Hello and welcome! Come on in, take a seat, and let's have some virtual fun. Today's topic was suggested from my very good friend Red at Consensual Spanking.
When did you express your fondness for spanking to your partner (or to someone else)? What was that person's reaction? What was the outcome of your confession?
Please leave your response as a comment. I will publish an edited summary of our conversation after everyone has spoken.
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14 comments:
It had been quite many years, before we actually talked about spanking. Cindy was aware I purchased spanking magazines, and they at that time were exclusively (99%) the woman being spanked, wither by a man or another woman. I also purchased Penthouse letters, then Variations, exclusively to read the spanking fiction, as you knew it was not real. I also purchased Janus, and Februs, and Scarlett Hill, reading the man being spanked editions. I would hide them away so the children would not see them. Eventually, maybe 20 years ago, I suggested as foreplay that I spank Cindy, but that was not going to happen. As the internet became available, I moved into reading of the man being spanked, and found it equally stimulating. The Disciplinarywivesclub website gave me the courage to ask to be spanked, and slowly my being spanked started. I had Cindy read their website, and Aunt Kay's manuals, and slowly Cindy came to be agreeable to spank me.
bottoms up
Red
I first brought the subject up during the first year of our marriage in asking for my wife to spank me and she said no, that it was perverted. I was disappointed but my fantasies of spanking as spanker and spankee continued and I bought a bunch of spanking fiction books from Amazon. At one point, my wife asked to read one of them and I gave her a book by Fiona Locke. In reading it, she said she understood and told me to pull my pants down, hand her my leather belt and she gave me a spanking. Wow. so we were off to what was a slow start, but she has always spanked me when I asked. And it is in fun and she spanks me only in prime numbers, like 17 or 23 or 37, spanks. I wished that we could have done it earlier in our marriage and she said that also recently. Better late than never.
Fairly early on in our relationship we were having a bit of a date night (favourite takeaways, a few drinks etc) and the subject just came up in conversation and we both expressed an interest in spanking. I can't for the life of me remember how the subject came up now.
Hugs
Roz
Our first time occurred when Randy and I were college students. We had been dating for a couple months. We were playing in bed on a warm summer Saturday afternoon. A spontaneous experiment led to a simultaneous recognition - Spanking works for both of us!
I’ve always, always secretly loved anything spanking. Old romance books had many a short scene or two... hubby threatened and did spank from the moment we began dating. It was haphazardly practiced. However, when I found everyone here and really excepted it all—- I told hubby. He was happy to practice....
It has been so long now that I do not really remember how it started. Just thankful the Misses enjoys being spanked and enjoys (maybe more) spanking me.
My enjoyment of spanking I think is very much specific only to BIKSS> and he was a bit confused at first but he went online and read everything I sent him, and then some.
We started with some hand spanking and that went well. I gave a LOT of feedback and he asked a LOT of questions. And from there it was easy enough to move on to experimenting with different things, as we both do a lot of reading and talking about anything new before trying it.
I *did* have to work a little bit at convincing him to try the cane tho. LOL. (He had had a bad experience with it as a child, but in exploring it together it has given him the chance to see it in a different light, I'm guessing.)
I have always been interested in spanking, as long as I can remember.
My husband and I had been together for little over a year when I finally found the courage to tell him. He had a hard time with it, went through the 'but I love you, I don't want to hurt you' phase. I don't quite remember how this changed, but he got over that.
Things worked out quite well, together for 27 years now and he has no problem hurting me anymore at all, he actually enjoys spanking me :)
I dated older women, found them to be more open. One particular woman in her late 50's I was seeing, met while living in apartments was alot of fun, but could be serious at times. Being older she knew i would do stupid things, part of being young she would say. We had been seeing one another a good six months and out of the blue she said there were times she wanted to give me a spanking. I said nothing at first, it was what I wanted to happen. We enjoyed the coast, rented a coastal home, visited it many times. We came back from going out to dinner, she was not happy, said little, and just went to bed. It was the next morning, I slept in, she was in the kitchen. I knew she was mad, and then I saw the hairbrush on the table. Young man your getting a spanking, I just looked at her. I then said to her, go ahead, it should be fun, sexual foreplay I said, and I took off the underpants and stood naked, erect, smiling. Well once over her lap it was not funny, it was not sexual foreplay, that hairbrush hurt, landed hard, rapid spanks, I was kicking, squirming, saying enough and she said funny, sexual foreplay. When she finished, stood me up I was rubbing my bottom, she said no rubbing. Just stand there, no talking, should have spanked you when I wanted too. The shock was coming next, she left the room, came back with one of my spanking magazines. Disgusting she said, and then told me to get use to being spanked, no matter where. I dated her for another year, she said it was best I date more my age. It took awhile, found a wonderful girl my age. As for spankings, well it didn't take long to get a spanking from her, it was a very sound spanking. We got married, the spankings are punishment spankings. Her widow mother approves of the spankings, gave her daughter a bath brush. If your wondering, I've been spanked in front of my mother-in-law more than once. All spankings are on the bare bottom and a couple of times my mother-in-law had shown her daughter how to properly use the bathrbush. I have learned older women spank harder than the younger women. Jack
Years ago when C and i were first dating I made some sort of smart ass remark and she said that one more remark like that and she would put me over her lap and show me who was boss. I dared her and in no time I was over her lap with my jeans down and she went to work. life has not been the same since. We trade spankings both as play and sometimes punishment. They are simply a part of our life together. We have small circle of kinky friends with whom we sometimes share. C's mother knows about our fetish but does not participate though she thinks is a good idea to keep us both in line. She gave us a wonderful bath brush as an anniversary present. Spankings nearly always lead to some really intense after care which heals everything and really clears the air.
I asked my girlfriend to spank me with her sorority paddle when we were in college. She obliged and that confirmed my need to be spanked. That relationship ended, and with it my spankings. My next relationship led to marriage, but she was pretty vanilla and I was reluctant to push her where she didn’t want to go. So I read the letters in Penthouse and Variations in an attempt to satisfy my kink. Two years into our marriage we moved to the South West (US) and down the street was a tack/equestrian store. I stopped in one day and bought a short riding crop and gave it to my wife, along with my encouragement to put it to use. She did, and the rest is 40 years of history.
With Rosa, pretty much right from the start which was easy since she had already expressed her own desire to be playfully smacked. When I suggested we try it with her as the spanker, she initially needed just a very short time to process the request. It took her a few minutes and a few questions to wrap her head around being the Top, but once she gave it a try it was like a whole world opened to her! She essentially always WAS a Top who even had sadistic thoughts, but her culture had so repressed the idea that she never allowed it to surface.
The way things ended up for us is where we have been ever since: her with an occasional sexual urge to be treated roughly and even lightly smacked but without any obedience or submission attached. Just sensation play for her, but an entire D/s relationship with her in charge as our 24/7 dynamic. She is utterly convinced we are both exactly where each of us should be and she has no guilt or hesitation in doling out a punishment spanking FAR more lengthy, serious, and severe than anything she would allow to happen to herself.
The key for me has always been to never hold back on confessing my need and desired role to anyone I have ever been seriously involved with. Anything less would be disastrous.
My story might be just a little bit different. About 10 years ago I was without a partner and dearly missing spanking. A friend convinced me to go on a blind date he arranged (he was there too) at a BDSM play party. Sir Steve and his then wife both played with me - and continued to play with me for quite a few months.
Fast forward 10 years and Sir Steve and I are now together ... and picked up our spanking story from where we left over.
Jeez, what a question. Sorry, but I’ll give 5 answers, the last being the important one.
Is was shy and inexperienced but obsessed with spanking. Unsure if I was a top or bottom. I met a girl at the beach. We wandered away from a nighttime bonfire, and were flirting by play wrestling. At one point she kicked me between the legs - not super hard, but hard enough to get my attention. I turned her over and spanker her bottom, with her panties showing below her short shorts. She kicked again and I spanked again, harder. Then a third time, which was followed by a different sort of physical contact.
A few years later I had a girlfriend who professed to be open minded, and was in some ways. I asked her to spank me. She thought it was weird and told me so. The experience set me back.
Another girlfriend was taking off her belt as she undressed, held it up and said “this is my whip”. I blinked and missed the chance.
With yet another, who had a muscular chubby bottom, I took a chance and put her over my knee for some sharp slaps. She told me she didn’t think she liked it and we moved on. This time I didn’t feel bad.
After a few months with Irene, now my wife of many decades, I raised the subject. She had no interest in being spanked, but would be happy to spank me. So she did. It was a few months before she got sufficiently aggressive, but we’ve taken it into all kinds of powerful experiments, role playing etc. everything went up a notch after the kids left home. At this point, I’d say Irene is more committed to spanking as an important prelude to sexual activity than I.
- Rosco
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