Fun at the Office

Working from home does have its drawbacks. You can't play pranks like these on your co-workers.

 

I see what you did there.

Happy hump day!

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine

Back to Work

Now that many adults have been vaccinated, people are starting to go back to work. It means getting dressed, putting on shoes, fixing your hair and packing a lunch and snacks for a day at the office. But now there's a new hazard: the office refrigerator thief. Since HR frowns upon spanking employees fro petty theft, how to deter pilferers and protect your food?

 

A chocolate ice cream bar that's really soap in disguise is time-consuming, but effective.

Scary warning signs may or may not work.

Steal at your own risk!

Passive aggressive, but wouldn't deter a determined thief.

A cat food burrito - yum!

This one's my favourite - a mustard creme doughnut.

Stay safe!

Friday FAIL

We're back in the office today, dealing with co-workers whose actions are extremely irritating to their co-workers. Spanking is out of the question, so the next best solution is to leave them a note.

Happy Friday!

Friday FAIL

Those of us who work in offices have all had to share the kitchen facilities. But how do you keep people from stealing your food?

This is one way

This is another

Forever alone

They'll never ask me to bring the doughnuts to the staff meeting again

Wait. What?

It seems as good a plan as any

Before you leave for the weekend, please take a moment to Complete the Caption.

Get Back to Work!

It's back to work today, after a long weekend break. But it's not so bad. Working in technology does have its benefits!

The Empty Office

Someone has moved into the empty office at the end of the hall on the floor above the one I am located on.

I hope I am never summoned upstairs.

Office Discipline

We saw this startle on a program about the world's funniest commercials.



New management concept? I think it has merit. Every office needs a dominatrix.

Blogging at Work

Why it's not such a good idea.

Overheard Here and There

Overheard at the office:
 
"What about maintenance?" Huh? Was the gal in the next office talking to her husband about an upcoming spanking?

No, the telephone conversation I overheard was about software for computers. Besides the initial purchase price, there is usually a yearly maintenance fee that includes upgrades, bug fixes and vendor support.

---

Overheard everywhere:
 
Guy #1: "So my kid walked in on us last night..."
Guy #2: "Well, you gave them the talk, why not say you were wrestling or something?"
Guy #1: "Well, I have no way to explain the handcuffs."
Worker explaining new fax machine: "Stand there and just stick it in. Bottom up."

---

Overheard at home:
 
After one energetic application of the dogging bat -- a very noisy implement -- to my bottom.
Hermione: "One of those swats made my ears ring."
Ron: "What? Did you say I made your rear sing?"

Just when I think that spanking is the farthest thing from my husband's mind, he surprises me. We were watching a British house-hunting program on TV, and heard a few terms not commonly used in Canada.

As the clients and agents closed the deal, I said that to celebrate they should all "retire to the reception room and raise a glass."

Without missing a beat, Ron replied, "Then retire to the bedroom and spank an ass."

Quite possibly.

Post-it

The office would be a pretty lively place if I started using these sticky notes that I found in a store at the local mall.

Maybe I could use them as hints for a spanking, and stick one on the mirror before Ron shaves in the morning.

Any other suggestions?

Secretary: the Sequel

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you."

Thank you to Office Humour.

Overheard at the Office

Last week I was called into my boss's office. I'll refer to that person as FoA (Figure of Authority).

As I walked in, the first thing I noticed was a large framed motivational poster hanging on the wall above FoA's desk. It said: DISCIPLINE. It's in you to give. Well, maybe it didn't say exactly that, but that's how I remember it.

FoA wanted to discuss a problem to do with a project I was working on. Certain members of the team were not cooperating.

"I'll speak to their manager and then we'll have to get out the stick," declared FoA. Yikes! Was FoA a spanko? We? Was the other manager one too? Or would I be given a stick to use? My mind reeled.

I managed to stammer, "Um, oh, right, the carrot and the stick."

"No, forget the carrot.We'll go with just the stick."
That was spanko speak alright. But not exactly an example of good management technique.

Overheard at the Office

Recidavist recently wrote about aliens in our midst. Here are a few snippets of titillating conversation that I encountered at work. The third one definitely leads me to believe I am closer to other spankos than I thought.

A few of us were lamenting the outdated training videos in our library, especially the one that featured a presenter wearing bell bottom trousers and a wide leather belt.
"Wide belts are coming back in style," said a woman with a fashion-conscious teenage son.
"Yes, they're very popular," I said, suppressing a giggle and trying hard not to hyperventilate.

An office mate was telling me about her daughter, who had come home for Spring break.

"She turns on the computer every morning, goes to a website, and writes about what she is wearing, how much gas costs, and who she went out with the night before."
"It sounds like she has a blog," I explained. "I read blogs. Some of them are pretty interesting."

If she only knew!

The husband of a very pregnant co-worker arrived to accompany his wife to an appointment at the clinic. On their way out they stopped to chat with the man in the cubicle next to hers. This fellow is a good friend of both of them, and he gave the father-to-be this advice about the miracle of birth:
"What you do is turn her over, spank her, and the baby pops out".
"The young woman replied, "That's what got me in this condition."