Meet Patrick, the interactive bum

Last Friday evening as I was driving home I was listening to As It Happens, a current events program on CBC Radio 1. The host was interviewing a U. S. professor who had developed an interactive butt.

My ears perked up at that, and I immediately thought of its use in spanking research. Could it be? But no, the purpose was strictly utilitarian. The interactive bottom, named Patrick, was invented to help teach medical students to perform prostate exams.

"The simulator itself is a piece of plastic and around the anus area is a foam, rubbery material. It's anatomically correct, and inside, they have placed a prostate so that they can actually feel what a prostate would feel like."

So there are no firm, rounded buttocks on Patrick. Pity. But the simulator does have another purpose. Before the actual physical examination, students start using the simulator to work on their beside manner.

"Students have to talk to Patrick for about five to eight minutes," the University of Florida professor said. "They work on their social skills. They try to obtain a patient history, but also have to work through anxiety that Patrick's having."

Still, there might be an application for spanking after all. Potential spankers could try to convince Patrick that he really needs a good spanking.

Here's a short clip about the interactive bum.



Patrick's physique leaves something to be desired from an aesthetic point of view. It would be so much nicer if the butt looked spankable. Oh, wait, the Japanese have already invented that. It's Shiri.

The Breakaway Paddle

In 1953 George F. Jorgenson invented a paddle with a breakaway handle, for use by overzealous disciplinarians. He explains in his notes, "A primary object of this invention is to provide a paddle for use in disciplining...the paddle having means for preventing accidental injury...by striking too hard a blow." The paddle was "light in construction, sturdy and durable, and inexpensive to manufacture."

No need to exercise restraint and moderation; the paddle will do it for you. Apply the paddle with too much force and the handle will give way, I assume at numbers 43 and 38. (Patent number 2645488)

Download this amazing app

First there was the iPod. Then came the iPhone, followed by the iPad. Now, the latest technological innovation is here: the iBelt. Just strap it on, and when a certain someone needs a spanking but isn't close enough to swat, use this app to administer correction virtually.

No, not really, The iBelt isn't spanking-related, but it does save your hide when you are doing something naughty.