Thursday, May 7, 2009

Me and Whatsisname

Having two identities can be troublesome at times. I have to maintain two separate ones: one for blogging and another for everyday life. That means two email accounts with two logons and passwords and two completely different sets of contacts. To help me stay sane, I have an automatic signature line for each one with the appropriate closing and name inserted automagically. That way I don't have to stop and ask myself "who am I?" before I click SEND, or accidentally send Aunt Beth an email signed "Hugs, Hermione".

And then there's the man known to you as Ron. I use that name when I blog about him, and it's become pretty automatic. The problem occurs in my vanilla world when I want to write about my husband or tell someone something about him. I always have to stop and think "what do I call him?" before typing or speaking. What if I accidentally told a colleague at lunch that "Ron said ..."? How would I get out of that one without it seeming that I was having an affair? I could possibly say that Ron was my ex-husband's name, or the name of a relative here for a visit. For that reason, I rarely discuss my home life, which is probably safer anyway.

Before I told my husband about my blog and our second identities, I lived in fear of calling him by his blogosphere name by accident. He would surely think I was being unfaithful, because he knows perfectly well what my first husband's name was, and whether or not any relatives are lurking in the spare room.

Luckily for us, we are not "name" people. Weeks can go by without either of us calling the other by name. When we have conversations with the animals, we refer to each other as Mum and Dad, because those are the names they know us by. So I was reasonably safe, except if I happened to talk in my sleep. One of the huge benefits of revealing my blog to him is that now he will understand perfectly if I ever inadvertently call him Ron. I usually stick with Sir, which delights us both.

By the way, I have proofread this post extremely carefully, just in case.

From Hermione's Heart


PK said...

Boy do I understand THIS problem!! I have my real name, I started as Elis then became PK. We won't even go into my other site. Then there are my other friends out here. I know their whole famlies - screen names and real names. Mollie (not her real name) hears me using both names for my friends and throws up her hands in disgust. Mollie knows I blog, just not what's its about. But YES these mutiple names really keeps us on our toes!!


M:e said...

This made me smile. I'm sure most of us are in this situation. The name I chose for myself when I started my explorations into submission has a very tenuous link to my real name. Because its the name M and all of our friends within the D/s community calls me, I can sometimes find myself having to stop myself from introducing myself as that in a work setting.
You can just imagine it can't you...."I'm ...., oh, wait a minute, no I'm not, at least not right now. I'm ...." !!

Thanks for making me smile....hope you and 'Ron' are well.

love and hugs xxx

Meow said...

Thanks for posting about this. I'm just beginning this life and blogging and live in fear of signing myself as "Meow" to my mom (lol). I suppose I could laugh it off as a joke between myself and my hubby, but it really underscores the fact that we can be open to some people and not to others. What a tangled web.....! I wish this world could be more accepting but until then, I double check the signature when I email family and friends.

Rebekah said...

I definitely understand. It's funny (and sad) how careful you have to be. I've been off-and-on in this "blog world" for years, and only my very closest of close friends know both me and blog me.

What a great alter-ego you have, though. :D

Hermione said...

PK - Mollie must know something us up, but let's hope she doesn't find out exactly what!

M;e - I do exactly the same thing at work. I wonder what it would feel like if someone I met actually knew me as Hermione and called me that.

Meow - You really can't be too careful.

A'marie - Thank you. We're alike in many ways, so that's probably why I chose her(mione).

Me (I think)

Anonymous said...

I can sure relate to this post! I run two blogs -- one about this stuff, and one professional. I have to always double check to see how I'm logged in before I leave a comment. It's a hassle, but not that difficult.

I think probably most people here can relate very strongly to what you've written! :-)

Julie said...

Now I feel bold for using a nick that is really close to my real name, and sometimes even mentioning my name on my blog as well. Photo is also myself.. then again, I have a very, very common surname - people googling my name would hardly find any traces of my kinkiness. So I guess I'm lucky. :-)

ronnie said...

He Hermione, loved the post and know exactly what you mean. I have 2 emails addresses, one for work and one for blogging.
Not too bad for me though as my blogging name is sometimes used by my family and vanilla friends as well but not work.

Have a good weekend.


Hermione said...

G - Double-checking is vital, and I agree, you do get into the habit of it.

Miss Jules - I guess everyone handles their level of anonymity differently.

Ronnie - Thanks. So it sounds like you're a crossover! At least your work identity stays separate.


grace said...

When I set up my blog and started thinking up names, I found it easier to use names that weren't "real" names. I mean, nick names that nobody would use as a real name...hence I have Bossman, the wildchild and the little man.

Makes it a little easier to keep them completely separate from my "real" life.

Now, when I met up with the LA took a little time to remember what names were who!


Hermione said...

Grace - That was very wise of you. Although I'm sure hubby wouldn't mind if you did call him Bossman!


Lil Sam said...

Hi Hermione
boy can I ever relate to that problem. I have come close to making a mistake acouple of times,
Love your posts as always
Hugs Lil Sam

arwen said...

This is so true for me too! In fact, not only do I have to keep track of my online ID's but even in real life, I have my professional/legal name and the "nickname" my friends call me, so it gets all the more confusing.
Great post!

Hermione said...

Lil Sam - Thanks for stopping by.

Arwen - So you lead a triple life!

dwcmike said...

Hermione: I guess I will just have to wonder the hills shouting Hermione, to see if you turn around... At work, the conversations are usually not about spanking, so you should have little to worry. I think we should accidentally pop in a different when signing, just to throw people further off the track..
..... ummmm Frank

Hermione said...

Frank - You do have a point. I wonder if I would turn around if I heard someone calling Hermione. I might blush and look guilty!