Monday, March 12, 2018

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for March 11

We discussed the current state of Domestic Discipline, and here's what you said.

Dan: Hi Hermione. As you know, I've been running a Domestic Discipline related blog for four or five years. Mine is pretty narrowly focused on Domestic Discipline, as opposed to a broader spanking theme, and it's also focused on F/m relationships. So, it's focus is on spanking as adult discipline and on relationships where it is the men who spanked. Hence, it's kind of a niche within a niche. I can't really say whether overall interest in DD has gone down, but I don't have any reason to think it is going up. The stats for my blog visitors have stayed fairly steady, but I think it is hard to extrapolate anything from blog traffic, because I think any blog that focuses on one particular topic probably gets a little tired after a while.

I do think that blogging in general could be cooling off, but probably due to over-exposure. The same thing seems to be happening with Facebook and other on-line communication platforms. And, maybe that's a good thing. It probably wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if people focused a little more on real relationships and personal experiences.

Amy: When Eric and I first started exploring this lifestyle, we looked at various D/D relationships. We followed Clint and Chelsea a lot but then decided to go a more personalized ttwd route. As for C and C, I believe they quit blogging so much because their relationship became a full blown business - with a website, classes, books, retreats, etc.

KDPierre: Wow, boy did you hit on a subject whose tremors rumble close to home. Blogging is a subset of general discourse. Intelligent discourse is......well, you tell me: when is the last time you enjoyed that rare treat?

Every day I feel like fewer and fewer people have any interest in pursuing anything beyond the most mundane. Ugh. I could go on for hours on this. Pose a question like: 'do you think a Top should take you over their lap for something that has not been expressly forbidden in one's rules?' and get answers like: 'oh, I have a bad back, so we don't do OTK.'

And DD? LOL. What do you have there? The people who practice DD are a mere microcosm of the population in general.....and not merely mere, but very selectively and exceedingly mere. Whenever I have an opportunity to discuss real DD with real DD people, I have found so much common ground, despite the differences in what our backgrounds and beliefs are, and you would think that would mean something. But to some it does.....and to others it apparently doesn't. I treasure those few loyal readers who regularly or semi-regularly contribute opinions and experiences.......because they are rare commodities. And they are becoming rarer.

And when you find those rare people who seem articulate enough to share significant DD information, you still find that only a very small number are willing to make the effort to maintain interaction beyond a certain point. Most just want a quick fix, or a temporary one. Few are willing to make the effort to sustain discourse beyond the most banal and trivial. So the best thing at this point is to do one's best to cultivate those who make the attempt to interact intelligently and thoughtfully. And even then, people seem to just suddenly fall off the face of the internet with no explanation.

The other thing is that if you stay "on topic" to Dan's point, eventually you just run out of new things to discuss. And if you dare to digress to other topics, you risk alienating certain readers whose views don't coincide with one's own.

Another problem is the sheer number of 'wannabes' out there reading these blogs. How do you expect to get interaction from someone who doesn't live the lifestyle but only wishes they could? Not that I'm not sympathetic.....but what can a person with no knowledge of living a DD lifestyle contribute to the conversation?

But if I was to cite a particular thing that I think could remedy at least part of the problem, it would have to be reciprocity. You ave to give to get, and how many bloggers do that? There's an old expression: "to have a friend you have to be a friend". How many bloggers put forth the effort to interact with the people who interact with them? I think we could start there and see where such an effort would lead. Think of it: if every blogger committed to regularly interacting with those regularly interact with them, if each contributor to a blog could expect contributions to their much total discourse would that generate?

This is a timely topic. I wonder what other viewpoints will surface?

Roz: This is a great question, the number of DD related blogs has definitely diminished, but at the same time there are new bloggers starting. I don't know, I think with the hectic pace of life nowadays I think it's probably blogging rather than the number of DD relationships decreasing.

Many who practice DD do seem to delve into other areas of ttwd. Our dynamic began as play then evolved to DD and then other aspects of ttwd were introduced. However, we haven't practiced ttwd for some time now.

Liza: I am so glad to see this post. All my favorite DD bloggers are now gone. It seems the average life of a DD blog is about four years. I think they just ran out of things to say about DD. I would still like to read the blogs that have gone private but you have to have an invitation. Do you or anyone else know how to get an invitation?

Liza, in order to be invited to read a private blog, you must be invited by the blog owner. If you have no other way to contact that person, like Google+ or Facebook, I am afraid you are out of luck.

ricky:  Another repast, eh? Well, OK.
What was that you said?

Hermione: We are not part of the domestic discipline community, but at one time I followed several DD blogs and found them fascinating. Yet one by one, something happened in the relationships of these bloggers, and DD was put on the back burner or discontinued altogether. So, according to my limited third-hand experience, I would guess that in many cases, it is not sustainable in the long term. it would be especially difficult if both parties were not equally committed to DD.

Enzo: I believe KD Pierre makes some very interesting points in particular.

To add to his and everyone else's comments -
I believe a lot of interest has gone from Blogger to Tumblr for its ease of use comparatively. Tumblr, as opposed to Blogger, lets you post pictures easily and have them speak for you vs having to write well thought out sentences. ;)

The other thing with DD is that at its core it is based on a relationship. Relationships change over time and things come and go into the relationship that influences those relationships dynamics; i.e. offspring, health, breakups, life in general, etc. which will cause DD to possibly cease let alone blogging.

Thank you all for participating in this lively exchange of views.
From Hermione's Heart


willie said...

I know many former bloggers who still partake in Dd. It is sustainable but like anything takes work. The reason why many of those women (primarily) stopped blogging was because their need for blogging ended. Many (like myself) blogged to process and gain support. I didn't want my blog to be "here is another spanking story from my life" ( please don't misunderstand, there is no judgment in that- it just isn't what I wanted). In addition to that these particular women found a really close group of friends who they share any new issues with directly.

I guess what I am saying, aside from the Dd relationships that get derailed some bloggers stop because Dd just becomes part of life. Not saying it is boring, just nothing much to write about. lol

Dan - A Disciplined Hubby said...

I agree with Wilma. I've seen a lot of DD blogs come and go, but when the owner announced he or she was shutting it down, rarely if ever was it because the DD relationship itself ended. They just decided they didn't want to blog about it anymore. I think most blogs have a shelf life, and the narrower the blog's focus the shorter that shelf-life is likely to be. Or, the blogger just burns out. As you know, Bonnie put 8 years into the Spanko Brunch and then decided it was time to hand it off.

I do think some couples stop the DD component of their marriage or it becomes much more sporadic, but I suspect that is just part of normal aging. Most people's interest in kinkier activities recedes with time, right? There also are various physical infirmities that go along with aging. I can personally attest that my wife and I have more periods of non-activity because one or the other of us has some nagging injury thane we did 10 years ago. It takes a lot more strength and resilience to both give and take a disciplinary spanking than purely erotic swats with a light tool. One of the earliest DD websites was the Disciplinary Wives Club, and while it isn't updated more, both Aunt Kay and her husband do comment from time to time on mine, and he has his own. But, he has said their DD focus did dip for some time, and it comes and goes.

And, theoretically, after being spanked for discipline for several years, surely the hardest of hard-headed men become better behaved and, thus, earn fewer disciplinary spankings. Well . . . I doubt that one.