Spanks but no spanks!

“Fake Reaction” is a British television program in which the contestants are subjected to different unpleasant experiences in each round. The panel has to guess which contestants are just faking it and which one gets the real thing. In this segment, posted by Valdor at The Spank Statement, the contestants get spanked.

Click on the image below to find out who the winner is.

It’s not spanking every week unfortunately!

Wednesday WIN

There's something for everyone in this assortment of gems from my cartoon collection.

You need a spanking ...

... for playing too much online poker!

Pyramid of Spanking

We often play Guess the Implement here on my blog, and recently Ron and I played it too, but our version was quite different.

It all started when I wondered whether I could tell the difference between two similar leather paddles. Ron suggested we try guessing the implements, and I reminded him of his suggestion a couple of weeks later, right before a date for spanking. He took it from there.

Ron laid five different implements on the bed and let me memorize which ones they were: leather paddle, riding crop, red slapper, wooden shoehorn and bamboo spatula. Then I bent over the end of the bed with my head turned away so I couldn't see which implement Ron chose, and the game began. The only problem was, I wasn't sure what the rules were, except that I was going to be spanked with five different weapons.

"The red slapper," I called out after the third swat from the first selection."

"You guessed too soon," Ron admonished me. "Once you guess, it's over for that implement." He did give me several more quick swats to forgive me my beginner's error, then announced, " You have reached level one of the pyramid of spanking."

I recognized the second implement right away, but kept my opinion to myself while it made an impression on my bottom.

"How long do I wait?" I asked, between gasps and squeaks.

"As long as you like," the referee said.

"Shoehorn."

"Correct."

As Ron began the third level of the pyramid, I asked, "Shouldn't there be a set length of time--ow!-- for you to let me sample the--ow! How about a minute? Ow, ow! Like that show we watched with the couple--ow!--riding crop."

"Correct.

The bamboo spatula was next, and I guessed that as well. Even though I figured Ron was making up the game as we went along, I had never had such a variety at one time and let me tell you, it keeps the pain fresh and interesting.

Then it was time for the last level. I knew what was left, and didn't want the spanking to end, so I stayed silent until Ron asked, "Don't you understand the rules?"

"What rules?" I giggled.

"You have to guess."

"Hairbrush."

"What hairbrush? There's no hairbrush here."

Another pause for paddling. "Bathbrush."

"No bathbrush either."

Whack. Whack. "Ping pong paddle."

"We don't have a ping pong paddle."

"We should get one."

WHACK. "Okay, leather paddle."

"Good." Ron put down the paddle and helped me up. I rubbed my sore bottom and asked him sweetly, "What's my prize?"

"You've had it."

The Newlyspanked Game

The Newlywed Game was a popular daytime quiz show in the sixties and seventies. Four recently married couples played the game each day. All the men would be asked a series of questions, with the women out of earshot, then the women would come back onstage and have a chance to respond to the same questions. When both partners agreed on the answer they would earn points. The process was then reversed, with the men leaving the set while the women answered another set of questions. The couple with the most points won a prize, while couples who had failed to agree on much were often not speaking to each other by the end of the half-hour show.

Ron and I played our own version of the game with some spanking-related questions I made up. We each replied to the questions independently, then compared answers.

Here's what we came up with. I'd better warn you in advance that Ron has a weird sense of humour. I left his answers unedited because he was so good about playing along with me on this.

1. What is your favourite implement?
H: Dogging bat
R: Weed whacker (that's the dogging bat)

2. What are you most likely to say after a spanking?
H: "Thank you"
R: "You're welcome"

3. If you were to pretend someone else was being spanked, who would it be?
H: A naughty schoolgirl
R: Mother Teresa

4. If you were to pretend someone else was giving the spanking, who would it be?
H: A high school principal
R: Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil

5. When are you most likely to postpone a spanking?
H: Company's coming and I have to tidy the house
R: Shovelled the driveway twice and it's still snowing.

6. What do you like best about spanking?
H: Being close to my lover
R: Hot sex afterward

7. What is the first thing you do after a spanking?
H: Check my bum in the mirror
R: Have a beer

8. How often would you like to engage in spanking?
H: Every second day
R: Once a week

9. What do you do to surprise your partner before or during a spanking?
H: Propose a new or different position
R: Use the buckle end of the belt

10. Which one of you suggested spanking first?
H: Ron
R: Me

There you have it. Please feel free to play this game with your significant other and post the results on your blog.

Truth or Dare

It's not too late to order this adult version of the party game, Truth of Dare, for the holidays. Recommended in a national newspaper as a way to spice up the festive season,

Santa needn't be the only one knowing who's naughty or nice. The truth will out with this erotic card game inviting lovers to draw lots to see who gives, and who receives, the saucy gift of a spanking.

You can buy if from Chroniclebooks.com. While you're there, check out what customers who bought the game also bought.

Ron said I could buy one, and even though it's no mystery who will be giving or receiving the spanking, it would be a fun way to spend New Year's Eve.