Bottoms - They're Always in Season

There's a wide variety of locally-grown fresh fruit in the grocery stores this week, thanks to the warm weather we've been having. I couldn't walk past the display of peaches without reaching for a container of them to take home and enjoy on my breakfast cereal. Maybe I'll make a peach cobbler too.

I love fresh peaches, but could it be their similarity to paddled bottoms that caught my eye?

Mouse Pad?

The keyword and comments on Cheezburger suggest this is a mouse pad. What do you think?

As far as I'm concerned, I probably wouldn't get much work done. But where is the space for the mouse?

A Peach of a Bottom

How do you make your product memorable? By making it look like a spankable bum, of course! Customers are flocking to fruit vendors in China who dress their ripe peaches in panties.

Imagine the work that went into sewing all those tiny panties, then slipping them onto each blushing beauty.

Read the full story and enjoy more pictures here on Bored Panda.

Spanking Veggies

Last week while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, I opened the cupboard under the sink and selected a few potatoes to make French fries. As I scrubbed them under the tap, I noticed that one was misshapen. That didn't matter because I never peel potatoes when making fries. I slice them with the skins on because it's more nutritious and it saves me the extra work.

Then I took a closer look at the oddly-shaped spud.

Doesn't that look like a well-rounded bottom to you? That's what I thought, so I set it aside to snap a few photos. Here's a closer shot. You can see what looks like a belt mark on the upper right cheek.

Here's the other side of the same potato. It still looks like a bum, with a cute little dimple on each cheek.

There were plenty of other potatoes that didn't have such endearing physical characteristics, so we still enjoyed our fries for dinner that night. I kept the potato on display for a few days until Ron insisted that it become a French fry like all its brothers and sisters. it was delicious!

While on the subject, you may enjoy this post by Sugar, which shows what happens when potatoes need discipline.

Just in time for Father's Day

Bottoms up! These clever glasses are available at Home Outfitters. Hurry in, while supplies last!


While we're on the subject of that ever-popular beverage, how about a glass that matched Dad's iPad?

Which Bottom is Yours?

Have you ever checked the mirror after a spanking and seen your bottom? Which one did it resemble?

Butt Rip

From Just for Laughs Gags, a clever gag about the danger of sitting on a wooden park bench.

Which one is yours?

Mine resembles the Apple.

Lined Bottoms - get them while they're hot!

I was browsing through a flyer from a clothing store yesterday and a large banner at the top of an inside page caught my eye.

$10 Off Men's Lined Bottoms

Was this reputable shop in the habit of caning men for a fee? Were they offering a reduced rate for this week only? My mind considered the possibilities, but a closer look at the picture under the caption brought me back to reality.

The lined bottoms were, in fact, denim jeans with a flannel lining - a necessity for Canadian winters.


 On another page was a similar advertisement that also made me smile.

Women's Striped Bottoms

Sadly, it had nothing to do with naughty young ladies being caned in the changing rooms at the back of the store. It was a reference to the pattern on the fabric.

I wonder how many other readers were fooled, at least for a moment or two, by the magic of advertising.

Wednesday WIN

An assortment of bottoms to brighten your day.

An amazing mailbox

 A "bear bottom" at the beach

 Bottom feeders lookers

 Arf! Arf!

Naughty little bus!

Bottoms Up

Ron and I went shopping for groceries together earlier this week. When we got to the cash, I noticed that new card-swiping machines (for want of a better term) had been installed since our last visit. After the cashier had rung up the total, she asked how I would be paying.

"American Express," I replied.

"Swipe your card," she said, indicating the little machine before me. Up until then, customers didn't swipe their own cards, but handed them over to the person on the other side of the conveyer belt. This was a new procedure but I figured it wasn't a big deal. I looked down at the screen.


Welcome

Swipe your card


I swiped.


Invalid action  
Try again


I swiped again.


Invalid action  
Try again


I swiped for the third time.


Card is invalid
Transaction aborted


"No it's not!" I protested, and glanced around to see who was watching and thinking I had exceeded my credit limit or worse, that I was using a stolen card.

The cashier said, "Let's try it again." She reset the machine, then took my card and swiped it, running the card through the slot with an upward motion, in the opposite direction to the one I had tried. The screen blinked, thought a moment, then flickered.



Approved



So that's the trick. Swipe the other way," I remarked.

"Bottoms up," Ron commented. "You should be able to remember that." He leered knowingly at me.

The cashier and the customers behind us must have wondered why we both thought that was so funny. We chuckled all the way to the car. I have a feeling that we are going to refer to that particular grocery store as "bottoms up" from now on.

Bottom Blushers

These amazing spanking implements - the Bottom Blushers above and the Little Spankers below - were created by artist Bert Gilbert. They are genuine works of art, although they probably have a useful purpose too. They went on display last April at Coco de Mer in London. Alas, they aren't available online.

Boxing Day Bottoms

Today is Boxing Day, and shopping at the Boxing Day sales is nearly as big an event in Canada as Black Friday is in the States. Unbelievable as it sounds, at one time it was illegal for shops to be open on that day, and merchants faced a $10,000 fine if they did. The larger stores opened anyway, and their profits more than made up for the penalty.

Who could pass up a bargain like this?

Friday Fun

It's the end of a long week; time to get way from the daily grind for a couple of days for some fun and relaxation.

First take off that dress or suit and slip into something comfortable.

 

You might like to start off with some appropriately-named refreshment.

Maybe an invigorating ride is more your style.

Or an outdoor sporting adventure.

Whatever you do to relax, remember one thing:

Have fun!

A Safety Message

(courtesy of my husband)


What causes the most accidents in Canada ?

Not cell phones

Not the radio
 
Not the GPS monitor

Not talking

Not texting

Not watching a car video

Not changing a CD

The most frequent cause of accidents in Canada is:

Yep! You guessed it !


 


Inappropriate footwear.