From the Top Shelf - Your Sins Will Find You Out

Today we celebrate my blog's 10th birthday, as well as my nnth birthday. (Nope, not telling you how old I am!) In honor of the occasion, I have a very special treat for you. It's one of the late Alex Birch's own stories. He wrote a great many of them for his blog, A Taste of the Birch, and they were all done in a special way. He would take a series of pictures from Janus, Februs, or other spanking magazine, then write dialogue to go along with them. I was able to save much of his blog before it was deleted, but most of the pictures were not available, so I'm afraid you will have to use your imagination. That won't be hard to do because Alex had quite a way with words.

Your Sins Will Find You Out

(I don't think I can do this! Why does Martin's ex-wife want to see me? Jesus, she scares the pants off me! No wonder they split up! But I have to do it. What did she mean on the phone by 'You better get your miserable arse round here or else you can forget the wedding!' What has she heard? Oh Christ! Take a deep breath, Tracy...there ..done it! Oh God now what?)

"H-H-hello, Camilla, it-it's so n -"

"You can forget the false bonhomie, you miserable little bitch...or do I have to translate that for you? I'm sure you know why you're here?"

"No-I-I- have no -"

"Well think back two weeks to your office party. You know - the one Martin couldn't attend because he was working away? Remember the Sales Manager, Cliff Jordan? I'm sure you do, Tracy!"

(Oh Christ, I'm going to wet myself. How the hell does she know about THAT?")

"I -I don't know what you're talking ab-"

"Don't lie to me, you little cow! It's written all over your face . You're as guilty as hell. I knew as soon as Martin introduced you to me that your brains were in your pussy. Can't keep your knickers on or your legs closed!"

"You've got no right to -"

"Oh I've got EVERY right! We might be divorced but I still love that bloody fool in a sort of way - and I don't want him destroyed by some little airhead who drops her knickers as soon as a man looks at her!"

"I-I didn't- I-I (stammers helplessly) - you've got no proof of anything!"

"Oh but I have, you stupid little tart! What do you call this, eh? (Triumphantly flourishes a letter)

(Oh God I AM going to wet myself)

"It makes very enlightening reading, Tracy. Let me read you a section. 'Oh Tracy, I can't wait until the next time we can spend time together. The feel of your body, the touch of your warm nipples. And they are so sensitive, my darling, I...."

"STOP IT...STOP IT! " (sobbing) "Where the hell did you get that?"

(Grinning) "Remember the office cleaner in the blue overalls who came in to 'tidy up' your office last week, Tracy? Well he was a private detective paid for by me. It didn't take him long to pick the lock on your desk. You really shouldn't keep such juicy stuff lying around, my girl!"

(Weeping in self pity) "Oh God, please Camilla don't tell Martin. It was just a one off. I'd had a bit to drink and I was missing Martin and I was lonely and -"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yadda, yadda, yadda - there's no excuse for cheating on a good man and you know it, you little cow - but I'll be kind to you."

"See screwed up and ready to be thrown away instead of being sent to Martin. Now aren't I the generous one?"

(Stunned) "Oh thank you, Camilla, thank you..you won't regret...."

"Oh you BET I won't! Because in exchange for my generosity, you are going to accept my punishment. For some stupid reason, because he's weak and can't see past the obvious, Martin is deeply in love with you. Damned if I can see why! But I'm not going to ruin his delusions. So therefore I'm going to take you in hand myself, Tracy. You know rather like Professor Higgins and Eliza..except my form of training will be a little more physical!"

"Accept your...oh my God! What do you mean?"

"All in good time. Now let's have a good look at you...and I don't want any objections! Stand up straight!"

(Tracy obeys without question, shaking like a leaf)

"Let's have a good look at what you're wearing! Oh very sexy stockings! But what the hell are those knickers made of? God you are so CHEAP!"

( Damn her, she's humiliating me. I'm embarrassed and frightened to death. But it's a bit exciting too. I've never felt like this with another woman. I can't refuse her.)

"Have you seen one of these before, Tracy? I'm sure you know what it is, don't you!"

(Oh my God, I'm close to peeing now)

"You -you can't use that on me, please?" (I am almost begging. I feel pathetic)

"Oh but I can, Tracy..and I will. You see that's the trouble these days. You little chits at Comprehensive school...I'm assuming that WAS the height of your academic success, Tracy...have never seen a cane..or experienced physical discipline. And that's why you think you can behave how you like. No standards you see."

"PLEASE, Camilla...."

"Shut up and listen! At my private school, run by nuns I might add, if a girl was found in flagrante delicto , so to speak, she was soon taking her pants down again in far less pleasant circumstances. Just as you are going to be doing soon, Tracy. It could be the making of you!"

"Oh no, you can't make me -"

"Indeed, I can't. But if you want your dream wedding to take place, you'll do exactly as you're told. Now get your skirt up and lean over the desk!"

"Mmmm, glad to see you can take orders. That's a shapely little bottom, you've got there. Martin always was a bottom man. Now stick it out - you're getting half a dozen to start, over those terry towelling knickers or whatever they are!"

(Oh God, my heart is thumping but I feel sort of funny..and it's not altogether unpleasant!)

"Please don't hurt me!"

(Snorts) "Don't be ridiculous, girl. Of course I'm going to hurt you - but not half as much as your infidelity would hurt Martin!"

"Are you ready, girl. Ready for the first cane stroke of your dim, air-headed young life? Perhaps your arse will register what your brain seemingly can not. The way a bride-to-be should behave!"

"Oh please Camilla, this is torture. Please just get on with it!"

Scwiiiit, Crack!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, oh shit, oh Christ...oooooo that really hurts!! "

"Of course it does you little tart, and there's plenty more where THAT came from! And you better watch that language or I'll add a few more!"

"Aaaaaah..oh Camilla, pleeeeeeaaaasee..that really hurts!" (sobbing)

"Hurts? That little sting? You don't know what 'hurts' is, my girl! But you will!"

"Oh nooooooo..please..how many more?"

"As many as I like if you don't want Martin to know the truth ..and these are just the warm up!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh...God..no please..that one was so hard!"

"And there will be more to come, believe me. But I think it's time to have a look at the goods!"

"W-what do you mean?"

"I mean you can take that skirt off for a start - Now!"

"Camilla, please, I beg -"

"NOOOOWWW!!!!!!"

(Oh God, I'm getting wet. I think I'm marrying the wrong one. Martin has never controlled me like this - and I'm getting so turned on)

"Come on, you little tramp, I haven't got all day!"

"Y-yes , Camilla, I-I'm sorry."

"That's more like it. Now get back over that sofa!"

"Right, let's have these silly knickers down, shall we? Let's see what my ex-husband is getting for his money!"

"Oh Camilla, pleeeeeaaase..this is humiliating!"

"Shut up and don't be so stupid. Humiliating? Having your pants taken down by another woman? The number of men I expect you've shown this off to, I'm surprised you have any shame left!"

"Oh please, I-"

"SHUT UP! Ah now you might be a little trollop but you've got a gorgeous arse. Its just made for the whippy stick. Ah the sound of rattan on bare little trollop flesh is sheer poetry."

"Oh Camilla...noooooooooo!"

"Stick it out , thats it and ......there!"

Scwiiiiiiiiit! Crack!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah..oh..oh..oh...that really hurts !" (weeping copiously)

"And if you keep shooting upright, I'll double the strokes. Now get back in position!"

"Yes, Camilla, I'm sorry!"

"That's better. Oh you look so lovely in that position! Bare and submissive - just the way I like little tramps. And you are wet too, you little tart!"

(Oh she can see. And she is so right. I am getting off on this )

"Stick it right out, girl. Here comes another!""

"Right, let's have a good look at this cute little arse, shall we? Mmmmm..nicely marked. I think that's probably enough of the cane. Don't want you thinking I'm a cruel bitch now, do I!" (laughs wickedly)

"Oh..thank you Camilla..I-I'll never -"

"Oh don't think I've finished with you yet, you little slut. Stand up and take the rest of your clothes off."

"Oh Camilla, pleeeeeeeeeaaasse, I -"

(Flexes the cane) "Do you want more of this, you little tart?"

"Nooooooooooooooooo-" (hurries to obey)

"You've got a nice trim figure I'll give you that! Just the kind of firm little tits Martin likes. Do you know how you look with your knickers round your ankles? Just like a little schoolgirl being punished by mommy!"

(And that's just how I feel. Damn it, I've never felt so humiliated...or turned on!)

"Please, Camilla, what -"

"Don't speak until you're spoken to! Now get across my knee - and any protests and you'll be feeling the cane again!"

(Meekly) "Yes Camilla."

"Well this certainly has its compensations, Tracy. I've always been bi-sexual - I expect you guessed - and I have rarely had the pleasure of such a juicy arse as this across my knee. There, you little madam, take THAT!" - SMAAAAACK!

"Aaaaaaaaaaahh...oooo, Camilla, my bottom is burning from the cane. That really hurts!"

"Of course it does...and its embarrassing too, isn't it, Tracy? Lying across my knee like a silly, naked little girl - which is exactly what you are!"


(Damn her - she's right. It's shameful and humiliating but why is it turning me on so much? I'm so wet down there. Maybe I've needed this for years.)

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww, please, no more, that really hurts!"

"Shut up and take what you're given. You're getting away lightly!"

"Yes Camilla"

SMACK..SMACK...SMACK!

"Aaaaahh..oooooo..please stop, Camilla..I can't take any more! I'm on fire!"

"Of course you are, you silly girl. It wouldn't have any effect otherwise, now would it?"

"No, I suppose n -" SMACK...SMACK... SMACK! "- ahhhhhh...oh please no more!"

(Tracy is sobbing quietly now)

"Right let's run my hand over this pretty little bottom and rub it better, shall I?"

"Please Camilla do anything you want to me but don't smack me again, I beg you."

(She's getting off on this too, but I don't care. Oh her hands are so strong and gentle. It's like a man was.....oooooooo)

"Like that, don't you, you little tart? Tell me you're a little tart!"

"Oh Camilla I'm a little tart..a slut...anything..but please don't stop what you're doing."

(Contemptuous) "I knew you couldn't get enough..from anybody (pushes Tracy away and gets up)

"Oh Camilla what are you doing now?"


"I'm writing a letter to Cliff Jordan..and you are going to sign it!"

"Oh please Camilla I'll talk to him and end it. Please don't make me do this!"

"Oh no you won't! If you are going to marry my dumb and foolish ex - AND he is going to remain in blissful ignorance of what a little tart he is marrying - then I'm going to make it clear SOMEBODY knows about you two"

"Oh no Camilla please!"

"And if I get any more complaints, Martin and Jordan's wife will get a copy of a little DVD we've been recording together. See that camera high in the wall?"

"Oh God nooooooooooooooo!"

"Oh God yes. But all is not lost Tracy. When you need the kind of discipline Martin will never give you - you know where I live , don't you!"

(Breathes deeply, trying to hide excitement) "Yes Camilla"

THE END

There! We didn't need pictures after all!