Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for October 24

What is the link between spanking and sexuality for you?

Fred: Spanking is SEX for me, they are totally intertwined.

Red: We fit in both camps. Sex after spanking in some cases, but not at other times. Tends to be that if a spanking is for a reason and Cindy is perturbed, then the spanking is now real, and sex waits a day or two or three, when it is fabulous. We do spanking for discipline, and other times for fun!

Roz: Spanking and sex for us are almost always intertwined. Nowdays spanking is always part of sex. When we had an active dynamic there were various scenarios. Spanking for play, foreplay and discipline or role affirmation which didn't incorporate sex immediately afterwards, but sex often followed some time later.

Wendel: Sex occurs with or without a spanking. Sometimes we just like to get a good spanking. 

Jeanie: This question arose for me because I once agreed to a spanking session with a dear, older gentleman. He was very strict, which thrilled me immensely. He ordered me to strip and stand before him completely nude for an eternity in the center of his living room while the elastic imprints in my skin from my undies disappeared, then he helped me across his knee and paddled the holy hell out of  my poor bottom. When it was over, I was so ready for a sexual romp. I made an overture to kiss him, and he turned me back over his knee for another set of spanks, lecturing me throughout the very painful duration that sex and spanking were not related. This only made me desire burn hotter, as did the corner-time I was sentenced to endure without touching my aroused sex at all. When that half hour had elapsed (while he sat  in the center of the room and stared at my flaming bottom), I was told to get dressed and to go home. I got dressed and got into my car, drove around the block, and masturbated fervently in the dark. I honestly would not have cared if anyone saw me; I was powerless not to do so. I remember whispering over and over, "You're SO wrong!" as I climaxed. He phoned me a few days later, expressing an interest in seeing me again. I had to say no. (I've wondered ever since if he knew that denial turned me on all the more, if he did this for that reason.)

Spanking has ALWAYS been inexorably linked to my sexuality. Like that song, "Love and Marriage," I can't have one without the other. I am very happy with this link. But I discovered through this isolated experience that it is not for everyone. So, I wondered about others.

 

Prefectdt: Sex and spanking has happened for me, but only on a very few occasions. It is not my main focus and I am usually just seeking spanking fun and games. I find mixing sex and spanking difficult because although I am a spanko submissive, I am quite dominant, during sexual activities. And like for many male spankees, spanking makes Mr Stiffy go away.

 

Anon: CP is punishment only. My behavior is reviewed every Thurs. and if she decides a Sat. razor strapping is needed, then the cage goes on during the review and stays until we get home from church Sun. and I've orally brought wife to orgasm. 

 

Jack: Interesting question, I found spankings sexually fullfilling. Single, I would buy magazines, videos and masturbate alone in my apartment. I soon was looking only at the F/m spankings and creating stories of me being a naughty and getting a spanking from a girlfriend, wife. I was seeing an wonderful girl, my age, I kept my spankings a secret. Well she found my magazines and videos, and I tried to explain. She surprised me, she understood, but masturbating she said that needed to stop, and stop now. It was when she said she was going to give me a spanking I just stood there, did not know what to do. She pulled my pants, underpants down and over her lap I went. Her hand stung, and when she stopped, she pulled a hairbrush from her purse. I was soon kicking, pleading, and my bare bottom was stinging, very warm. I was rubbing it and she asked well is that what you want. I looked at her and said Yes, I need someone to understand me. She smiled, said to face the wall.

 

We are married, spankings are not for sexual pleasure, but she knows that spankings are what I need from time to time. So don't know if it really is sexual for me or just needing a woman to address my behavior at times. 

 

Morningstar: Spanking is rarely mixed with sex in our house. We have tried... well Sir Steve tried but it didn't feel "right" to him....

So sex and spanking are different activities for different days and times

 

Baxter: I have found that having sex and my wife whacking my bottom with a belt is simply amazing. The issue with that is the belt feels wonderful as my bottom warms up, but too much can make the erection quickly go down. But usually a spanking precedes sex and once going, the sex is great as is the ending. 

 

KDPierre: I have frequently used the analogy of kissing to describe spanking. Just as there are countless motives and situations which all end up with what can technically described a 'kiss', from the parental, to greeting, to respectful, to playful, flirty, daring, to sexually passionate, so too with spanking. As fellow fetishists to some degree, we should easily understand that nothing is just what it seems on the surface, but rather what we make it, or with what meaning we imbue it with. 

 

Bonnie: Fred summarized our view quite well: Spanking IS sex. Bottom warming and intercourse are virtually always blended in some fashion.

 

Rosco: For Irene and me, all spanking is sexual - even if sometimes sex does not follow for a day or two.

The spankings are mostly for some imagined transgressions where I am caught peeking up girls’ skirts or in the girls’ locker room. These are fantasies of mine that Irene has adopted and embellished. Our sexual relationship has revolved over 40+ years, and got markedly kinkier after the kids left home.

 

Hermione: The thought of spanking always turns me on, but actually being spanked is not arousing at the time. Afterwards, it's different, and I an ready for intercourse. At the moment, spanking is always a prelude to sex, though at one time, it wasn't. Due to physical issues, spankings were standalone affairs, just because I enjoyed them. Sex did not follow, and I was fine with that.

 

Thank you all for sharing your feelings with the group.