You Completed the Caption

This is a real photo of World War II soldiers sitting a latrine. Imagine! Not very comfy, and certainly no privacy. During WWII, British soldiers got a ration of three sheets of toilet paper a day while  Americans got 22 sheets.

Now let's see what you thought of the photo.

Simon: I'll be glad when they finish building the new toilet block.

Since the ban on smoking indoors the attendees at the monthly femdom spanking parties have all seriously considered giving up.

Arched one: OK we're ready for our weekly spanking.

Leigh: Gives new meaning to the term 'bottom's up.'

Baxter: Ok, on the count of three, everyone squeeze out a loaf.

Here I sit, broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.

Sir Wendel: Cooling off after getting their butts whipped by Miss Candy.

Ronnie: Spot the odd one out.


Now let's all relax over a leisurely brunch. It will be served in just a few hours, so stick around.

Friday FAIL

At the office we usually go out for lunch on Friday, so let's see what's happening in the neighbourhood restaurants.

Maybe we should skip this place.

I think I have all those cards in my wallet.

Hmmm...the house salad looks interesting, but plaster isn't on my diet.

Google translate, you failed again!

A bakery with a sense of humour - let's eat here!


For more laughs, Complete the Caption.

Complete the Caption

There's a true story behind this picture, which I will share with you later. But for now, can you guess what these men are waiting for?

Complete the caption by leaving a comment, and I will publish your conjectures in an upcoming post.

Gotta cut it short

Yesterday Ron had a phone call from an old friend whom he hadn't seen for a while. He had promised me a spanking in the afternoon and it was almost time, but I figured I'd be off the hook since he would want to catch up on all the news with his pal. So Ron took the call in his study and I amused myself with a game on the iPad.

I kept one eye on the clock, watching the minutes slowly progress toward the appointed time. He'd probably be on the phone for at least another half hour, I told myself. I became absorbed in my game and was startled to hear Ron's footsteps on the stairs. One glance at the clock told me that he had not forgotten his promise to me.

"I cut it short," I heard Ron explain. "I said I had to give you a spanking."

Wait, what? I turned around and looked at him. His expression was serious but a twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

"Yeah, right," I laughed, and put the iPad down. Then off we went, right on schedule.

From the Top Shelf - The Whippery

This is the third selection from Hall of Infamy by Amanita Virosa. Today we find Jamie, Amelia and Clara in conversation. There is a certain part of Hope Hall that Jamie wishes the girls to see.

"Mrs. Pritchard, would you be so kind as to escort Amelia and Clara to the Whippery?

"With pleasure, sir." Mrs Pritchard gave Jamie a brief nod and opened the door for the two cousins. Amelia followed Clara miserably out of the parlour.

Amelia did not know the long high-ceilinged corridor that Mrs. Pritchard ushered them down. Nor did she know to which part of the hall it led. Even so, a feeling of dread crept over her as the girls' high heels clacked on the parquet flooring. For one thing there was something ominously gloomy about the passage. For another, there was the word 'whippery' which hardly boded well.

"The Whippery was built by the twelfth Marquis of Hatherby, nearly two hundred years ago." The usually dour Mrs. Pritchard became more loquacious with every step. "All the maids hate this walk," she said with obvious satisfaction. "You two girls will learn to fear it before too long, I expect."

There were carved marble friezes on the walls now and Amelia glanced at them as they passed. To her horror, she realised that they skilfully depicted numerous figures, mostly rather plump-looking young women being bound to posts and benches. Some were being tied and stripped. Others were evidently about to be flagellated. Further down the passageway, others were depicted actually receiving a whipping. Amelia looked away again and shuddered.

"These bas-reliefs were commissioned at the same time as the Whippery was built." It seemed that the sharp-eyed Mrs. Pritchard had noticed her interest. "There's nothing like them in the three counties. The twelfth Marquis was a man truly dedicated to the use of the rod."

There was a tone of outright admiration in her voice. Amelia glanced again at the reliefs and shivered. At the further end of the series, men were taking the naked girls down from the whipping posts and...hurriedly, blushing, she looked away again.

"As you see, in those days the Lords of Hatherby could do pretty much exactly as they pleased." Mrs. Pritchard sounded regretful that such days had passed, even a little sad. "And the estates were vast. That's why the Whippery had to be so large."

They were past the friezes now but shelves of massive black books lined the rest of the corridor.

"These are the big black books of Hope Hall. They go back nearly two centuries," the housekeeper continued informatively. "You will see that they used to flog staffs of forty or more maids at a time. Not to mention the footmen and stable-boys... Ah!!" Amelia had never seen the woman so excited and enthusiastic. "How those walls must have echoed with their squeals!"

At the far end of the corridor there was a sort of lectern containing a huge open book. Mrs. Pritchard paused to show them the names inscribed there. Amelia suppressed a smile as she saw the name of Betsy among those of the maids. Then her pleasure curdled for, at the end of the list of names, she saw her own and Clara's.

"This is the current big book and this page represents the current week. When you are told to add a black mark you will do so, like this." Mrs. Pritchard took a pen from an inkwell which was set into the stand, and carefully drew a black cross next to Amelia's name. "The usual tariff is one dozen strokes of the birch for each black mark, paid off after church on Sunday."

"But..." Amelia stared at the mark, then up at the still-poised pen, with horror.

"That is for this morning's little tantrum," Mrs. Pritchard said with satisfaction. "Normally, you will be sent down here to inscribe your own fate. The contemplation engendered by the walk is considered salutary."

Before Amelia could protest further, Mrs Pritchard turned to the side and threw open a set of large double-doors. Amelia and Clara stepped into the Whippery and both stood looking around in awe. What struck Amelia most was the elegance of the chamber. After Mrs. Pritchard's commentary she had expected the room to be larger. Not that it was small. The Whippery was circular and divided into two halves. One half had several semi-circular banks of seats of reddish oak with crimson velvet cushions.

"Seating for seventy spectators altogether," Mrs. Pritchard said smugly. "Not that it needs to be used very often, these days."

The second half of the room was made up of a small stage flanked by two tiers of more basic wooden benches, arching off at either side, and cut off from the platform by a door on either side. The whole of the Whippery was as light as a conservatory, despite the quantities of woodwork. More than three-quarters of the circular building was composed of tall glass windows,which started just above the level of the highest rows of seats. Above these was a small wall, then another row of lights, this time sloping inward, to meet the base of a glass and ironwork cupola high above.

"The stage faces south, to get the best of the light," Mrs. Pritchard said reverently.

Amelia was already looking at the stage. Affixed to the back wall was a great St. Andrew's cross, and at either side were arranged several dismal looking whipping blocks and trestles.

What a room! I suspect we will be joining the audience to watch some exciting spectacles before long.

Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for May 1

We discussed quiet spankings, and here are your suggestions.

Roz: On the occasions a spanking has had to be quiet it has usually been shorter to hopefully lessen the chances of being heard and less intense. Rick would often change his technique too.

Downunder Don: We have not quite worked out the art of quiet spanking...any advice will be gratefully received.

Hobbes: When the children were still home and in those years in an apartment we found two things were very quiet and very effective, a switch and a rubber hose. The switch could be cut fresh from a willow tree along the creek by married student housing and then later on an auto mechanic left a length of brake hose [about eighteen inches] in the car after he finished working on it. Either is very quiet but gives an intense sting and leaves light marks so they do have to be used with some care and practice. And if the recipient is a "howler" a clean wash cloth between the teeth works well. The rubber hose is soft and supple, not hard and large, so it will not do serious tissue damage but definitely can be used full strength swing to good effect. It is pretty much that black hose you remember from your high school chem class Bunsen burner. Amazingly quiet and very effective and cheap. Just go to an auto supply place and get 18". If you do use a switch be careful as it can sometimes nick the skin and split it slightly. Please use both with loving care.

Sir Wendel: Once I spanked the misses when her family was over to visit. We were on the second floor with the door closed. She refrained from complaining during. The misses does not believe they heard the smacks although to this day I swear that her sister knew.

arched one: The quietest implement we have is the whip. We didn't care for the whips being sold so R told me to make her one. I used boot laces (leather) and made a handle to attach them to. There is no impact noise at all and does its job quite well.

Gracie: Mr M uses severe but quiet implements - like the cane or hairbrush. Quieter and less actual spanking needed before I've learned my lesson ;-).

Anon 1: In general the smartier the spank, the louder the noise, but flat things like slippers, hands or paddles tend to make more noise than the thin ones. A very thin cane or switch applied fast and for some time to a slack bottom, its owner lying prone, generates a healthy smart, and very little noise. However her burning bottom may elicit some yells, so some sort of gentle gag may be needed.

Wilma: If Barney spanks 'in the moment' he has to use a quiet implement. I haven't ever been much of a noise maker (unless whatever he is using wraps around and hits the side of my thigh). I am more of a hisser, and snorter (think angry bull...lol) truth be told.

He has several quiet implements, various canes, a devil's braid, flogger (which is very ineffective so he doesn't use it), silicone icing spreader (Damn you, Betty Crocker) the list goes on. He usually sticks with the lexan cane for all infractions, regardless of if people are home or not. The difference lies in the length of time and the position of the punishment. I am far more exposed and restrained if the kids are not home.

Amy: Lately, I've been spanked in the walk-in closet in our bedroom because the clothes hanging all around seem to dampen the sound when there are other people in the house. Eric has even used a big leather strap in there and as far as we could tell, nobody was the wiser.

Anon 2: We'll hide it... keep it quiet, somehow, while traveling or visiting. At home, that's another story, it doesn't matter who is around it's not going to be a quiet affair. That was one of her first rules in agreeing to an FLR relationship. When in the house, much to my dismay, there is no hiding the fact that she is the HOH. I've been hauled up/downstairs many a time in front of friends and family for a good blistering with her razor strap/strop over the years.

Ronnie: If we need to be quiet the spanking will be shorter and P will use a cane. Either our OTK one or a thin garden cane.

Blondie: He uses a quiet implement, like a cane to spank. And I do everything I can to not scream. The spankings are usually shorter in time but harder in the spank.

Yorkie: We used to live on a property in 2 separate buildings, so if everyone was in the main house we could occasionally indulge, but now we are all in one house (extended family live with myself, my wife and our 4 kids) there is no chance unless we go away and check into a hotel. Haven't had an opportunity where there is only my wife and I are the only ones home. Yet...

Hermione: We are lucky to have a house all to ourselves, so there's no reason to be quiet. In summer we will close the windows in case the neighbours are outside, but that's about it. Our carpet beater and loopy Johnny are the quietest implements, but thankfully we don't need to use them often.

Thank you for all the suggestions on how to keep the noise to a minimum!

Spanko Brunch 2.0 #123

Welcome back, dear friends. We all know that spankings can be very noisy affairs, and that's part of the fun. But what if you have friends, parents, or children within earshot and you absolutely have to keep the noise down?

Do you sometimes need to have quiet spankings? How do you keep the sound to a minimum? 

Leave your reply as a comment. Once everyone has had a chance to leave their suggestions, I will publish a summary of our discussion.