Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for February 26

How much do you want your spanking to be 'not what you want'?

Jack: My spankings are what my wife/mommy decides they are you going to be.

Bonnie: I want to receive the spankings my husband wants to give me. What I want is secondary, but since you asked, I never want a spanking exactly as I imagine it. If I did, I could just crank the old Spank-o-Matic to level 6 and let it run. No, I wish that every spanking could be more frequent, more painful, longer duration, and more emotionally intense than I think I want at that moment.

I want Randy to shock me, make me think, earn my shriek, hurt my bottom, and cause me to discard any feeble notion of dignity or decorum. This event must feel feel like punishment.

But I don't reach the point of not liking it at all. I love feeling a paddle strike my exposed seat hard and often. In fact, I crave it. The pain can be unpleasant, but it's not unwelcome.

Dan: What Bonnie said. It describes what I think I need and want, at least during the time before and after a spanking. During it? I definitely reach a point where I am not liking it at all. Every time. And, in the moment, I'm definitely not craving it. I very much want it to end. But, if it wasn't hard or long "enough" to meet the need I have to feel like I was held accountable, I instantly wish it had been harder or longer.

Prefectdt: Part of the question was "Or do you want to not enjoy it all and prefer it to be genuinely unpleasant so that during it, you are not liking it at all?" I think that is a necessary experience that I get at the start of every spanking. Until the body chemicals start flowing, it just hurts and is very unpleasant. This is just something I expect to go through in order to enjoy the rest of the spanking.

Experiencing spankings from multiple partners, I very often express a preference for this or that before play starts. But mostly I like the spanker to go for it, in the style that they prefer, so I find it pleasant to experience play that is not as I imagined it and varies from one play time to another.

I would hate to totally dictate what happens during a spanking, vive la différence.

Midwest Reader: I've only gotten close once or twice, but my perfect spanking received would be for the spanker to know my general preferences and outline of the scene - and then to take control and spank in the manner, intensity, and duration she decides best. That would probably be more than I was anticipating/wanting but it would be the loss of control on my part that would provide the intensity. 

KDPierre: First, thank you for posting my question, Hermione.

Second, the responses thus far have already surprised me in sentiment percentage, but not when I consider the responders. Then the comments make perfect sense from what I feel I've come to learn about our "group".

While my spankings take on many rationales, from naughty but fairly asexual fun, to playful sexy fun, all the way to genuine discipline meant to hurt, punish, and therefore modify or address behavior, the one thing they all share is intensity. I tend to doubt that the various spankers I've had or have in my life have magically all been of a strict mindset  - at least from the start. Instead, I think while they have trained me in behavioral ways, I believe I in turn have trained them (subtly or overtly) to eschew any hesitation in spanking hard, even for fun.

I naturally expect my punishments to be unpleasant, but I learned very early on to like when what happened even for play, wasn't completely enjoyable in the moment. When I was 19 this bothered me a bit, but the person spanking me at that time was adamant that if this was what I wanted and 'asked for' that "a spanking is a spanking", which for her meant a s[anking should hurt and be unpleasant by definition regardless of the reason. That seemed to go against everything I seemed to want at the time and was even contradicted by the SS&C dicta where spankees seemed to all want warm-ups, safe words, and essentially a serious say in whatever they got just as if they were a paying customer, which for many was actually the case.

But over time I came to appreciate the opposite. Now, I might occasionally want something more in the way I want it, but it's so rare as to be practically non-existent. Instead, even in play situations I tend to do whatever I can to send a clear signal to "make it bad". Given such a green light, not too many people can resist cutting loose, and when they see the after effect on my mood and behavior -- again even when it's just play -- they become more adamant in that that's what ALL of my spankings are going to be like. 

Wendel: It is a spanking so it is going to hurt. We both love the sting of the hand, paddle or belt smacking the bare bottom. The unexpected is usually the choice of implement and the number of smacks. Above all for us it has to be enjoyable and fun.

Hermione: What Prefectdt said. Spankings always start off as being quite unpleasant and I wish it wasn't happening. Then I get into the groove and I wish it wouldn't end for a long time.

Rosco: I like it when I start to think about wanting Irene to stop. I wouldn’t want her to go too far with bruise etc. but I like to have my limits pushed.

I also likes it when she mixes up the whole scene, a different lecture, getting tied differently, being ordered to serve and spanking differently (Irene has recently gotten into slapping or whipping my balls - I never would have thought it’d be erotic but it is.)

Thank you all for participating in this lively discussion.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine