Wednesday WIN

Huffingston Post recently presented a feature on products with kinky names. Here are a few of my favourites.

For more, visit Izismile.

A dog by any other name

I was at the veterinarian's office recently, and overheard this conversation.

A woman was speaking to the receptionist, and from what I heard, she was a new client, and the conversation was about transferring her records from her former clinic. The receptionist asked, "May I call and ask them to fax Spanky's file?"

Spanky? What kind of animal was Spanky, I wondered, since she didn't have an animal with her. But more to the point, who would choose to name their cat, dog, ferret or budgie Spanky? Would a spankophile do such a thing with that emotionally-charged word? Or is it only vanillas who would bestow "that word" upon their best friend.

Me and Whatsisname

Having two identities can be troublesome at times. I have to maintain two separate ones: one for blogging and another for everyday life. That means two email accounts with two logons and passwords and two completely different sets of contacts. To help me stay sane, I have an automatic signature line for each one with the appropriate closing and name inserted automagically. That way I don't have to stop and ask myself "who am I?" before I click SEND, or accidentally send Aunt Beth an email signed "Hugs, Hermione".

And then there's the man known to you as Ron. I use that name when I blog about him, and it's become pretty automatic. The problem occurs in my vanilla world when I want to write about my husband or tell someone something about him. I always have to stop and think "what do I call him?" before typing or speaking. What if I accidentally told a colleague at lunch that "Ron said ..."? How would I get out of that one without it seeming that I was having an affair? I could possibly say that Ron was my ex-husband's name, or the name of a relative here for a visit. For that reason, I rarely discuss my home life, which is probably safer anyway.

Before I told my husband about my blog and our second identities, I lived in fear of calling him by his blogosphere name by accident. He would surely think I was being unfaithful, because he knows perfectly well what my first husband's name was, and whether or not any relatives are lurking in the spare room.

Luckily for us, we are not "name" people. Weeks can go by without either of us calling the other by name. When we have conversations with the animals, we refer to each other as Mum and Dad, because those are the names they know us by. So I was reasonably safe, except if I happened to talk in my sleep. One of the huge benefits of revealing my blog to him is that now he will understand perfectly if I ever inadvertently call him Ron. I usually stick with Sir, which delights us both.

By the way, I have proofread this post extremely carefully, just in case.

A Spanko by Any Other Name

Have you ever noticed how many surnames have a spanko quality to them? Here are a few I found while browsing through the telephone directory. (I know what you're going to say - "Get a life!")

Aasen

Allmark

Asman

Assen

Beaton

Botham

Burn

Hand

Hyde

Redd

Redish

Rodd

Rose

Sitt

Topping

Vanderspank

Welt

Can you add any to the list?

A Group of Us

What do you call a group of people who do that thing we do? How about:

A scold of spankers

A paddling of spankees

A smack of spankos

What would you call a collection of spankos, spankees, disciplinarians, tops, bottoms, doms, subs, mistresses, or any of the other names we go by?

You can find some helpful suggestions here, or try it on your own, without peeking. Be creative! Leave me a comment, and I'll post the results.

The winner gets to sample the brand new leather paddle I bought a few weeks ago. It's ouchy, but that's all I'll say about it for now.