Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for July 12

This week we discussed submission, and your thoughts were varied and intriguing:

Baxter: Certainly thought provoking. I am the spanko in the family and typically I am asking to be spanked. Now sometimes my wife will say that I am going to be spanked. I don't see it as submission or handing over control. I see it as an aspect of our marriage that works and I appreciate that my wife goes along with it, as she says, whatever you want, I will do for you.


A. Lurker: We play around with spanking to liven things up a bit. The thought of submission is hot but I can't see myself as a submissive.

What has worked for us for almost 30 years of marriage is more of a 50/50 when major decisions have to be made. We discuss, explain and argue but when push comes to shove we each have our areas of expertise and usually defer to the one who is more invested or has more expertise in that area. We also mutually respect each other's expertise and finding the best solution is more important than who defers to whom.

But in the bedroom . . .


Downunder Don: My darling wife is an absolute control freak; I am even convinced that she tells the sun when to rise. So the thought that she "surrenders" to a spanking or asks permission is hugely laughable...she gets it when she wants it, not a moment sooner nor later.

Erika's post totally resonated with both of us. Her immediate comment was "I will tell you when I am ready for a spanking". As she is still recovering from a hip replacement spanking life has been put temporarily on hold...but she has started to say "soon baby, soon"

abby: Submission is a part of our dynamic. I do not decide when, what position or what will be used. Occasionally i do get to suggest...and sometimes He humors me...

Leigh: I don't use the word submission and as such it's not part of our dynamic but I wanted to wish Six of the Best a Happy Birthday and tell him he can have my portion of the chopped liver.

Simon: Submission is an important part of my relationship with my Mistress. During a session of punishment she is apparently in control, deciding what implement to use, the number of strokes and positions etc. However it is just an illusion as we both know that at any point I could just say " no I don't want to do that" or "sorry my heart's not in it can we stop please?" It doesn't happen often but it can sometimes. Therefore it is basically just an aspect of role playing. Roles which we both enjoy playing but are exactly that, roles.

arched one: Submission can take many forms. Any person accepting spanking is submitting however submitting with consent. Without consent it's abuse. With that in mind yes I'm submissive to R. She will punish when she feels it called for. At present I receive 2 maintenance spankings a week on what ever day she calls for. In other matters we are 50/50. So why do I get punished? She might tell me to take care of a chore and I forget or just don't do it. If I'm rude to her or don't treat her properly. I also lose my temper over silly things and she won't stand for that. There are other reasons also that I won't go into now.

A.J. I do not want a submissive woman in my life. Just think of the work it would take. And how boring it would be.

Give me an independent, self-assured woman who likes to 'play' anytime.

Ronnie: Don't use the word submission though as Archedone says, accepting a spanking is submitting.

Happy birthday SOTB.

Sub hub: I think asking for permission is one of the basic anchor points of a D/s relationship. Yes!

ricky: Happy birthday, Six, and enjoy Hermione's treat--I love Ritz crackers too!
I think being submissive is the same as being consensual, for both partners, especially the Dominant; otherwise, where is the play?

Jenn: Oh, absoulutely. Submission is what it's all about. Giving up control is what makes it so wonderful and - ultimately - relaxing.

Hermione: I am definitely a submissive, and Ron is a natural dominant, so we complement each other. I usually ask his permission to do things like going shopping or making major changes around the house. He does not usually say no, but prefers that I ask rather than just go ahead on my own. As for asking permission to have an orgasm, or purposely being denied one, that idea has never occurred to either of us. An orgasm is a personal thing, and the more the merrier, I say!