Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for January 14

We had a lot to discuss about punishment, funishment, and the DD lifestyle.

Rosco: Irene and I don’t do punishment. If she’s really angry with me, she may express it or she may ignore me. Spanking me is the last thing she’d do.

Roleplay, however, does get pretty intense sometimes. She likes to make it hurt and I like to have my limits truly tested. Yesterday, for example, after spanking my bottom she tied me to the bed face up. Before mounting my face, Irene slapped the tops and insides of my thighs hard with her leather strap. She’ll also slap my balls - something I never would have thought I’d like. But it hurts like crazy.

All the while she’ll be lecturing me and may say it’s punishment. But it’s not serious so not punishment in the real sense.

Bonnie: I get the message when my husband brings out a serious spanking implement and delivers it forcefully and repeatedly. At those moments, it does not matter what label we apply, it sure feels like punishment to me.

Sage Blum: Thanks, Hermione, for starting discussions on these subjects. I am new to this and not into punishment spanking--just fun in bed--and am lucky to have a vanilla partner who's totally compatible. I am learning a lot from reading your blog and comments.

I have a question. I only get erotic spankings or fun spankings. And I am compatible that way with my vanilla partner who is fine with doing anything I want for foreplay. I was wondering: If a spanko bottom is only into erotic or fun spankings, aren't they more compatible with vanilla partners than with spanko tops? It seems that would be so, if all spanko tops want to inflict pain. But perhaps some spanko tops are into giving erotic pleasure through spankings? Or not? I am new to all this so it's a mystery to me. My relationship is also egalitarian so doms, subs etc. are beyond my relationship experience too.  

Welcome,Sage. I hope someone can answer your question here.

Roz: Such great questions! We have recently re-kindled our dynamic which includes both punishment and fun spankings. A punishment spanking occurs after a discussion (yes, an actual discussion) on why it is happening etc with me kneeling. Another thing that separates the two is his tone, word, general demeanor etc and the emotions present.

We also used to have spankings purely to reinforce our dynamic and roles. We haven't done that again yet, but whatever the reason for the spanking, it is always clear and I am in no doubt that he is serious. Aftercare after a punishment spanking further reinforces this.

Jack: It really started to be made clear that spankings were for punishment when my wife told me I would call her Mommy, the reason was Mommies spank naughty little boys. It was made very clear all spankings would be on the bare bottom over her lap, wall facing time, and to drive the point home when I was spanked with my mother-in-law present. It must be made clear my life is better, it is all because my wife/mommy knows what is best for me. The bath brush she started using makes it very clear she means business when it is applied to my bare bottom.

Luvinhub: When my wife and I were still in our WLM it was all punishment or maintenance spankings. I was told why I was being spanked and there was no question once she started spanking that I was being disciplined. 

Prefectdt: I think I'll opt out of this one, as I have nothing relevant to say. But I am interested in seeing other people's answers.

Barrel: My wife will tell me of an action on my part will result in “x” with the cane, either bad language or poor judgment. The punishment is rarely carried out promptly, but tends to wait until we schedule a session. Sessions are scheduled, then discussed periodically for 3 to 5 days in advance of the actual event, often times including a lunch or appetizers at a bar or restaurant where she will openly discuss what she has planned. It is scary to hear her talk about whipping or caning me with occupied tables nearby or as the server approaches our table.

I know it will be severe when she directs me to set up the bench, restraints and lay out what implements she intends to wield. As she guides me to the bench and secures me in place, she will begin to remind me why she is doing this and how much I need a serious thrashing. I usually get some warm ups with her favorite strap before she graduates to the riding crop, tawse and finally two delrin canes. As she switches implements, she lectures me on how my actions earned such stern punishment. I know it is punishment when she begins to swing the cane with all her strength. I just breathe, let the sensations in, listen to her lectures and try to answer if she asks a question how the punishment will bring out an improvement in my behavior. Usually I am asked if I have had enough, but she has trained me to always ask for more. When she is done, she hugs me and reminds me how much I needed it.

Good question this week. 

Lizzie and Walton: We (Walton & Lizzie) just discovered the blog and would like to comment on the last blog entry.  All the spankings in our relationship are "punishment" spankings tied to an issue or issues... but then they are likely not real punishment spankings as there is no serious pain.  Plenty of ritual, etc., etc.  And when one of us is really upset, the spankings are longer, hurt more, a belt of hairbrush may be used.  But all spankings lead to making up, sex.  So to most couples who practice domestic discipline - our punishments would likely not qualify as true punishment spankings. 

Sage Blum: If I'm not into serious pain, but only erotic spankings, never related to an issue, am I not really a spanko? Seems that different venues attract different people. For example, when I buy implements on Amazon, almost everyone who posts a review there writes about fun in bed. A lot fewer people talk about punishments than on the spanking blogs. 

Yes, you are really a spanko.

Wendel: I guess we do both. The Misses and I occasionally spank each other for things that the other does but it is for fun not discipline. 

Hermione: We do not do punishment spankings. As Rosco said, the last thing Ron would do to punish is spank me. I enjoy it too much:)

Thank you all for participating, and please keep the conversation going, as Sage Blum does have a couple of questions that need to be answered.

Slava Ukraini
Glory to Ukraine