How they handle pain

Last week I read a newspaper article in which top athletes were asked to describe how they handled pain. I've selected some of the pain-beating answers that seemed to be quite applicable to us spankos - tops and bottoms alike.


A mountain biker: "...I write a power word somewhere on my bike so if my eyes go down I see it. Other times I ask my coach to remind me of it. He even coined 'disciplined thought' for me for those times when I...need to stay focused."

A cross-country skier: "I've leaned into pain and pushed harder thanks to a quote...'There's more in there'. In a sport where pain is a given, the key is to prepare a response in advance for when it comes. You know it's coming. What are you going to do about it? I...hang on for dear life."

An Olympic marathoner: "I tell myself, 'Just two more...just two more strokes.' And I count 'one, two, one, two' as many times as needed..."
An Olympic gymnast: "When the going gets tough, I remind myself that I am doing this because I like to, and it's my choice. I want this."

An Olympic boxer: "I energize myself by hitting real hard."

An Olympic canoe-kayak medalist: "My muscles can only afford to do so much work. So for years I put them to the test: I paddle harder and farther and faster every day, albeit by a small margin... All this training, not in an effort to reduce the pain...but effectively to increase it."

We need to play this game

Following on yesterday's sports theme, I've discovered a game that Ron and I have to take up. It's frescobol - a game similar to raquetball, invented in Brazil in 1945. It is played by two or more players, and its primary distinction from other paddle-type sports is that it is played cooperatively; there are no winners or losers.

Just like spanking.

I don't really want to actually play frescobol. I just want the equipment. Can you imagine having all these gorgeous paddles lying around the house?

Friday Fail

These three athletes are too intent on competing in their chosen sport to notice that they are leaving themselves open for a good spanking.

I've Been Converted!

I normally have no interest in televised sporting events, but Ron loves American football, and last Sunday was the big game for his team, the Minnesota Vikings. I was busy elsewhere - baking, reading blogs, answering emails, and photographing my culinary efforts for an upcoming blog post. Eventually I wandered down to the family room and joined Ron for a while to keep him company, although I have to admit I was there in body only, and was entertaining myself with Sudoku. I was only half listening to an interview with the quarterback, Brett Favre.

(Why do they all mispronounce his name? I'm as passionate about correct pronunciation as I am about good grammar. Everyone says "Farve" instead of "Fahvrrrre". Or if you're like me and can't roll your Rs, it's perfectly acceptable to drop the R and simply say "Fahve". But I digress.)

The interview suddenly became very interesting when the Fox network's Pam Oliver asked Brett why he smacked butts so often. Then there was a quick succession of clips, with Brett's hand on a butt in each one. His response was that if someone is feeling down, that's his remedy. Favre shared the secret to his technique, explaining that "you don't want to cup it. You want to smack it."

Ron and I exchanged knowing grins, and after the interview was over he said, "He's a butt-whacker too, so I guess you'll be cheering for the Vikings."

Go, Buttwhackers! Er, I mean Vikings!

Here's the pertinent part of the interview.

Paddling for Canada

Found in the sports section of a national newspaper:

IOC shakes up paddling program


More women and fewer men will paddle at the 2012 Olympics, the IOC announced yesterday.

The shakeup drew both cheers and groans from the athletes, trainers and organizers.

"That's great," K.F. said. "The more events for women, the better."

Not everyone was as thrilled. Revisions were announced on the IOC website. In 2012, all men's 500-stroke events will be switched to 200 strokes; a women's 200-stroke will be added. Women will compete in five events and men in 11.

M.O., one of Canada's premier paddlers, predicted the changes will dramatically alter the sport. Some men now paddle in both the 500-stroke and 1,000-stroke events. That will end, he said, because the training required for 200 stroke is different from the training needed to prepare for a 1,000-stroke event.

"You are going to see a lot of specialists in one or the other," O. said after winning his heat in the 500-stroke preliminary. "Maybe it will mean better sessions. I'm not sure. I will have to decide whether to concentrate on one or the other. I don't want to be mediocre in both."

This was part of an actual news item about the canoeing and kayaking events. Oh, I might have replaced the word 'metre' with 'stroke' in a few places. A sort of reverse censorship.