about our lives and our preferences. It's okay to 'let go' here.
All in all, it's a pretty great club. Thanks for making me feel welcome.

Your Six Words

Last week I asked my readers to contribute their own six word memoirs about spanking. What an eloquent group of readers you are. Your six word spanking memoirs, submitted by Tops, bottoms, and switches, get right to the heart of the matter.

Loving you, spanking you, loving me.Always the spanker, never the spankee.Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, Ouch, More Please.I came, I saw, I spanked.
In Latin it's "Veni, Vidi, Spanko"Mutual respect, pain, flying, balanced minds.Spank me with love and respect!Beauty lies beyond the rosy cheeks.I saw, I spanked, you came!Over the knee, switch with me.Glowing red bottom, warm loving heart!

Thank you all for contributing.

Craft Time

This one's for Grace.

While idly standing in the kitchen one evening, watching my husband prepare dinner, (I know, I have it pretty good) I happened to look down at his belt. It was brown leather, wide and soft from years of use, and I started thinking about how it would feel across my bottom. I stared at it, lost in thought.

“What’s the matter?” Ron asked.

“I was just looking at your belt. I’d like you to use it the next time you spank me”, I replied.

“So you’ve been thinking about men’s belts?”

“Not all men’s belts, just yours”.

It wasn’t until two weeks later that I got my wish. It was the first belt experience for both of us. First, Ron tried a few strokes with a single thickness. Very nice. Then the feel changed dramatically. I looked back and saw that he had doubled it. The extra weight gave it more impact, and it felt, if you can believe it, like a caress. Yes, I definitely wanted more of this, and he gave it to me. When he stopped, the lovemaking that followed was especially satisfying.

Now, I am just as turned on by the sound of a belt sliding through loops as anyone else, but I decided that if the belt were stored along with the other implements in the bedside table, it would be used more often. And it did seem somewhat awkward to hold two thicknesses of belt, plus a large buckle, in one hand, while spanking a wiggling target.

Always thinking of my man’s comfort, I went to a large thrift store and searched for a similar belt. It was quite fun, actually, seeing all those well-worn leather belts hanging up in neat rows and imagining the many bottoms that might have felt them. I found a nice, wide one, supple and not too long.

At home, I buckled the belt on the first hole and cut off the excess leather. Then I pressed it so that the buckle lay flat. It looked just the right length. To keep it together and provide a grippable handle, I wound it with a length of vet wrap – a self-adhesive bandage used to secure dressings on animals. Too bad the only colour I had on hand was bright orange. Oh, well.

I proudly presented my handiwork to Ron that evening. His first comment was not encouraging.

“What size is it? I suppose you didn’t look”, he said.

“Yes, I did look. It’s a size 38. Why? Do you want to wear it too? I cut the end off”.

“Oh, well, I guess not, then. But it’s so bright.”

“The colour doesn’t matter." Geesh. “But you’ll try it, right?”

Ron knew when he was beaten (and when I would be). So after a suitable wait of a week or two, so it would seem like his idea, he opened the toy drawer at spanking time.

“What implement would you like today? This one?” and held up a wooden back massager with little wheels.

“Very funny. No, I don’t think so.”

“Then how about this” and he held up the orange belt.

I grinned. “Mmmmm, good choice.”

It felt just as delicious as the other belt had. As he smacked first one cheek and then the other, I found myself rolling my hips and arching up to make contact with the leather as it fell. I wanted it to go on forever. When he finally put down the new toy I was very eager for his attention in other matters.

Afterward, as we lay curled together, exhausted, Ron smiled and said, “I guess that belt needs to be added to the rotation.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Six Words

Two years ago, editor Larry Smith invited readers to send him a six word memoir of their lives. The response was so overwhelming that it resulted in a New York Times bestseller.

Ron and I tried it using a spanking theme and here's what we came up with.

Spank them and they will come
Spank me, hug me, repeat daily

You can probably guess who wrote which one!

I invite you to come up with a six word memoir that summarizes what spanking means in your life, how it has affected you, or simply how much you enjoy it. Funny, serious, poignant - anything goes! Leave a comment, or email me.

I'll share the results with you next week.